Tidying Up Asa, Inviting Hidayah

102. Seeking Your way

🍁The softness of your heart, has melted me. The way you speak soothes a thirsty soul.🍁

Hara

I read the blurb on the back of the cover of a predominantly green book. The title and cover image listed, quite tickle my curiosity. This book seems to contain advice from a cleric.

“Pak!” the voice calls from behind the back, breaking the thoughts that are diving in word for word.

I turned my head, finding Jenar standing with a panicked face. His hands were squeezing each other and his head was flinging to the right-left like he was looking for someone.

“I looked for Brother Noura everywhere, but did not meet. Not connected either. How's this?” panicked.

I watched along the hall, invisible to Noura's nose. Then I walked to the end, looking for maybe the girl was on the other side of the sight. As far as the eye could see, there was no Noura.

“He wasn't the same as you?”

Jenar shook her head loudly, “I have been the same father, Brother Noura chose his own book. Now suddenly say, why did Kak Noura leave unattended, yes?”

I frowned, pretending to think. Though in the heart, amused to see the face full of anxiety Jenar. The girl is very easy to work with, I who do not have a sense of humor so moved always want a prank.

“Why did Noura suddenly leave? Though earlier he insisted on wanting to accompany you shopping for books.”, I said with a serious face.

“Is it possible that Brother Noura was angry, because from earlier I just let him find his own book? Usually I ask for his opinion if the course of the book.” clear Jenar with a furrowed forehead and eyebrows almost fused, looks like a person who is thinking hard.

“It could be like that. Why didn't you ask for his opinion just now? Though there have been many books that you took.” I deliberately provoked his statement.

“Ehm ...,” Jenar still displays the same expression when continuing the answer, “Because I have asked for your opinion, Kak Noura is also busy looking for her own book.”

“Yakin Noura busy looking for books? I know he doesn't like to read, he doesn't like to collect books either. Maybe he was bored to be in this place for a long time, while you did not invite him to talk.” I gave an analysis according to my thoughts.

Jenar covered her mouth with her palms, her eyes bulging. I can guess, surely his mouth is wide open.

“Astagfirulloh! You're right, I ignored Brother Noura from earlier. She must be angry, how is this?” Jenar's face was increasingly pale, anxious must have hit his mind.

“Already! It's okay, at least he's home.” I pretended to try to entertain when happy after successfully working on it.

“If Brother Noura comes home first, this is who pays?” Jenar pointed at the basket containing many books listlessly. A disappointed expression that made me feel sorry.

“Aneesha has not transferred money to you?”

Aneesha always transfers money every month to her sister for the purpose of buying books. Especially this month he did not directly give to Jenar, for a reason. I know what made Aneesha divert her sister's monthly allowance to me.

Jenar shook his head weakly, “Born Brother Neesha said this month the money to buy books was not directly given to me. Maybe Brother Neesha no longer believes in me, so he is worried that his money is diverted.”

“Aneesha says so?” I asked to lure Jenar who always felt over thinking. He shook his head, then I continued my opinion, “That means it's just your assumption. Unless there is an act that hurts your brother's trust, you can only assume that. It could be that Aneesha has another reason this month not to give directly money for book shopping to you.”

“Once, Sir. I feel bad for you, Brother Neesha and Brother Noura.” Jenar replied after breathing heavily.

“That makes you uncomfortable about your monthly money allotment or because Noura left without saying goodbye?” my many.

“Both. I am not bad because maybe Brother Neesha does not believe in me anymore, Brother Noura may also be angry because I feel cuekin earlier.” replied Jenar weakly.

The answer that made me unable to hold back a smile. This girl is very easy to get carried away with feelings, always insecure, and tends to over think. Dr. Halimah said, there must be someone who can make her confidence grow.

“That's your new thought, right? Try now you ask Aneesha, if she does not give you a direct monthly ration for disbelief. Noura also asked, did she leave because you didn't notice her?” I asked Jenar to confirm her prejudice.

“No dare, Sir. Later Brother Neesha is offended and Brother Noura could be even more angry.” During the time I spoke to him, Jenar kept his head down.

“If I asked how?”

