Lara's Admirers

Episode 103's

What does this old man mean? He said a lot of things that I wouldn't be able to understand easily at this age. Then do I have to wait until old like him, then I can understand the intricacies of the universe that sometimes often mislead this?

“You better get out of here as soon as possible.” said the man once again.

I don't know if he deliberately kicked me out of here or what. What's wrong if I visit someone's grave. I have no bad intentions either. Why would he have to argue about this kind of thing. I never understood the way old people think today. Including my own parents.

“But sir, I beg you please understand lah.” I said in a clear tone.

“What if I don't meet my friend here? He'll be very angry with me. He must have thought that I did not keep my promise.” I explained.

“You can wait for him somewhere else. Later if he comes, I will let you know if you have arrived here first.” reply.

“If I go and you say I've been in this place before, then how will he find me later?” ask me one more time.

“You modern-day children can definitely tell each other via mobile phone right?” he said clearly.

I tried desperately to persuade this man to give me leniency. But, it seems like he is too stubborn for me to conquer. All my efforts feel in vain. He stayed in his position and forced me to get out of there as quickly as possible. This old man always had a reason to make me give up on my efforts. He attacked me with all the words he used as ammunition. He didn't even give me a chance to defend myself.

“I beg you, do not stop me this time..” my inner self in heart.

With heavy steps, I immediately left the place as he had wanted all along. I wasn't even told what reason made him want to kick me out of there. His attitude towards strangers is impolite. Every now and then I kick the pebbles that block my path in annoyance. Even today I have not been blessed. Luck and happy days never seemed to exist in my life again. They only came for a moment, making me feel like I was at the top. Then roughly, it hit me back on the ground. They're all so mean, I can't say more.

But like I said, no matter what happens, I will still do what I want. Nothing will stand in my way, except God's destiny. Even I will not give up just because the universe that was originally on my side, is now turning against me. I'll stick to my plan. No matter if the plan will keep going or even end up in a mess. This time I will not give up.

I did walk away from there, but I still didn't stop here. I still didn't run out of sense to stick to my plan. If I can't get through these streets, there are still many alternative roads I can go through. Even if that means it must take a long time, because the route is much longer. No matter how it goes, in the end I will still get to something I want.

I know where I'm going. It seems like I can still continue to observe this place from a distance. Of course without having to take the risk to argue with the old man that one. Around here as I recall there is a cafe whose upper floor has a direct view to this cemetery area. Without a second thought, I immediately decided to go there. At least this time I can still carry out my plan without having to be caught by Ahn Yoo Ra and Amel.

“Can give me an Americano?” I told the barista cafe.

“Alright, please wait for the order.” reply.

I still have to use Korean. I won't be able to escape that language as long as I'm here. If I don't use it, how can I live until now.

Since I was drinking upstairs, I was still standing in front of the barista's table, waiting for my order. That's because they won't bother with your order. So inevitably all customers have to stay in place to get their own orders. After getting what I wanted, I immediately went upstairs and headed towards the open room at the end there. The size of this place is not too big when compared to cafes located in the middle of the city. Visitors are also not as much as cafes in downtown Seoul. But this place is still operating as it should. They never seem to complain about any of that.

I was sitting on one of the chairs that happened to be facing the cemetery. Maybe for some people, this is not a suitable view for a cafe. But it seems like people around here, or who often visit to enjoy coffee in this place is not a problem with all that. Because in reality I'm not the only one sitting facing the tomb. There are some people around me who look quite enjoy the scenery provided by this cafe.

“Hey, did I visit this cafe for the first time?” ask someone who was next to me at the time.

I just nodded slowly, saying his words.

“It is fitting that I have never seen you.”.

“I almost every day always come here. I'm even familiar with all the officers here. Even I reached a poultice with the faces of customers who had stopped by this place.” he explained at length.

“Oh, so yes.” reply me briefly.

Actually I don't want to talk to him right now. But he kept telling me things I didn't even want to know.

“You saw the funeral?” ask the woman.

“Iya.” reply me while nodding my head.

“Actually that place used to be not a cemetery.” he explained.

It seems like he has lived in the area around here for a long time, until he knew very well the history of this place in the past.

“It used to be school.” he said.

I was surprised not to play when he told me that. I can't figure out how a school can turn into a funeral. Something really surprising.

“I used to go to school there with my sister. But one day our school had a terrible fire. All the food that was there belonged to the victims who were not saved at that time. Luckily I got out of there at the time. But not with my sister who still remains confined in that place until now.” he explained at length.

“That's why I'm almost here every day, to look at it from a distance while remembering all those events.”.

I am concerned about the terrible events that happened to him and his sister at that time. He must have felt really bad that day. Moreover, he had witnessed all of those terrifying events with his own eyes. About how hundreds of lives were lost in such a sadistic way at the time.

“Then how can you stay alive with all those bad memories? Don't you want to get her out of your head?” ask me carefully.

“No, no matter how bad the memories are, it's the only last thing I have about my sister. The rest, all those sweet memories have been burned along with the blazing fire at that time.” he explained while trying to cover up his sad feelings that appeared suddenly at that time.

“Sometimes you have to try to accept it, to appreciate those who have passed away.”.

I nodded in understanding of his words. I can feel what he has ever felt. I also almost lost someone in our bus accident. But I don't know, I don't think I can remember his face clearly anymore.

“Why not go on a pilgrimage? Isn't that better than looking at him from up here?” ask again.

