The Malang Widow

Check the pregnancy

Since the beginning of my pregnancy, even though I have never checked my pregnancy. Especially because I am a midwife who at all times can control myself, the state of the economy also makes me always undo the intention to check the pregnancy at adequate facilities.

That afternoon I was eager to see this child in my womb that was getting bigger. I set aside the money I had left to go to the doctor that afternoon.

With the syar'i clothes that have been attached to my body that I always wash dry, I walked through the city of Jakarta to the nearest maternity clinic that has SPOG doctors.

"The baby is healthy, the heart rhythm is good, the amniotic fluid is also enough, well.the general condition is quite good, just maintained his health only". Said a female doctor who was checking me forward back the ultrasound device he held.

"Alhamdulillah... healthy yes my baby doc?" I asked while staring at the USG screen with teary eyes full of haru.

"Yes, this gender is likely male if seen from its characteristics" he explained again.

"Male or female is most importantly healthy doc... God willing, I will gladly accept". I said as I stroked my stomach which had just finished the examination.

"This is the prescription vitamin yes, do not forget to drink, next month control again yes" said the doctor while proffering the prescription to me.

"Yes doc"

"Yes, didn't her husband come? is she alone?" ask the doctor who had noticed my arrival who was only alone, another with several other pregnant women patients who were taken by her husband full of spoiled.

"It just so happened that my husband was working out of the dock city, so I felt like I was alone". Reason brief.

"Owh, but pregnant women everywhere themselves are not good, next time try to invite friends, can anyone, as long as someone is accompanying, if there is nothing on the road how?" the doctor was worried.

I just nodded my head in front of the doctor. "Bismillah" I said in my heart hoping that nothing would ever happen that harmed my womb.

I took the prescription that the doctor had given me and a doctor's notebook that said my name and my husband's name was filled in with the name of Deri. Well, even though I have let it go for a long time, but it is undeniable that my race to him has not been extinguished. It's just my pain that makes me no longer look for her for my life.

Out the doctor's door, I looked at some patients who were about to have their pregnancies checked like mine. A few eyes looked at me as if it was strange, but I ignored them.

"Ah, if only there was a companion of mine who brought me to check like them, of course, at this time I am a happy person, but it's okay son... you must be a strong person, later if born into the world" I murmured inwardly as I stroked my stomach and walked towards the cashier of payment.

"Mother interest, 500k in total" explained a cashier to me who had just calculated the total check payment I had to pay.

"Hhhhhhhhh!" my sigh as I closed my mouth in shock. " O Allah, why is it so expensive, this is my money in pass, still make me eat too" I murmured anxiously.

"Yes, well, later I will confirm to the pharmacy to cancel the mother's order, wait a moment yes ma'am" he explained while leaving me in front of the cashier's desk.

I hope anxious was confused what to do, on the one hand I know the prescription vitamins that I have to redeem are very useful for the development of my pregnancy, but if seeing the condition of my money is not possible. Finally I turned my brain to buy vitamins that are cheaper only in the outside pharmacy.

"Bismillah, you have to stay healthy and strong, son.pardon umi who has not been able to give you the best.but we are strong jarus ya dear...." my words are always stroking my stomach with tears that do not feel rolling.

"Mother Flowers, please this bill has been reduced by the cost of the prescription, so the total is 300km.

"Yes, this is mbak" I offered the payment with a heavy heart, even though it had received a cut, for me the amount of money was very much for me who had not yet earned this income.

Moments after leaving the clinic, I walked towards a pharmacy I met on my way back. I bought some vitamins at a price that was cheap enough to replace the prescription of the doctor who had not so I redeemed.

The scorching sun made my breath gasp for a bit in the middle of my footsteps. Sometimes I wipe the sweat that pours out on my forehead and puff my stomach that starts to feel heavy.

Not infrequently pity eyes glanced at me memhatikkan me a pregnant woman who walked far enough alone. With a smile as if nothing had happened to me, I tried hard to continue to step regardless of the gaze of the person who had been staring at me.

Soon I arrived at my contract house. I offered my feet which had started to ache and swell. A little massage on my leg. Then I took a glass of water to quench my thirst and at the same time drank the vitamins I had bought earlier.

"Bismillah" I said before sipping a glass of water from my hand.

"It's healthy, son, even with simple nutrition, you have to be a strong and responsible righteous man in the future" I said as I stroked my stomach, which I now often do as my communication with my baby, whom I consider to be my daily friend.

I imagine his face that might be similar to that of his biological father Deri. Well, even though my life ran aground accompanied by Deri, but now I've got a junior Deri, who will complete my entire life.

Almost every night I chant the verses of the Quran while rubbing my stomach that feels I am rubbing my son's head. Wishing that my son might grow up to be a good son, far from all my dark life.

In addition, some religious books did not escape me to learn to change my life so that it is better and no longer fall into the seduction of obedience that makes me dark. The books I got from Rianti who eagerly loaned me a collection of books that he had been reading.

From it I also studied more deeply about the science of religion, making me more diligent in worship, both compulsory, and sunnah-sunnah that even since I rarely do. Even with my pregnant condition, I often do sunnah fasting, because I want to melt my sin, and at the same time save my food costs.

I always chant almost every activity I do now. My heart now began to calm down a little, steadfast despite the various storms I faced in my life at this time. Far from being as desperate as I was before I got to know religion more closely.