The Malang Widow

Pioneering life

"Der, the cave went straight back." said Ferdi after driving Deri in front of my house. He looked at her hand with a sharp look as if he was conveying his spirit to Deri.

Seeing Uwais running towards him, he immediately approached her in a warm embrace. The two of them took off their heavy longings. Not to forget he hit some warm kisses on his eldest son.

While Umar who had started to walk was also quickly approached him. The three of them hugged each other venting his longing and salinh clutched with a spoiled joke.

"Where are you?" greeting her who immediately looked at me while standing in front of the door with a pushy look.

"Alhamdulillah has improved." I said in a flat tone.

"I'm sorry... Because of me you guys so no one is guarding every time." he said while holding sobs.

"You don't have to worry, there is a God who takes care of us all the time." I replied in a relaxed tone.

"May I see my baby?" ask her with a curious and hopeful face.

"A moment, I went to the room first." said I who immediately stepped into my room to pick up my sleeping baby.

Soon after, I got out of my room with my baby. Deri looked at us with a haru look. His eyes glazed over at the tiny beautiful baby.

"May I carry it?" he said himself, extending his hand to me.

"Please" I said as I extended my baby from my hand towards her hand.

"Shanon....Hix...Hiks.." she said sobbing and hit some warm kisses for the baby.

"I'm sorry abi son... Forgive abi who can not take care of you when present to the world." he said while fondling his body slowly.

"Sit down... Can I make you some coffee?" my offer to him to relieve his fatigue after a long trip.

"No, let me make it myself later, you just rest.." he refused.

"Aren't you tired of just traveling?"

"But you're more tired than just traveling, right?? you gave birth alone, and now you have to take care of my three children alone... How selfish of me if I don't understand your tiredness." The words showed me concern.

"Well, it's up to you." I said, who then passed to my room and let my three children play with his biological father.

There was a cheerful voice from Uwais and Umar who were joking with each other full of excitement. Not one bit I want to join them, considering now I no longer have any relationship with Deri.

"Permy...Umi's... Umi is called abi...!" uwais called me after a few minutes they played.

Immediately I came out of my room and stepped towards them.

"I ask permission to take Uwais and Umar home... Let them take care of me for a while until your condition improves." Deri told me expectantly.

"Please, as long as they want and feel at home living in your house I don't mind..."

"Uwais wants to join abi to Mbah Uti's house?" tanyaku offered to my eldest son who was standing in front of me and watching our conversation from now on.

"Uwais doesn't want umi... Uwais is afraid of Mbah Uti... Uwais wants abi aja who lives here with us, so we can continue to play the same dedek Shanum also kayak earlier." he said with a spoiled tone.

Instantly I sighed my bed.

"You're beating yourself up, right?" I asked Deri who looked disappointed.

But Sanga Uwais just kept her head down. I look at him not to the heart if I have to seduce him, because I know my mother-in-law's treatment of him will certainly hurt his feelings later.

"Yes, if Uwais does not want to come, abi invite Umar...?" said Deri made a choice.

"But later Uwais there is no play loh bi... Why don't they live here?" with a hopeful face.

"Precious quais... Kan umi has often explained, abi can not stay the same anymore... Abi can only stay with you guys, but not the same umi.." I said trying to explain so he understood.

His face was bent with deep disappointment. He was silent and no longer wanted to say.

"I don't forbid it, but I'd better let the kids here... Maybe later when they are adults they will want you to take them anywhere.." I told Deri.

He also looked silent with a confused face no longer knowing what to say.

"After all, are you not going back to Jakarta? or are you taking a long time off?" I began to wonder.

"I don't work anymore..."

My forehead is a sign of wonder. But I didn't say much to him. I looked at him whose face looked worried and confused.

"Sorry, if later maybe I can't make a living for the children... But I'll do what I can." The words tried to convince me.

"Owh.." I said with a sharp glance at him.

How much money have you been giving to the kids? Is not the ration always less and should I meet their needs?? Hmmmmm.... I murmured in my heart that several times moved my eyebrows up and down.

"Yes, I beg you to say goodbye...Tomorrow I come here again." said Deri who had ordered ojeg online from the application.

"Well.." I said briefly.

"the Prophet went home first, son... Tomorrow come here again." he said to Uwais and Umar while rubbing their faces, not forgetting baby Shanum.

"Yes abi, but abi do not be long gone, Uwais wants abi to come here continue.." said Uwais whining.

"Yes dear.... Abi promises to come here often, more often than ever before" he said convincingly.

"Horay...!!" said Uwais who was excited to hear the news.

"Well, okay, Assalamu'alaikum?" he said he immediately approached the online ojeg he had ordered and waited in front of the gate of my house.

"Walaikumsalam.." we said in unison.

For a moment I thought about how I could meet the needs of my three children. While here I no longer dabble in the business world that I used to be in. Not to mention my busyness which is now increasing one more baby that I have to take care of and will take up a lot of my time.

I can no longer count on Deri for my children's lives. While in the past when our son was two he never met our needs, what about now his number of children has increased by one.

*****

"What fired??? What is the fate of your sister who is still in college??" her mother said Deri when she reported her condition at the time.

"I don't know mak, later I try to get a new job." replied Deri with a face full of annoyance and tired.

Instantly he went into his room and laid his body on his bed which was quite narrow. Several times he sighed while staring at the ceiling of the roof of his room. He continued to think hard to be able to continue to make money for the needs of his three children and younger siblings.