Tidying Up Asa, Inviting Hidayah

13. Friends of different levels.

...🌸Do not step without blessing, because one do’a diijabah Alloh is do’a from parents, especially mothers for their children.🌸...

Rinjani Jenar Adhitama's.

Studying at the same campus, although different levels and different majors, Ghufron and I met almost every day. Sometimes he would ask me to accompany him to look for references in the library, lunch in the cafeteria, discussion of organizational issues, or just a light conversation with our friends.

Ghufron never did anything romantic like giving me flowers or chocolates. Maybe he knew I couldn't eat chocolate, my teeth would automatically wear out and hurt if I ate chocolate.

What Ghufron did was trivial. Like asking me muroja’ah, reminding me of sunna fasting, or a discussion about many things. Mas Ghufron every night always asked me, whether I have prayed isya’ or not. So I pray isya’ more timely. Because he'll be very angry if I delay the prayer.

This afternoon we were having a light conversation at the campus mosque. My lecture schedule was completed on time, I decided to pray at the campus mosque. It turns out Ghufron was there too. So after the prayer, we talked in the hallway of the mosque, instead of going straight home.

Mas ghufron said that if Nalini's writing was accepted by the publisher, it had entered the print process. Ghufron's sister is not only beautiful and graceful, but also smart. Many of his writings have been published in newspapers and magazines. Now Nalini's writing has caught the publisher. Amaze me.

“Nalini great, yes, Mas.”

“Not only he's great, Nduk. But do’a parents, especially mothers are also influential. So Nalini can find luck, her writing is translucent to the publisher.”

“You can also ... greater than Nalini instead. Because everyone has their own talents, Nduk.”

“Ehm .. I don't think you have any talent, deh, Mas.”

“Masa? Try searching first, must have.”

I was silent, glaring. Trying to tidy up in myself, but not finding the advantages like others have.

“Not there, Mas. Music I can't, sports don't like, art moreover..no talent blas.”

Ghufron laughed, but he laughed. As usual I blushed to see Ghufron's cheekbones bulging as he laughed. Made me look down, hide the face I thought was red.

But I held my head up again, for the voice of Ghufron stopped by my ear, “for sure you have, Nduk. Your voice is good, you know. Ever learned qiro’ati yet? Maybe you have talent there? Your memory is also good, can memorize quickly.”

I shook my head, “soo ordinary, Mas. I used to learn qiro’ati, but because I was bored so I did not continue in.”

“Nah!” A little surprised me because Ghufron mas exclaimed in a loud tone of voice, “that is one of your weaknesses, Nduk. You get bored quickly if you do something, so you rarely finish.”

“You are the type of person who does things not because you like it or not because you want to achieve the best results. But just do it. Though something done on the basis of likes and intentions insyaalloh the result will be good, Nduk.”

“As you learn, try to aim to achieve something, not just because of obligation. Suppose you learn the theory of cutting the umbilical cord, but aim because one day you want to help people. Not just because of obligation. It must have felt different.”

I hear all the nassehat mas Ghufron. He never did anything romantic, never took me private diner, candle light diner, or anything like in the drama that I often watch.

But for me, Ghufron did amazing things that made me feel more confident and excited about life.

Other men may prefer to play cat-kissing with parents, if you are assessing girls. But Ghufron immediately took me to his house, met his parents.

Also every time I take me away, Ghufron always pick me up at home and say goodbye to Dito or his wife. Once I forgot not to say goodbye, Ghufron was just angry and at that time also asked me to call Dito's cell phone.

“Do not mind yourself. Here, Om Dito is your guardian. Your father's successor, so if anything happens to you, he's partly responsible. Don't let your negligence make it difficult for Dito. Understand, Nduk?”

A trivial thing but it can be so complicated because Ghufron explained the causes and effects that arise only because I forgot to leave without saying goodbye. Since then, I have never left without saying goodbye. Even if only to the stalls near the house. Ghufron said not to make parents worry, then su’udzon about what I do.

Ghufron is not the most perfect man, but at least he always tries not to break the norm. Be friends with me as well. Even though he once said he was interested in me and wanted to propose to me, but did not then do his own thing.

He lives in principle, will not touch if it is not yet valid. Nowadays many people just know how many months, then say love, uh has fumbled. Astarghfirulloh.

We are not young teens who are labile and easily seduced by Satan's sweet seduction. Although we are not the children of a cleric, but we have a religious basis, have a place of refuge from all sins.

The most important thing is that we always put our parents' blessing first, in everything we do. Like Ghufron who introduced me to his parents. I also introduced Ghufron to my father and mother. Although new online (video call).

Although my guardian while in Jogja is Dito, but my father and mother should know all about what I do. Distance is not a barrier for me to always be filial.

That afternoon, Ghufron said he wanted to take me on a trip with his family to celebrate Nalini's book in print. Even the book has entered pre-order lists on several platforms.

I could have just refused or agreed, but I realized, something will not go smoothly without blessing. Therefore, in addition to asking permission to Om Dito. I also contacted my father and mother in Surabaya.

