The Monster In Me

Adnan and Adira masks

Zean took a long breath. The longer he knew Adnan, the more he felt the young man was often childish. Maybe that's what Adnan's true nature is, only, his status as the oldest brother makes him more show attitude that makes him look mature. So that anyone can see that he is the brother who can protect his sister. That he is a man who can face whatever trials the world has given him.

Adnan's attitude may succeed in deceiving everyone, but not with Zean who always spends his time observing people. Because his work as an actor always required him to act well, Zean became accustomed to learning the expressions of many people around him. Especially those who interact with it.

Zean was chasing Adnan who continued to walk in an uncertain direction when his foot kicked something soft and light enough. The young man stopped and was too afraid to look down for a while. His head was instantly filled with the possibilities of what he had accidentally kicked. Zean struggled to swallow his saliva because now his whole body stiffened. He began to consider continuing the journey without finding out what it was.

However, of course the curiosity of a human is very difficult to get rid of. Slowly, Zean turned his head to the side, and began to direct his eyes to look down. Time seemed to go very slowly with him, because Zean began to feel his body ache because he continued to stand stiffly. Until finally, his eyes caught an object that had triggered his fear.

Zean reflex exhaled that he had not since when he was holding.

“Damn it! It's just a teddy bear!” yell at the young man while kicking the poor doll. The doll then rolled forward, passing through a puddle of a mixture of soil and human fluids.

After being satisfied to vent his anger, Zean was now stunned. Remember that Helsa used to love collecting teddy bears of various shapes and colors. His little sister's room barely even had a place left for a new doll.

Remembering Helsa made both her eyes start to tear up. Zean immediately raised his head and took a deep breath. Intended to recapture all the emotions of sadness that would have overflowed from within him in order to remain silent without flowing out into tears. Zean has no time to cry, and he is also convinced that Helsa does not want to see him weak.

Zean steadfastly picked up the doll. Without thinking for a long time he rubbed the teddy bear into his own body, until the dirt that was originally attached to the feathers of the doll now spread to his clothes. However, Zean did not care. He patted every part of the doll before staring fixedly.

The bright brown teddy bear looks very adorable with the tip of a red and rounded nose. The feathers almost covered his entire body, except for the face, stomach, and palms and feet. There is a writing embroidered with blue thread in the middle of his stomach. Aron's. Perhaps it was the name of the previous owner of the doll.

“You like to play dolls?”

Zean gasped slightly when he realized Adnan was now standing right in front of him. The young man looked at him curiously with one of his eyebrows raised. A faint smile also etched down on his lips, as if he was ready to laugh at Zean who seemed to be playing a puppet at any moment.

Zean's hand holding the doll directly stretched out in front of Adnan. “Bring!”

Adnan's eyes widened. He walked back with a disgusted expression. “No! Wh-wh-what for? Do you want to curse me with that? Let me tell you, the curses and spirits that dwell in the doll are all unreal! All those horror movies are just fiction stories.”

Adnan seemed to open and close his mouth many times. Trying to find the right answer against Zean. Unable to find him, he finally snorted loudly. “Alright, you win. But I still won't bring that disgusting thing.”

“If later we find water, this doll can be cleaned.” Zean continued to force until now he had thrust the doll right in front of Adnan's chest. A little pressing on the young man's body. “Quick grab! Not for you, but for your sister. Adira definitely needs it to calm down in the midst of the nightmares that occur in this place.”

Hearing that, Adnan finally no longer tried to resist out loud. He picked up the shabby doll and looked at it deeply. Adira's face immediately reflected in his mind, but not a smiling or cheerful face as the doll-worn daughter might show.

“Since the past, Adira has always been more mature than girls her age,” muttered Adnan slowly. Slowly, he shook his head. “He will not accept this doll. I know because I tried to give him a similar doll a few times. But everything Adira refuses on the grounds that she does not like useless toys.”

Adnan held the doll up high. Wiggled her as she continued her story about her sister. “Boneka bear like this will not be able to help him to learn, nor to make him a favorite son of Father and Mother. Just like now ... This doll will not be able to help her to get out of here safely.”

Zean was silent to Adnan's words. He could feel how much the young man missed his sister, but did not want to show it. Because if it is true that Adnan considers the doll useless, he could have thrown it anywhere. Throw it as far away as possible. However, no. Adnan is now holding the doll tightly, until the belly of the doll looks bent inward.

What is Adnan and Adira's relationship? Zean was convinced that the sisters were quite familiar with each other, but there seemed to be something different about the environment in which they grew up. Adnan seemed very accustomed to being tough, brave, and always trying to make Zean believe that he could do anything without anyone's help. It was as if he would be punished if he showed a slight weakness.

And from the story of the young man, Zean was able to capture that Adnan's sister, Adira, also has a nature that is not much different. Zean does not know Adira's age for sure, but because Adnan himself is still quite young, surely Adira is not much older than Helsa. It should not be that little girl seems to be putting up thick walls and masks to cover up her true feelings and personality.

Perhaps at this point, Zean was completely determined to reunite Adnan and Adira. The brothers really need each other more than anything else.

“Are you sure?” ask Zean then.

Adnan stopped babbling and looked at Zean questioningly. “What?”

“Are you sure that Adira doesn't like dolls?”

***