The Monster In Me

Secret Fikram

“Do I need to turn off the electricity? It doesn't seem necessary.” Fikram observed around from his position at the top of the Bianglala. The largest ride located right in the middle of the Cakrabuana Playground area is still standing strong thanks to the giant poles that support it. Fikram sat down casually although he occasionally frowned looking at the zombies crashing at the Bianglala pole nonstop. “Their voices are noisy. Their appearance too. I hardly wanted to turn on the electricity last night, because I was lazy to see that horrible sighting.”

He then rested his head. Looking up at his raised hand while grasping a small package wrapped in black plastic. With his thumb, he rubbed the thing. “What now should I try it? I have been distributing this dangerous object for many years, but I have never opened the package once,” muttered slowly while continuing to research the object.

“I hope you stick to your stance.”

Suddenly the voice of Doni, his loyal friend and customer, ringed in his head. Fikram flinched and straightened his body, without even a hint of taking his eyes off the package in his hand.

“Never consume this thing. No matter how much your curiosity will be, stick to your current stance.”

“Hah ... basic!” Fikram again bagged the package. Deliberately pushing it further into the bottom of his pants pocket. Prevent that thing from getting out of there. “Why is that cool? In the end, you and I are both stuck in this place. So, what's the difference?”

Just as he was about to stand up, suddenly a soft ringing came out from his lips. He groaned as he sat back with his legs spread forward. His trembling hands touched his legs and neck were adorned with shreds. On his arm there are also wounds in the form of dots that form the letter U. Slowly, Fikram fell silent before chuckling at all of that. Over time he began to laugh out loud, until his head looked far back.

“Ah, what a funny one! It turns out that being bitten it hurts so much,” complained on the sidelines of his laughter. “I know I won't die just because of this. But in the end, I climbed all the way up here not wanting to get hit again. Turns out I'm a coward too.”

He pulled out his phone and opened the camera. Enlarge the view that the camera shows to photograph each of its injuries clearly. “Memories. If until one day I think crazy, I must remember that I once took pains to go through suffering like this,” he said with a little arrogance.

Until when he finished shooting and began to turn his camera in the other direction, the figure of two girls who are now lying on the outer wall of the Playground. Fikram did not look surprised at all. He smiled broadly and continued to press the zoom in button on his phone.

“I've guessed. They will be safe,” he said, still with a big smile. “I lost to the High School girl. They did not stop fighting, even though they were stoned. Uh, wait!”

Fikram scrunched his forehead. For a while he kept his phone away from his face. “Who would ever throw a stone like that? Are there any zombies I don't know about? Huh! Just be right! Even calling them zombies is already too ridiculous.”

Suddenly the man's phone rang. At first, Fikram ignores the call, but the caller is quite stubborn by calling him many times. Having no other choice, Fikram sends a short message informing him that he cannot receive the current call.

It didn't take long until he received a reply. However, Fikram took the time to take a deep breath first before opening the message.

“Daddy why not go home yet?”

“Sorry, I'm doing a lot of work. Say hello to your mother and sister, yes.”

Many times he deletes and retypes everything before he presses the send button. The messaging process had never felt so long for Fikram before, but this time it was different. He was agonized to wait until the check mark grew in two.

After making sure the message had been sent, Fikram hurriedly turned off his phone. Grasping the flat object tightly, as tightly as he tightened his teeth at this time. It had been a long time since the last time he felt his chest so claustrophobic by the feeling of guilt.

His son and his wife, as well as the rest of his extended family no one knew what he was doing for a living. No one knew that he went to the Cakrabuana Playground to transact with many customers. They only know that Fikram went to work as a freelancer at one of the textile companies away from home.

So if his life ended in this place, maybe his family would never find his body, and thought that he disappeared because he could no longer bear to work hard to finance the needs of the family.

Fikram restores his hair while sighing heavily. “Sial! Why am I so much of a thought like this?” he complained while keeping his phone back in his empty pants pocket. However, no matter how hard he tried to stop complaining about everything, Fikram's head was still filled with various possibilities that could happen in his life.

Had he studied harder in youth, would he have managed to get a dream job and make his family proud? Had he been more careful about choosing friends, would his relationship with his parents never have been broken? Had he not married and had no children, perhaps he would not have had to torture himself just to earn less money.

If only he had been brave enough to refuse this job offer, would everything be different?

“No.” Suddenly Fikram slapped himself. “I don't want to regret anything. Although initially, I chose this profession because of the urgent circumstances. But I still do it to this day because of my own choices. It is not right for me to blame the circumstances.”

Fikram rose from his position. Be a little careful not to put a burden on the injured parts of his body. “Now, what should I do?” The man wondered while shaking his waist. Looking back and forth, although in the end he remained glued to the front. Where two teenage girls are seen as a point in the distance. “Above there seems interesting. Am I just going there?”

Deftly, Fikram took out a sharp weapon that he slipped on the waist of his pants. Cut his long black pants into shorter ones, and tie the severed parts in his gaping wounds.

He growled, feeling an excruciating pain that he had never felt. Because despite dabbling in the black world, Fikram always plays safe and ensures his figure is always hidden behind the darkness. He never put himself in a dangerous position.

It seemed, this time his principle would no longer hold fast.

***