Me, What It Is

CHAPTER 33 ~ I Have to Go ~

Reana stared through the window of the bus she was riding in. It has been a long time that the girl did not feel the ride on public transport this one. Ever since Reana was taken forcibly by Mr. Malvin's bodyguard, Nico hasn't let the girl go anywhere alone.

Reana hurriedly wiped away her dripping tears. Of course he did not want to be the attention of the bus passengers. But the girl's heart still ached to see and hear things that surprised her so much.

Rebecca, it was supposed to be the day that Nico kissed Rebecca, if that happened, I wouldn't have experienced any of this. Sadness, pain and feelings towards Nico. I won't feel anything for her.

I will not have any relationship with her, whispered Reana still sitting looking through the glass window.

Reana decides to go to the restaurant, she wants to be free from the campus environment that makes her unable to breathe. At least in the restaurant he could feel a different atmosphere.

Reana steps into the locker room, even though she has left campus but her feelings never improve. The girl sat by herself looking at the ceramic floor boxes in the changing room.

Slowly her tears came back, Nella who had since learned of Reana's presence coming too quickly, was very curious about what happened. But Shinta's mother prevents the girl from approaching Reana.

Nella passed by with a sullen face, the girl momentarily looked up at the dressing room, seeing if Reana was ready for questioning.

Reana changed her daily dress to a restaurant uniform. The girl decided to find a job that could distract her sad feelings. Nella welcomes Reana out of the dressing room.

"Sir Reana why did it come faster ? why come alone, not with brother Nico ?" said Nella who immediately flocked Reana with questions that Reana actually wanted to avoid.

Bu Shinta immediately pinched the girl's arm, Nella grimaced, looking scowled at Ms. Shinta.

"Sick ma'am" said Nella with a spoiled face.

"Patience a little, let Reana calm down first. He came faster because he wanted to run away from his problems, but you actually made him, added bete, if he went again how ?

Later if the feeling is better you can ask him" explained Shinta.

"Yes ma'am" Nella replied, finally being able to understand the situation.

"Reana why Shinta's mom?" ask Mr. Gunawan.

"Come away sir, it seems like there's another problem" replied Ms. Shinta as she shrugged her shoulders.

Reana decided to help Ms. Nani, the fat widow with two children, was busy collecting vegetable waste and garbage ingredients that accumulate in the kitchen garbage.

In an instant the trash can was full, the chefs who were busy preparing the ingredients and cooking it could not have had time to clean all at one time.

Reana took the plastic containing the trash out and sorted it out. Put one by one into the designated trash. Plastic packaging waste, separated from vegetable waste that can still be decomposed, as well as garbage that can still be recycled.

Reana looks busy on her own, after her job of sorting out the trash is done the girl sits in the back yard of the restaurant.

"Why don't you sit in front, you're a waiter?" ask Bu Nani who came back with a garbage of vegetables.

Reana shook her head, the girl avoided it. Avoiding the restaurant table that Nico used to sit at when ordering food after dropping off or when he wanted to pick up Reana.

Avoiding his eyes from the parking lot where Nico used to park his car, or the terrace where Nico used to wait for him.

The man smiles every time he sees Reana coming out of the restaurant, holding her hand and opening the car door for her.

Reana blinked her watery eyes.

"Life is too short, son, even too short to love" said Bu Nani who suddenly sat beside Reana.

"If I knew he'd be gone, if I knew I'd never see him again.

I will never demand anything from him.

I'll let him do whatever he wants.

I will do whatever makes him happy, even if it is not in my favor, even if it is against my will, even if it will hurt me.

I will never be angry, I will always forgive her" said Ms Nani, her eyes teary in memory of her husband.

Reana was stunned to hear Bu Nani's words. Reana didn't expect that Nani's mom today was open to her. Bu Nani who is usually busy with his business in the kitchen is rarely met with Reana who works on the front.

Reana stroked Nani's back, trying to give strength to the two mothers. Ms. Nani smiled, feeling grateful for Reana's sympathy.

Bu Nani is the type of person who rarely speaks, but this time he can pour out his heart. Bu Nani feels Reana is a good girl who can be trusted, Reana is not a girl who used to talk carelessly to others.

