Me, What It Is

CHAPTER 46 ~ Determine Direction ~

Drizzles slowly fell down on the earth, accompanying the footsteps of those who were walking while looking down People in black clothes walked in tandem, heading in one direction.

Nico walks with a feeling of uncertainty, a feeling of loss, sadness and emptiness. Nico looked at those sad faces one by one. Slowly finding people he knew.

Nico tries to say hello to them but they don't care, they ignore him, they hate him, they blame him. Her tears flowed without her will.

Nico walked over with a heart that felt painful, those tears dripping down again. Nico rubbed the tears, looked at his wet fingers, slowly disappearing into an increasingly heavy drizzle.

Nico looked back at the people walking straight.

Why should I walk there ? where are they going ? What if I just turn around ?

Nico wanted to ask but no one cared about him.

Why do tears keep flowing ? why does this chest keep hurting ? why feel this loss ?

Nico stared straight ahead, at the wet mound of earth drenched in rain water, his tears changing in tears.

No, no way, Reana... Reana... Reana, uh,

Nico shouted the girl's name but there was no sound, tried again with all his might, still hearing nothing.

Why my voice is not heard, why they do not hear, why no one cares, I want to call his name. I want to hear my voice calling out his name.

Reana... Reana... Reana..

"REANA.." shouted Nico.

Nico opened his eyes, a clear grain falling from the corner of that eye.

"Loe is conscious ? thank goodness, thank goodness ? " said Ardi unceasingly grateful to see Nico open his eyes.

"Loe fainted for almost three hours" Dito chimed in.

Nico felt his body feel tired.

What happened, why am I here ? was I dreaming ? what kind of dream is that ? Reana, how's Reana doing ?

"Reana." he said suddenly immediately wanted to wake up.

Rommy keeps her best friend from getting rest.

"Your condition is still weak, you haven't recovered properly" Rommy said in a polite tone, recalling Nico who may still hate him.

Nico stared at his wrist that was stuck in an infusion needle. Nico gave a poignant smile as he recalled how brave Reana was to pull the needle violently while dehydrated at that time.

Nico held Rommy's hand, her tears coming back. Begging Rommy to let her meet Reana. He was very worried about her, he was eager to see her situation.

"The bullet projectile removal operation went smoothly" Rommy said, calming Nico's heart.

"really ?" he said he wanted to convince.

"All surgical procedures are going well, just waiting for the recovery period" continued Dito.

Nico was relieved, the man closed his eyes in thanksgiving. But still he wants to see Reana. He still wanted to look at the girl's face. Between believe and not, before seeing the state of Reana himself, the man could not believe fully.

"Nic, this is Reana's mother" Ardi said, introducing Ridha's mother.

Nico intends to sit but his friends forbid, With his eyes the man begged to be allowed to sit as his respect to Ridha's mother.

"It's okay, there's no need to get up, you're still very weak" Ridha said seeing Nico forcefully sitting down.

Nico urung sat down, resignedly talking to Ridha's mother while lying down.

"Mother here wants to apologize and also wants to see your situation, because I hated you, had blamed you, but your friends have explained everything, about your relationship with Reana, you want to forgive mother right? ask Miss Ridha.

"Sure ma'am, I understand mother's feelings" Nico replied.

"Alright, then you rest, then we can talk again, I have to go back to Reana's room" said the middle-aged woman with a smile.

Nico nodded, hearing Ridha's mother mention Reana's name her heart became calm.

Rida smiled at all the young children, then went to accompany her daughter in another room. Ms. Ridha is grateful that everything is fine. Reana's operation went well and Nico has now come to his senses.

At first Ridha's mother hated the man who had ruined her daughter's happiness. Nico takes his daughter away from a lavish wedding party that most women can only imagine.

Make her daughter leave her perfect future husband, even willing to make herself as a protector from the man who had ruined her wedding party.

Hate, I hate that child so much, after ruining everything the child cried regretfully, that was what Miss Rida thought, even though she did not say, only her eyes hinted at it all.

If the man did not cry like that Rida ma'am would definitely curse, at least that was his wish. Because Rida is not a blind person, the mother is calm but looks hatefully at Nico.

Nico fell unconscious there was a feeling of joy in his heart but also a sense of pity, because Reana, the young man was experiencing deep depression and sadness.

