We, Without Me

If It Hasn't Just Felt

The right side is cold and empty. The human mound wrapped in a blanket that was usually warm now disappeared. Hands that have been long enough never felt the other side of the mattress this morning as if missing the presence of someone who used to fill part of the bed. At first did not want to share, forced to sleep together, but after nothing empty felt.

It's been two nights of sleep Keven is not calm, maybe he should be willing the night later his sleep disturbed again. His body was already as strong as denying, not caring too much if Yuki wanted to run away or even disappear forever, but it was very strange Keven was constantly stricken with anxiety.

Maybe just the human side. It could be because of the hostile Mama Agni or Papa Leigh who is tough on him. But overwhelmingly welcoming the third night of Yuki's departure, Keven realized that Yuki's absence was quite disturbing to his heart.

“Why should I think of him too?!” Keven muttered still with his eyes closed and his right fist that had landed smoothly on the right side of his bed. Several times Keven punched the origin of a soft mattress that felt empty. Though Keven has now slept right in the middle, not on the edge like the last few times when Yuki was still faithfully pacing in his room.

“Argh!! Damn it!” Bumpat Keven with a low growling sound, scrambling the origin of his hair with a slight squeeze. Wanting to scream as much as possible, Keven did not want to wake up the tiger garong who increasingly fostered negative emotions towards him.

Now Keven cursed himself who did not manage to chase Yuki on the streets at that time. Cussing his stupid attitude instead pensive in a car parked on the side of the road. He should go home and talk to Yuki one eye, solving their problems despite ending up in a fight.

I don't know when Keven hated the talk of Yuki who accused him of cheating. Not to mention that Yuki asked for a divorce which miraculously made Keven unwilling. What else plus Yuki's best friend who had embarrassed him in front of many people.

Keven only intended to buy a gift as an apology for always making Yuki cry in silence. Although not spoken because of prestige, but that's the reason Keven actually. His encounter with Alia was not intentional.

The wedding that has entered the 3rd month is nothing special. Opening his pair of eyelids staring at the serene atmosphere of the room, Keven tried to remember what he had done for more than 70 days as Yuki's husband. A crushing blow hits Keven's self-esteem, as his answer is nothing he does for Yuki. Even just remembering the habits of Yuki he was not able to.

In Keven's mind, in addition to waking up early to prepare all the needs for himself and at night when going to sleep to silence each other, Keven could not remember any memories of Yuki. As if going through a futile marriage, Keven realizes he is guilty and uses the love of Yuki he already knows to cover up his bad image and keep Alia and Saka's relationship intact.

Yuki is indeed Keven's choice, but Keven's heart is never dear to Yuki. Either nothing or nothing, but Keven always denies it and does not want to open his heart to hurt again.

If Saka had not made a fuss at Keven's house while accusing himself of being a player, perhaps the bond between Keven and Yuki would never have been formed. Maybe even Keven doesn't want to know Yuki anymore. It was enough that Keven hurt Yuki, but with other women he always preferred to be indifferent rather than taking the step of scraping the fragile side.

If Keven is asked regretfully, of course Keven regrets having involved Yuki. Ending up with her own tormented self, if time can be repeated, Keven will never trap Yuki.

It is vividly recorded how Keven seized the opportunity for Yuki's kindness by ostensibly spending the night together and spreading the frenzy on Yuki's personal social media. Keven successfully launched his intention to prove the presence of women he loved in Mama Agni, Saka and the people in his neighborhood.

Without Keven realizing himself, Yuki drowned in a pit of ridicule and ridicule. And because of this, both families urge both of them to get married without being denied. What else is Papa Gibran holding Keven accountable without commenting on Yuki's explanation.

Yuki's tears rarely drip while with Keven, but the pain is not bad because Yuki can not spill everything. The only way to vanish tightness squeezes the chest, scratches scratch the heart and bogeman destroys common sense is just tears. Now not dry of grief, Yuki has been given the added bonus of slapping visible reality through the truth of his family's story that is no less painful.

“Why don't you go home? You can go without permission first. Your husband just called Mama to ask you to pick up a call from her.” Said Mama Maria ketus, nagging Yuki who sat sweetly stirring lunch on her plate. Sop vegetable soup that was still clear turned turbid due to rice that slowly eroded. Though Mama Maria deliberately used her work break ration to go home to spend a moment with her son.

Stopping the movement of her hand, Yuki looked at the face of the Mama as if demanding the truth. “He knows I'm here, Ma?” Yuki asked Mama Maria with her eyebrows almost linked.

“Tau. Mama tell you.” Mama Maria answered while raising a glass filled with ice.

“Argh.!!” Releasing the spoon in her hand violently, Yuki banged her original back against the back of the chair.

“Why? You have a problem with your husband?” Mama Maria asked, diving into Yuki's vexed eyes.

“For what do you make trouble like this if you finally go back there?” Ask Mama Maria as if frustrated facing her daughter who never did not rent for almost 3 days along with her. After all Mama Maria would not be willing Yuki to have to live with her ex-husband and his new wife.

“Actually Mama ngusir Mama's child right? Did Mama see I was here? Is Mama the same as Papa who already has other children?” Yuki asked with a raised voice. Disappointed, angry, desperate and frustrated Yuki is a deep ponder, but he remains human with emotional turmoil that cannot be fully controlled and muted.

“YUKI!” Snapped Mama Maria with angry glaring eyes.

“Ck!” Puffing in annoyance, Yuki pushed back the chair he was using. Stripping her legs and anger left Mama Maria.

“Sit in your place!!” Tukas Mama Maria with high voice intonation full of orders.

“I'm going to the room, I'm going to bed. This is all a dream and when I wake up tomorrow I still have to wear a blue white uniform.” Yuki said deliberately insinuating her biological mother. The blue white period was the last moment Yuki felt the house filled with warmth.

Sinful even Yuki realized. If you do not remember the affection that Yuki has been getting, then you can be sure he will be angry as it turns out, not staying silent all day and always waiting for certainty.

Yuki was being impudent as well not without reason. It has been since yesterday that both Papa Gibran and Mama Maria have always blamed each other. Yuki who is still shaken is increasingly made a headache with the attitude of throwing accusations at each other his parents. Choosing silence, Yuki hopes to be reborn into a stone.

“Dengerin Mama first, Son!” Mama Maria's voice suddenly softened, staring at her son's faintly trembling back.

“I don't want to hear anything else, Ma. Capek!” Answer Yuki ketus. His hunting breath and raucous voice filled the lunch room that day.

“Can you not think of me as a child here? No Papa, not Mama, everyone blames each other. Please, Ma, Yuki's dizzy now how to.!!” Crouching down to her back while covering her face, Yuki seemed to give up on her next life.

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🎶If it's no new felt

That his presence is worth🎶 (Eh?🧐 Even dangdutan😆)

Thank you everyone who has been waiting for🥰

My habit of lying down ends up being lazy finally leave the laptop staying up until the morning without accompanied by when spoiled🤭