The Monster In Me

The Despair of a Mother

“Where is this, Dad? A-Adira .. Adira, my poor daughter,” the Goddess in between her cries. The mother-of-two is now sitting limp on the floor of the family room. His head kept his head down because his eyes were no longer able to see the various horrors aired on television. She also continued to hold her husband's hand, trying to gain strength from there. “He must be scared. But .. I as her mother can't do anything. I'm such a lousy mother!”

“Quiet first, Mom. I'm sure the authorities must have acted. Our son will be fine. Adira is a smart girl. He can definitely take care of himself,” entertain Irwan. There was not a single drop of tears on his face that exuded a lot of strength and courage. As the head of the family, he always made sure that he looked reliable to his wife and children. Especially in this kind of situation, with all his ability he tried to control his expression so as not to show his true feelings.

Although in fact, he also desperately wanted to cry like his wife. Irwan also could not bear to want to go berserk and throw the entire nearby item in any direction. He wants to go berserk and spill all the emotions and frustrations that now make him so helpless and inferior.

However, Irwan could not just do all that. So that he can only say tranquilizing words that are actually also intended for himself. “Don't blame yourself. All this is beyond our control. For now, we can only wait while continuing to monitor the situation through the news.”

Slowly, Irwan pulled the Goddess into his arms. Not only because he wanted to appease his wife, but also because he needed her. In times like these, they must strengthen each other. Especially after Irwan realized there was another turmoil that was now rumbling in his chest.

The television screen is no longer telling about the Playground that Adira and his friends visit. Display various local product ads as a distraction. Play cheerful music, very inversely proportional to the background sound when displaying the news of the tragedy earlier.

Irwan closed his eyes and opened his ears wide. Hoping that his mood could also change like the sound of music he heard. Honey, the overflow of worry from within him prevented him from being able to absorb the circumstances around him properly.

Until suddenly the Goddess revolted in his arms. The wife who usually always looks beautiful even though she has entered the age of 40 years now looks quite messy. Traces of tears adorned his reddened face, while his hair was sticking to and fro as he continued to pierce unconsciously. Irwan felt his chest tight at how devastated his beloved wife was.

“We should not just be silent and wait, Well,” said Dewi later. The words coming out of his lips now sounded much clearer. No more sobbing that interrupts his every word. The goddess seemed to have rounded up the resolve. His two eyes did not blink as he looked at Irwan. “What kind of parent keeps taking refuge behind the comforts of home while his youngest child is fighting for his own life out there? We have to go save Adira, Dad! We need to get to that cursed playground right now!”

Deep wrinkles formed on Irwan's forehead. His gaze was sad as he cupped the wife's face slowly. “I see your point, Mom. But we will only hinder the work of the authorities by coming to the location.”

“I don't care!” Suddenly the Goddess shouted to make Irwan jerked. “They should know how valuable the children stuck there are to their parents. They should know that they must act quickly before the parents go crazy. They should know that it should have been from the beginning they could have prevented all this!”

The goddess paused for a moment to control her breathing which began to hunt. His throat was also felt extremely dry by all the cries, screams, and screams he let out. Dizziness began to attack his head, but he tried hard to stay awake with full awareness. He cannot be weak. As a mother, she can tell that Adira is also now struggling so that they can all regroup as a whole family.

In addition to his affection for Adira that is abundant, there is one other thing that makes Dewi very afraid of losing the girl.

It is the memory of how she and her husband treated the child everyday.

Irwan's face paled hearing all that. He knew where this talk would lead, but he himself did nothing to stop his wife.

“I always realized that Adnan and Adira were depressed by the way you educated them. And I just kept quiet thinking it was all for their future.” Goddesses choking. Emotions again attacked his breathing and his two eyeballs. Sobs were immediately heard from him again. “I should have known, that they wouldn't always be by our side forever. I should have used all that time to make them happy, not to satisfy your ego!”

Dewi's punch was getting louder, causing a loud noise and pain in Irwan's chest. The man had to hold his wife's wrist. Not only so that he would stop being beaten, but also so that the Goddess would stop hurting his own hands.

“We must rescue Adira immediately, Dad! Got to! Come on, go now!” The goddess started screaming. He rebelled, trying to release Irwan's grasp from his hands. This time the woman also used her legs to keep her husband away from her. Her common sense began to be buried by panic, so Dewi no longer realized that she was being rude to her own husband. “My son needs me! Take me there! Now too!”

“I understand. Calm down first, yes,” replied Irwan. He was so tired that he stopped his wife's movements. “If you continue like this, we can't go anywhere. Saving Adira should be a priority, but I also don't want you to get hurt for worrying too much about our son.”

“But, I—“

“We leave now,” by Irwan quickly. Preventing the wife from protesting and returning to rage. Although Irwan himself was not sure of his current decision. “I promise, we will go there soon. I just need a minute to talk to Adnan. You yourself know how much Adnan loves Adira, right?  He must also have been devastated by this incident.”

The two eyes of the Goddess were rounded. Slowly his originally tense body now looks relaxed. It seemed like he had just realized the existence of his eldest son who was still confined to the room. The goddess again felt a bad mother for ignoring Adnan just because she was too late in grief.

“True, Adnan .. meet Adnan. My legs feel too limp to stand,” replied the Goddess finally. He tried to get up, but fell back down because all his energy had been drained during the rampage.

Irwan nodded in understanding. “You rest first here.” He immediately picked up a sofa pillow and helped the Goddess lie down, before going to the second floor to meet Adnan.

However, the look in his eyes seemed too sharp for a father who wanted to ascertain the state of his son.

***