Lara's Admirers

Episode 77's

　

　

Today is the same as yesterday. Again and for the umpteenth time, I must remain lying here. I didn't think it would be like this in the end. I didn't think that the mattress that had always been my strongest reason to go home after wandering all day above the earth's crust, would be something so sickening and boring.

So in essence not everything that looks beautiful, comfortable and we always dream of, will always be so forever. There are times when they have to deal with change, which must happen because that is how time works. Today I learned one more thing, if everything that is excessive it will not be good impact. All must be right on the portion of each in order to remain balanced later.

Stefani's been gone since early in the morning. Mama and papa also had to go to deliver the grandmothers regular check-ups at the clinic. Meanwhile, my aunt was also shopping at a market near here. And now I'm really alone in this house.

“Huft!” I groaned while ruffling my hair.

I actually feel a lot better than before. But the old men said that I should keep resting. So inevitably I have to obey their words, even though I don't want to.

I ate some cereal and peanut butter bread in the kitchen. Taka da is different in the slightest, still the same as the menu for my breakfast every day. I don't know why I can't get bored with those two types of snacks, even though I eat them almost every morning.

“Eh, Mbak Eresha is already here it turns out.” said someone who was in the kitchen doorway.

I turned my eyes to the source of the voice. And finally I only found my aunt who had just returned from the market. I don't even know when that woman was there.

“Iya, bi.” reply me briefly.

That woman didn't touch me just now, because it was just a small talk. Bibi then tidy up her groceries that she just brought from the market. Some he washed and the rest wrapped neatly to put in the refrigerator. The middle-aged woman looks so painstaking in doing her job on this one. He had known for years that he was constantly doing this without ever getting bored.

“Oh yes mbak, his mama earlier mbak told aunt if they are likely to come home later in the afternoon.” said aunt suddenly.

“Kok can? The queue at the clinic that long huh?” my many.

“Not mbak, they said they want to stop by the house of Mbak Renata.” he explained.

“Oh” reply me short with perfectly round mouth.

I pensively hung over the dinner table, while still spending the rest of the peanut butter bread. I don't even know what to do after this, at least something that can drive away my boredom. I certainly don't have the slightest idea for that one. After finishing breakfast and eating my medicine, I immediately returned to the room. Looks like I'll spend all day sleeping there.

‘DRRTTT!!’

Suddenly, my phone shook slowly. Maybe just a notification from one of the apps as usual. I immediately checked the notification. I don't know if I should be happy or sad about this one. The notification I just received was an e-mail from the embassy. They stated if I passed the first stage for the scholarship, which was the result of the report card selection. Next I still have to take the written test.

As I mentioned earlier, I used this scholarship. This is the only way I can go to the country I dreamed of, for such a long time. All this time I have always responded to all things about this scholarship to Korea seriously and so ambitiously. But suddenly everything just changed.

I thought that if luck would take my side, maybe I would graduate at one of the universities in Korea with the help of this scholarship. On the one hand it will definitely be a pride for me and my extended family. But on the other hand I'm not sure if I'm really ready to lose them all for a while.

In a few months, all the twelve year students and students will face the graduation exam. An end to our journey after years of fighting for the future. People say that every day someone comes and goes in our lives. Surely they will be happy because they have completed their studies for the past three years, including me of course. But it cannot be denied if someday they will also be sad. Sad because not necessarily tomorrow they will still be able to see the faces that are usually always faced with them all every day.

Graduation day is really hard to describe in words. Too many emotions are seized later, will be too abstract later to be explained. And now I'm getting tired of counting the days that never came. Even though he said he only stayed a little while longer, me and everyone always wanted his presence to be postponed first. Too many memories to forget.

Sometimes time is so cruel . Making all that has been reunited must be separated again, and only leave a wound to be remembered. Then what would he come for if he had to go back in the end. But such is the law of life, where there is a meeting there must be separation. They are like two things that cannot be separated from each other, because they bind each other.

That gray white period, is exactly what people say it is. Uh! It's too hard to describe. Sometimes being a little naughty does not matter, because that is how to enjoy life. Slightly out of your comfort zone, will make you understand how beautiful the High School period is. But you also have to be able to distinguish which is called by damaging the same front, and which is called by enjoying youth.

