Lara's Admirers

Episode 67's

I took a deep breath, then leaned against the wall that was right behind me. Can't this guy understand my position for a little bit. He was too quick to draw conclusions, Arka was too prioritizing his emotions. Even allowing it to be more dominant than his common sense.

Shortly after, a pair of brides had entered this room simultaneously. Cheers seemed to radiate from the faces of the two of them, not forgetting all those who will be witnesses of the sacred promise to live on as soon as they pledge later. But not with me who is constantly overwhelmed with anxiety. I can't calm down a bit from now on. I'm constantly checking my phone which never gives good news.

Suddenly, Arka grabbed my body. He patted me gently on the shoulder, as if he was encouraging me. I turned my gaze towards the man with a small smile that was expanding there. His hand continued to creep into my head, stroking the delicate every single strand of my hair. Then let my head rest weakly on his shoulders. I didn't think he would do this sweet thing to me.

"I know that name is still stored deep inside. But I will keep trying to get your heart back" he said, stroking my head.

"I will wait until you open your heart completely to me" he continued.

"Thanks Arka, you are the only person who has the most difficult personality to guess for me" I said with both corners of the lips raised.

"But you two! The show is about to start!" chirps Adit who is sitting next to Arka.

"Sewot only you! Iri said!" reply Arka who is no less insistent.

I immediately removed my head from his shoulders, and immediately returned to sitting upright. This man has managed to cheer me up a little, at least for today I have laughed. All the treatment he gave me, it gave me a little forget about the many problems I had. Until then I felt like I had no burden at all, all my problems seemed to disappear for a moment. Although in my little heart I kept hoping that Brother Sendy would take the time to come here for a while, it has been a long time since I have seen his face.

***

The two brides have prepared in their respective positions. Sitting side by side with a bad feeling again. Nervous, happy, moved, mixed into one so that it was difficult to describe.

Bibi spread the fancy white ornate bead scarf over the two of them, to cover the head of the lovers. While papa himself sat cross-legged in front of them with a feeling of sadness and happiness. The old man, who has been with his children for many years, will now release one of his daughters to a man he has trusted.

This time papa will be the guardian of Renata marriage, who will immediately marry his son with Kak Reksa. I don't know how long they've been in a relationship as lovers, but judging by their readiness it seems like a long time ago. I never knew how their story started, because this woman never told me anything about it. Maybe he thinks I'm not yet the right place to tell stories. I know that, in terms of age I am much younger than him.

Papa began to sow his hands with Kak Reksa, while saying kabul ijab.

"I marry and marry you to my daughter, Renata bint Sutistyo with a golden dowry of one hundred grams and a prayer kit paid in cash" he said with so steady.

"I accepted Renata bint Sutistyo's marriage and marriage with a gold dowry weighing one hundred grams and a set of prayer equipment in cash!" reply Kak Reksa with so sure.

"How are the witnesses, legitimate?" said someone I don't know next to Papa.

"Well!" say everyone in the room at once.

"Alhamdulillah." said the whole once more.

Without hesitation again, the man who had now become her legal husband Renata immediately kissed the woman's forehead briefly. On the contrary, Renata also kissed the back of Kak Reksa's hand with a happy feeling.

I'm happy for Renata, but on the other hand I feel sad. Because soon, he will leave this place and start his new life with someone he loves. But it doesn't seem like I'm the only one who feels that way, the whole family must feel the same way. Including mama and papa who are now sad because Renata is no longer their responsibility.

But there is one more thing that makes this event less complete, why my real mother was not invited to this event. I'm a little disappointed about it, however married this is her biological child. Moreover, Renata had spent more time with that person. This woman only returned to papa, one day before our biological mother remarried another man. Sometimes a marriage does not guarantee that their relationship will be eternal hinhy death separates. For example, like my mother and my biological father who broke when both of his children were born into the world.

***

"I wish one day we could be like sha." whispered Arka softly in my ear.

"School was real, let's be successful!" reply with a slightly joking tone.

The man just chuckled as he ruffled the top of my head in an uneasy manner. But there's one thing that makes me uncomfortable. That look made me feel guilty. I could clearly grasp the meaning of the look in Clara's eyes that kept watching Arka and me. I know clearly, he was actually envious of my current position. The girl wanted so badly to be in my current position, it was something she had always dreamed of. But unfortunately Clara could not reach this man any further, even though she wanted to do so. A status of friendship between them alone seemed to be more than enough for the girl. Many times he felt desperate for his past with Arka that he wasted.

I can't do much to help her. Yesterday, when I talked about this girl in front of Arka, she almost left me alone in the middle of the city. I don't know how dark the story was in their past, to make Arka hate him so much today. Clara seemed to be the darkest page of the worst chapter in her. To the extent that he no longer wants to open, let alone re-read the story he once wrote.