I did a video call with my father and mother with Ghufron as well. Today's advanced technology can make phone calls or videos with more than two people. You can even make calls with group members at once.

This is the first time Ghufron has spoken to his father and mother, even face-to-face online. Father and mother as usual, always friendly to welcome anyone my friends, including Ghufron mas

While Ghufron, do not ask, he is used to interacting with various characters of people. So you can bring yourself well when talking with your father and mother.

“Assalamu’alaikum, Sir, Bu,” mas Ghufron voice so calm when greeting father and mother.

“Wa’alaikum salam ..” father and mother replied in unison. They stared at each other for a moment, then returned to focus on the screen.

“How are you, Sir, Bu?” Ghufron made small talk before expressing his intentions.

“Alhamdulillah we are good and healthy. You guys how are you there?”

“Alhamdulillah healthy, good.” Ghufron and I answered almost simultaneously.

Then I introduced Ghufron mas to father and mother, “Mother, father .. This is Ghufron mas that the other day Jenar told me. Ghufron wants to say something to father and mother.”

Subsequently the chatter was dominated by Ghufron mas and father. They both seemed to connect talking about tourist attractions in Jogja and cameras. Maybe because of the youth of the father lived in Jogja so it can be suitable to talk to Ghufron mas. While my mother and I occasionally chimed in, entered into the chat.

Because Ghufron frankly asked permission to take me away politely. Also because Ghufron mas said we went not only together but with Ghufron and Nalini's parents. Mom and Dad allowed it. With a lot of advice and advice given.

“Mother permission, but you must know yourself and take care of yourself. Know yourself if you go out with others, keep your manners. Take care, because you go with men not mahrom, do not do things outside the limit,” that's your advice. The number one woman who is always worried about her children.

“True, remember. Mom and Dad can't see you doing anything there. But Allah Maha Seen, do not worry about the anger of father and mother. But be afraid, if Allah is angry with you.” See, right? My father is getting older, the more he goes through, the wiser he thinks.

Among the three brothers, I am the most obedient to my father and mother. Like the word if father and mother ask us to go somewhere, only I do it without asking much.

So if father and mother do not allow me to participate in Ghufron excursion I will obey. But it turns out that father and mother allow. It was the first time they let me go out with strangers, not family.

The planned time has arrived. Mas Ghufron and his family picked me up early in the morning. After meeting with Dito and his wife, we left. Using a car a million people in silver, splitting the streets of the city of Yogyakarta is still empty.

The sun peeked out from behind the mountain merapi, slowly its rays peeping through the cracks of office buildings and shops along the way. Light up the asphalt road, hit the passing vehicle.

Cold air slowly warms, as the sun rises. The road is getting crowded smoothly because the volume of vehicles is increasing. A beach on the mountain of kidul became our destination. Ghufron said we will travel to a place that has not been known by many people, so we can be satisfied refreshing later.

By noon, when the car slows down because it enters the road uphill mountains. From the smooth asphalt road though not too wide, then change through the village road that has not been paved at all. Still dry ground rocks.

“Great path, Mas. There's no other way? Can leak, nih, car tires.” Nalini, who had been seen as a calm and graceful girl, was now grumbling along the rocky path.

“Iya, Ghuf. You how to find the route, really, the path is so ugly?” Ms. Nuning, Ghufron's mother, blamed the driver. Who else if not Ghufron.

In the car it was just me and Haryo sir who were silent. No grumbling let alone blaming Ghufron. Of course I hesitate, although it does feel uncomfortable because it passes through ugly streets that cause cars to sway when driving. Makes the head feel dizzy and stomach nauseous.

“you rest easy, later you will be stunned after arriving at the destination. As the saying goes, it is necessary to pass through a steep rocky road to get to a beautiful place.”

Mr Ghufron stopped the car in a field surrounded by corn fields. There is a building similar to a house there, occupied by a middle-aged father.

“This is the gate!” Ghufron exclaimed as he got out of the car.

I looked in all directions. Not like the entrance of a tourist spot like I imagined before. What astonished me the most was that I did not see the beach from where I was standing.

“It is better to rest here first, while waiting for dluhur time.” Mr. Haryo gave advice while pointing a direction, “said Ghufron his beach there, must walk to it.”

We all agree. Sitting in for hours in the car and enjoying the sensation of a thousand wave road, no doubt makes the body feel uncomfortable. Taking a break by sitting for a while enjoying a light breeze blowing is a good idea.

“It will sit while eating, so that later it will not be hungry when playing on the beach.” Seloroh mas Ghufron while taking dishes that have been filled with rice and side dishes, “eat a lot.”

I sneer, “many meals can be fat.”

“Ngak too, Nduk. Nalini eats a lot, but that's all.” Mas Ghufron refuted while joking.

“Kok so I got it?” Nalini grumbling.

We all laughed. It impressed me with the warmth of the Ghufron family. He did not hesitate to show affection to his sister in front of everyone. Nor would he hesitate to show his respect to the old man in front of me.

After the dluhur prayer, we followed the Ghufron mas who walked ahead. Passing the path between the expanse of corn orchards that have just been planted. We walk with the formation of the young guarding the old.

