THE WAY YOU LOVE ME

17

I went into the bedroom. Ghea was asleep, her face was tired.I thought what if it was like this. Ghea must be depressed.

I took my black wallet from the bag. I opened it, there are still some 100k pieces. I counted it, I think it is enough for me to go home to Jakarta.

I picked up my phone and pressed the call to my Travel subscription and then I got out of the room.

"hallo, ma'am, would like to book a trip for Friday night.."

***********

"have you found a friend? replacement Mira?"

"hmm... Until at any time, there will be no substitute for Mira. she only has 1 in my life."

"actually, I just want to introduce my friend Cathrine. she's a kind and smart woman, which obviously she doesn't want a lot of things. she just needs a job.what can help her?" Anne's voice spoke on Jimmy's phone call.

"job? just look for it in the daily newspaper.much there, why come to me?!" jimmy's voice went high.

"it's okay, I don't want women like my friends to be games, especially in the city we rarely get to meet good people... "

"Anne... Stop taking care of your friend's life. If she needs money, I'll call and use her services only. Like other women who come to me for financial problems... "

calls were cut off.

looks like Jimmy really hates life partner problems.The pain of losing Mira makes him more crazy than anything.

Jimmy turned off his smart notes and put them in his bag and went out of his room.

*********

"That's Anne...It was An.. You don't like that. I think your brother would object too. I don't know him either. So let me try, An.." I spoke on the porch of my house.

that afternoon the weather was a little cloudy. It is now in the rainy season. Anne and I sat down to enjoy a quiet afternoon.

Talking about a future that is still ashes to us.

"But me as a friend you can't be on them. When do you want to work at the Padang restaurant? Don't make you rich and help your family." Anne spoke in a soft voice.

"I know Anne... But, how else. My education is just High School. There's not much I can get. But thanks Anne... You are my best friend..."

I opened both my hands. We hugged, yes, this is our relationship. Close like family and looking after each other.

"Cath, I promise I'll take care of your aunt. Also help Ghea, let her go to real school. You know, you're just the best friend I've got... "

I just nodded...

I don't understand what my plan is from here.

It was obvious that only Yofie would welcome me.

Jessy, maybe she has been successful as an artist.

No one's waiting for me to come back....

There is no .....

******

I was busy putting in some of my clothes. Not something new, but something I rarely wear. Where the color is like new.

This shirt I can use for my casting. Even though I have forgotten my dreams a little.

Not to be an artist, but to be famous and successful. Almost everyone knows me. Being the one who eats alone doesn't need me to sell my stuff.

But not as a comfort woman. To be mere jewels and sought after when men need me.

"Sister.... " Ghea called.

Ghea's voice resuscitated my daydream. I looked at him and smiled.

"Yes deck.... " I rubbed Ghea's cheek.

"Brother should be? This fast gone? Ghea still misses sister. We haven't gottenMall... Not yet the same way buyin Ghea new school bag... " Ghea looked at her bag that had faded in color.

I looked at Ghea's bag. That's the bag I used to wear. Indeed the color has faded, the bottom was thinned.

"Sir, there's a job ... So you have to come back quickly... I promise you I'll send you a bag as soon as Dek.. Sister promise yes.... Adek must learn the right, so keep the scholarship... "

Ghea just bit her lips and nodded. He also lowered his head.

"Sister.... I haven't paid any tuition... Next month I have my semester exam. If you pay... Ghea can't take the exam.... "

I was shocked and took my wallet. I counted the remaining money. I took all and left only 1 sheet of 100rb for me.

I gave it to Ghea. Ghea looked at me with a stern face.

"It's big brother's last money, it looks like it could make you pay school fees. The rest you can make. Brother can't say much. But brother promise... You'll be college deck... "

I grabbed Ghea's right hand. Then I gave the money.

Yes I forced him to accept it. He must accept...!

I continued with some of my clothes. I just brought back my backpack.

Tomorrow night I leave my village. I went back to fighting with a myriad of dramas in the city.

I lay down beside Ghea. He can sleep well. I looked at my sister's face. What a good and smart boy.

I should be able to make Ghea happy. Whatever is happening right now is unfair to him.

I try to keep my eyes closed. But it was as if this heart was heavy closing its eyes. Even accept I have to go back to the city tomorrow.

Comfortable and safe.

That's what I feel in my own home. But I can't be quiet either. How we eat without any income at all.

I try to keep my eyes closed. Until my mind flew high....

Far away....

I saw Jimmy in front of me. He wears his sleepwear. We were in a quiet room.

He approached me, so close that I could hear his breathing. But we can't be like this.

I only knew him a few times. There's not much we've shared as a story. Just know him as a helper and boss at that time. When I was a masterpiece artist.

I opened both my eyes too. The rays of the sun came in from the window of my room. I stretched out my hands, it felt so comfortable.

Apparently I just dreamed of meeting Jimmy. The cold guy was also fun.

I then smiled, remembering how he took me as his friend at the banquet. We acted as lovers. But we don't know each other either.

I got up and closed my eyes for a moment. I prayed and was grateful, I could still open both my eyes. I was still breathing that morning.

I got up and left my room. Wall clock shows at 7 am. Ah... I think Ghea left first.

I'm looking for both of my parents. Papa sat on the porch looking at the yellow and blue bird in front of him.

