Lara's Admirers

Episode 78's

　

　

I never thought the story would end on paper, without knowing who the author was. Eresha and Sendy are just a pair of characters who are in this story, following the storyline written by the author. I know that writer must hate this story right now. Just like me, who did not expect such a tragic end at all.

“Sister Rayhan there is a story about the same crisanthemum flower necklace is not?” I asked Arka with a sobbing voice.

But the answer I got again could not match what I expected. The man just shook his head slowly with a feeling of resignation..

“Kak Rayhan Just said that the stick you received was, adalh stick that he had been using for practice. Even until his appearance yesterday fitting race on campus it.” explained the man.

I quickly re-established my body position. I don't want to be constantly dissolved in this grief. Even though I still want to completely vent my emotions.

“Mending you go home first, I need time to be alone first.” I said then immediately left the man, without waiting for a response from him again.

With a step down, I ran up the stairs to go to my room on the second floor. It feels like my feet are shaking violently, making my balance not too good. I don't care about Arka or anyone around me right now. I'm sure if that man would understand my current situation, he would be mature enough to understand this situation,

‘BAMMM!!!’

I slammed my teak pin so hard. So that creates a loud pounding sound and makes objects around it vibrate slowly. My body was sitting limp on the tile floor, I hugged my own feet while sobbing. After being satisfied to vent all my anger, I immediately grabbed the thing on my study table.

If Brother Sendy gave me this stick present, then it means he has invited me to always be attached to his past. Though there are some past that cannot be remembered forever, because it has been consumed by age. To me this one thing is a curse to me. It stuck me in a song with an abstract beat that could only deafen anyone who heard the original rhythm. I hate all these songs so much, I'm sorry why we used to make this melody together.

I wish I never remembered any of that again. Losing all my memories from that accident back then would have been much better. I've heard a story about a girl and a boy. They were once and forced to be together because of a song they created. And now one of them has been stuck in that song for good. Slowly killing him with high tones capable of crippling him. And in fact, one of those people was me.

Perhaps the only way to escape the entanglement of that beautiful symphony, is to throw all this stuff away. I think that's also why Brother Rayhan said at the end of the video, if I can throw it away if you don't like it. Because indeed I will never like all the things given in the end. If I had known about all this much earlier, I probably wouldn't have touched or even opened it at all.

“But am I wrong if now I hate a dead soul?” my mind in my heart.

After gathering all my courage, I finally did this even though with a heavy heart. Without hesitation I broke the stick right in front of me at that moment. Besides why he gave me this thing, but Brother Sendy knows exactly if I can't use it at all. Only a fool would think that way. What is the point if only stored or displayed, if in the end it will also be a garbage. It would be better if I made it faster to become trash. But again there are always people who try to prevent me from doing this thing that I think is right.

“Sha!” say someone from outside this room, while banging on my door for several times.

From his voice, I knew who the owner of the voice was. Who else if not Arka, I know exactly with a voice that I always hear every day. I don't think Arka will catch up with me until I get up here. I told him to go and leave me here alone. I need to rearrange my heart, for someone human who can never be called that again.

“Come on, does he not believe that I will be fine in this alone.” grumbled me in the heart.

I don't know if that guy can't trust me this time or how. But I can guarantee my new words, he can hold my sentence earlier. Maybe because I have done too often what he calls reckless deeds, but not for me who just consider it as a matter of course.

I try not to cry anymore, because everything I'm doing right now is useless. With the feeling I made in such a way, to make it look tough. I immediately wiped away my tears that had made my appearance even worse like this. There is no point in crying over a person who has left, if with that he can never come back again.

I better not have to look for him now. Because I have come to the end of that long search. A road that collapsed in the end, and even worse, I couldn't find what I was looking for.

Go, I let you go, thank you for ever being in my life. You carry a million notes that we then compile after, then you leave even before the song has not been finished. Now I'll never ask you to come back. The local paradise is quite soothing not for you, it is even much better than life in a world full of frenzied.

I let you go, even though my own heart never really could do that. But I should be able to, because I know it's for the best. Now that your soul is in eternity, have a good rest for a long time. Even longer than bear hibernation when winter comes. You deserve it, after getting tired of struggling with this never-so-friendly world. Now I don't have to worry about you anymore, 'cause I know you're gonna be okay there.

“Sha, there is one more thing you should know.” said Arka from behind the door.

I wiped my tears for the umpteenth time, making sure everything looked like it was okay. That one I was sure was nothing and would have no effect worse than what I imagined. It won't change me much, I'm sure this sadness won't last. Just like withered flowers that must fall, to re-bloom.

Gathering all my confidence, I opened the door of the room expectantly. Trying to put up a smile that seemed a little forced. But that's okay, because some good costs do have to be a little forced to look perfect.

“I'm fine, we're out aja yuk.” I said to the man who had been waiting for me since.

“Pe-pe-go where? You are still sick.” reply Arka who looks confused.

“Wherever, I need a little fresh air after the bad news earlier.”.

“O-okay, yes I have asked permission with aunt first.” reply then immediately leave from before me.

