The Monster In Me

Determination and Courage

“Oh, what would be your fate without me?” firda asked while half-mocking. He deliberately raised one eyebrow and put on a haughty expression. He knew that Adira really didn't like to see him act like that. “You will probably keep going around without direction and in the end give up.”

“Not until like that,” refute Adira while pursing lips. “In a situation like this, if we give up, it is certain that we will lose. As long as we are still struggling, we still have hope.”

“OK, okay. Don't be so cool, I know you're a strong girl.” Firda patted Adira's shoulder while chuckling. “But still, you have to admit that I'm very meritorious this time.”

Hearing that, Adira then rolled her eyes lazily. However, a wide smile fell on his lips. Because in fact, he himself was quite grateful to find that Firda not only took useless dolls, but also took a mini map of the Cakrabuana Playground at the clothing store they had occupied. The map will help them to find a way, determine where they will go next.

How could Firda find the map lying just like that in the clothes shop area earlier? I don't know, both Adira and Firda don't know and don't have time to think about it at the moment.

“Good. It seems like the rain outside has stopped. Let's go after looking at this map once again,” Adira said while sitting comfortably, her back still leaning against the clone of the coffins of the Ghost House they occupied. Firda also sat down beside him, leaning over to see the small map clearly.

The compact eyes of Adira and Firda widened together. They exchanged looks before Adira spoke. “This is why we should pay more attention to the briefing from Bu Danita.”

Firda nodded in agreement. “True. Maybe we just know that the Playground area is much wider and borders the beach. Though we had seen the map on display with the entrance gate.”

“Perhaps our attention at that time was too focused on the various rides that are here.”

“Maybe.”

“Yang then let it pass,” said Adira finally. He looked back at the map in his hands. “Now, come on, find the nearest exit from here. I'm sure a place this big has a lot of ways out. Although the usual ones opened only a few.”

“You think they have a special inbound exit for officers? I've never seen a Playground employee pass through the same gate as a visitor.” Firda thought while tapping his own chin. “Of course I mean another Playground. I'm only here for the first time.”

“It should be this place is not much different either. Try to pay attention to this wall image.” Adira pointed her index finger to the outermost side of the map image. His index finger moved following every curve of that line. “Isn't the line a little different at some point? Especially the line that does not have a tree picture nearby.”

“True. Looks like the part that has a gate is not given a picture of a tree. But the nearest gate is quite far from here,” complained Firda while measuring the distance on the map using his finger. He quickly tried to calculate the actual distance. “Do you think we can still hope there will be a bus between tours passing.”

“Forget about that bus. Right now we have to assume that no one will come to save us,” Adira replied firmly.

Firda pursed her lips. He really felt that Adira's words were too cruel and annihilated all forms of hope that were still left in Firda's mind. However, he must admit that Adira's words have a point. They would not get anywhere if they just kept quiet and hoped a miracle would come.

For a while, they just fell silent. Each was immersed in his own thoughts as long as they observed the map. Adira himself had enough difficulty to maintain his concentration. Because he continues to be distracted by colorful images on the map.

Picture of the mascot of the Cakrabuana Playground, which is in the form of sunflowers with cheerful faces smiling towards him. While the human-shaped cartoon images that walk hand in hand also display a smile that is no less dazzling. As if mocking Adira who had not had time to enjoy the happiness that the Playground should offer for her.

“We must focus. Until now, we have enough supporting stuff to get us out of here,” said Adira suddenly. It seems he is trying to strengthen himself.

Firda who heard that then took a deep breath before smiling. “Indeed, what do we have?”

“Determination and courage.”

“Gosh.”

“I'm serious.” Adira folded the map in her hand carefully, and kept it deep at the bottom of her pants pocket. “My brother always said, that there is always a power order in this world. Where the strong defeat the weak, while the weak can only surrender and accept all oppression.”

Firda frowned in confusion. He even glared at and touched Adira's face, making sure that her best friend was still healthy and not attacked by any disease that might interfere with her sanity. “I really don't understand you.”

“I mean is, we can't just rely on wits.” Adira clenched both her hands firmly on her side. His eyes stared in the direction they were going to go when they wanted to go out later. “In the beginning, we and the zombies were both human. We are all on the same level. However, everything changed as the zombies lost their consciousness as well as all of their doubts and fears. They can attack without hesitation because of all that.”

“So?” firda asked, still unable to understand the direction of this conversation.

“So, we must not let them turn into stronger and more capable creatures to oppress us. We must be able to strengthen our resolve and cultivate the courage to become beings who are above them.” Adira bit her lips firmly before speaking again. “If not, we will no longer have a chance. We can only surrender like ants stepped on by boots.”

“How?”

Adira looked at Firda sharply. Almost made Firda shudder in fear. “Buang all flavors neither heart nor pity. Do not look at them as human beings. That way, we will no longer feel hesitant to attack or defend.”

Hardly firda gulped. Adira's voice when saying the sentence did not sound like the usual Adira. It was clear to me that the friend had very much made up his mind before saying all that. Firda should have praised him for that, but somehow he felt a great unease.

“A-did you say all this because I prevented you from beating zombies at the cashier of the shirt store?” asked Firda hesitatingly.

One corner of Adira's lips lifted. “Entah.”

***