Bu Nani pats Reana on the shoulder and goes back into the kitchen of the restaurant carrying out his duties.

Forgive me, brother Nico, brother Rommy, brother Dito and brother Ardi. Maybe someday, I can do it, but it doesn't seem to be for now, whispered Reana.

Reana returns to her duties as a waitress, Nella sees the change in the girl's facial features. Nella hopes that Reana will feel better so that she can ferret out what happened to Reana.

By evening Reana was as usual, Nella felt that Reana could be approached. Ms. Shinta shook her head to look at Nella's behavior. The girl's curiosity was very high.

Nella's got a hot latte coffee for Reana. The girl accepted with a sweet smile. Reana knew Nella was kind to her because she wanted to. Reana was ready to tell him, of course by sorting out anything worth telling.

The problem Reana can tell Nella is about an unknown girl who suddenly appears between Nico and Reana. For the third time the girl came teasing Nico.

Nella looks so serious listening to Reana's story.

Often the girl clenched her hands.

"Then it's not Nico's fault, why is Reana's brother angry with Nico ?" nella didn't understand.

Reana does not know how to explain it, looking for the right answer to the girl's question. To be honest, Reana was confused to compose a story that Nella deserved to hear. Reana does not want to be too fond of her personal story.

Seeing Reana who was just silently bowed, Nella felt that Reana was sorry for her attitude. In the spirit of the girl advises Reana to forgive and accept Nico back.

Reana just smiled in a knot, Nella behaves like a solution expert. The young girl's heart seemed relieved when Reana seemed to understand and agree to her proposal.

Reana's work hours are up, the girl is getting ready to go home, with Nella's spirit telling her that Nico has been waiting ahead. Reana turned around, she wasn't ready to meet Nico.

Obviously Reana can't forgive him yet. Reana opens her phone looking for an inter-passenger service app. Unintentionally Reana sees a notification of an unopened message, all from Nico.

The man had sent a message seventeen times. But none of them read it. Reana blinked her watery eyes. Reana saw Ading who was also preparing to go home.

The teenage boy sitting in the high school was forced to work part-time as a helper in a restaurant. He had to make a living for his mother and two younger siblings, replacing the duties of his father who had recently died.

Every time he saw the young man, Reana always remembered him.

"Ding, can't you join your motorbike? " reana asked, the girl did not dare to use the inter-service application because she was not used to it.

"Well, isn't Nico waiting for Reana's sister outside ?" ading said astonished.

Reana looked down unable to answer Ading's question.

"Yes, my brother, it's okay if you want to ride a butut bike, only if Nico's brother is angry, Ading should not be mistaken" said Ading, unwilling to force Reana to explain why she does not want to go home with Nico.

Reana smiled, they went home through the side street of the restaurant where the vehicles of the employees were parked behind her.

Nico looked at Reana who came home with a young man. It was clear that Reana still could not forgive him. Nico walked to his car.

Put his head down on that fancy car seat. A clear thread flowed from the corner of his eye. Only Angela and Reana can make it that way.

If Nico could be like any other man, he could easily move from one heart to another. I don't think it's that sick.

Nico grabbed his phone, checked the incoming messages. None of Nico's messages were read by Reana. Every time Nico called, Reana never answered either.

How long have you stayed away from me ? please forgive me ? give me a chance, Nico screams.

The man closed his eyes, calming his heart. Hopefully everything will be better later, clear circles back flowing in the corner of his eyes.

The next day Nico waits in front of Reana's boarding house, but they say Reana has been away since this morning.

Should this be how you stay away from me ?

Is this how you avoid me ?

Reana, is there no chance for me ? inner Nico, while stepping footed into his car.

At the Reana campus is also difficult to find, once the class disbanded Reana also disappeared. Still like before, Reana still does not want to answer Nico's phone.

Nico is desperate, his best friend Rommy, Dito and Ardi help give understanding to Reana. Reana still wants to pick up the phone from Rommy, because the girl's feelings for Rommy are like a sister to her brother.

At Rommy the girl quibbled busy doing her college assignments, because soon mid semester, all the tasks had to be collected. Whether it was the truth or just an excuse, only Reana knew.

Days change, Reana goes looking around, but Nico is invisible. The girl once promised to help Nico understand the Numerical Analysis course. He even promised to come to his apartment.

