THE WAY YOU LOVE ME

53

my body was sweating, my breathing was heavy.it was hard to wake up and be aware of my dreams...

"have it anyhow, he's your husband! you should go with him!" Thomson said loudly to Cathrine.

"engga! don't let me go with that liar. "believe Papa.. if you don't change. leave Papa! "

"papa!!"

"haaaahhh!!!! " i woke up..

I got up and sat down.

Jimmy woke up and sat down next to me, his face offended by what had happened.

"what's up? you why?" Jimmy patted me on the shoulder.

"engga.

nightmares, yes, dreams that happen when I'm too tired.

Jimmy looked at me questioningly, but I questioned the meaning of my dream.

"jimmy, I had a dream. I had a fight with papa. just because I left your side..... Papa called you my husband.The dream made me cramped. "I told him with a heavy breath.

I am a person who rarely has nightmares, but this time it feels like real. Yes, I can feel this is not just a sleeping flower.

"uhm... it's just a dream flower. don't think too hard.maybe you are tired then meet Papa earlier.so carried away until the dream.. we'll walk.." Jimmy said as he stroked both of my arms.

Jimmy got out of bed, but I wanted to hold back and ask him about my heartbreak..

"Jimmy.

"yes? what's up, honey?" her voice softly replied to me.

I wanted to say, but these lips stopped just like that. locked up without being able to say and speak.

"no... change the bathroom.

"ah, shall we take a bath together? how's it?" his face turned perverted to me.

I immediately frowned, whatever he wanted.just finished we united, already thinking strange - strange.

"just you first, I'll catch up later. "I'm lying back down.

why do women like to find answers to their heart's questions? even though they knew it, it only made them hurt.

Tal how long Jimmy's been out of the bathroom. I also woke up immediately.

"Hurry, clean yourself up... " Said Jimmy.

"Jimmys.... I'd like to ask.... " I make a heavy voice.

Jimmy sat down in front of me, stroking my hair.

"Are we really not getting married? Even though we've been living together for the next few years?" My face glared at Jimmy.

I swear, I cursed myself for my expression back then.

Like someone who has no self-respect.

"Uhm.... " Jimmy then sat down to get close to me.

"We make this short and easy for you to understand Cathrine..... Me, in my home country. My family is very influential. Especially in the economy and stability of the country.... Where, honestly I ran away here... I want to find my own way to my future.....

Marriage, we'll talk about it next time..."

"Then what does this have to do with me?" I scrunched my forehead.

Complicated to me understand, jimmy scratched his head. It was like finding solutions and answers that I could easily understand.

"I cannot marry a woman of ordinary social status. If with ordinary social status, at least he is smart and high value.... To be worthy and worthy of my country there... "

Whahuh? High value? I looked up and nodded my head. Jimmy then stroked my head.

"I hope you understand.... I'm glad to be with you.. L'm... " Jimmy said with a look at me.

"I take a shower first.... " I cut Jimmy.

I stood up and walked towards the bathroom. I closed the door and locked it from the inside.

Then I looked at myself from the mirror. False straight hair, face with big cheeks.

How valued? Maybe my path is just Jimmy's mistress.

Why is there pain in my chest? It feels tight and tears.. Why should I get out!

I removed it, and then I cleaned myself. Letting the water wash my head.

Fresh and relieved even though I just stayed under the shower. Let the water flow freely in my body.

Saddened? I don't know, maybe I'm disappointed in myself.

A few moments later.....

I opened the bathroom door. I tidied up my hair that I had just dried.

Jimmy came up to me, and he looked at me from the mirror in front of me.

He hugged me from behind, and he kissed my hair and closed his eyes.

The cathrine! You can't take your feelings far to this guy.

His gentle touch will be a wound for you later! (I'm talking to myself).

"Let's walk, I miss eating at one of the restaurants in the upper area.... You have a lot of money, right? Treat me yes... " I said.

"Sure, I'll wait in the lobby.. Don't dress up for long, I hate to see thick makeup... " Jimmy said.

Then he kissed my forehead and left me.

I chose to use a simple salem dress. My clothing collection is now more dress just above my knee.

All flat Jimmy's choices. Indeed I also feel comfortable, even though I know the price is not cheap.

I prepared and tidied myself up. I cleaned up a little bit of our bed.

Then I followed Jimmy down to the Lobby.

When the elevator opens, I look for where Jimmy is.

Apparently he's on the couch by the door. But who is the woman next to him?

The woman was beautiful, with a sharp nose and white skin. I think he's of middle eastern descent.

They speak familiarly. I see Jimmy laughing together. If they look good, they deserve to be together.

I ventured to approach them. Jimmy was aware of my presence, but not the woman.

"Alma, meet her name Cathrine. He's with me now... " Jimmy introduced myself.

I gave my hand so we could shake hands. However, Alma only sees me cynically.

"Uhm.... Alma.. He's with me for a long time... So I hope you guys get to know each other... Cathrine, sit down..." Jimmy pulled me to sit next to him.

"Greetings to Alma.... " I said kindly.

Both of his eyes glared at me hearing me call out to Alma.

"Uhm... Alma..." Jimmy said while giving the code to Alma.

"I'm sorry, it might be weird for Alma. We are friends from childhood, it happens that he is also a representative of the country here.. It is a coincidence that we meet here... " Said Jimmy.

It seems Jimmy understands the situation. Then bellboy comes, he gives Jimmy the keys.

Jimmy stood up and walked away from us. It's just the two of us now, I feel like a court.

"Cathrine.... A name too good for a woman like you. I remind you, Jimmy will only be with women who are worthy and level with him. So, as long as you still think he exists... Enjoy..." Alma said to me.

