The Malang Widow

Hijrah

During that blazing day, my almost quivering footsteps, mixed with sweaty sweaty sweaty puffs continued to wander alleyways in a settlement that I did not know at all what the name of the area was.

Every time I meet someone I ask where there is a cheap contract. There were not many answers from those I had met since, but I slowly continued down each lane of the road. Not infrequently some eyes looked strange and suspicious, because I was a stranger who might be feared to make a noise.

"Okay neng, this is Jakarta, where is cheap rent neng, here mah nothing pay mah". Said one of the middle-aged mothers who was holding a toddler.

"Owh, yes ma'am, thank you, I'll try to find it again". As I continue to step.

The drop was also my vision felt dark, cold sweat poured down to wet my back and collar on my shirt.

"Bluk" my body fell to the ground and I can no longer remember the situation at that time.

"Neng...neng..wake up.." I heard a mother's incense in my ear. I slowly opened my eyes even with my head still heavy.

"It's a drink first" looked a middle-aged mother wearing a robe and a dark color wide hijab that thrust a glass of water for me.

Immediately I sipped the water to wet my throat which had almost dried up.

"Thank you ma'am" I said as I returned the old glass I drank earlier.

"Yes, if you are still dizzy rest first" he told me attentively.

"No, ma'am, I'm fine" reply me while looking at the corner of the room that is not wide enough with a thin mattress that I have since used to lay down my body when I was unconscious earlier.

"Eneng from where? why alone?" ask the mother again.

"I am from Bandung mom, here want to find a contract, because you want to try to find work here". My reply is still in a weak state.

"Owh, if you want to contract here anyway, so this is my yesterday the same husband, but since I just gave birth to a second child, so here the feeling is narrow, so here the feeling is narrow, husband ngajak moved back to the village neng, the rest of this contract is still around 2 months away, we can place it first, this is my intention here to return the same key that has a boarding, take my stuff that is still missing". He obviously got to me kindly.

"Sure mom, thank God I was looking for a contract, but sorry ma'am what month?"

"Kalo here an average size of 500 thousand neng, understand Jakarta anything expensive".

"Owh, this is the cheapest, ma'am?" ask again while paying attention to the room which is approximately 3x3 meters in size was cut with a small bathroom in the corner of the room and it looks paint the walls have been so dull look worn building.

"Yes neng, this is the cheapest, besides this there is no more neng".

"Yes mom, I want to stay here, but do I have to pay the rest of the contract last 2 months ma'am?" tanyaku.

"Ohh, it's not necessary, you use it is okay, later if you are here already working, only tomorrow can start the same payment that has a cost after 2 months". Clearly convinced.

"But, what about the same one who has a boarding house?" many doubt.

"Let's let me tell you if there's someone else in the same way I operat contract".

"Thank you very much ma'am, thanks for your help". I said while holding the mother's hand.

"God who has helped ease through me, hopefully it will be useful yes neng, oya sorry, I can only leave this thin mattress alone, hopefully it can be made just as delicious while". While he went to the house that had a boarding house to return the key and tell about me.

I am overwhelmed by his kindness. I didn't think I could still meet a good person like him. He said that soft and clothes that barely showed the slightest trace of his aura really inspired me at that time.

"Kring" came the sound of my phone shaking a sign of an incoming call. I saw my mother's name on my phone screen.

"Assalamu'alaikum ma'am?" my broom.

"Walaikumsalam, what else is it, son? No more work?" ask her as usual to know how I am.

"No, it's night service" I said a little nervously, oh I'm sorry I had to lie to you, because my circumstances don't allow me to tell you.

"Mom, later in the middle of Ramadan I have special training from the hospital for the appointment of employees, the time until Lebaran is also continued, I guess I will not be able to go home this year" obviously I lied to my mother that I had to do, because my mother could not know that I was actually covering up my pregnancy until later I gave birth.

"Yes ma'am, but later if the training has been completed maybe I can go home walopun not lebaran" answered me who continued to lie.

"Yes already if you want to rest, will you take care of the mallem, do not forget to eat?" reply last.

"Yes" I said as I hung up the phone I was clutching on my chest. Without feeling my tears dripped, tightness in my chest because I had to constantly lie to my mother. But I could no longer think how, while to keep my life I was helpless.