Nalini in front of her father, then I walked behind Nuning's mom. Sigap sustain, when bu Nuning stepped up. Although actually the terrain we went through was not so steep and difficult.

I can't not be stunned. The first time my feet touched the white sand, between the rocks. Beautiful natural scenery, beautiful and still not much touched.

Ghufron is right. This place is so beautiful, there are not many visitors. Maybe because it is located behind the hill, so it has not been touched by the tourism office. The owner of the parking lot house said, this place is managed by the village, not many know this place. Like a private beach, because we're just in this place.

A white sand beach with rock cliffs on its right left. The wind blows breezy, rolling the waves, breaking the reef. The nyiur tree swayed, like my veil waving.

Ghufron and I sat on the sand, enjoying the beautiful scenery. Such an incredible gift. I never imagined being able to travel this leisurely, being able to enjoy the scenery freely like this. Without the distraction of many people, it is really an essential refreshing.

“Like no? Nice, right?” Ask the Ghufron. We both stared at the waves rolling from the sea towards the edge.

I'm nodding. Near the shoreline, I saw Nalini, Mr. Haryo and Bu Nuning standing. Deliberately waiting for the waves that will hit their feet.

“You see, that rock?” mas Ghufron pointed at a large rock in front of us. I followed the direction of her index too.

“Have known he would be eroded for a long time if constantly hit by the waves. But the rock didn't move, stay there.”

I laugh a little, funny parable in my opinion. Of course the stone will not move. Stone, right, inanimate. How do you move places? Can a stone walk?

“The rock is indeed an inanimate object. But we can learn from that rock.” Ghufron like know what I'm thinking.

I frowned, taking my eyes off the rock that was hit by the waves. “What kind of lesson can we take from that stone, Mas?” I asked full of curiosity.

“Lilo, legowo .. sincere in the most sincere level.” Ghufron looked ahead. He always did, never looked at me for long.

“What do you mean? I don't understand.”

“Gini, Dik...," ghufron tilted to begin his explanation.

"The rock teaches us a sincerity. When we are in pain, but can do nothing. Then all we can do is lilo lan legowo. Reliable and sincere, most sincere. Legowo in the sense of accepting all that Allah set unconditionally, without but.”

I was still thinking, digesting every word for word spoken by the Ghufron mas. The rock can not move anywhere, so what can be done is resigned. Though the stone knows, if it is constantly exposed to the waves for a long time it will be and eroded, habi.

“Mas! Jenar Ma'am! Right here! Ojo placements wae!” (Don't just date.)

Nalini's screams made me and Ghufron laugh. Ghufron reached into his pants pocket to get something out. He gave me a flash and an R-shaped pendant.

“Jaga is fine, yes!" Ghufron is serious.

"Whoever you marry, please wear the locket. Make sure I'm there, to congratulate or congratulate.”

“Mas by what, anyway?” I stared at the item Ghufron gave me over my palm. Suddenly a bad feeling spread.

“We can make plans, but Allah determines.”

“But, Mas-”

“We may choose with whom we fall in love, but cannot decide with whom we mate.”

I stood up, patting a skirt full of beach sand. Wagging it so it doesn't stick too much. While Ghufron's mas already walked ahead of me, making me have to extend a step to catch up with him.

“Why suddenly love this flash disk and pendant, also hunker like that to me?” I asked when I reached out.

“Yes, let one day if you are in the position of the stone, then you see the locket you remember my words earlier. More can legowo, yes, Nduk.”

"If the flash disk contains inspirational stories, I have summarized it into a folder. Let's make it easy to read it, let's get you excited about life."

“Thank you, yes, Mas. Always wise to see things. Admire me for you, mas.”

“Don't be too amazed, later can't turn away, loh.”

I took a pinch of sand, I threw it at Ghufron. He dodged, made me throw him back. We both laughed, a very loose laugh.

This was the first time I sat alone with Ghufron, the first time I joked with him. And for the first time in a day I was with Ghufron and his family.

"According to the mas, we can be a soul mate no?" I asked as we sat together.

Mas Ghufron shook his head, "mas does not want to precede the will of Allah. We're just dealing with the scenario, yeah. Importantly, my thesis was accepted, I immediately brought my father and mother to your house."

"If we don't match, can we still be friends?"

"Insyaalloh, once a friend remained a friend. A relationship like ours will forever be a friend, just a different level."

"meaning?"

"Yesterday's an ordinary friend, after ta'aruf had risen to become a close friend. Later if you are married also remain a friend."

"Lho's? I'm married, I'm still a friend, Mom?"

"Yes, yes, Nduk. Bedmates, co-lives, halal friends are taught how to do it."

I thinned my lips withstanding a smile. Ghufron could have made a level of friendship.

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Seriate....

Note :

Photo credit: author's personal collection.

Friends ....

Happy Eid al-Adha, yes. Learn from Abraham's sincerity and the obedience of Ishmael. May we all always be in Allah's protection. The pandemic is soon over, the sick are immediately given a cure, the distress is given patience.