Not Just a Shadow

Chapter 65

I entered the house and closed the gate without seeing her again, without waiting for her to leave my front door.

“Sorry, you are good to me Mas Febrian but really I do not want to use you to deceive me more deeply. Even if you're willing to wait for my feelings for you, but I don't want to hurt you when you're waiting for me. Let us be like this, you have no obligation to improve my good name in society. And I, let me with my wound. I'll make this my whip live the rest of my life.” For the moment I entered the room, arranging my bed that was still in a mess in a hurry to leave for the office.

Without a dream I woke up from my slumber, probably because of how tired my heart and mind were to crush my whole body.

As usual, after getting ready I went straight to the office, since Mas Ferdian was lost from the air for a long time I never attach much importance to breakfast again. As if my sleep is set with eating, if you can close your eyes as if you have eaten. I leave the office still on public transport, occasionally taking a taxi. I have not dared to buy my own vehicle even though the balance given by Mas Ferdian I can use to buy a car, according to his request first.

I refused it when he wanted to buy me a car, how many months of rejection I reasoned he sent zero-zero who wau. Five years I work will not be able to set aside to achieve the transfer.

Until now, controlled or not, I have never thought about using the money he always transfers, even just last night he said in the morning there was a notification from the Banking service. Though I forbade him not to support me, the word of my forgiveness always ringed my ears. Maybe that's what I've always wanted from the past, getting a living from my husband resting my head on his shoulder.

“For Ra, late?” greet Bang Ryco slowly.

“Sorry,”

“It's okay Ra, the important thing is you are still nongol here I'm grateful. I'm worried about you.”

“Worry because what? Because of a lot of work!” I said nyolot made Bang Ryco not say much anymore. My mood became uncomfortable, not knowing what tone. Honestly, I was a little unwell after passing through Paak Febrian's room covered with curtains, but there was still light on his computer screen.

“RA, please take this to the room Mr. Ryan yes.”

“Pak Ryan?” my question is, my mind is a little shrewd.

“Yes, Mr. Ryan. He needs this file, and Mr. Febrian has allowed him to ask us directly.”

“Why?”

“Do not know, if you ask the person himself.” Bang Ryco's tone hurt the ears a little, I realized he seemed to be trying to get back at me.

I just put down my bag and immediately drove to Mr. Ryan's office. I hadn't seen it for a long time, as if it had just passed after our last appointment. But I'm not awkward with him at all, sometimes he still sends me chats. Even if only one time twice the reply.

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I finally got home, it feels like time is running slow today. Mr. Febrian blatantly avoided me today, making Bang Ryco unwillingly ask. Since Mbak Tari moved and since he was married to Mbak Erna I reduced to meeting Bang Ryco personally even though sometimes he was not reluctant to play at home even if only to greet mother. Bang Ryco always asks freely what he wants to know. And I just told him, while struggling with work.there is no whisper anymore.

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Before long I lay down my body, my mother knocked on my door. Tok.dok…

“Log in Bu, not in lock.” Even though the person behind the door didn't make a sound, I knew it was mom. My father never knocked on my bedroom door. Even if there is something you want to say, my mother always calls me.

“Opo I'm interrupting, Nak.”

“No Ma'am, just go in.” mom open the door handle.

“Son, I want to chat with you is okay right?” mom sat in my bed, I sat my body against Mom and caught what Mom was going to say was serious.

“Please, sorry lately Hira is busy.” said I melt the anxiety of Mother who looks a little hesitant to start talking.

Flashbacks

“Assalamallaikum Yes,”

“Waalaikum greetings Nak, please enter.” Mother said still normally, mother did not vent anger at all.

“Is dad home also bu?”

“No Child, will you be home soon?”

“Please talk if there is anything Nak Ferdian wants to say. I don't know you will be long or not.”

“I ventured here to apologize Mom, to mom and dad for hurting Dek Hira and tarnishing the trust of Father and Mother. I really want to ask for forgiveness. With Mother's expression that is not surprised and with the attitude of Hira's deck that is always open with Mother, I am sure Dek hira has told everything to Mother. Although I was late to apologize to her and she found out first before I was honest with her.” Ferdian sungkem at the mother's feet suddenly, mother already understood.

“O, so last night it was Ferdian that drove Hira? I heard there was a car that stopped but did not stop by.” Ferdian was a little surprised but did not dare to deny. Still tight at mom's feet.

“Actually really loved once with your relationship that has ended like that. I thank you for all the attention Ferdian gave Hira. Mother already considers Nak Ferdian like her own child, but indeed we do not know what God's plan is. Mother used to doubt your relationship that we are different degrees.” Mother stroked Ferdian's head which was still on Mother's lap, not yet standing from her stump.

“I have never distinguished Mom, however rich a person may not be of high rank before God, I love the deck of Hira sincerely as it is. I had begged Hira's deck to keep her wanting to be my wife but she rejected it firmly. Sorry Mom, that doesn't mean I'm lowering Hira's deck, but myself who can't live without her presence.” Even though Mom was wide-eyed but mother did not speak rudely at all.

“Bu, Ferdian please persuade Hira to become my wife. I assure you, Ma'am, his name will not be tainted in this city. No one would know if I had two wives. He will remain my priority.”

“Not Nak, just say it. when Hira has said his decision he will not falter even though he is still not sincere. He will endure his own pain. That's what I know, but I don't know how she was when she was with you, because I know you spoiled her so much. Mom is very grateful. You gave her everything she needed, which I couldn't give her as her parents. Be happy with your partner, may soon be blessed with righteous offspring. I'll be reflecting you. Stand up, sit in the chair.” Mother shrugged Ferdian's shoulders, Ferdian immediately sat himself in a chair.

“I really hope to be your son Ma'am, husband dek Hira.”

“You can still be my son, please stop by if you arrive in this city. We can keep the friendship rope even if not with the wedding road.”

“Dek Hira also said like that Mom, yesterday. He told me to come back immediately. And he doesn't know if I'm here.”

“Dragon Health Son,” mom patted Ferdian's arm as if it was the end of the conversation.

“Ya already, Ferdian back yes Mom. Ferdian will go directly to city A, take good care of your health. If there is anything please contact Ferdian Number, until anytime Ferdian number will remain the same.”

“Thank you son, be careful on the road.” Mother accompanied the Ferdian Steps that stepped from the door.

“Greetings to Mr. Ferdian, ma'am." said Ferdian before he boarded his car.

Flash back off

I was afraid to hear what my mother told me, even though my heart hurt a little.

“Mother didn't say that Mr. Febrian proposed to me right?”

“Ora kok Nak, but you do not think again to want to be a second wife right?” I shook my head weakly.

“Actually the one who delivered me yesterday was not him kok ma'am, but Pak Febrian. But that's okay.Let him think and let him misunderstand. Maybe that way he'll be easy to catch me. I'll live our lives with a new leaf. It will be the past and welcome my bright days ahead. I want to work with pride in the future. Pray that Hira is strong, Bu.” Mom patted my shoulder. Encouraging me to be patient.

Next episode, then,