Rommy, who can feel the hatred, introduces herself as a person close to Nico and Reana. Who knows all the stories about the two of them.

Telling the true events, aided by her friends and Nella, convinces Ridha's mother of the true events.

Bu Ridha was flabbergasted almost in disbelief, the successful young man who was so polite was able to do such a thing, but after seeing for himself the state of his daughter, what was unbelievable. The man was clearly intent on killing the man who was taking his future wife away.

Bu Ridha regretted hating Nico even if only in his heart. After knowing the circumstances of Reana bu Ridha plans to visit the man who fell unconscious and apologize to him.

The indicator light has been extinguished, a sign that the surgery in the surgical room has been completed. The patient will be transferred to a recovery room. Without feeling more than three hours the lamp was lit and during that time Reana underwent surgery.

The surgeon's team came out of the operating room door, Ridha and the others immediately asked Reana.

"The bullet projectile removal operation went smoothly, the patient's condition is stable" said the doctor who was an invited guest at Reana's wedding.

"Thank you doctor, thank you very much for everything" said Miss Ridha, teary-eyed.

Everyone who waited for Reana to give thanks, felt a tremendous relief after being tense for so long waiting for the results of Reana's rescue efforts.

"Can we see Reana now, doctor ? " ask Shinta's mom.

"It can not be bu, because at this time the patient will be moved into the transition room. The physical condition of the patient will be monitored.

If you do not experience any complications after surgery, the medical team will move to the treatment room.

There the mother can visit the patient" the doctor explained.

The doctors left the patient's family, some of the people who waited for Reana was saying goodbye to go home, but they promised they would often swipe.

Bu Ridha thanked for the do'a and the attention of the people around Reana all hope that Reana's condition will soon recover as before.

While walking home they were unceasingly talking about the stressful event, they were relieved that Reana was finally saved.

Ridha visits Nico, the mother promises to apologize to the man as soon as Reana's condition is known, they finally meet.

It was late afternoon, Nico asked Ardi, Dito and Rommy to take a break home. The man also did not want his friends to fall ill because he had been waiting for him and had not eaten anything.

"Rom, sorry for what I said earlier, you all please excuse me yes" Nico said shortly before his friends stepped away.

Rommy, Dito and Ardi smiled, they fully understood Nico's feelings and they understood. They promised to be back with Nico soon.

Slowly the man walked out of the room, pushing his column, Nico walked to the nurse. Ask about Reana's situation.

"Patient Reana has just been transferred from the transition room to the treatment room, her condition is now still unconscious" replied the nurse.

After the nurse told Reana's treatment room, Nico slowly walked there. With a body that was still tired, the man did not want to stay still in the room fretting about Reana.

Nico stands in front of the open door of Reana's treatment room, a team of doctors are visiting there, including doctors who are guests of Reana's wedding invitation.

"Doctor Yudhi" said Nico who had heard the name of the doctor was called.

The doctor turned his head and greeted kindly, the doctor was surprised when he saw Nico's condition that looked weak while pushing the infusion pole.

Nico asked Reana's condition. Doctor Yudhi said that Reana's condition has improved, just undergoing a period of healing, during that time, Reana is required to reduce activity so that the scar of his operation will heal immediately.

Doctor Yudhi also advised Reana not to move much first, especially standing or walking.

"Hopefully Reana can be as healthy as ever" said Dr. Yudhi at the end of their conversation.

Doctor Yudhi implored himself to continue his activities, leaving Nico alone and fixated on looking at Reana.

The man shed tears, stepping near the weakly lying Reana.

Nico clasped Reana's hand, kissing the back of her hand. It feels like the man does not want to let go, forever does not want to take off the girl.

But Nico has decided to stay away from Reana. Nico no longer wants to make the girl suffer, Nico feels like a person who can endanger Reana's life, feeling their relationship is not God-sanctioned.

"I'm sorry Reana, I shouldn't have known you in the first place, I shouldn't have approached you, we shouldn't have been together" Nico said, sobbing.

Nico moved closer to Reana, kissing the girl's forehead long ago. Sad, just this time Nico kissed Reana's forehead with a sad feeling. It felt like the man was unable to let go of his kiss, because for him this was the last time.

"Goodbye Reana" Nico said, then turned to leave Reana.

