THE WAY YOU LOVE ME

1

This morning I opened my eyes. My head feels heavy, like I cried last night.

I tried to get up, next to me was Esyeh. A pure-bred woman who speaks Mandarin fluently.

He slept so well. Sometimes I hear his loud snoring. I sat down and started closing my eyes.

I pray to God and the universe. So that today there is a production house that will accept me. So I can help with medical expenses and pay my parents' debts.

"Cath, how are you awake?" Esyeh. Right after I prayed.

"Song cik.. Yes, I wake up early, let our fortune not be taken by the chicken." I started to stretch my arm muscles.

"Crazy lick tired lhoh. Semalem filming so extras (audience passing by), back at 4. You even woke up.. " Esyeh was still lying down and picking up her phone.

He also designed his cell phone. I was busy picking clothes from my bag. I took my wallet and opened it.

Like peeling a red onion. It feels sad, there are only 2 pieces of 50k rupiah denomination. I have to skimp until the end of the week.

I have to go casting today. I chose a polite dress.

From the invitation I received, they needed the role of a college boy. With a mixed face and height of 155cm. I think I met all the requirements.

I stood up and took a shower. Esyeh was busy with her phone. He speaks Mandarin and Indonesian. I don't know what he said, but his voice was loud. Where no one can hear, how he speaks out loud.

I got out of the room and headed for our public bathroom. I live in a nice hostel. There are only 2 rooms. Aunty and her family in the upstairs room. So the area below can be for us.

The other room is in my friend Jessie's house. She is very beautiful, tall, white and natural brown hair. If I'm casting with him, I'm an assistant to an artist. That aura of her beauty could sedate anyone.

Actually, I was included in 1 management artist. But they don't really care about us. We also got castings from fellow children in the camp.

We had to pay a pretty expensive camp rent. By sleeping, sharing everything. I tried the first month. Yet....

I lost my money, and I also slept inappropriately. That's why I decided to save up from my little shoot for the hostel.

There was a dream in my imagination. I'm not an artist but an important person and make my parents proud.

Dream of the people of the region to pit their fate in the city.

******

"Cath, so go, right? Renvi I'm asking to pick us up. You brought the same photo of make up, right?" Jessie has prepared with everything.

"Jes... Oh yeah, sure we don't pay what - what? Cook me that way. She's your boyfriend, bring a car too. I took the angkot.. " I was holding my handbag tight.

"Caths.. You know, I never did it with him. He is a geer. Anyways.. What are dating for? Ribet Cath's.. " Jessie smoothed a thin bangs on her forehead.

I just nodded. Not long after Renvi came. He brought quite a lot of cars in production in this city. With a red color that I think is a bit less okay.

But never mind... I also hitchhiked.

We also started our journey. But I feel that Renvi does not like me.

He was silent and glanced sharply at me.

On the way, they did not invite me to talk. Maybe if two people get together, that when is a mosquito. That's my...

"Jes... It will be my home first, right? Mama wants to see you, I told you again go sm you... Famous artist. " Renvi looked at Jessie.

"Huh? Oh I forgot.. But the same Cathrine yes, you can not dong I dinggalin he so.." Jessie put on a big face.

"Ouch... Even ngajakin... " Renvi's voice slowly, I can hear clearly.

"Then, I promise you with me. He'll pick me up... " I'm ending their argument.

Actually I have a friend of Gerald's. But he will also marry. There's no way I'm troubling him. Never mind, take the bus I can still. I once came home alone on a bus and an angkot.

At that time, I was kicked out of the set. Because I was late and I went casting somewhere else. At that time, I had a role with dialogue.

Which means I'll get a good salary. Jessie and I escaped casting to the area around my set.

The outcome?

Big zero .....

No agency contacted us...

We're almost desperate...

How I got back to my hometown. My parents' debt was a lot.

I'm their first child, I still have my sister to pay for school...

*********

That afternoon I drank my own alcohol in my room. I deliberately moved to another room, Esyeh's voice made me dizzy.

His loud voice was like a loudspeaker that somehow he could not speak slowly. Even if just a little, his voice was so loud..

Jessy's gone for a filming call. I am alone with this drink and a cigarette.

I opened my wallet, how much money I still have. I haven't filled my stomach with heavy food from last night. It is now at 2 pm.

My breakfast jessy gave me a slice of her whole wheat bread. This afternoon I have to eat something, at least a day of eating is enough.

"Mak!! Only 20 grand? What am I eating? Tomorrow eat my apapula. The drinking water is gone, O God..... " I drown looking at the floor of my room.

I tried to contact my parents. Hopefully they can still give me a little money, at least this week. I need to cast and eat me.

"Hallo... Mama...?"

"Yes Cath, why? You have a filming call? How can I still call my mom? So, what movie did you enter? How's there?"

Should I be honest if this kid fails?

"Ma... Cath again no calls. Cath's money is also out, ma, can you send ? Later Cath change aja aja cath debt with mama, Cath need ma... "

"You're shooting from yesterday not getting paid? Where's the money? You must be wasteful there. That is why Nabung Cath. You mama knows, papa mama has no money. Adek you just haven't paid school, why do you really want to ask for money with mama.!! "

"Ma... Cath belom eat ma.... My money for a metromini ride, a public bus ride is the same for ma... I eat only 2x a day... Honorku is just 30rb ma.. A week Cath dapet only 150rb, morning to morning work ma..."

"Yes! You go home here. Help the old man cake, what work are you. Shame on the old man. Mama told the people you went there to be an Artist. Make me ashamed. Do not you want to go home if you succeed in bringing money!!"

My phone's at the break up mama. I seem to have to fast for now.

