Sense of Sense

Epilogue: Two

Safira and Zain were in the living room when the front door opened and then followed by a greeting that made the mother-daughter couple look at each other simultaneously.

“Fuck!” zain exclaimed, threw the colored pencil carelessly― turned away from the half-colored Iron Man, then rushed towards the source of the sound.

Safira smiled and shook her head. “Mas Zain, slow walk aja.”

Zain stopped running and walked slowly to Ashqar, who was on his knees with both arms open, ready to grab Zain's body into his arms. When Zain manages to get into the arms of his father, Alvin walks past them with a comment that upsets Zain.

“Basic, small child.”

So Alvin said to make thin lips Zain forward a few inches. However, like how Alvin usually is, he does not care about the whining of Zain who said he was evil and complained to Ashqar. The footsteps of Ashqar and Sapphira's first son were steady towards Harsaha who was sitting on Sapphira's lap.

“Harsha, Mas Alvin came home,” he said, leading Harsha to kiss his own hand.

Afterwards the youngest shouted excitedly as he reached out to Alvin's cheek and patted him with all his might. And even so, Alvin lets his cheeks become the target of Harsha's golden-ness towards her.

“Mamah not addressed?” sela Safira, extend a hand.

Alvin looked at Safira longat, not looking interested in receiving a helping hand. That makes Safira a rage. The ever-changing mood made him a more sensitive person than before.

Sapphira lowered her hands along with her head bowed, her face water as a watered flower. His eyes are glazed, tears in the fertilizer almost spilled if the soft voice does not stop at the sense of hearing.

“Assalamu’alaikum, mah.”

“Wa’alaikummussalam,” reply Safira, lifting head.

One tear was then followed by another circle that came in a group when he realized that Alvin was hugging him instead of kissing his hands as usual. A feeling of inexplicability pushed Safira's sensitive side forward, causing the mother of three to cry sobbing.

Alvin pulled away as a subtle suction rang out clearly beside the ear and was immediately shocked to see the mother's face filled with tears. “Mamah, why cry? Alvin's cursing, huh? Mommy sick?”

Sapphira laughed at his sobbing, shook her head and showered Alvin with a kiss all over her face.

“Mah why, anyway?”

“Mamah why?”

The same questions from two different people, but their expressions reflected similar things, astonished and worried into one.

Safira nodded back. “Mad is okay,” he said.

“Mamah was happy Mas Alvin,” timpal Ashqar fast, feeling sorry for his two sons who were still confused. “Mas Alvin, change clothes first we eat.” Ashqar turned to Zain as soon as the firstborn entered his room. “Mas Zain eat.”

Zain glanced at the door of Alvin's room and Ashqar realized it. So he immediately gave Zain the idea to follow his brother. However they remain brothers, the previous minute of the fight and the next minute will get along again as if the problem never existed.

Once the living room was quiet, Ashqar immediately sat down beside Sapphira after previously moving Harsha into his arms. While glancing at his beloved wife, Ashqar whispered, “Udah his laugh?”

Safira.

“Why laugh?”

“Nothing, just fussing at yourself.”

“Means?”

“I have become sensitive from day to day since Aisyah's departure, to the point that even small things can make me sad and discouraged. I still have a hard time controlling my feelings, Mom. Sometimes all of a sudden I cry for no reason or even for little things. I'm the one who thinks it's not only difficult for the mas, but also for the children. Alvin just until the masang face like that.”

Ashqar reached out, grabbed Safira's left hand and held it tightly. The man slightly squeezed his wife's delicate hand until the woman stared right at his neutrality. “If you know sometimes you make it difficult for others, why not also mengikhlaskan?” he said, smooth and sharp at the same time.

And before Sapphira could misunderstand him, Ashqar immediately continued, “Ayesha's departure makes us all sad including Alvin and Zain. I'm not denying that the person who lost the most is definitely you, the person who's been pregnant with it for weeks. Your sense of loss, regret and guilt will not bring you any good unless you can sincerely let go.”

“But, mas .. if only I wasn't careless maybe―”

“What possibilities can defeat the destiny of God, Fi?” quick Ashqar rebuttal. Then he squeezed their hands back. “Don't be too late in grief and loss to make you forget that God is the best planner, look around you that this husband of yours and your children are still and will continue to need your figure in this family.”

Sapphira was downcast, feeling slapped with her own husband's words. Her head began to be filled with a lot of attention and advice from those closest to her, especially her husband. Blame him who is ignorant and stubborn, too soluble in his own feelings. However, is this time Safira to blame easily for her feelings of loss as a mother?

“I'm trying, mas. But nothing can hold my heart back from this sadness every time I remember how we lost Aisyah.”

“I see,” whispered Ashqar, releasing their grasp and leading Sapphira's head to lean on his shoulders. “I am beside you, also children to strengthen you so that you can go through this sadness.”

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Finish 🤭