Although the girl's feelings are still uncertain, but the promise is still a promise, the girl wants to fulfill her promise, even if when she meets later somehow they feel.

But Nico is invisible, it's been two days. It's been two days that Reana hasn't seen Nico. The girl asks Rommy about Nico's whereabouts.

"You don't know ?

Nico didn't tell you ?

Can't Reana be ?

Nico calls you every day ?

Sending you a message ?

You, really don't know ?

Yesterday the day after, Nico left for New York to see his sick Daddy" Rommy explained by telephone.

"News.. York's ? New York City ? that far ?" reana asked as if she didn't believe Rommy's words.

"Mmm.. if calculated today, it means that his Daddy has been in care for a week, only three days ago he decided to leave on flight 17.55 should be at 08.50 was his plane already landing" rommy clear.

Reana.

It's been a week ?

Since a week ago his Daddy's in the care of.

It was the moment the unknown girl came near him.

Brother Nico instead of going to see his parents but instead comforted me because of the behavior of the girl, screamed Reana while covering her face.

I'm sorry, Brother Nico, I shouldn't have added to the weight of your mind, Reana cried.

Reana took her foot back to her boarding house. Unlike usual, today Reana chose to go home to rest, her heart and body felt tired.

Arriving at her room the girl immediately threw herself down. Staring at the ceiling of the room, Nico's reflection loomed over it. A clear thread dripped down from the corner of the girl's eyes. Not long after that the girl fell asleep.

Reana woke up in the afternoon. The girl arrived late at the restaurant. His intention was just to rest for a while to unwind his body and soul. But Reana's too tired, a quick break isn't enough for her.

The result now he had to hurry to prepare himself for work. Half-run the girl down the sidewalk that used to be passed after getting off the bus that took her from the boarding house.

My sleep was too deep, there should be no need to go home, Reana.

Arriving at the restaurant Reana immediately met Mr. Gunawan to apologize for arriving late.

"I was forced to cut your wages Reana, that's the consequence you have to accept" Gunawan said with a serious face.

Reana was bowed down, not because of her wages to be cut but the shame of not being disciplined to carry out the task.

"We think you are sick, if you are sick, we can still understand but it turns out you are okay, you have to improve your performance" Gunawan said again.

"Sorry sir" that's all Reana can say, the girl resignedly accepted the restaurant Manager's reprimand.

The girl's eyes were glazed.

"Have it, enough, I was just kidding, this is the first time you are late, so far you are also helping a lot without asking for overtime money, do not take heart yes" said Mr. Gunawan as he passed.

Nella laughs behind the door, and so does Shinta's mom. Nella is satisfied with Gunawan's acting. All at her request to prank Reana. The girl shed tears.

"I think Mr. Gunawan is really angry" Reana said while sobbing.

Reana's tears are flowing.

"Already, already, how to cry gini ? we were just kidding" Shinta said.

Reana knew she was crying too much, she had no reason to cry but she wanted to cry.

Gunawan's reprimand was the reason the girl let out her tears because Reana could no longer hold it. The girl was crying over something else.

After her working hours, Reana prepares to go home. Ading volunteered to escort Reana, but the girl refused subtly. Basically the girl didn't want to trouble anyone.

Reana requests Ading to drive her home that time only to make Nico stop seeing her. And now the girl regrets her actions.

Setiba in Reana's room sat behind the door. Longing and regret made the girl unable to hold back her tears. All day Reana unceasingly blames herself for ignoring Nico.

Reana pulled the phone out of her backpack. Gently touching the heart-shaped mobile phone hanger that always reminds him of Nico.

Slowly the girl opened the messages from the unread Nico.

'Reana forgive me'

'Reana where you are, I want to talk'

'Reana I miss you'

'Reana please give me a chance'

'Reana'

'Reana'

'Reana'

Reana's eyes were getting blurred, no matter how many messages she read, all the words of the man made her tears not stop glistening.

At the end of the message the man said,

'Reana, I have to go, take care of yourself, I will miss you a lot'

Until there the girl could no longer just shed tears, the girl cried sobbing.

Forgive me brother Nico, forgive me, inner Reana while covering her face with both hands.

...*****...