Don't be so stiff as a human. Sometimes you have to adapt to circumstances. So yourself is important. Being formal is not always the main thing in this life.

***

‘BRUKK!!’

“What sound is it?” my mind in my heart.

The sound came from a figura there. But how could the photo fall, fortunately the glass did not break. Looks like the nails aren't too strong to withstand the weight of this thing. Maybe I'll fix it soon, so don't worry. Why did that photo fall? The picture of me and Arka standing next door, right after the Olympics.

But it seems like it was just a coincidence. I shouldn't think too much about this little thing. At least I don't have to pay anymore, because the glass is still fine. But it is strange how the thin glass does not break or crack at all.

“Sha, I'm home!” tell someone from behind the door.

Sure enough if it was Stefani who had just come home from school. Today the girl came home earlier than yesterday. That's because today is Friday’at Day, and almost all schools do always send their students home early in the day. Today and tomorrow are also no extra lesson hours until the afternoon. Because he had to wait until people finished praying Friday’at, Stefani will also enter work later than usual.

“Later spent Friday’at-an Arka said he wanted to come here.” said Stefani who had just arrived.

“Why again? Kan yesterday udah.” reply me so innocently.

“No idea of the child, maybe if just a day did not meet you he was upset times. The proof is that when you are hospitalized, he every day jengukin lo to the hospital.” explained the girl.

“But! Arka was never that alay.” bluntly denied me.

“Yes so want what's the reason for him, mendingan lo get ready from now on deh. From what happened yesterday again, what do you want?” stefani Proposal.

“Ya not really, but bodo ah! More mager.” reply.

“Ya already, if you don't want to too.” give it to me.

Not necessarily if later the man actually came here. Besides, I heard about all this from Stefani's mouth, and not from that person directly. So why prepare yourself for something that will not necessarily be truly present. If later the incident does not match our expectations, even heartache at the ends. Being a living creature does not only have to be a perfectionist, because life only needs to be lived casually. So in principle, just welcome whoever comes and let him who just wants to pass. Although basically that comes it will also go someday.

“Gue left for work first yes.” said the girl while carrying her sling bag.

“OK.” reply me briefly.

“Eh, by the way people home on where the hell? Kok tumben deserted very.” ask me.

“Against to the house Renata.” answer me as is.

“What do you think the answer is?” I said while smiling wryly.

“Yes, if so I work first. Bye!” reply while returning to say goodbye for the umpteenth time.

“Hmmm!” reply brief.

After that I went back to my activities to play with my phone. It's the only thing I can do so far. Although actually not too much help me in expelling this saturation.

‘Tok! Geck! Tok!’

Someone knocked on my door from outside this room. And for the umpteenth time I must open the door for that man. I don't know why, lately a lot of people are knocking on my bedroom door.

“There are guests who want to meet mbak below.” said aunt who directly to the core of the problem only.

“Oh, okay bi.” reply me briefly.

Without lingering any longer, I immediately went downstairs, to meet the person meant by aunt. Previously I did not think if the guest in question is Arka, but after I arrived there it is true if the person is Arka. Today he did not come in a suit of cocoa and sarongs, like people who after Friday prayers, in general. The man came up with his usual appearance in public, which was with a toska hoodie. I don't understand for some reason lately hoodie has become a fashion trend all over the world. Wherever I go, there must always be at least one or two people walking in a hoodie. One of them, including me, is one of them.

“Ngapain?” ask me a moment after I get there.

“Emang Stefani did not tell you, if I want to come here?” ask the man back.

“She just said that you want to come here, and did not say what reason you came here.” I replied at length.

“Basic of the boy yes!” the Arka looks upset.

I told you earlier that I couldn't trust Stefani completely. Sometimes there must be something more or less than what he said, never the slightest fit. It always misses a little.

“This is about Brother Sendy.” the man said in a serious tone.

“Why is he the same? I'm back from Borneo, right?” ask me enthusiastically.

“Worse than that sha, hopefully you can accept this one reality.” he explained.