Nico's steps stopped when he found Ridha's mother in front of him. Standing staring at him.

"What are you doing ?" ms. Ridha asked firmly.

Nico was fixated, feeling guilty, turned to Reana, then wiped his tears.

"Sorry ma'am, I'm presumptuous to kiss my mother's daughter" Nico said, feeling guilty.

"That's not what I'm asking, are you going to leave him ? after the sacrifice he made for you, you'll just leave him ?" ask Rida's mom in a high voice.

Nico cried sobbing, slowly sitting on the floor, his body felt tired, his legs were unable to withstand the weight of his body. Bu Ridha panicked immediately guiding the man sitting on the sofa.

Bu Ridha felt very sorry for him, the cry of the man felt so painful. But Ridha wanted to stop her thinking, not want the man to make a wrong decision.

Miss Ridha rubbed Nico's back lovingly. Nico is a man who loved his daughter, Ridha felt Nico was like his son. He didn't want the boy to take a wrong step.

"Why did you decide to leave him, what was on your mind ?" ask Miss Ridha.

Nico sat down while bowed down, his tears dripping one onto the floor, Nico wiped away his tears.

"I'm not good for Reana, I just made her suffer, since meeting her I only brought suffering for her, I couldn't bear it anymore, seeing her suffer because of me" Nico said, the man again shed tears.

"Do you think Reana will be happy if you leave, won't she suffer anymore ?" ask Miss Ridha.

"But I'm really not good for Reana, I'm not good for anyone, I don't want to happen again, I don't want to lose anymore, I don't want to lose Reana like I lost Angela " nico is still down.

"Who's Angela ?" ask Miss Ridha.

"My first girlfriend, she died of leukemia and now I'm so scared, Reana... Reana survived because I decided to leave her" Nico said, wiping away her tears.

"How are you sure about that ? whether or not Reana is safe does not depend on you" explained Miss Ridha.

"But I dream mom, I walk somewhere, which I myself do not know what I am there for.

I hesitated, continued it or chose to turn around, in the dream I continued the journey to the destination, but it turned out that the destination was a tomb and I felt it was the tomb of Reana" nico's story made the man sob.

Bu Ridha was worried to hear Nico's story, his heart shrunk, afraid to hear the end of the story.

"Frankly, I'm horrified to hear your story, if you're a selfish mother, you'd prefer to stay away from your daughter, you're also afraid of losing her.

But isn't that just a dream.

Dreams are images that the mind creates when we fall asleep.

You created that thought before you fell unconscious that if you stay with Reana, then Reana's life will be over.

It could be a form of fear because you have lost someone you care about.

You feel like the people you live with will leave you just like Angela.

I can't decide, you ask Reana yourself, what does she want ?" said Miss Rida confused, can not find a solution for them.

"How come ma'am, I won't be able to ask. I won't be able to leave her mom" Nico said, her tears still melting.

"Mama.. mama.." Reana's voice was soft.

"You're aware, baby, how you feel son" asked Ridha as she stood beside the hospital bed.

Bu Ridha looked at the girl closer and clasped her son's hand

"Mama, I. dream... see... mama.. talk to sister Nico" said Reana stammered.

Bu Ridha glanced at Nico who was still sitting on the sofa while squeezing his hair. The man was silent, not wanting Reana to know of his whereabouts.

Rida looked back at her son.

"Mama.. brother Nico. wanted to leave me" he said with my eyes.

Nico was shocked to stare at the girl from her seat. Reana couldn't see it at all, because the girl was still under anesthesia. But the girl was like hearing Nico and her mother talk.

Nico could no longer be there, the man had decided to leave Reana. He could not hear Reana anymore, he had to leave or he would not be able to leave.

Nico stood up and stepped out of the room. Nico is gone.

"Sir Nico." said Reana softly, Nico's steps stopped behind the door.

"Don't leave me" Reana said as if feeling Nico's presence.

Nico cried behind the door, wanting to walk away but his legs felt heavy. The man's hand was holding on to the infusion pole.

"Sir Nico. Don't leave me" said Reana, his voice increasingly clear.

Bu Ridha was crying, his daughter was expecting someone who had left, the mother was sobbing while holding her daughter's hand.

And now, Nico has decided, the man is steady on his feet.

...*****...