The Monster In Me

No Longer Wanting to Be Human

Adira and Firda meet on the first day of the First High School orientation period. Coincidentally being in the same line of new students. Firda stood right behind Adira who came to the school spiritlessly.

How could he be excited, if in the end he would just go back to living a boring life with people who would never understand him?

Adira has been determined to finish High School quietly, just like when in Junior High School.

Is correct. In the end he was able to graduate without any bad records. Of course thanks to the role of his family that ‘honored’.

Until suddenly the girl with the twinkle of an eye excitedly patted him on the shoulder slowly.

“Hai! I'm Firda! Nice to meet you!”

Almost Adira snorted loudly hearing that. He remembered how disturbed he was by Firda's words. ‘How can he be happy to meet me if he does not know me at all?’

However, then he remembered Adnan's pleas that so wanted him to have friends. Therefore, with great force, Adira pulled both corners of her lips to form a smile that might look strange and creepy.

“I Adira. Hopefully we can become classmates later.”

‘Because I don't want to bother getting acquainted with other students,’ Adira added inwardly.

Starting from there, Adira found that Firda turned out to be a teenager who was very happy to make friends. Not only with Adira, Firda greeted many children until maybe dozens of students knew his name in just one day. It was all something Adira would never be able to do.

Adira herself is silent every time Firda invites her to expand her friendship. “I don't need a lot of friends,” Adira replied with a ketus whenever Firda forced her.

Hearing that, Firda would smile very brightly. Assuming that Adira feels enough just to be friends with him.

Maybe because of that, Firda decided to become a best friend until Adira wanted to admit him as a friend.

Firda was ready to defend Adira whenever anyone spoke ill of her friend. In lessons that require a group, Firda tries to invite many other students to be in the same group as Adira. Although the girl is one of the smartest students, it is often difficult for Firda to find members of the group, as many people feel intimidated by Adira.

Although she was always silent and accepting, Adira knew very well all that Firda had sacrificed for her. Therefore, Adira no longer shuts herself down and accepts Firda to be her best friend.

Ignoring some of the things that were holding his heart.

Firda, who is already comfortable being Adira's only closest friend, often behaves arbitrarily. He begins to advise, rule, and even control Adira's choices under the pretext that he has more experience dealing with others than Adira. Firda begins to assume that Adira will only get stuck in trouble if there is no him.

“I really just want to give this chocolate to Adira! Why can't I?” ask Karsa when OSIS at school they celebrate Valentines Day in February.

“Cannot. Because I know you have a certain intent!” Firda snapped at the young man while holding his chest. Standing behind Adira who then focused his concentration only on the book in front of him.

However, of course he could not, because the conversation of Firda and Karsa sounded quite loud.

Karsa let out a rough breath before kicking the table nearby. “Of course I have a goal! I want to show my attention to him through this chocolate!” the youth protest. “Now, can you step aside and let me face Adira head-on? It's up to him whether he'll accept my chocolate or not. How long will you act like his bodyguard?”

Firda's face flushed red as she looked back to ask Adira for a response. A tired Adira could only relax her shoulders. Completely want to ignore Karsa, Firda, and other friends who are watching everything.

Though deep down, Adira begins to feel happy. Firda's attitude that likes to curb is sometimes stifling, but Adira thinks Firda is too like himself as a friend to behave like that.

‘His brother Adnan is right. There is no harm in being friends with others.’

Apparently, it took a zombie attack for him to realize that true friendship never existed.

It was vividly reflected in his memory, how Firda left him without hesitation in a time when he was in desperate need of help. At a time when he was very desperate, because his beloved brother was losing his life not far from him.

All humans are the same.

Starting from Irwan, his father, who only attach importance to his own good name and power, to Firda who turns out all this time just pretend to act like a good friend.

All humans are the same.

They will only move on the basis of their own interests. Adira just realized, that Firda deliberately monopolized himself which is quite popular so that Firda himself came to fame.

All humans are the same.

Hurt people in various ways. Either directly, or indirectly. Physically, or mentally. Secretly, or openly.

Now Adira glanced one more time towards Firda who no longer trembled in fear. It seems, the position of Adira who is tied up strongly makes Firda's fear disappear. The girl that Adira had considered a former best friend was now looking at him expressionlessly.

Adira swore that she had seen one corner of Firda's lips drawn upwards.

‘Kak. I'll retract my words.’ Adira closed her eyes while imagining Adnan's figure. ‘Kakak wrong. I don't need to be friends. Living while relating to others is troublesome and terrible. Humans are the most dangerous creatures because the contents of their hearts are not easy to guess.’

When Adira re-opened her eyes, she saw everyone still staring at her. ‘They are all united just out of fear. At least their lives are threatened, they will not hesitate to sacrifice others. Why live with such an abominable creature? I no longer want to be the same creature as them.’

Tears dripped from the corner of the girl's eyes, but her hands were still held back so she couldn't wipe them. Finally, Adira could only resignedly let her face get wet with tears as she laughed at herself.

In contrast to his current expression, Adira really wanted to laugh at him. He began to realize how ridiculous he was who initially thought that he had become a monster because he contracted an alien virus from zombies.

In fact, since the first time he was a human who bore a lot of frustration. Look for opportunities to act aggressively without hindrance.

Looking for an opportunity to destroy it all.

And now, he's gonna do it. With or without Alpha Cerebrum.

Brak!

The girl slammed her body until the bond just slipped away. Leave severe scratches on his wrists and feet. But Adira doesn't care. He picks up the heaviest thing he can lift nearby, and starts throwing it in front of Danita and her teens.

Zean jumped up to hold back his movements, but Adira dodged faster.

Everyone's faces stiffened, seeing Adira grinning.

“I'll kill you all!”

***