Jenar looked up, then shook her head quickly, “Don't I later be counted complaining to mr.”

“You are weird! Don't want to find out, but busy guessing, don't get tired it's mind and heart?” i grunt. Genar needs to be addressed.

“Ya, already! Now what do you want?” I waited, because Jenar seemed to be thinking.

“Buy a book for enough money that I just bring, tomorrow if Brother Neesha has given money, just bought again.” replied Jenar after a moment of silence, then back on the bow.

“I payin first how? Than the books are returned to the shelf, besides saving time so that tomorrow does not shop anymore.” suggested.

Jenar shook her head, “I don't want to trouble you anymore. I have troubled Mr. Hara quite often.”

Basic pure Javanese girl who is innocent, always put forward a bad taste. It is also unbearable to let him wallow in presumptions and guilt. I decided to stop working on it.

“If it turns out Aneesha has entrusted your monthly allowance to me, how?” I had to wait a while, until Jenar could digest the sentence.

The girl looked up, with wide eyes. The surprised expression after successfully reviewing the sentence, which made me amused.

“Really?” asked Jenar who I replied with a nod.

“So I don't need to return all these books to the shelf, dong? I also do not need to wait for Brother Neesha to transfer money to me?” he still doesn't believe it.

I nodded, “Even you can still add a few more books.”

“Alhamdulillah!” Jenar exclaimed while cupping both palms in the face. The originally sad face, turned radiant for a moment.

“Almost I-” I frowned, waiting for him to finish a hanging sentence. Jenar seemed to think, before asking, “Kak Noura continued how? Do I need to apologize to him?”

I shook my head, “Noura is not angry, you are over thinking!”

“Pak Hara, really, can you say that?” a twinkle of joy disappeared from Jenar's face, changing with a look of probing eyes.

“Because he said it to me, forced to go home first, because there is a sudden business.” I replied explaining.

A breath of relief was heard from Jenar's nose, “Alhamdulillah!” he then looked at me, “So I don't need to apologize to Brother Noura, yes, sir?”

I nodded, “Iya, there is no need to suspect that your brother does not believe you either. Because all of this is not true! Next time if there is a problem like this, try not to insecure, even if someone provokes you. You can ask directly to the person, rather than prejudiced that is not clear juntrungannya.”

I saw a wide arch on Jenar's lips that formed a faint indentation on both of her cheeks. As soon as I was fixated, that smile was truly comforting. However, just for a moment the smile faded.altered with a sharp look of eyes that looked at me deeply.

"So Mr Hara already knew from earlier that the money for book shopping was not transferred directly to me as Brother Neesha?"

I nodded in response to Jenar's question, Since three days ago Aneesha left your monthly allowance to me."

"Pak Hara also knows, if Sister Noura comes home first but doesn't tell me? Then let me get confused and look for it everywhere?" search Jenar.

I nodded, knowing the direction of the accusation. Jenar's reddened face, with a sharp eye, made me anxious.

"Sir Hara got me, huh?" his mouth pursed his lips.

I can't help but laugh. Especially when he heard the girl grumbling in a slow voice.

“Luckily hpnya Kak Noura is not active, if he had picked up the phone, I would be embarrassed because it has put prejudice that is not-no.” said Jenar.

“Eat is reduced, tuh, likes to be prejudiced in others. What do you call it?” my many.

“Su’udzon, Sir.” replied Jenar.

“Well! Don't like su’udzon same person.” I advise.

Jenar grew sullen, between annoyed at being successfully bullied and objections advised. A subtle sigh was felt inside there, like delivering an imperceptible warm current. I smiled at her funny face when I was upset.

“But it doesn't have to be excessive either, right?” I said, and then said spontaneously, "You're pouting more sweet."

jenar who was bowing bowed, was about to take a basket full of books, flinching. I immediately took over the basket, as he seemed overwhelmed with lifting. For me it is not difficult to carry two baskets, even though the contents are heavy. From the tail of my eyes I saw Jenar looking down, so that I did not know her hidden tears.

“Weight, right, Sir?” tanyanya.

I shook my head, answered Jenar's question, “It's still heavy carry you.”