They're all full of mysteries, like puzzles I can't solve on my own. The two men put their selfishness first, regardless of how they feel working. Clara and Arka were both too hard on themselves.

I don't understand how Arka hates Clara for one mistake. While I was, he kept trying to love me without ever thinking of hating me, even though I had so often disappointed him. Sometimes I can't figure out how easily that guy can forgive me. But not so for Clara who always expects an apology from him. Love can make anyone blind, and cannot tell what is wrong and what is right.

***

"I change clothes first." I said to the man.

Arka nodded in agreement with my words.

I'll be right back in the room, with Stefani. Like our previous plan, the next outfit is the dress code. At least I can breathe a little.

I reflected in front of the full body glass in my room. Seeing my reflection on that thing. I never even thought that I could change like a little elf. With just a little touch of sweetness, able to change my form that they never expected.

After everything was done, Stefani and I rushed downstairs again. The rest of the family has also changed clothes. Now it's time to move. Renata is definitely one car with Kak Reksa. Me and the rest were in separate cars.

"Bareng me yuk!" take Arka while pulling one of my hands.

"But I made a promise to be with my mom and dad." I replied with disappointment.

This time I can't keep up with his wishes. Because I made an appointment with them before. There's no way I'm just canceling it. But on the other hand I also don't want this guy to tail my vehicle from behind. I was afraid that it would happen a second time.

"Hmmm... gini deh, what if I asked their permission?" ask the Arka who is not out of sense.

I haven't been able to answer his question just now, this man immediately pulled my hand in front of mama and papa. I don't want to be forced to follow the game this time. Although I don't know if everything will go as smoothly as he predicted before, or vice versa.

"Excuse me om and aunt." said Arka politely.

"Yes, what's wrong, Arka?" ask mom while confirming her hair.

"Can I not take Eresha with me? It means Eresha to the same place with Arka. May yes aunt.." explained Arka with all the persuasion.

I can only shake my head to see this man's behavior. I'm not saying if what he's doing is wrong, it's just that I'm not sure if the plan will work.

"Jaudah, Eresha is just like you." reply mom with both corners of lips raised.

"Thank you aunt!" arka said while saying goodbye to my parents.

"Jaga Eresha is fine, we both believe in you" he said.

I then raised my head, just after the sentence of approval came out of their mouths. I can't believe what just happened. These two people usually do not easily trust the new people they know. After all, mom and dad were always overprotective of me. But this time, the two of them did not think about it anymore.

"Eresha said yes, ma. We'll meet there later." I said as I briefly kissed the back of their hands.

"Yes, be careful. Don't speed up." reply mom.

"Quiet aunt, auntie and om will be safe in my hands." said Arka with a slightly joking tone.

Shortly after, we headed to the Arka motorcycle. I don't understand why he had to bring his motorcycle here. Though his mother Arka also drove an empty car. Why is he not one vehicle with his mother. It saves a lot more fuel. Or maybe he had deliberately planned this long before.

I just realized one more thing, it turns out Stefani also does not want to lose. The girl also cut down with Titan, whether it was so or even Titan himself who offered it. And one more thing, Clara also joined Adit. Maybe they came here in this situation.

"Why didn't you go with your mom?" ask me in the middle of the trip.

"Oh that, I promised them to go together" explained Arka in a voice that was not so clear because it was carried by the wind.

The six of us were with other guests riding motorcycles, driving right behind the accompaniment of cars lined up along the way. I enjoyed this short trip. Today is very bright, clear blue sky with some clouds as its sweetener. The weather was not too hot as usual, everything was perfect today. The sky of Jakarta today is so friendly, if the universe is also happy. Think of this as a greeting to the joy of the universe who is smiling widely.

But again, for the umpteenth time I went back to checking my phone. But the result is always the same every time I do that. Nothing could make me feel a little relieved. No word from Sendy.

My feeling is that this is not a good thing. I don't know if I should trust my gut feeling this time or not. But my intuition was always right, often that's what scared me. Sometimes it's better for me not to know at all than to accept the bad reality of the future. And I had to prepare myself to face it, fighting my biggest fear wasn't as easy as they thought.

***

After taking a few photo sessions at the wedding with my extended family and other relatives, I went straight down to the guests' seats. The atmosphere at that time was indeed crowded, but I did not find his figure among the dozens of humans there. My eyes did not catch the figure I kept looking from earlier. My nose can't even sniff out the distinctive smell, which means that Sendy's sister isn't here.

"Eh, sha! Photo with yuk!" bring Clara who is suddenly behind me.

