The Malang Widow

My mother died

Since my divorce with Deri, my mother has often looked pensive in the corner of the room. There is a heavy burden of seeing me with an enlarged pregnancy. It seems my hassles will be busy taking care of my three children with a small age and can not be separated from the attention.

The Uwais also often whines to express his longing for his ashes at night before going to bed. So even with Umar, although his tongue has not eloquently called his biological father, but it seems from several times his groan was so terribly missed the figure of his father.

I could only try to encourage them with a video call of her ashes to just treat their longing.

"I close first... Alhamdulillah Uwais and Umar have been sleeping.." said I ended the video call with Deri that we usually do before going to bed.

"Don't first... This time I want to treat my longing for the mother of my children." she said with watery eyes.

"Don't... Now that I'm no longer your wife, you're not that free to look me in the face." I object.

"Well, I get it, I just want to make sure that you and your pregnancy are in good shape... I'm sorry I haven't been able to live without you yet." the sentence closes the meeting in the video.

My tears were always wet to seep on the pillow I used for my head. My heart is not always the same as mine outside. Although I look very capable of this separation, but honestly my heart is crumbling dimly save the love for Deri that has been hindered by this divorce.

My days did not escape being the lips of the neighborhood gossipers around my mother's house. It must have hurt my mother a lot and kept weighing on her mind other than my circumstances.

"LT.....!" Call me in the morning when it starts to run home.

"Mother...!!" Call me back when there's no word from my mother's room that usually gets up first.

My bad feelings made me try to open the door to her room which happened to be unlocked at that time.

"Mother....!!!" I shouted that my mother with a pale face and her whole body felt cold.

My panic at that time made me immediately call my brother to immediately take mom to the hospital.

I put Uwais in my brother's house to be guarded by my brother-in-law, while I and Umar in my arms also took my mother to the hospital.

Arriving in the ER room, my mother was surrounded by many nurses and a doctor who was taking action and installing some tools.

"Mr... His mother seems to have a heart attack, we will do everything possible, hopefully it works." said a doctor who approached me who was standing next to my feet waiting for news of my mother.

"Do your best" I said with all the hope and prayer in my heart.

"Here let Umar I carry.." said my brother who did not have the heart to see my bigger content while I had to hold Umar.

Immediately I extended my hand to move Umar in his arms. Our eyes can not be separated from watching the situation of my mother. He was taken to the ICU room for recovery.

Those of us who could only stare at her through the window glass could only continue to hope for my mother's recovery. Imagining himself waking up in good health as before, then joking with his grandchildren as usual in full of joy.

A few hours we waited, and some nurses finally ran to the room where my mother was being cared for. The call of the doctor continued to enliven when the nurses were doing the heart-stirring action of my mother. My heart grew more anxious and thoughts began to slip that something bad was going to happen to my mother

I looked at her body in the crowd of nurses. A flat sound from the direction of the heart rate control screen indicates that the heart condition is no longer beating.

"Tittt........." A long line indicates the pulse.

"I'm sorry, her mother couldn't be saved." she said in a tone of condolence.

"Innalilahi wainalillahi.... Mother.." My sobs are with my feet.

My legs were sluggish as if in disbelief as soon as my mother left us after my father who had been called by God. I fell down with a body that was still trembling and held back my sobs that seemed to want to scream.

Soon several nurses left the room after cleaning my mother's condition which was now covered in white cloth. I tried to stand up and immediately saw my mother in the room.

His face seemed to smile and paled signifying that he was done in thinking about the world that had been weighing on his mind.

I'm sorry for weighing on you... May Allah accept all your deeds and blessings in the world... Hopefully we will be found in Surgha...Goodbye, my dear mother.... My words in my heart while looking at his face with sobs. As much as I can, I will raise my heart to let go of his fate which has become the destiny of this Almighty.

"Eyang....Why don't you wake up...??" uevais said in her tears that looked at my mother had been lying stiff on the hearse.

"Eyang uti has been called by God...Eyang uti can no longer nemenin us anymore." I said trying hard among the crowd of mourners in my house.

"Keep if Uwais wants to meet Eyang Uti how Umi???" ask her with a plain face.

"By way of prayer dear.... If we pray, Eyang Uti will feel happy in nature there." I said holding back tears.

"Why is God evil Umi??? Yesterday God took my brother, now God took My Messenger as well." Uwais's crying broke the atmosphere of the mourners at that time.

"No dear.... God is not evil.... God promises that we will all be found in Surgha.... We'll be happy there... Here hug umi.." My sentence tried to calm down and then hold it so that the crying subsided.

A few hours later, my mother was buried. All the mourners have returned to their homes. Now there are me and some of my family still gathered at home.

"Kring.." I heard my gawa. Immediately I picked it up and saw the name Deri appear on my screen.

"Assalamu'alaikum"

"Goddessalam..."

"I'm so sorry... I'm sorry I couldn't make it to mom's funeral." said Deri to me.

"It's okay." I said in a flat tone.

For a moment he sounded a long breath.

"Flower... I can't imagine how sad you are.... Take good care of yourself... You are now alone at home... I know your burden is getting heavier, especially now that you are almost giving birth." she said with sobs.

"You don't have to worry about my situation... God willing, I am ready to face all the destiny of God." My words show my strength, even though in my heart I feel inadequate.

"Dad... I know you're a strong woman... You're a great woman... I believe you can... May Allah always give you strength" he said before ending his call.

"Aamiin.." said I who then closed the conversation.