"You mean? Uhm... I'm the same Jimmy won't be together forever... " I answered plainly.

"obvious.. I've memorized Jimmy. Enjoy it, because he will be with me. We were married from our birth... So, I hope you know yourself... Excuse um... " Alma left me.

I saw him approaching Jimmy. His body language whispers with Jimmy, trying to look friendly with Jimmy.

Jimmy backed away from her and replied with a smile.

They stand together well. Have the same high posture, smooth and harmonious face.

"Let's go... " Jimmy's waking up to my daydream.

I nodded and followed Jimmy. Our rental car is ready in the front lobby.

Jimmy sat up and held the wheel. I sat next to him.

I tried to smile and put on a good face - fine. Our journey began, a simple Jazz song accompanied us.

It feels light with a city atmosphere that is not crowded. Jimmy enjoyed the rhythm of the music. Not with me, my mind goes out. Thinking of things that I myself do not understand.

*********

We sat at an Asian restaurant. Located in the upper area, visitors can enjoy views of the city and the stars in the sky.

I've loved this place since the High School farewell. A quiet and beautiful place in my opinion.

Steaks and some mums accompanied us. Jimmy also seems to like this place.

I deliberately chose a place near the window. I looked more at the streetlights and the house below us.

"Do you like this place?" Jimmy opened.

"Very.... I felt calm even though I only saw the lights below..." My answer.

Jimmy seemed to know the hardness of my heart. He then held my right hand.

I reflexively looked into Jimmy's hands.

"Cathrine, I'll tell you slowly.. Maybe what Alma said bothered your mind... " Jimmy said softly.

"Obviously, which woman does not feel insulted by what she does.I am poor, but I am not that low."

"I'm sorry, we were actually in a matchmaking match from our birth... It was common with political marriages, until the end.. Alma ran away from the country, she went and married a man in another country...."

"Then? Why should he be rude to me?" I asked back.

"I don't understand what I heard...Their marriage is over, and Alma wants to get engaged to me again... But, I just said I was married.I also do not know, why could meet at the hotel earlier..." Jimmy said casually.

"Neither lie that time... You fit in better than me.... That woman can be accepted by your family... " I answered cynically.

"No... I don't want to, I'm not a toy and my family doesn't want us to be together..Great humiliation for my family Cathrine..." Answer Jimmy casually.

"It's Jim, I'm lazy to talk about that woman... The point is if you want to be together again, let me know. Let me be prepared for everything.I don't want to be the sickest one. " I answered while letting go of Jimmy's hand.

"You're jealous, right? because you said it hurt if I went back to Salimah..." Ask Jimmy.

"No... Make what? We are only together with a clear purpose.... Where we don't need to use our hearts... " I answered firmly.

"No... You must be jealous... Baby, be honest with your heart... " Jimmy teased me.

"Here you go, let's eat the way again. I miss this little town corner. "my face turned a little red.

Then we finished our food. It was supposed to taste good, but this atmosphere made me lose my appetite.

On the way, we were silent. Only the music from the radio accompanied us.

"Cathrine, where are you going?" Jimmy looked at me from the tail of his eye.

"...... " I choose to be quiet and upset.

"You still mad about that? Why and what is my fault? The fact is that my family is like that... Anyway, I will still choose you... Nevermind! Don't be quiet like that..." Jimmy spoke with certainty.

"I'm sorry, maybe I'm being too sensitive.... Approaching my monthly period... You're not wrong Jimmy, that's the fact.. I alone cannot accept my existence as it should.... "

Then we were just as silent. Jimmy might be tired of my bad qualities.

But I do believe one day.. He will surely be overwhelmed too.

In this relationship, it seems that I have to give up a lot. He's way above me, I'm still a child.

Studying.. Understands... Understood...

********

we arrived at the basement hotel. Jimmy hasn't turned off the car engine yet.he shuts up and rests his head on the seat.

"Cathrine.. I hope you can understand me. Our age difference is not a barrier. However, try to understand me. how I pressured you also for our relationship later... "

I looked straight at Jimmy.

"i just want you to be successful. so I can take it home to my country. I understand the process must not be easy and smooth.... "

then Jimmy took my hand.he kissed my hand gently.

"i'm scared and am I capable... I wasn't so smart in school....to be successful quickly, is that possible? " i bow my head.

"honey.. I'm sure you can. We can definitely get through it. slowly we will get to know each other and let the process go what it is... "

his voice made me calm, for a moment I felt that I had to succeed.I was the first child all the pedestals must be on my shoulders.

"Jimmy, what is the heartfelt call from your heart? I'm just a village woman.I can't tell which ones are fake and real.... "

"ahm... you're not saying we live together without ties... yasudah let's date...what's wrong with calling dear?" jimmy asked back.

"what about people's opinions? is it possible that you introduced me as a lover.??"

Jimmy was silent for a moment, he played the steering wheel in front of him. I don't understand why he's silent.

but I remember someone once saying to me.

If in a relationship, you ask for clarity and he is silent.

"no need to answer Jimmy. I already know your answer. which is clear only we know..beyond it the superiors and subordinates only." I said with a vibrating tone.

I said with tears in my eyes. I don't want Jimmy to feel big-headed.he would think I like and have feelings for him.

"that's not how Cathrine is. You don't understand my situation, I'm trying to make you understand in easy language..."

"already, let's go down... "

I opened the door and got out of the car.

I walked towards the elevator in the Basement.I saw Jimmy overtaking me with an emotional look.

the elevator opened. I went inside with Jimmy.