THE WAY YOU LOVE ME

18

Mom and I came out of the room. I saw papa eating voraciously.sober side dishes that I bought at the stall.

I was thinking, how poor is my family? until the shopkeeper just happens like that.

but I am relieved, at least one debt they have paid. The rest of the time is still answered.

Mama then took the medicine and put it in front of papa. This is a sight I never met.

mama almost never served papa. take the role as a wife who serves the husband, even though only take food and drink. that afternoon Mama also ate beside papa.

I smiled looking at them. The scenery that I rarely see.but I'm happy because things have changed.why not? as long as they can get along I feel calm.

I sat and watched tv. The morning show was a rumor about the artist. I actually did not like the gossip show.

if it does not discuss about money, achievements or just ordinary sensations, in order to be called by television stations. sometimes artists must be willing to make cheap gossip so that they are famous.

but, why don't I? am I being too naive.?

wait a minute.just like I know the woman on tv.

"Yes... The girl initials J was seen in several photos circulating. There were those who watched him in and out of the house of the senior artist Budiawan... Is there a connection between the two of them?"

The woman looks to bow her face. From a few pictures, it was as if I had seen the woman. But who is it?

the clothes he wore several times I was like a stranger.Hair shape and his bag...

"The senior artist seemed relaxed as the media crew confirmed. Hm... Is there really a connection between them? With a very large age difference.. Let's look at the viewers.. " Tv presenter said at the time.

"Jesssy?? " I said slowly, yes I'm sure he is!

only Jessy who styled her long hair like that. her bag, I'm sure it was Jessy!

but, not that he did not know the artist. ah, surely I have missed the news.my friend, since when he likes men aged.

his age is even the same as my parents.It is not natural in my opinion.

"Sister, you don't want to be as old as that bangka. surely it's just a toy.what's just for the gossip so that women ride it...Mama sincerely you are not an artist rather than having to date a man older than your father... Isn't that right pa?" Mama said while eating that morning.

"...... " Papa just kept quiet and looked at the tv, but papa's gaze was cold when he saw the senior artist

"That's yes, it must have been taken to bed so that it could play a movie with the Budiawan. He's from the time of the famous young mama scandal and likes to play girls.." Mama seemed excited about the senior artist.

I leaned my cheek against my palm.I noticed the mama who was so fiery - fire was talking about it.

uh, I see papa's face doesn't like what you're saying..

He slightly kicked the dining table. "Why talk about it! As if you would understand that man!" Papa spoke in a high tone.

"if you're still looking for that guy, go!!" say papa in a high tone.

Then papa left us. Then I looked at my mom. Mama scrunched her forehead and shook her head.

"Mama anyway, use the event talking really spirit.judging people as if to say, Kaya just know... " I glanced at the tv.

I was upset until papa was angry. which I was afraid, if something happened to the heart of papa. just this time papa was angry loudly as long as he was sick.

My mother approached me and sat down next to me. Mama peeked if there was still papa. like mama wanted to convey something secret.

"Your mother knew the artist. It used to be a Mama's job in the city. Just that he used to be poor. handsome but did not have money, where mama wants...That's why mama chose your father who is well-established in his work.... Denger, your papa was once the head of the largest newspaper in the country.... Keep this... Grandma is your grandfather.... "

"Rigged and still bloody descendants of the king?? Mom, that mom has talked rich so many times like me. What's it doin? In fact? Now we're hard too, right? The wheel of life is muter ma... Mama also why did it start.. Mama nyesel married papa?!" I cut off mama's talk.

I swear in the name of God, I was angry to hear the words of mama. papa is sick in a falling condition.Mamma even think like this. continue the meaning of marriage what??

"Little.... But that's not what people say.. Yeah, how else.... Just that mama... " Mama still feels not accepted by the situation.

"Mama nyesal? Mama also has my son with Ghea. Ma's.... Denger yes, what makes us more difficult is not papa's pain! But the mother who could not accept the situation! The more mama gini yes, the more difficult we are!

try if mama just a little want to care about Papa, I'm sure ma, we're in a state of gini. as long as mama knows, I also do not want to go back to the city. I'm tired ma, ma, morning work until morning.... For what? for the sake of being able to go home..........

If you could say Niesel. I can also say, nyesel came home if you just saw the house getting hotter!"

I was upset and left my mother.I went into my room.I cried looking at the glass.

I don't know what's on my mom's mind. She doesn't want to have a kid as smart as Ghea? Like me?

I let my tears out...What makes my dad sicker...

Has it been true all this time, mama never gave comfort in their household?

mama has never held its function as a wife and mother.mama is only busy with office and business.

any business I've never seen, only I saw him go out with an office friend after work.

me and Ghea from childhood only in foster care by papa. when mama came home late, he did not even ask me if I had eaten?

did I miss him?

do I feel sad and heartbroken when played?

how was your day, son? want mama to hug?

there was no. and there was never any such question.Mama went straight into the room and went to sleep.

if we sulk want to be spoiled, then we must be ready to be scolded harshly..