I nodded weakly, saying his words. After that I immediately picked up the hoodie hanging there, I knew that the air out there would be too cold for me. Hesitatingly, I grabbed the quintom stick that was lying on the floor. Maybe after this I'll just throw it in the street, or better to go straight to the dump.

***

Because aunt said she had to return home before four in the afternoon, and we were also allowed to travel too far. So Arka and I decided to go to the park in this complex. Usually the place is not too crowded, so maybe I'll like it if it's there. Not a bad choice.

While waiting for Arka who was buying ice cream, I occasionally kicked a small pebble that was right in my depank. Although the doctor said I can't eat ice cream as long as it hurts, the rules don't apply at all to a stubborn girl like me.

I stared at the pair of quintom sticks with a glaring eye. I don't know what to do with this one. Maybe I'll throw it away or not. Why am I even so plin-plan like this, when my intention was this one was completely round. I really suck! Basic suck!

“This.” said Arka who suddenly came with a chocolate ice cream in her hand.

“Thank you.” reply me briefly, while receiving the ice cream cone.

“You are not sad after knowing about it?” ask Aka to me.

I glanced at the man sitting next to me. His eyes looked as if he could not wait to hear my answer.

“If I am sad for a long time, can he live again? It's not possible, is it?” my reply.

Although in reality it is, but I never thought like that at all.

“You never really know what our story is.” I said with a heavy heart.

“Thanks make the info.”.

“Sama-sama.” reply to him briefly.

After that, Arka immediately fell silent and only focused on her ice cream that almost melted because it was too cool to chat with me. I know that the man deliberately did not want to discuss this further, although there are still some more questions that he had not been able to ask me.

Quite simple indeed, but able to slightly treat this wound although not really able to recover again. Just stop by this little park, while eating my favorite chocolate ice cream. Little things that make me feel better. After feeling enough, Arka returned to drive me back home in time. This man had kept the promise he made to the aunt earlier. After Arka came home I was lonely again in this place. A palace whose inhabitants went nowhere.

***

Today I feel a little better, so I can get back together with them at the dinner table. Having previously only had dinner alone in the room, sometimes accompanied by an aunt or sometimes also with mama. All the families had gathered in that place in complete numbers. Including Stefani who today came home early, because he entered work early too.

“Sha, earlier mama had asked for a license to your school.” said mama in the middle of dinner.

I raised my head, which was focused on the food.

“Mama takes care of everything, so tomorrow you can go.”.

“Thank you so much ma.” reply me while chewing the leftovers in my mouth.

“Sama-sama darling. Mama hopes that everything is smooth and in accordance with what you expect.” explained the middle-aged woman.

“Good luck!” timpal papa who also added the words of mama just now.

I smiled a little at them all. Although a while ago my relationship with them had been strained for some time, but now everything has returned to normal as usual.

“Emang Eresha where are you going, auntie?” ask Stefani who looks confused.

This girl just listened to this little family conversation from earlier. But he never knew what we were talking about at the time. I honestly hesitated a little to answer the question just now. All this time I never told him about it.

“Tomorrow he has a test for the final stage selection.” mama clearly explained.

“Eresha participated in the selection of scholarships to study abroad, to South Korea.” continued papa.

“Overseas...” I said with a doubtful smile.

Stefani immediately stared in disbelief at what he had just heard. Even this girl also dropped her spoon accidentally. His mouth was wide open and still fixed on one real object, which was me sitting right next to him. I'm not sure if Stefani's in good shape right now. His change of attitude was not convincing to me.

“Lo serious want to study abroad sha?!” stefani asked while cupping my cheeks with both palms.

“I-i-iya.” reply me with hesitation.

“If you pass all the tests anyway.”.

This time it turned around I was surprised not mian by him. I hope this girl gets rid of this hand from me. The truth is, I don't like the smell because he just finished eating grilled fish with his hands. It is very fishy and tastes a little greasy too.

“Congrats!!” said the girl enthusiastically.

At first he did let go of that fist, just as I expected. But after that it wasn't at all and I never expected it before. Stefani hugged me afterwards, without telling me first.  Actually what this girl did was no harm at all. It's just that I don't like the filthy, disgusting state of his palms when they touch me..

“Book....” my inner self in heart with a resigned state.

I could only smile wryly as well as feel relieved, after he had completely moved away from me. Looks like I'll have to change my clothes again after this. I can't imagine what it's gonna smell like if you keep wearing it to sleep.

“Gue will be the best doain for you tomorrow.” he said with so excited.

“Hust dong!” my reply.

“But by the way I tomorrow won't be here for the next few days.”.

“Where are you going?” stefani asked with an expression that instantly turned flat.

“Must go to Bandung for the next few days.” I replied with a little doubt.

Again for the umpteenth time, this girl was again stunned and pecked on the spot. Everything I said just now was wrong. But I don't think at all, or maybe Stefani is just so sensitive.

“Clara left me out of town, keep lo also ntar leave me out of town. Keep sure abis it lo will leave me abroad.” whine the girl while stomping her feet.

Me and all the eyes that were in the room, looked at him with a difficult gaze to understand. But it was almost like a gaze that seemed to reflect disgusting. Actually he shouldn't have done this because I think it's too much. Not comparable to his age that almost grew up.