CAUGHT CHEATING (I'M SORRY!)

The Difficult Process

"May? You why?" ask me one more time.

"You can get sick, you're rich in gini."

I panicked when Maira saw me in this state, no longer panicked for fear of being discovered like before, but panicked to see the chaotic Maira.

Kurukul Maira was pale from the cold, but suddenly Maira refused my embrace violently.

Maira's breathing was panting, she was very messed up.

"May? What's up?" manyworry.

Slowly I accompanied Maira to pull over at the corner of the place, Maira followed, aware of what was happening did not want to be the consumption of the public. Maira no longer refused my embrace.

What the hell's going on? Was Maira robbed? Pickpocketing? Hypnosis on the street?

I ordered a glass of hot tea, and the waiter also lent a towel to Maira. Maira received the tea glass with trembling hands, then I helped Maira dry her hair.

I don't have to rush to ask, Maira's composure needs to come first.

"Keep well?" I asked as Maira's breathing began to sound regular.

Suddenly Maira was crying. Makes me even more panicked, what happened to her?

I hug Maira, lately her emotions are getting chaotic, up and down is not bad, and it is not known why.

"All is well now, you are safe, Mah, Papah here," I said calmly.

"I'm sorry!" maira said sobbing.

"What's wrong? Why does Mom? Is Luna the same latitude of the fight? Naughty? Thunder hurts? Fussy? Or what, Mah?" I began to impatiently hold back my curiosity.

Maira shook her head, making me even more confused.

"Then what makes you rich?" my many.

"It's nothing, all because .. because of myself," replied Maira ambiguously, I still don't understand the direction of the conversation.

"Well .. now listen, papah is here ready to listen to anything complained Mamah."

I learned to be a comfortable place for Maira to share, making her believe in me like she used to is not an easy thing, there are still many things that Maira covers up since we decided to get back together. I still miss Maira who always complained about trivial things about her daily life.

"I follow you" said Maira Lirih.

"What?" my question is to make sure, I can hardly believe what Maira said.

"I'm afraid you're cheating!" maira said with a stifling eye.

Afraid I'm cheating? It's been this hard as I tried to change, she's still scared? Even in the rain, flood, and traffic jams she caught up with me.

I was silent and stuck, not knowing what to do. Maira's actions offended me and angered me.

"You're only here because of that?" I just don't believe it a little.

"Father just a meeting, Mah, take on the project, look at all the papah teams," I said, pointing to the table where my friends were, they stole my eyes on me and Maira.

"We have agreed to open a new page, Mah, let's trust each other, do not reveal the past papah again papah also try hard to be able to change, so already!" my reproach.

It's not easy for me to be at this point, why doesn't Maira appreciate it?

"I can't!" said Maira.

I kept waiting for Maira's words, I felt worthy to get an explanation of Maira's actions this time.

"Why, Mah?" I'm impatient, because Maira has no intention of giving me an explanation.

"I tried ..," he said again, the sentence seemed convoluted.

"Try what, Mah?"

"I can't trust you, I've tried not to be suspicious anymore, but .. I can't!" maira said slowly but firmly.

A very piercing sentence, hurting the effort I've done for him. Is it less?

"I know you must be angry" continued Maira.

"I tried, I tried!" Maira looked desperate, the anger within me slacking off changing with compassion.

I hugged Maira's trembling body again, the inner struggle that was beyond my prediction was apparently very difficult. Maira took off my arms again, I was waiting for her to string up a sentence. It seemed like the hidden conflict in his heart had already reached the peak.

"I'm sorry I couldn't believe you, Bang!" Maira.

"Every time you leave the house, I'm always scared. Is it true that you went straight to the office, or stopped by another woman? Are you really meeting or busy dating other women? You can flirt and flirt until you finally go back to sleep with them, I don't know, I'm afraid, those thoughts I can't get rid of!"

I looked at Maira who poured out her anxiety with a disappointed heart.

"You've always been kind to me, and so have the kids, I admit you've changed drastically. Your sweet and romantic attitude, attention to all of us even to the little things you always pay attention to. I really appreciate your effort and sincerity, but the nightmare keeps coming, your attitude now is almost the same as your old attitude, when you're being nice to make up for your guilt for sleeping with another woman."

Maira's words were fluent yet she always avoided my eyes, affirming that she still didn't believe me.

"I try to forget, always by telling myself that everything is fine. But the fear is too great and strong, the fear of being let down again, betrayed again, lied to again, I'm so afraid that my decision to apologize to you is wrong and wrong."

Maira looks desperate and dead-end.

"It's okay, Mah, papah understand, it's all a process, overflow everything. Papah will accept whatever the emotional turmoil of Mamah, papah must always be there to help Mamah fight the trauma!" I said with certainty.

I held Maira's hand so she could feel my support to ease her anxiety. Maira shook her head and pulled her hand from my grasp.

"No, Bang! You once said that the reason you cheated was because I was always suspicious and accused of exaggeration, you ... who was determined to turn into a sultry and eventually returned to cheating, right?" maira said reminiscent of the debate that had occurred.

Maira was right, she used to be very jealous, possessive and always curbing. Every single thing always made him suspicious and triggered our quarrel. I who was not cheating at that time was deliberately cheating because Maira often accused me without clear evidence. Only prejudice tormented him and could not believe me.

"I'm the one who's always suspicious also makes you tormented, right?" maira again.

"Bang .. This fear I can't control!"

The clear thread again escaped from the corner of Maira's eyes, she managed to acknowledge all the conflicts in her heart as well as her weak point. Actually it was not only me who changed, I could feel that Maira had changed, she was wiser to convey her feelings.

"Sorry, Mah, it's all my fault."

"Not .. This is my fault, without you knowing I always check where you go via GPS, I always check the contents of your chat and email, even I'll smell every one of your clothes before you wash Tuti's bik, just to make sure there's no other woman's perfume on your shirt."

"Lala also has to report to anyone who comes in and out of your room, if it's a woman, I have to know how many minutes you talk in one room, what business, and so on. I'm tired!" maira exclaimed with all her emotions.

"I'm wrong because I can't give you trust, but if I could think positively and believe, you'd change faster and our marriage wouldn't be this bad."

"I'm wrong, I'm!" maira shouted.

"No, Mah! I am wrong because I have repeatedly hurt Mamah, ngehianatin Mamah, all that Mamah lokainin because of the wrong papah, stop mistaking yourself, papah please, we can still fight together, we can still fight, Mah!" I don't want to lose.

We are both in a difficult situation to stop blaming ourselves, for me and also for Maira.

"No, I was wrong!" maira said again.

"You will not be wrong if you are not wrong first! Wrong face, Mah!" my reply.

"No," refused Maira.

"The father who has made Mamah traumatized this badly."

"Let's stop, let's split up!"

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