The Cost of Trust

Trying to Avoid

Almost ashar I woke up from my rest.Stretch my hands and then wriggled for a moment.My head I broke to the left and to the right.Even though it was sleeping, the feeling of fatigue still came to me.

Suddenly my esophagus felt dry, I went out of the room to the kitchen.I did not find Aziz mas outside my room.Bodo very much.I do not care.Kuteguk clear water that I keep in the refrigerator.It was very fresh it was.Gegas me headed to the bathroom, I did not care,so that I can immediately pay for my 4 rakaat.

Samapi azan magrib, Mas Aziz did not visit the trunk of his nose.Am I worried?Lying if I answer no. Why do I care?From now on I don't want to know what he did.Later, when my body has started to fit the divorce papers will be submitted to the religious court.I must be sure of my decision.

While enjoying a cup of hot tea, I sat on the living room sofa.Since I entered the hospital, maybe this house has not been touched by a broom.

I saw an envelope lying on the floor near the sofa.I'm sure, the envelope belonged to Lili who yesterday he threw on Aziz mas. With doubt I picked up the envelope.I opened it and then read.Tertertera age of the content of Lili at the age of 7 weeks.Still quite young compared to my gestational age.

When I put the letter back in the envelope, the living room door opened.

"Assalamualaikum.lho deck, you're here in the room."

"Walaikumsalam."so I quickly put the envelope back on.I got up from the sofa and brought my teacup.

"Dek..did not like this. mas please..", prevent it while gripping my hand.

"I need some time mas.Please, don't bother me first.I want to be alone."

But Aziz grabbed the cup from my hand and he put it on the living room table.Then pulled me back to the sofa.

"Dek, mas apologise.thousands of pardons.mas khilaf.For the sake of Allah, there is not the slightest intention to betray you deck."

I tried to control myself to look up to the roof so that my tears did not fall back.Mas Aziz hugged me tightly.Alas, I actually enjoyed the embrace of this traitorous husband.If he had not done that big mistake, I can certainly forgive him.

I did not return his embrace.Silent sculpting is the right choice at this time.

"Sir, just give this one chance. Please...!", he said while holding my hand.But before long, I patted slowly.

I know my husband very well, but ever since I found out he betrayed me I felt as if he was a stranger in my life.

He looked at Lili's envelope, picked it up and opened it and read it slowly.

Observe the writing on the paper over and over again. Until he finally looked at me.

"Dek, look at this.See the age of the content of Lili.New entry 7 Weeks deck.And mas sure.This is not a seed mas."

I looked back at him.

Do I have to be happy with that reality?

"Dek, mas did it long ago deck.When the visit to Malang. Already more than 3 months ago, you want the deck.Even you who prepare all the needs of the mas."

"Then? how do you want me?"

"Dek, when it was lost consciousness deck.For the sake of Allah, there was no intention in the slightest to betray you.At that time after the last dinner there, you know mas feel 'want' once.Mas remembered the same you deck.Kesing mas so hot.Dan... suddenly at the same time, Lili went into the mas room. I also don't know how he got access to my room. With great difficulty I resist the desire of the deck mas. But ...mas khilaf. Can't hold it. "

He cupped his hands together on his face.See there were sobs and tears of regret there.

My heart is turbulent, has Aziz said the truth?Regardless of the fetus is the seed mas Aziz or not, their rumbling has also happened.The disgusting video I have seen.What is still worth forgiving?

"Daddy, believe me it's just love for you. Please, come back to being the old Diandra. Which...", he hasn't finished speaking yet I've stopped.

"Would want to be fooled and betrayed!", I said quickly.

"Should with what else do I apologize deck. Forgive me.", he said a hiccup.

"Don't ask for forgiveness from me, ask for forgiveness from God.I'm just an ordinary human being who can feel hurt."

"Mas, regardless of whether the child is your son or not you have obviously betrayed me. Even with my own eyes, I see that you enjoy such disgusting deeds. You still wish I'd take you back?"

Mas Aziz looked down.Either what was in his mind.

"There's a guarantee if we only do it once with lilies 3 months ago?"

He looked up at me.He seemed to be holding back emotions.

"Had already said deck, mas khilaf at that time only. There is no intention of repeating it again. Deck oath!"

"Stop swearing!"

"But the fact is it's like that deck. They never do it again. Even as much as possible mas always avoid Lili even though mama asked mas to come back close to her."

I closed my eyes for a moment. A quiet atmosphere enveloped both of us.

In the midst of this quiet situation, I heard the voice of Brother selling a canticle sounding a sound.

Ting...Ting...Ting...Ting....

I swiftly ran, leaving Aziz's mas.

"Sir, where are you waiting for your deck?Be careful not to run away.Remember, you are pregnant!"

I don't mind Aziz.I just don't want to bang a can too far from my house.

"Abang a bagenggg.", I shouted.Bang sekoteng also turned towards approaching me.

Aziz was behind me too.

"O Allah, Deck, why do you run." I didn't answer the talk. Lazy. Ga essential.

"Pack up 2 bang.!"

"Yes neng!"

"My pocket rabbis.Yeah I forgot, there is no money dime in my pocket.

"I'll take the money first!"

But Aziz's hand grabbed me.He gave a sheet of 10thousands to the Sekoteng bang.

I'm upset.Wind angry, but ashamed of others if we know we're not okay.

"It's neng!"

"Thank you bang."

I walked along with bang Aziz. He embraces my shoulders.In fact I feel uncomfortable eits.emosi more precisely.But, because bang sekotenh is serving people also I was forced to be willing to mas Aziz embrace me.

After entering the house, I removed his hand from my shoulder.But, I saw from the tail of Aziz's eyes a little smile.

I walked into the kitchen.Pour a can on a large container.Then sat down at the table to eat.Soever mas Aziz followed me .

"Lho..dek, the photo from noon is not eaten? This is your favorite soto."

"Suddenly do not like."I replied origin.But the fact I was not like. I drank 4 glasses of cincau this afternoon. Now, a bowl full of a canticle.Is this what it's called cravings?