The woman seemed to take a deep breath. He looked so depressed and sad at the same time. It took a lot of effort for him to answer all my questions. I wanted to stop myself from getting that old wound open, but I couldn't do that to myself. Although I really don't want to make it even more painful.

“I can't do that.” he replied with a vibrating tone.

It seemed like the incident had really taken her by storm until she had experienced this kind of trauma. It must have been very difficult to live the days as usual again after that incident. There's always one thing that's stuck. I know if he really wants to live a normal life like he used to. Without having to burden his own mind with all that fear.

Looks like it happened long enough. He said that it used to be an elementary school for kids around here. Now if I can guess, maybe this woman is about thirty. That dark memory still could not disappear from his memory. Even in that long time alone, it had not been enough for him to dispel all that fear. The place was really like a curse to him. It turns out that not all of the saying is true. People say everything will disappear with time. They say a wound will heal with the passage of time. But it turns out that the laws of nature do not apply at all to some people on this earth.

I again threw my gaze at the empty land that now only contained lines of tombstones. Every now and then while sipping the Americano coffee I ordered earlier. I'd better finish him off before he gets cold. The place really bears witness to how cruel death forced everyone there at that time to leave his soul for good. I really don't think that such a thing ever happened. I think there's only peace here. But it turns out there was a great fanfare that ended peacefully for good.

Soon I saw two girls carrying lilies in their hands into the cemetery and headed to one of the tombs. I'm sure it's Amel and Ahn Yoo Jin. They must have just arrived at that place a moment ago. I can't see their faces clearly from up here. I don't know for sure whose tomb they were visiting at the time. But one thing I certainly know right now is if the tomb they visited was the tomb of someone who was one of the victims of the fire at that time.

“Is there anyone else buried in that place besides the victims of the fire?” ask me about that woman.

“No, as far as I know the place was made specifically only for the victims of the fire at that time to honor and remember their departure.” he explained to me.

“That means everyone lying there is a resident of that school?” ask me one more time.

“You're right.” answer briefly.

“That circle of fire just obliterated us.” he continued.

Up to here I can conclude if they were visiting one of the victims' meal. But I never heard from Amel or Ahn Yoo Ra about it. If it was one of their families, I would know about it. Ahn Yoo Ra was the only person who had settled in this place for quite a long time. He spent most of his life in this ginseng country. There's no way if that person was Amel, we even arrived at this place less than a year ago.

What they are hiding from me. What they do there and the grave who they go to. I need to find out more about it or not at all. I need to know if this is about me, too or not. I also need to know if what's happening right now has anything to do with my recent nightmares or not. Yes actually it's not a dream, but just call it so that I don't feel scared like day. It's so scary to imagine that it's actually happening in my subconscious.

To make sure that the two people I saw right now were Ahn Yoo Ra and Amel, I decided to call one of them. First, I tried to call Ahn Yoo Ra. But as I thought before, if he won't pick up the phone from me, just like a while ago. I decided not to call Amel, because I knew that he would do the same to me.

“I'm sorry.” say goodbye to that woman.

“Why is it fast?” ask him.

“Oh, the…. I have other business to finish.” My reply is actually just an excuse.

“Alright, be careful on the road.” he said.

I just nodded, said his words and then bowed my body as a greeting. After that, I hurried away from that place, to catch up with Ahn Yoo Ra and Amel. I don't know how much longer that woman will sit there and watch all that happen again. I don't understand how he likes to open old wounds that will never heal again. It seemed that the wound would never be able to heal completely if he still behaved like this.

I got out of the cafe, then immediately walked to the cemetery. I hope they both stay there. However, as I had expected if this time the man would come back in my way. He never liked it when I got close to that place. But I did nothing at all. I don't know why he was so temprament when he saw me.

“Why are you back again?!” asked the man in a rude tone.

“Where did two of my friends who just entered here earlier?” ask me who doesn't want to waste any more time.

“They just left here.” he replied.

“Let me in, just for a minute…. I beg...” I said.

“You can't go in there, they'll bother you. You're too attractive to them.” she explained to me.

But I really don't understand what he said just now.

“Arwah-arwah in there will probably like your arrival.” he said.

“Your soul is still too open for them. And maybe one of them will fill it. I saw that half of your soul had disappeared somewhere. So you have to take good care of yourself.” explained at length.

“I do not understand uncle.” reply me with what is.

“Let me explain.” he said.

“All humans are born with two different souls and that soul has its own owner. The other one is yours, and the other one belongs to someone who will be your soul mate in the future.” he explained once again.

“Uncle told me if one of them had disappeared. Why did he leave?” my many.

“You need not worry because your soul will not leave you before you die.” he said plainly.

“Then what is the soul that disappeared it means if that person has died?” ask me with hesitation.

The old man just nodded his head, saying my words. I peeked in place when I saw his reaction. If that other soul is my soul mate, and he says that my soul mate is dead. Could I be single all my life? Will I live in solitude until the end of my life? Ah, but I can't think like that. It's their trust and I have to respect it. As we all know, everyone has their own beliefs. Maybe this is not true and just a mythical story that developed in the community around here.

I decided not to worry too much about it. If they have their own beliefs, then I also have my own. I only believe that my destiny has been outlined by God. And as we know, no human being knows about God's plan. We just keep going forward, and then one by one the secrets will be revealed. Just have to wait for the right time. So no need to rush.