The Malang Widow

Approaching me again

A week has passed after Lebaran at home. I rushed to return to Bandung City to continue my work as usual. I should have been back there yesterday. But there was one of my friends who changed my schedule so that I could be off until the end of one week.

I took a bus to Bandung City which happened to be located only about three houses away from my house. A warm hug from my mother carried me before boarding the bus I was about to take. Hawa haru enveloped our farewells as she waved her hand at me who was on the bus slowly walking away from that location.

Soon I was at the port of the ship crossing. I also had to get off the bus that I was riding when the bus had entered the deg area of the ship, because passenger regulations must not be in the vehicle since there has been a ship fire and one of the most fatalities is the passenger of the ship in a trapped vehicle.

I who was leaning on the side of the fence of the ship that I was riding was suddenly flabbergasted when I saw the figure of Deri who was both leaning his body in front of the fence of the ship that was not far from i'm. We who look at each other in astonishment because we can not think together in one ship it feels awkward to greet each other.

In my heart murmured, we can finally be on the same journey even if only limited to the ship, at least feel homecoming together as he had promised. Deri who did not expect to be able to schedule his return the same as me just turned back to look at me who seemed to want to say hello but still hesitated.

I did not expect much to immediately throw my face as usual. Because now I'm used to thinking of him as a stranger I never knew. Netraku refocused towards the ocean waves. The wind that shook my hair slightly covered my face made me have to turn back and forth to tidy it up.

"Flower" said Deri who approached me.

Suddenly I was surprised not to think that Deri would greet me. I just kept quiet and threw a smile at him. A smile that holds full of honest longing, but I can't reveal it.

"You, how are you? didn't expect us to be with one ship, did we?" ask her while smoking her cigarette.

"Yes, it might be a coincidence" I replied briefly, without returning any questions from him.

My eyes immediately returned to staring at the blue sea which signifies getting away from the land where my birth is getting smaller from the eye view and increasingly disappearing.

"Are you alone?" asked Deri pleasantries who looked confused to talk but somehow started from where, plus his shame on me for not greeting me for a long time, and this time I was so cute with him.

"You want to snack?" his offer while giving me a packet of biscuits.

"No" I replied briefly, still focusing on the ocean waves.

Deri let out a long sigh, then before long he passed from me while saying he wanted to enter the cabin because he wanted to rest.

"Aren't you coming?" ask him if he wants me to come with him.

"No, I'm here" I replied without looking.

"Yes" he said as he passed.

Shortly after getting off the ship, I saw Deri who was driving his motorbike from the bus I was riding. Of course he did not see me who had been watching him from the window, because he was under the bus I was riding and there was no way he could look up to see me. Until we were separated at the intersection of the road to the toll gate, because Deri could not pass the same path as me.

The next day after I arrived and returned to my contract, as usual I also went to work to find the morning shift at that time. I was walking as usual through a contract with Deri who there looks like he is taking out his motorcycle to go to work too. I stayed focused on my steps without looking back at him, because I had gotten used to my situation ever since Deri turned away from me.

"Flower!" Excited himself while riding his motorbike trying to approach me who continued to walk.

"Yuk's bareng?" bring himself to me.

"No ah, I want to take my kog, it's deket, responsibility". I replied without looking and kept passing.

Then Deri passed by feeling disappointed. Seemed to be sorry for long silence me. But I have considered it the best, than I should have expected more of him.

Shortly after I did my chores my work my salary also rang.

[Flower, I'm sorry about you, because you've been so ignorant] the contents of Deri's message seem to me.

"Tok-tok" that afternoon came the sound of knocking on my contract door.

I who just woke up from my sleep after going home from work had rushed to open the door while poking around my body that was still lethargic. Even my messy hair I didn't tidy up because I thought it was just my contracted neighbor who might need help borrowing something from me as usual.

"Flower" said a man who was apparently Deri.

"Aaahhhg" sighed with glaring eyes as I closed my door again in shock and felt not ready to meet Deri with this still chaotic condition. I straightened my hair and tried to open the door again.

"Oh, you, why come here? tumbens?" ask me a little ketus.

"No papa, please, I haven't been here in a long time" while releasing a smile at me that made my heart melt.

Again, my heart was made to beat because of it. Though I have been struggling to forget it since he turned away from me, but now it seems to collapse again because of the sweet smile that I longed for.

"Bunga, pliss..., you promised never to fall in love again.plis...aware of flowers!!!""" I shouted in my heart.

"Aren't you told to come in?" ask Deri.

"Oohh, yes, here come in" I said while misbehaving.

"I took a shower, I just woke up" I asked because I wanted to avoid Deri for a moment and saw Deri sitting in the corner of the room contracting me while staring into the kitchen observing the kitchen utensils that had been lying around for a long time never touched.

"No need to take a bath already beautiful kog" said she seduced me who again made my heart melt, my cheeks flushed, and my heart became more and more ungodly.

"Hes, you are, this dreadlocks dibede-gedein" I said in reply while twisting my clothes so as not to look nervous.

"Have you been cooking for a long time?" ask her before I go to the bathroom.

"Yes sometimes still" I replied briefly.

"Owh, kirain since I have never been here you never cook again" he said while paying attention to kitchen utensils that mukai dusty omen never used.

"Yes, I'm sorry, if all this time I've been away from you, you're angry with me?" ask her while approaching and look at my face.

"Emmmh, it's Der, I'm not papa kog, forget that problem, I realize who I am. Maybe I had hoped for you before, but I also could not deny what my status was, and certainly very inappropriate for you who are still bachelors". I clearly lowered my discouraged face.

"So you really want me too?" ask her while raising my face by holding my chin.

I who can't say anything just silently looked at his face that so made my heart beat faster. Between happiness, but sadness because I was ashamed of myself who had promised to remove Deri from my life but I couldn't.

"Let's answer Flowers, why are you? you want to be like me?" ask him again, whose face is getting closer to mine.

"I'm not panting for you, Deri!" I cried as I passed into the bathroom.

I pulled my body from the top of my head without taking off my clothes to immediately flick my wish to Deri. Really.sunguh that time wanted it feels like I told him that I love him, and want to be in love with him. But my feelings are flailing inside. My heart feels at war with myself to immediately pull it off.

"Help me.pliss.." I whispered softly in the bathroom, which made me cold.