Not Just a Shadow

chapter 39

Emma fell asleep waiting for Rinna's reply that had been waiting for a long time because the day almost welcomed the sparkler of the universe appeared, her eyes could not bear to see the flat screen again without realizing it was completely washed away by a dream.

“Mas, I want us to be together again. Do you know if the woman you adore is unfaithful to you? Please come back to me.”

“T will never. As sad as you are begging me I will not unravel the pain you have left me. Just remember it yourself, I will never be fooled again.” Emma hugged Ferdian from behind trying to restrain Ferdian's departure from his presence.

“Let me Em go, we've got nothing to do anymore. Don't make noise in my relationship with Hira. I've been feeling happy with him.” Ferdian sighed as if he sounded tired and was saturated with words.

“Let go, why are you embarrassing yourself like this. You can get more people than me. Try to explain me. I have given you the pain in my heart. Will I do’a you happy.”

“No, ( Emma shook her head repeatedly until Ferdian clearly felt the movement of Emma ) I will not let you go Mas, my love for you is still intact as before.” Emma blurred the smell of perfume that is still the same as it used to make it more mired in the past.

“If we discuss the past, doesn't it sound weird Em? You've been with other people and I've had Hira in my life. We have each other's lives. All this time my door was still open to you, but not to my heart Em. Respect the person who is now by my side, by not bringing up the past. That's also if you want to keep the string of silaturohim that you always say so far. And release your embrace.” Emma still tightens her arms. Shaking his head at Ferdian's back, Ferdian tried to let go of Emma's hand that was coiled around his stomach violently but still could not be released as well.

“Em, how should I behave with you? I'm Tired of facing you.” Emma's tears escaped sliding profusely, Emma was not strong enough to hold back anymore. She felt her despised self pleading like no other man would touch her.

“I also don't know Mas, I myself don't know what to do. I can't keep this taste. The more I tried to keep it the more it hurt. Especially if you are with someone else.” Ferdian breathed a rough sigh with a mocking smile recalling the past that ended not because of his mistake.

“Even more don't talk about it, I'm tired! I gotta go. If you can't show up in front of me if you can't control yourself.” Ferdian throws Emma's hand violently as Emma's embrace begins to loosen.

Dret…

The vibration of Emma's mobile phone located near her ear that had been separated from the hand grip that had been used as a sleeping pad. Waking her from a dream that felt real, Emma woke up and wiped her cheeks that were wet from the flow of tears.

“Yes Lord Mas, it hurts your words in the dreamland to make me who already has no heart after not being with you to shed tears. Had I revealed this in the real world would you also be this painful to me?” emma's moans wiped her tears remembering her miserable dream.

“Rin...Rin.. Is that how you cover everything? Is this so great that you are enduring the pain in your heart? I'm sure because I'm also the woman who expected it, you must be confused and frightened when you don't see it in the office let alone there is no schedule of the Foreign Service. It's up to Rin, how far you're going to lie to yourself. For sure I will remove one by one the stones that block my path until I can walk comfortably without any worry or alertness in my mind.” Emma read a message from Rinna that was sent at four in the morning.

Dret…

As a message from Nadia, Emma opens it.

From : Nadia

Noon, sunday gini is awake yet? hi, slacker! I'm already home.

Emma looked at the clock in the corner of her phone screen, she felt a pain in her stomach that had felt hunger that felt wrapped around.

“Yes, three o'clock in the afternoon! Crazy one! I slept till this hour? Because of the dream that there is no happiness, just deserve my stomach until this sick.”

“Mas... Mas.. You should enter in my dream of giving me happiness, invite me to eat romantically let me wake up smiling and not starving like this.” Emma's grouse moved from her bed to the bathroom and immediately made her body fresh.

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“ Hah I have to be in one more roof. How's this?” I asked myself, down the road to my room in the villa followed by Mas Ferdian's steps. I was confused as to how to behave, this afternoon had asked Bang Ryco to change rooms but there was no result, which there could even be a frowning face Mas Ferdian.

“How shall I, O God, give me a situation that will spare me what I fear. How should I behave, should he be a little negligent and cross the line? If I try to avoid the situation as if I am a hypocrite and as if I do not believe in his seriousness even though he has officially proposed to me in front of Father and Mother.”

“Yes Allah why do You test my faith like this O God, You know this is difficult for me.” I groaned in my heart without knowing how to deal with this situation.

“Honey, I feel from earlier you just shut up, why?” asked Mas Ferdian as I unlocked the room.

I just shook my head.

“Are you thinking about the words of Mas who ‘tanda we wade tonight...‘ yes, it?” I was still silent hearing Mas Ferdian's question.

We finally entered our room, my heart was like a war. My lips are still silent not knowing what to say. The atmosphere was stiff, but this was not the first time we met.

“Why is the atmosphere like this? O Allah help me melt the atmosphere so that I am not wrong again in dealing with the current situation.” My inner.

“Honey, yuk jama’ah. We have not prayed yet!” I busied myself cleaning the bed arranging the blanket and replacing the new pillowcase, available in the closet. Mas Ferdian's opening words made me a little relieved, finally the atmosphere melted a little.

“Iya Mas, I will prepare the alphabet. Mas shower used to use warm water so good sleep later tomorrow Mas will go home drive right?” considering that tomorrow will pass through a long journey, my mind becomes disturbed.

“How great is the sacrifice. Take time, leave his job, travel all the way from there to here. Should I get all this without me giving a little sacrifice before my ego?”

“Hai, (Mas Ferdian clapped his palms in front of my face. Disperse all my over-thought-out daydreams ) What do you think? Don't think about anything unimportant. Shower first, you also prepare later replace you who shower! The oil shoulder in your body has changed.” Mas Ferdian brought his nose closer in front of my chest making me slightly rewind my body. I smelled the smell in my armpits with a slight coarse sniff, making Mas Ferdian slightly smile mockingly.

“Ih... what the hell Mas, still fragrant!” I patted his arm, he was still standing in front of me. Step into the bathroom immediately.

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seriate,

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