I immediately nodded briefly saying his words. Then immediately follow his steps to head to that place again. Me, Clara, Stefani, Arka, Titan and Adit. The six of us deliberately took some special photos just there we were in it. Capture some of today's moments with a life memory recorder. Who knows in the future, we need all these photos. A reminder of the memory that was lost. That's why I never refused if someone asked me to take a picture together like this. It could be later, simple things that will be very difficult to get, because the distance that stretches between each person.

Every laugh and smile, beautifully drawn on the glossy paper. A result of camera shots that frame a slick one story. Stories about our friendship, and this sense of once existed adorned the storyline. One day I will show the world, if you are my most beautiful imagination, including him who will either be with me in the future or not.

"Lo why sha, how nervous was that from earlier?" ask Stefani.

"No, really!" I quickly eloped.

While the others headed to the buffet to take their lunch, I still continued to wait for his presence here. Every now and then I paced around the main entrance, almost like a half-dazed person.

"Eat first yuk.." take Arka while holding one of my hands.

"In a moment." I said briefly.

"You haven't eaten anything since this morning. Give yourself time to rest for a while, because I know that waiting for something that never comes is very tiring." explained the man.

A second later, he grabbed my shoulder. Take me in there, to meet the others. Although I was actually reluctant to leave this place, before seeing Brother Sendy come here. But what Arka said just now was true as well, I can't be too hard on myself. Because in reality, I'm not that loud. So there's no point if I keep pushing myself like this.

After taking the rice and some of the side dishes available here, I immediately joined the others who were busy talking at the round table. There is always the talk of these people, who basically like to talk.

"Where is sha?" ask Clara who is eating her food.

"Take the food before you talk" I told the man.

"Hehe. sorry." she said, taking a tissue.

While the intended figure only laughed a little while cleaning his mouth with a tissue. The food in his mouth, almost splashed out all. And that's something really disgusting for everyone.

"It's so bad lo!" sindir Stefani nudges Adit's arm violently.

"I'm sorry about that!" reply Adit who is no less insistent.

"Udah-udah, like a little child is lo both" said Titan who tried to divorce the two.

"Lo sick sha? From the moment we saw, you seemed not excited today." said Clara who turned out to have noticed me earlier.

"No, I'm fine." I replied with a little lie.

"Eresha why you? Let's not let you make him upset again." said Stefani who directly accused Arka.

"His son, there are also lo!" refute the Arka clearly.

"Here you are, what a fight!" I said with a slightly higher tone.

Soon, the atmosphere went back to being quiet because of my bluff at them just now. But it did not last long, these five people were again busy with his chat that they had not been able to finish earlier. While I just keep quiet while eating my food without any lust at all. As if isolating themselves from the group of people, away for a moment from the sacred atmosphere. I was busy with my own thoughts.

Suddenly I remembered one thing, this necklace. The gift necklace from Brother Sendy that came to me in a mysterious way. That time never made sense to me. Despite the fact, these events actually happen outside of the common sense of man in general.

I still vividly remember every sentence he said that night, in my dreams or maybe my imagination. He said that if he would always be with me, his soul would live forever in this necklace. Accompany wherever my steps lead. But actually, he's not here now. Even in important moments like this, Brother Sendy did not show the trunk of his nose.

All his words at that time were just nonsense, I should have known about it a long time ago. Man is too easy to promise without knowing whether he himself is able to keep the promise he made himself. Everything is just a sweetener so that every sentence he speaks seems so poetic when heard. He should have known it was the most deadly beauty.

I finished my lunch at that time. I barely even touched it. It's not good to push something too much. Now I'm not having appetite, because my mood is not okay.

I'm back with my phone. Checking something out there and hoping it could slightly improve my mood. But every time I wished, I was disappointed. Because in fact, all of those things did not match my expectations that had soared.

I stared at the screen of my phone which slowly dimmed by itself, because I did not touch it at all. There was absolutely no word from the man, had he completely disappeared. I don't know what to do right now. I think I'm more suited to being called a coward. I'm too cowardly to take a new step toward a major change. I was too afraid to leave behind the dark stories of my past, and welcomed a new, much better story afterwards.

If only the tone we created together could call you back here. Maybe I won't be fidgeted like this. Every time I am haunted by the shadow of the mysterious man, who has now revealed his true face. A handsome face that I have admired so much before. Love made me a beggar at the time. But every pain I feel is always pleasant, because that's how love works. It makes everything feel beautiful, so we can't tell which is good and which is bad.

Let the song sound for the umpteenth time. I just want to repeat the ref part again. It's okay if it's going to end up sad. But please come back here with me. We play this song again, because our song is not finished yet. So don't go first, just stay here for a little while.

***

"Sha, are you still thinking of Sendy?" ask Arka.

I just nodded my head in resignation.

