CAUGHT CHEATING (I'M SORRY!)

Is Fair?

While me? Only weak women who for years silent oppressed by cheating husbands are always arbitrary. I miss the old me.

"May," call Sila to wake me from the daydream.

"Yes .. I'm sorry I daydreamed instead," I said wrongly.

"Let's talk about something else, let's be comfortable," asked Sila warmly, I was already inferior.

"Speak what, Sil? My daily life is like this, children and home, keep going ... Bang the god .. who keeps hurting me! I'm not the old Maira, Sil," I said honestly.

"I am not rich you are broad-minded, beautiful, attractive, independent ...." I took a deep breath and realized how much I was right now.

"May .. no papa, just tell me if you can make you relieved." Please take my clenched hand. It has become my habit when feeling anxious, sad, or angry, I will clench my hands sometimes squeezing it, not even rarely scratching it.

"I'm still the same as before, your friend!" he continued, from the light of his eyes emanated a hand outstretched to me that was trapped in a dark hole.

"You're also great May, could be a mom with three cute, active, healthy kids rich in them. Don't insecure, it's me who is jealous because until now I still don't dare to get married!" please try to raise my heart.

"And as for the Gods, your husband, you're so good at surviving at this point. I didn't expect at all that you could put up with God's bad deeds," said Sila skinning my pain.

"I salute because you can defeat all forms of idealism that once attached so much to you. For the sake of children, for the sake of cute angels, you great mother May, willing to suffer for their sake!"

Sila's words touched me a little, a struggle that was not easy until I lost my identity. Sometimes I forget who I am, the demand to continue to understand the evil deeds of the God bang for the sake of being the protective mother figure of the happiness of her children.

"That's not a great thing, Sil. That's embarrassing!" I replied embarrassed, ashamed of being a stupid woman who was betrayed many times but still tried to forgive.

"God is outrageous!" curse Please.

"Ehm, not Sil, maybe I'm wrong, who can't be a good wife for Bang Dewa" I said.

"I ... keep asking my fault where, what's my fault, should without asking a lot I can reflect that now I'm just a stupid woman who is far from the taste of Bang Dewa!" my continue.

Sila was just silent as if intentionally giving me space to tell stories.

"I ... always demand Bang Dewa for love continue .. without offset efforts to solidify themselves to deserve continue to be loved. I ... not no effort, Sil, I .. I .. not perfect, I ...."

My words stopped and it was heavy to continue. I doubt if a woman like Sila who is different in the world from me could understand how tired I am?

"You're tired, May," he said trying to calm me down, Please try hard to understand me who is messed up.

"What am I supposed to do, Sil?" my question was a smile, a smile that pias and bland, a smile that really describes my soul and mind now.

"You married a god?" ask Sila, her eyes still staring into mine. Sila, who is also a former lover of the God bang. I regret being proud to win it. A stupid pride that I deeply regret.

"Ehm ..penny? I don't think, anyway, more concerned about my own circumstances and fate. There will be children, well, if I'm married to Bang Dewa like not fair to children."

"Yes too, anyway. Luna, Lintang, the same Thunder must be very proud to have your rich mama, May," said Sila looks very careful, she seems afraid to offend me. If under normal circumstances it seems like Sila has made fun of my stupidity.

I tried to brush off my bad thoughts about Sila, but my suspicion and caution were always present and sometimes even excessive. Too often being hurt, and being cheated out by the God Bang made me lose my trust and sense of security in anyone.

"Can at this point, it's great May, I .. understand very well the behavior of God fitting no you," said Sila still with caution, said, I understand the point that Sila knows exactly the affair bang Dewa.

"You deserve to be happy, May, if you don't feel you can do it, you can choose another path" said Sila trying to give me a look.

"Also if your children know the deeds of their fathers and they also know their broken sacrifices, just for the sake of their happiness, are they not burdened with guilt, May?"

"You mean?" my many.

"Pardon what you deserve, and don't let your children learn to accept the fatal mistake of someone they love" Sila replied.

"You are right, Sil, all my efforts and efforts have been made to God bang, I persevere with anger, emotion, disbelief, heartache, and now I pias, feel nothing more, he said, I'm ... numb, Sil!"

"Babangin ... when my stomach began to grow Bang Dewa back to betray me, I am still diem, trying to deceive myself if this is only a runaway because Bang Dewa bosen," I said while smiling, smiling, even laughing at my stupidity at that time.

"Until I find proof of transfer many times, and .. eehm ...." I tried to hold back my tears.

"I found evidence of the God Bang sleeping with that woman!" I finally managed to say this hurtful thing.

"I'm stupid, Sil?" tanyaku tried to admit before being told by Sila.

"No, May," declined Please look very handsome to me.

"I'm pregnant with a heart that .. um, already numb, I even hope that if I die only after birth, surely Bang Dewa can be happy because it is free!"

"May! Don't do it!" Please touch my shoulder and rub it slowly.

"Yes, Sil. It was just my short mind, Thunder was born with a loud cry but my feelings were empty. I don't know who else is struggling to give birth to please, I just feel guilty about the red baby because I have to have papah breng*ek!"

"May ...." Please rub my back as a form of support.

"I want to get out of this, Sil?" my cry exploded and Sila hugged me. Luna and Lintang had finished swimming a while ago.

Please let me cry, and all the claustrophobic stuff that made me choked slowly evaporated little by little along with my honesty to myself. I'm broken, I'm not okay.

I was able to catch the shadow of the God Bang watching us from the balcony of the room. Watching me cry should satisfy him. I will no longer ask him to stop hurting me, I just want to get away from him.

The deity's treatment bang actually never changed, inside the house that became our palace she always treated me like a queen. She always made me feel the only one, until I felt that she had been satisfied with just one woman's love.

His attitude is always sweet, it is hard to believe that everything is fake, Bang Deity who is in the house and outside the house like two different figures. It is hard for me to believe that the betrayal was committed by a husband who looked as perfect as Bang Dewangga.

"Sorry, Sil!" I said as I wiped the tears.

"No papa, May" he said, holding out a tissue to me.

"May .. Can I say something?" ask Sila.

"Yes .. please."

"I understand your suffering, and I understand that you have reached the point of tiredness. I just want to tell .. If I've only ever seen God regret this deep." Please try to convince me.

"All the work is chaotic, and I have to hide the lack of God. I swear May, God was never rich, he was always professional."

"This isn't the point, I mean .. ehm ...." Please sound like you are setting the sentence.

"The worst of a man, as bad as v*ek-breng*ek him, there will be a point where he will really regret and change," he said again, I listened carefully to the real intentions of Sila.

"After you have endured and been patient all this time, after you have continued to try to heal the heart only to be hurt again, after you have tried to continue to believe, hope and pray. Until then the gods change, is it fair that you finally have to separate?" ask Preferably with a long description.

Is fair? Right ... Like people planting this should be when I harvest, but .. does Bang Dewangga change?

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