Mamma..... I didn't see it. Did he go to the market?

"Pa.... Mama where?" I talked to Papa on the front doorstep.

Papa looked at me for a moment, I saw his face was very pale. What the hell's going on?

"Pa... Papa's sick? How papa puke." I'm worried about papa.

"No papa brother... Papa's just a little hungry.. "

"What's? Yaudah papa wait here. Brother to the side first. Brother buyin papa rice mix first..."

I hurried to get my footgear. I carry money in my pants pocket.

I walked half-run to my neighbor. He sold some breakfast. Usually it becomes my subscription to fill my stomach.

"Mom... I want to buy rice with two-pack of eggs.. " I said to the Seller's Mother.

The bespectacled middle-aged woman looked at me cynically. He looked at me sharply. Like something he wanted to say.

"Follow, 20rb. I don't want to be in debt. 100k is your parents' debt. Don't know shame!" Said the seller.

He put the rice in front of me. I was embarrassed, there were some people eating there too.

Am I begging or asking? I bought it, I even brought money.

I took money out of my pants pocket. Some of the money I folded. The plan is to give the rest of this money to my mother.

But this morning's insults I can't stand.

"What is my parents' total debt?!" I spoke back to the shopkeeper.

He opened a book containing numbers and names. I think it was a debt book he recorded.

"It's all the same thing you bought 115k. Pay when?!!" The seller glared at me.

I took 120k, and then I threw it at the table.

"Take that change. Pay off my parents' debts.!"

I left the shop. Very angry and angry in my heart. The man my father helped when he didn't have anything.

It could - it usually makes me embarrassed just because of this packaged rice.

I squeezed my plastic nose. I clenched and held my anger. I rushed home.

I saw my mom coming. But why does my mom look sad?

"Ma... Where's it?" I asked my mom..

"With papa sis.... Have you eaten? Mama hasn't cooked anything.. " Mama looked at me.

I saw my mother holding back her tears.

"Mama why? I thought mom was going to the market... "

Mama just shook her head. I feel like something's wrong. They always cover everything.

"This is me buying rice for my mom. Eat the same as taking medicine. Mama - papa must be healthy, I want to take a shower first.. "

I went inside the house. I took a towel and went into the bathroom.

I just remembered I left without brushing my teeth. It feels like there is less.

I cleaned my body and threw out my head. This flowing water can give

Calmness in my mind.

My head feels so dizzy. I really should be able to take my family away.it seems like the people around me don't like my family.

What's wrong with bankruptcy? Is this why they treat my parents like beggars?

I can still hold back my tears. I don't want to cry about my situation.

I hurried to dry my body. I put on a kimono towel and came out of the bathroom.

"Mama?" I was shocked when I saw my mom at the bathroom door.

"Sister... Mama would say.... "

I seem to know a little about what they cover. We also entered my room. I closed the door and slowly. Don't let me know what my mom is going to talk about.

Mom sat on the bed. I sat facing my mother.

"If mama's story, surely papa will not like and will certainly be angry brother.. But mom can't keep her own .."

I just looked at my mom and smiled.

"Sister... Mom had run out of things at the market. Money has been used by mama to treat papa and repay the interest on the debt in your om. But my mother's capital was exhausted. I was trying to find a loan at the bank.....

But my mother can no longer. The business capital debt from the bank has not been paid off...

Moreover, your papa medicine is all expensive... Mamma.... Forgive me mom and dad. ... " Mama started crying..

"Ma already... It's been.. Mama don't cry... " I moved to sit next to my mom. I hugged my mom and patted her on the shoulder, I hope I can calm her down a bit.

"Mama's already in too much debt... Mama can bring you money to return to the city... Sorry sis.... Sorry mamaa..."

"Ma already... It's been..... My mom is calm, I can still go back to the city. There's still a little money left over.. L'm... I can't help my mom much.. But I asked for my mother's blessing and prayer.... Even though I was from childhood also never in the care of the mother directly... I love my mom, Dad and Ghea.... "

"I'm sorry, son... My mom is not a good mother to you... Mama just thought to meet your money needs... Mamma... My mother felt failed... " Mama hugged me while crying so hard.

"Ma already.. It's been.... I love my mom, no one is late.... It's not too late ma... "

"mama failed to make us not in this condition.mama failed to help keep the business papaa..mama is also too busy looking for money sis, how your time is wasted in order to hunt for money that will eventually run out like this.... "

"already ma... we have to focus on the future ma. passed yes already so massalu. now how papa should be healthy, mama is also healthy and how the future of Ghea.... I can't be the full backbone yet, ma..

pray for me so that I can find a halal fortune for us. I believe the blessing and prayers of mama, surely God hears ma.... "

"yes sister. mama will always pray for you. mama loves you.. mama also loves Ghea.. mama must be strong .. ." answered mama with tears that began to dry.

"that's why my mom is strong, I'm sure you'll be healthy.. Ghea will also focus on learning. and calm ma... mama's children will not fall into the association ma.. I can take care of myself ma.. "I answered my mother and hugged her.

mama's head leaned on me. I let it go, I just believe.it can make mama calm a little.

no matter how I was treated as a child by him. Without him betting his life, I could not exist....

I always thought that time was up for our future.

although, fate and the wheel of our lives cannot guess....

I just want to be a filial son to my parents...