Jenar looked up, a few moments glued to look at me and then throw the face. I read the awkwardness, maybe I don't like the slumber of falling asleep. Immediately set aside the topic, so that the atmosphere does not freeze. Inevitably, awkwardness also spread my feelings.

“There are still books to buy?” ask me after clearing my throat to neutralize the sound.

Jenar nodded quickly. Then we walked casually down the hallway between the shelves. Several times Jenar stopped if he saw an interesting book. I continued reading a book blurb titled ‘Message Love Mbah Moen’. My memory flies to a charismatic figure whose picture is displayed on the wall of the living room of the Al-Hidayah boarding school.

“Pak Hara want to buy it?” the question from the right side made me turn my head, then nod.

“It looks interesting,” my answer is short.

“What makes Mr Hara interested? Though not read the contents.” Jenar looked up at the book I was holding.

“I've seen this Kyai posing with Kyai Ali, his picture is displayed in the boarding house living room. Is he a famous scholar?”

Jenar nodded, “K.H Maimoen Zubair, or better known as Mbah Moen is a great scholar. His name is famous, not only in Indonesia, but also abroad. He motivates people a lot through simple wise advice but mengena.”

I must have heard the explanation of Jenar, more curious about the contents of the book that is still sealed.

“Ehm ...,” Jenar muttered softly. I immediately put the book in the basket, then focus on watching it. It seems that the girl wants to talk.

“Is Mr Hara studying islam?” asked Jenar while glancing at the contents of my lair.

I smiled, answering the questions that had approached from several people many times. “Iya. Wh why? Weird, huh?” I could see the look on Jenar's face. The girl must have felt bad, had asked me about personal matters.

“Since living at Pak Wawan's house, there are many things that make me interested in studying your religion.”.

“Pak Hara is interested in our religion? What part of it interested you? While many other religious people who call us ******, consider Islam is an anarchist religion only because of the actions of a few people. Not to mention some say, our worship can not be logged.” Jenar doubts my words.

I chuckle, “Terrorists and anarchists, I know why anyone would call Islam that. What about worship without logic? Please explain!” It turns out that Jenar is a partner who is fun to discuss. Talking about sensitive things like this also does not feel heavy and carried away feelings.

“It's about wudlu. Mr Hara knows what cancel wudlu?” Jenar asked before starting to explain.

I thought for a moment, remember holding Jenar's hand and she said the door was off. “Handle with opposite sex.” I replied.

Jenar nodded, “One of them is, but there are others. That is defecation, small and wind. Nah! Some say strange, because we wudlu after defecating or wind. It cannot be thought of logically ... when passing wind****, then washing your face, hands and feet.”

I frowned, digesting the sentence that Jenar spoke, trying to put into reason. But it's hard, I can't find an understanding of it.

“Indeed weird, anyway. You know why it is necessary to wudlu after passing wind?” Rather than thinking of something beyond the reach of reason, I would rather ask, Jenar would know better why.

“Pak Hara also thought for sure why not the butt cleaned, yes, right?” I'm nodding. Then Jenar continued the explanation, “Because of its essence, wudlu it to purify the heart and soul instead of the body. The mouth is told to gargle, so that we can speak well, the ears are washed to hear good words, the eyes also so as not to see the dirty, as soon as it continues to the feet. Because cleaning the dirt from the cloth or body is easy, just wash away. However, clearing the heart and soul of pride, arrogance and arrogance is hard.”*

I nodded in understanding, Jenar's explanation was easily digested. Without patronizing and preaching.

“So with wudlu, it is expected that all the ugly properties melt, for?” I try to draw conclusions from Jenar's explanation.

The girl nodded, “Usually we wudlu when going to perform prayer or teaching, so it should be in a state of complete holiness, no arrogance when facing divine.”

“Anything cancels wudlu, other than the one you mentioned earlier?” I want to know a lot about holiness in Islam.

“Vomiting, loss of consciousness, discharge of blood and pus, touching *******, laughing loudly, eating camel meat, bathing a corpse, hesitating while berwudlu and other things that require bathing. In addition to the above I have mentioned, the release of hadas from ******* and contact with non-mahrom.”