Somehow it feels like the answer given by Arka just now does not make me satisfied. If it's worse, it means there's a bad guy about that guy. And one thing is for sure, I or everyone in the world must not be ready for every bad thing that comes.

Now I began to get carried away by an atmosphere that did not bring a good atmosphere at all. Both me and Arka now look so serious. I can't wait to see if it's bad, even though I don't want to listen to it at all. But no matter how bad it is, I still have to know. Same thing as when we are faced with a drug. Although we know that it will be very bitter when it passes through our esophagus, but inevitably we have to keep drinking it.

“I do not know where to start.” said Arka while scratching his head that does not itch.

“It's really that bad huh?” ask me carefully.

“I don't know how to make all this not sound so painful, even though it is in fact.” explained the man to me.

“You need to polish like anything, still will not change the core of the problem right.” reply me.

Arka took a deep breath. Somehow it seems this one thing is very difficult for this man to say. Words that wouldn't be pleasant, like it's too heavy to say from his mouth.

“So I was with Brother Rayhan had a deal to pray Jum’at in the same place. And before the Jum’at prayer began, we had discussed some things.” explained Arka as the opening.

So far everything he's said doesn't sound so bad. Everything still sounds fine. I tried to listen to everything he said seriously and carefully.

“We talked about Brother Sendy. All the gifts you received earlier, actually, Brother Sendy wants to give it a few days before your birthday. More precisely, you are still being treated in the hospital. That night he wanted to take all of this to the hospital, all of you want to say goodbye. Because tomorrow he has to go to Kalimantan for research studies.” explained Arka with all his courage.

“Terus?” tanyaku while fishing himself to want to tell everything.

“That night he had an accident and after that Brother Sendy was taken to the same hospital as you.” he continued.

My eyes were perfectly rounded after hearing everything from Arka. I don't know how to react. I was completely dumbfounded at the moment, because all of those things were so shocking to me. It turned out that everything was much worse than I had ever expected. I hope I'm having a nightmare right now, and I'm getting out of my sleep. But unfortunately, this is all real.

“And he couldn't have survived that night. Destiny said another to that one guy.” said Arka with a trembling voice.

Both my eyeballs are heating up, there's something I can't stand anymore. I clasped my hand, trying not to cry. You know exactly if I hate that one thing so much. But this time I can't lie to myself. I'm tired of constantly hiding behind this seemingly solid wall, but not at all. I was tired of using the words that made me as hard as that rock, but in reality I was nothing more than an old hut that had been reot and almost collapsed.

“You must be kidding right ka?” ask me with a feeling I still can't believe this.

“Do I joke the same about kayak gini sha... You know yourself that joking the same death is not good.” refute the man immediately.

“That's why their hostel room had been empty for some time. Though Kak Rayhan again carried the body of Kak Sendy to his family. He was arrested at one of the city's public cemeteries. The city where your story began more precisely.” explained Arka once again.

“So that's why she's Sendy's coming back to town? Because he really had to go home there at that time.” replied me with a voice that began to sound raucous.

“Because indeed the city full of memories has asked him to return sha.” said the man who was standing in front of me.

“You must be sincere sha.” he continued while embracing my shoulder.

“If only I knew that yesterday would be the last. Maybe I will do whatever it is, let the end of this story end happily even though it must be finished soon.” I said to Arka with tears that I can not contain anymore.

“Not all stories can end happily. Sometimes there must be a story that ends tragically.” reply while stroking the smooth top of my head.

Sometimes I like to think why I should cry again, for the umpteenth time in my life. I think there were too many tears I gave her. He wouldn't like it if you gave him that gift again. This feeling died, then came back to life. Return to life like a hope that re-incarnates after his death, to become a new soul and a new hope that continues to grow bigger until something deadly returns. This taste had been so meaningful, before in the end it would only never be considered like this.

I fell many times and was helped to stand by the same person. The one who has now truly gone for good and will never come back to help me rise again. Now I prefer to keep that feeling, like it's a secret. The true taste has long settled on my little heart. Sometimes not all flavors must be expressed, because later even complicated it becomes.