I felt my ears, my hands stopped at the earrings I was wearing. Stiffened, what if I just sell it. It's nice to pay for the hostel, food and my castle fare.

"All right, I'll wait for Jessy. I went back to the gold shop. I can pay him the water debt... "

I waited for Jessy while watching tv. Funny show until the soap opera that makes me sleepy. Either it's hunger that makes me sleepy, or it's hours to sleep.

Jessy goes into the room, she sees Cathrine asleep curled up. Beside her was her cell phone accompanying her. Jessy saw a dumpster, no trace of food. Looks like this friend of his has not eaten anything.

Fortunately, he was carrying a large package of food. He put the bag down and woke up Cathrine.

"Cath .... Wake up.... Cath.... "

Cathrine tried to open her eyes. His stomach was empty making him limp. There was no energy at all to open his eyes.

"jessy... Have you returned? "

"Cath..lo sleep from when? ni gw bawain chicken penyetan lo. yok we eat together.. "

"waaaaa!!! jesss thanks ya. gw belom lunch from this lunch. "ups why I'm even honest. shame myself to jessy...

"continue? you don't eat? ato money lo abis? I can minjemin time ... do not eat, if you are sick how? the doctor is expensive here. You must be healthy Cathrine! "

I just silently looked at the chicken that was still in a neat package.

"cath!! do you cry after all?"

"uh huh?! yes Jess. gw just kungkan kalo pinjem lo. drinking water only 10rb aja gw belom pay jess. cook gw nambah, hehe.. jess.. eat yuk gw laper bang ni... "

"yeah let's go eat. lo have to be full eat this staple. tomorrow nyiapin himself, ni I have casting info. tomorrow we just mgebis ya.. renvie can not nganter us.. " jessy opened the package and it belonged to Cathrine.

"jess... Doesn't Renvie not like if you're casting ngajakim gw? and he'd love your friends if you went. Even that's Casting, too... "

"yes, that's a trait that I don't fit. he doesn't want to nolong people.engga want if parents succeed than him.and he is also possessive, this is what I hate from him. I went with Adam... "

I was silent for a moment. "Adam who's jess? "

"have I told you a story? Adam is a guy I know from BCD station. when I was filming yesterday, his face is rich middle eastern people that... "

I ate it so well, that the rice I ate stayed a little. Jessy is shaking - the ring is looking at me.

"pelan aja Cath. later sprains lo difficult napass... "

yes, at this time Jessy who understands me the most. she is alone with me, but we are the same to meet on the stage of the star election.she has a big star aura.

how's me?

yes look at it, not a lot of PH glanced at me. My face is not oriental, but also not the face of Indonesia. for them it is difficult to find a role for me.

jessy almost every day gets a call to be a figure. whereas I? a follower for people on the location where jessy went I was always there.

once I was living in one corner of the location. I saw Jessy from afar was having a dialogue. Beside me there are things Jessy.

"take! you're the Assiten mbak over there huh? the rich bule?" ask a team from the film.

"engga mas.. I temennya, but I have no work at the boarding house so I come along. who knows need additional people so mas.. hehee... "

that guy was watching me with a laughing face. "tambak. here just use fullus if you want to enter. Temen you only hockey can enter without dating the director."

"did you cook anyway?" I was wrong to hear that man.

"do you see the mbak there? who sat down and approached the director."

"iya mas. my age, uh younger like him. "

"well!! he was every filming must be called. because he was also the director when abis filming. babe he did not understand what his future would be."

"mending the same I cuy. ugly gini but loyal. "saut one of the people who holds the cable roll beside Cathrine.

"this industry also has dirty games." I'm talking cliche.

"don't be a hypocrite mbak, this is a natural thing.all want to be an artist.but not all have hockey and street rich mbak.... "

I was silent and lowered my head, should I sell myself like that child. In order for me to earn money, at least replace what my parents spent...?

"snake!! can you be a figure there? so the baby sitter who pushed the train but later pretended to fall." astrada (assistant director) approached me.

"can mbak!! can be.!!" my face full energy spirit like a battere that runs out in this.

"you've been there to the wardrobe section saying you're so Asih. his clothes are enough if you really are."

"ready Ma'am! thanks to you...!!"

I went straight to the wardrobe. I was very happy and heard the direction from Astrada about my acting. I have to try my best!!

most importantly there was at least 50-100k of money I could receive.

......

"take 23.." said the Clipper carrier.

"camera.... Action!" director shouts.

"ayargh!!!! Ahhhhh!!!!" her baby carriage was hit and Cathrine slammed while carrying a baby doll.

"BUT!!!!!!"

I tried to stand up, there was no foam for me to slam. I gave a doll to one of the crew.

"repeat cake! lo kebantingnya more sick again, dramatic as if lo will die that you know.can it?" the director told me.

"can sir.. can really... "I pout to take back the doll.

"take 24!" clipper is installed.

"Action!"

I walked casually, but the car was speeding.I immediately took a doll from the train.The car was directed toward me, but strange as if I accidentally slammed and rolled on the ground.

it hurt a lot, like it was true that I was hit. My hand seemed to be sprained, I tried to stand up and put my clothes rolled up a little.

"good! it's real, great! come on, the next scene." The crew immediately left me.

"mbak's sick?" astrada.

"funnel mbak, run out of this my scene at rs keep finished?"

"iya mbak, let's be ready2 on location. "I was also on delivery to the following locations.

fortunately this time I just wait in front of the RS room. My forehead on the pair of plaster that has been given fake blood.

but the real thing is my feet hurt and a little bit hurt, but I can't complain, I can take one step in the scene already proud.