The Malang Widow

Deri is gone

"I see your face getting pale? Maybe you need a break...Go to sleep first, and then work again.. ". Said Deri who was looking at me in a pityful feeling. At the time, she thought I was tired from lack of sleep.

"Hmmm". My heart in a flat tone. My heart warmed up after I read Lani's message. But as much as possible I hide so as not to mess up the atmosphere of joy of my children.

"Tock...Tock....". There was the sound of knocking on the door from the outside which immediately saw footsteps coming inside.

"Mother Flowers, please go to the pharmacy first because there is a medicine that must be redeemed. Here's the prescription, please get the cure, ma'am, we'll wait...". Said a nurse who instantly made me stand up and rushed towards the dispensary.

Deri, who had just put the kids to bed, ended up sitting next to my labtop, which I apparently forgot to close. In a moment, Deri intended to clear up some of my books that were scattered on the table. Then he also intended to turn off my labtop so that after coming home from the pharmacy later I could rest.

When his hand began to touch my labtop screen, his net was accidentally fixed on the writing I had just read. His forehead frowned at a glance at a message that seemed the name of the sender was Lani.

His eyes were staring at the screen. He looked carefully to make sure that the name of the sender of the message was really Lani. Slowly his hand touched the message opening button with his fingers starting to shake.

Word by word in the message he read slowly with his heart beating ever faster. He continued to read Lani's written sentence until his cold sweat poured out all over his body.

Sometimes he wiped the sweat that came out soaking the collar around his neck. He was so surprised after being trapped to read the contents of Lani's message. His heart that had once held a wound to him again gaped like the repetition of a wound incision that had been stretched out.

His hands clasped his fingers and swung them towards the wall to cause tremors. Several times he punched his fist that caused blisters on some parts of his finger.

So too with his head. Several times he hit it against the hard wall like a madman who was lamenting the regrets of fate. Before long he let out a long sigh to dampen his anger at himself. His body began to stand and his feet stepped towards his children.

Her tears were not held back in front of her three children. He looked at their faces one by one with a lot of guilt.

I'm sorry abi my children... Abi is useless to you... Abi's behavior doesn't deserve an example.... She muttered inwardly and immediately approached her three children and showered a gentle kiss on them.

Shortly after that he immediately grabbed his rangsel bag containing some clothes that originally intended to stay at the hospital. With a heavy heart, he was forced to go from the hospital to the city of Jakarta to meet Ferdi his best friend. His steps quickly he did so that not until I go to the park.

"Assalamu'alaikum?". Said I who had just come home from taking the medicine at the pharmacy and went straight into the room.

I was a little surprised to see Deri's absence on the spot. I looked closely at every corner of the hospital room, but all I saw were my three sleeping children.

I was even more surprised to find a bag belonging to Deri that was not in place. I tried to go to the toilet, but I could not find him there either.

I tried to contact him over the phone. But still the same as before, the number is now no longer active. I was more and more confused over his attitude that suddenly disappeared. A little anxious if later Uwasi woke up and asked his whereabouts.

"Huh??". My eyes glared at my labtop which I just realized had not turned it off.

Surely Deri has read the message from Lani.... Maybe he was frustrated... Or why?? Why did he have to leave without saying goodbye?? Is he angry? But.... I should have been the one who was angry.... "Huf.....". I murmured while sighing in my arms with an erratic mind.

****

Deris

As fast as lightning he took the bus towards the city without a second thought. His deeply troubled feelings had made him determined not to appear in his hometown again

Feelings of shame, disdain for himself, and anger mixed into one accompanying his journey back then.

"Elo Der?? Lah... Suddenly here no news??". Ferdi asked who was surprised to see the arrival of Deri.

"The cave hp was sold for a fee...!". He said with his face looking crumpled and tired.

"Trus why did you come here?"

"Please Fer cave, the cave wants to work out so TKI. The cave has already stopped Fer to do what, the cave already feels really useless for the cave children.... Fer Plis... Gua pinjem money first to leave, tomorrow if you have received the cave salary change....". Deri's sentence with a face look confused.

"Elo seriously want to go? Do you know the risk??". Tanya Ferdi tried to convince.

"Let's bet lives will also cave jabanin Fer... The cave does not know what else to do, the cave has no self-esteem anymore....". Said Deri as she laid herself on the sofa.

"okay... Ntar cave of makain. But if there will be anything elo must be ready to take the risk. Cave there canel people who can leave elo so TKI with spit and cheap fees, but illegal...."

"Yes cave ready Fer. Want illegal is also important cave can produce money... The cave must be able to provide a living for the cave children.... The cave is ashamed of the Flower which is now successful. While the cave works he mulu....". Reply to Deri with certainty.

After that conversation Ferdi began to contact his colleague who was dealing with the matter. While Deri fell asleep to unwind due to the long journey he took.

A few days later, Deri was finally sent to the State of Malaysia to seek fortune in the country. Without giving any news to anyone he left with a troubled feeling that continued to seep.

***

Meanwhile I'm trying to find Deri's whereabouts. For several times Uwais always asked where he was. While in the hospital, until now has been treated at home he continues to ask Deri innocently. As if there was a feeling of anxiety in him.

"Assalamu'alaikum? I'm sorry, ma'am, is Deri home?". I asked who was trying to track down Deri's whereabouts at her house.

"Don't you go with you yesterday??!". Her mother, Deri Ketus.

"Yes mak, but Deri left so alone without saying goodbye...". My husband tried to explain.

"Well.... Don't-don't because of you again Deri stopped, right??? You are always looking for it because of it...!!! Women are not really...! What did you do until Deri left??". Hardik his mother Deri to me that makes me only able to be silent without a word.

I who could not stand his attitude I finally decided to leave the house immediately. Along the way I kept wondering where the existence of Deri suddenly disappeared.