In this new room I began to organize my life, in a new environment that was all foreign. I was more silent in the room thinking hard how my neighbor did not suspect my pregnancy.

For a moment I thought about the clothes of the mothers who had helped me the other day. Before long I bought a dress complete with a wide veil, not expensive, I bought according to my pocket with the rest of the money I have to be economical until later I have income again.

Every time I came out, I started wearing those clothes, some eyes were staring at me no one suspected that I was pregnant with a fetus that was already quite enlarged.

"Ukhti, want to go kajiyan in Al'Amin mosque huh? with ana yes, because ana wants to go there but there is no cement, qadarullah there is an anti?" greet a young woman who may be less than a year younger than me, wearing a similar robe to me.

"Eeemmmm" I am unable to say just smile while continuing to step on the narrow road that does look a mosque that is not big enough in the corner there.

"Did you know, Ana Rianti, what's Anti's name? I guess they rarely squirm?"

"Aaaku Bunga" I replied as I looked down in embarrassment and even a little did not understand the vocabulary spoken by this woman in a broad veil named Rianti.

"Ohh, yuk Bunga we rushed to the mosque, it looks like kajiyan has started, we are a bit late". He said, holding my hand, pulling towards the mosque.

Without thinking much, I just followed his steps. After all for me, when else can I get friends overseas like this, let alone good friends like this Rianti. I murmured in my heart while hearing the voices of ustad who was filling the lecture.

Immediately Rianti and I entered the mosque slowly without making a sound so as not to disturb those who were concentrating on listening to the contents of the lecture. There are several faces of mostly young Muslim women sitting there. Some also appeared to be wearing a veil but were opened while following the study.

My eyes look strange lights that pay attention to the sound of ustad that turns out to come from in front of the mosque which only does not appear at all the trunk of his nose. Only a piece of cloth covers between the congregation and the ustad.

Smiles came from some of the congregation there to me. Looks friendly and simple. Akhwat his name, which is pinned on righteous women like here. It felt like I was slapping my heart at that moment. I don't know where the smell of hidayah could have brought me there at that time.

The scents where the creator warned me to repent immediately and approach him. As I listened to the talk of the Oustad, without feeling my tears dripping with shame on my God My Lord is the only one whom I have long wronged with this disgusting act of mine.

"Anyway, Allah is Oft-Forgiving, All-Receiving, for any sinner who repents, though sin is as big as the ocean is immeasurable in number" the statement read, to make a little bit of aversion to me who has been holding back my tears ever since.

"Anti why?" asked Rianti who was sitting next to me watching me in my cries.

"No Rianti, I'm not papa" as I wiped my tears that soaked my cheeks and looked wet in my veil.

How foolish I am to wear this taqwa dress only to cover my disgrace, while when I used to sin, it did not occur to me at all to wear this dress when it was my duty as a Muslim.

I looked at their faces one by one. They're clean, their faces are glowing, they're young and there's still hope for a bright future, not like me. Ah, if only I had known this study long before I sinned.... But I don't know, maybe it's my destiny...I murmured at that time with my eyes constantly beairing.

"Flowers, we see maybe flowers are in trouble huh? maybe ana can help?" Sapa Rianti among the Akhwat who were disbanding from the study. Some seemed to be chatting with each other, some were picked up by her husband to go home.

"Rianti, can I tell you a little bit about me? would you mind beating on me and taking your time for me for a minute?" I asked who I knew at that time I dared to tell someone, but usually I was very closed to anyone.

"Don't hesitate Bunga, just tell me what complaints anti, who knows ana can help?" he said a little by little I began to understand his vocabulary.

With teary eyes, I began to tell Rianti about myself. He watched my story slowly with a bit of embarrassment.

Although he was astonished by my words telling him about my pregnancy, he continued to try to encourage me and encourage my heart.

It is fortunate that I have friends like Rianti, I hope that I can get to know many other friends like Rianti.

Until then, I also did a nasuha massage. The figure of Rianti who kept beside me and gave me advice one by one made me more open to further religious learning.

Now I am diligent in coming to the kajiyan. One by one knowledge I get and can take me to live my life.