A second later, he pulled my body into his arms. His hands were coiled around my body, providing a soothing warmth. One of his hands grabbed the top of my head, stroking it gently.

Sometimes I don't think about this guy. Why does he still hold on to me in a situation like this. And he knew clearly, if I hadn't been able to open my heart completely.

"Arka.." I said slowly.

"Yes?" return it while releasing his grip from me.

Both of his hands held each of my shoulders firmly. As if to be the support of myself who is fragile, so as not to collapse just like that. At least I still have a pole to lean on.

"Do you hate me?" ask me with origin.

"Why is that?" Arka asked back.

"Jawab first." I reply.

Arka breathed a long breath. It seems like an easy question for him.

"Please love me for a good reason to hate you" replied Arka with deep eyes.

"At that time, you said so sure that you hated me." I explained in a trembling voice.

"When sha? I never said that." she immediately denied it.

I bit my lower lip firmly, holding back from sobbing. I want to cry right now, but I can't. The tears seemed to be held back by something there. It seems that I myself do not allow me to be sad in this happy heart.

"At that time, Clara was almost doomed because of me." I said carefully.

"On that matter, I never seriously said it." replied Arka.

"Arka is someone who never messes with his own words, he is always serious with all the sentences that come out of his mouth" I explained.

"Let me take my words back" Arka said quickly.

"I'm sorry sha, you know that time I was laughing again emotions." he continued.

"It's okay if the hate is still there, but just calm down I won't admit the same to you." I reply.

"Yes, I admit that hate is still there. But my hatred, far less great than my affection." said Arka who tried to convince me.

"Udah ah, I even discuss this anyway." he continued.

I just smiled at the man standing in front of me. Arka and Sis Sendy are almost similar to each other. They are like two people who have one soul.

After that incident, Arka led me back inside to follow the path of the show. Because every minute, I always go to the exits and the entrances that become one. Every time someone comes in here, I guess if it's Brother Sendy. I kept waiting for his presence, even until I was tired.

Arka brought me back into our circle of friendship. Surrounded by those freaks, it felt like it was more than enough. There is always a story in every second we create together. There were millions of laughs born that day. Because of all of them, I can feel a little relieved and happier.

***

Because the day had begun to dim and the air out there also began to turn so cold, therefore Arka brought these five friends to enter his house. Incidentally Arka house is located right next to Kak Reksa's house. As a result, the yard of this man's house was also used as a temporary parking area for invited guests who came.

The show will be finished, at exactly twelve o'clock tonight. And all family members should remain in this place until the event is completely finished. For a while waiting until the show was over, we all took refuge in Arka's house. The crowd was too boring, because we always had to keep our attitude and could not be ourselves as people usually see.

I'm sure that Renata's back right now must be very painful. The woman spent the whole day sitting on a bench, like a queen. It could be after this he will hemorrhoid, because too much sitting. I was just pacing back and forth earlier, could hurt my back even my whole body felt like it wanted to be broken. What else is he who has only been in the same position for hours. His body must be very stiff when he gets up later.

"What are you eating on?" asked Arka while leaning her body on the kitchen doorstep.

The man is seen to have rolled half of his shirt sleeve and slightly loosened his collar. Even Arka had also taken off her suit that she was wearing earlier. It seems that this child does not feel at home for long in there.

"Woy! In tanya too, even diem!" snapped the impatient Ark.

Whether it is deliberately wanted to test the patience of this man, or indeed their ears are deaf because it has been too long never cleaned. None of them spoke the word Arka. Before his emotions became more and more so, I finally decided to open my voice.

"What's it?" my many.

"There's nothing, mama I didn't get to cook anything" he explained.

"Keep saying what will he eat, if there's nothing?" ask again.

"Delivery order, that's what I meant" he replied while scratching his head that did not itch at all.

"Order anything, the important thing is to eat." I handed it to the man.

"OK deh." said Arka then headed towards me while carrying her phone.

"Basically yes, all of you! Don't have a mouth or what?!" nagel Arka once again.

I could only shake my head, inexhaustible with this man. It turns out that in addition to being cold, ketus, ignorant and pretentious, he can also behave like a child.

"You want pizza?" arka asked while showing me her phone screen.

"May, joint, right?" askaku.

"No, let me pay" he replied lightly.

"But this is even the Ark" I said while pointing to the price listed there.

"Udah is okay, don't protest anymore" said the man, then silenced my mouth with his index finger.

"Once in a while I signed the agreement of all of you, yes even though on gini nyebelin anyway." he continued.

I could never do anything, if this man had willed. Especially if the intention is already round, it will be very difficult for me. Even though the price is quite expensive if he has to pay alone. Or maybe Arka has used all his pocket money for the week.