Jenar explanation actually makes me have to be this new science, “So eating can also break the fast? Then the thing that requires a shower means how?”

I saw a thin arch on Jenar's lips, a sweet smile that calmed the soul.

“I replied the first one first, yes, sir. A meal when it is wudlu will leave dirt in the mouth, this can be removed by drinking water. However, if eaten is camel meat then it is mandatory to repeat the wudlu. This is as mentioned in the historical hadith of Imam Ahmad, ‘Berwudlu for eating camel meat and you are not asked to wudlu for eating mutton’. Like that, Mr.”

I'm mangosteen. Jenar then continued the discussion that seemed to be this long, “For the second question, the thing that canceled the wudlu because of the obligation to take a shower. For example after berjima’, semen out accidentally or intentionally, and infidels who converted to Islam.” Jenar lowered her head after finishing the sentence. Just one word I don't understand from the explanation.

“You said berjima’ can cancel wudlu because you have to take a shower. Jima’ what is?” I asked seriously, because only this time I heard such vocabulary in Arabic.

“Ehm ...,” Jenar did not immediately reply, instead especially in the submission. After a while, only he answered softly, “Jima’ was a husband-wife relationship, Mr.”

My mouth automatically forms the letter ‘O’ without sound. It seemed like Jenar was embarrassed to explain words that might be taboo among this innocent girl like her. However, I am not satisfied with the information.

“So after sex husband and wife is obliged to do wudlu?”

Jenar nodded, then replied softly, “Must take a shower too, Mr.”

“Oya, earlier you said contact with a non-mahrom also cancel the wudlu. What is mahrom?” while someone was invited to the discussion, I did not want to waste the opportunity to ask foreign words that I just knew.

“Mahrom is an illegitimate person married, so not mahrom means a halal person married.”

Once again my mouth formed the letter O without a sound, the thirst for my new knowledge was felt. Genar is not just a soft-hearted girl, but is good at explaining without getting others cornered.

“So that mahrom means a person who cannot be married, sir.” Jenar repeated the explanation with a simple sentence.

“For example, who should not be married?”

Jenar raised her index finger, then pointed at her own nose, “For example, which is my example. Siblings, one mother-one father, one mother only or one father only, siblings, nieces either from brothers or sisters. Father brother and mother, stepfather, stepson, father-in-law, son-in-law. Cousins can also be mahrom if there is a relationship of nasab or entanglement. Like me and Mas Irkham, mahrom because it used to be Sari budhe breastfeeding Kak Nessha.”

“So if for example you come into contact with them, then do not cancel wudlu?” the conclusion I can draw from Jenar's explanation.

“One stop, Sir. I can shake hands with them without worrying about canceling the wudlu. Because, they are my mahrom.”

I'm mangosteen. While chatting lightly, we continued down another hallway, a collection of children's fairy-tale-themed books lined up neatly on the shelf, starving the viewing eye.

“Worthy of the time I held your hand the other day, you were instantly angry. Because it has to be wudlu again, yes?” I am reminded of what happened a few days ago.

“Well! Because of Mr. Hara at that time I missed reading one juz during the trip to campus.” Genar grumbled. Even so, he also added an explanation, “If we touch, my wudlu is off. Because we're not mahrom.”

“Oh, so we can marry, dong?” Jenar stopped her steps, turning to look at me with her sharp look. I felt wrong, why did he look offended?

“Say we are not mahrom, so can ni-” I hung up a sentence after realizing something. I immediately rectify the greeting, “Sorry, I mean just want to emphasize that not mahrom means marryable.”

Jenar reviews a thin smile, then discards the face. Awkwardness dominates the atmosphere between us again, silence is the best choice to muffle all feelings in the heart. Rows of shelves displaying books with various titles became a background of silence, we were immersed in each other's thoughts. My mission this time is not only to search for books, but also to seek peace of mind on a belief that is still gambled.

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Seriate....

This chapter of the review does not know why for a long time, maybe because there is a discussion of religion. I've edited it many times for a long time. Hope not to wait, hehe. Happy reading.

*Taken from a quote submitted by MH Ainun Najib.