I used to hug Ghea back then, maybe that's why she's so dependent on me to this day.

what's wrong if we need a mother figure?

figure with affection and kisses....

But, I must admit.papa was so strong restraint and his feelings. Now little I realize, papa is sick of his mind that was confused because of the circumstances.

for years they were together. I'm sure papa knows, if mama only wants papa's treasure.

he was willing to get sick and survive, for years...

once I thought, I asked to be born, but they made me and Ghea born into the world.

so... What has changed??

*******

Evening arrived, I waited for travel pick up on the terrace.The weather was quite bright and the moon seemed round and luminous thanks to the sunlight.

Ghea was sitting next to me with her textbook.one of the lessons I hated during my 3 years of school.

"Sister.... My brother who went home. Let Ghea be lonely... Ghea sad if haru denger mama equally papa fight....Ghea just curled up with a cry.Sometimes Ghea tired of crying until he overslept...." Say Ghea spoiled to me.

My sister can't lie to me. He always said what he saw and heard. Thank goodness he could be a watchdog for mom and dad.

I sighed, in my heart I actually did too. I just want to be close to my family, more precisely with Papa and Ghea.

Papa never taught me to hate mama. Papa always said that mama loves us. Papa always talk if mama is a good woman and hard worker.

mama is also a strong woman, she wanders like me, and that is what makes them meet.

for me....Merantau not as good as papa's story about their meeting. Lonely established man with an innocent country girl who loves money above all else...

what I'm experiencing right now is...Living freely in uncertainty about what tomorrow will be, what will there be work.

Maybe for others, the future is so blinding to the eye. Bright and planned everything.

For me, I can eat today and just give money to my family is a beautiful thing...

Not many ideals - my love, I just want to work in an office with a big salary. go home the night with solitude, but can see Ghea reached his ideals.

Not even thinking of being a mistress like some people I know. took shortcuts in something ridiculous for me.

I'm not a hypocrite, I never thought of anything like that. I also don't believe in my physique.

Those who want to be a mistress, happy and live well in the moment. Ls it? What about the future?

Take refuge in the word marriage, being a second wife. I don't think I'd do that. What would guarantee me, if I only got the money at this point.

I looked at my sister who was still studying seriously.

"Your grandfather prayed... Let brother go home quickly... Sister finally horrified her own mother equally papa indeed often fight... Brother actually wants to take you off deck.. So you can focus on learning... Wait for brother deck... Brother will take you to school in town. Let you be a great doctor.... " I said to Ghea. My eyes were glazed over with the glass, restraining the day.

I speak sincerely from my heart. I no longer think about love. For me, Ghea has to live better than me.

the disappointment and pain that Michael left behind can be so deep. the first time I felt that people said Love.but also I immediately felt pain because of Love ...

"Promise yes brother.... " Ghea put her little finger in front of me.

We also tied the promise of the little finger. "Promise Deck.... "

Ding... Ding... (Car horn sound).

"Travel sister is coming.. mama!! Paa!! Brother is leaving!!" Ghea shouted inward.

a blue travel car stopped in front of me. The driver got down and picked up my bag, he put it in the back trunk.

it seems that I was the last one picked up by him. All the benches have been filled, except the front bench.

Mom and Dad came out to greet me. I looked at them, I hugged them both.

I whispered, "please don't fight, Kasian Ghea... I beg you for Ghea.. Brother will quickly go home and help mom papa.... Praying brother.... "

Then I let go of my embrace. I smiled at them both.I loved them, however much my mother.

They were embarrassed by my words. Papa patted me on the shoulder and said. "Papa always protects you, my father promises that no matter what happens, you will always be in your heart... "

I was stunned for a moment by papa's words. 'what does papa mean?'

But I don't want to be too pinched and just nod.

Mama looks silent and holds back tears. But I don't understand what he made her want to cry. The ugly thought inside me instead said. 'isn't mama glad I went to town? then I can give more money to my mom...'

because there's something I understand. Ever since I came here he's been saying only about money and money.

I am the first and oldest child, but it is fair to leave everything to me..

I do not want to wait long, I also go up to travel. this time I sit in the front seat beside the driver.my trip is always at night. it was usually so that we arrived early in the morning and there was no traffic on the way.

the driver put in the gear, a sign we were going to start the night trip...

the car slowly began to move away. Ghea he looked so sad.

it made me want to take her with me.

hopefully the time comes when Ghea can go with me. get a better life, also teach mama.

teach that there is a man who loves his family and mama.

love... what is this million?

the trip tonight is so shahdu.music played by the driver more to deliver me to sleep.

my head is heavy...

either I am drunk on land or my head is tired....

I have to be ready...

ready to work and try again, find a halal job and become the backbone of the family..