Not Just a Shadow

Chapter 61

happy reading's...

I walked down the street, step by step I was all to myself.

“Sok hardcore! Sook right! Are you really living your life? Have you found your happiness? Can you solve your problems yourself? Can you face your own heart? Facing the reality of your life? Until you act like a supermen, a steel skirt knight, or you're an ultramen? No ultramen, but the storm is yes!”

“Yes Lord, O God, Yes Robb what should I do with this heart of mine? I can't do it without Mas Ferdian, but he belongs to someone else. There was a solution to cover up this disgrace, but I dodged it and couldn't step back. Mas Fer was with someone else. How busy I am with work and college but I feel I can't help feeling this God, do I miss someone's husband? Is it true that I still have these feelings for people's husbands? But it feels like just yesterday she was still my lover! He still hugged me, kissed me, and said sweet to me. If he is not my soul mate, lose this feeling O God, I am sincere if You take all the memories of him in my heart.” I patted my head hoping I would come to my senses from the mess I had in mind.

“Hira, let's get up. Gather your strength to see your future, strengthen your heart, accept reality. The spirit! Spirit!”

I tried to wake myself up, to open the door of my simple courtyard. I say hello even though the house is quiet, it sounds Father and Mother are still in a state of dhikr. I immediately entered my room and immediately cleaned my face as loud as the real whisper of Mas Ferdian's voice in my ear “ Take a bath in warm water, baby!” I covered my ears that still felt his whisper, his warm breath.

“Aware Ra! wakeful!” I patted my cheek.

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The day just passed, after I realized my longing and the hope that was still in my heart had not yet classified it made me hallucinate a lot. After last meeting Bang Ryco with Mbak Er, I busied myself with college and happened to have an office job supporting me to help me shift my feelings even though I could not erase the wound in my heart. But I'm still grateful that Bang Ryco's relationship has improved and the burden on my heart is a little light even though I haven't made peace with Mr. Febrian who is still waiting for the answer to his application, I haven't thought about it at all.

“Ra, we still have to prepare this! Print please, there's a meeting tomorrow morning. Send email to all parts of the division there is a massive overhaul of the wave 1.”

“Ok Boss.” I replied to Bang Ryco's command, there are only the two of us in this room yet there is no delivery man. Mbak Tari has moved parts.

“I don't think so many changes in such a short time I have to change too!” I encourage myself in my heart. It feels like more and more work after the departure of Mbak Tari.

“Bang, I'm kepo deh! Mean wave one?”

“Means there's still the next wave of Ra, let's hope I get a quick promotion.” Bang Ryco replied expectantly which I answered with amien.

“Boss we still you hang ya Ra?” whispered Bang Ryco in the middle of busy work, making me look at wonder.

“Still having a chance to discuss personal matters!” after the latest incident I brought Bang Ryco and Mbak Er together, the next morning I was bombarded with so many questions by bang Ryco.

Flashbacks

“Ra, seriously Ra! Same story me, mumpung still quiet.”

“Means?”

“Yes stories about you, I can't hold back my.”

“Apaan is Bang! That should be the story, brother not me! Who finished shooting last night, Brother!”

“Mulutmu! I'm serious Ra, I've been suspicious since yesterday. Actually after I came home, Mr. Feb came to your house, right? See you?” I was just gawking at the right statements in reality.

“Trus?”

“Yes trus what happened after that you guys are weird! The mystery feels uncomfortable.” I replied with a head full of astonishment.

“Abang is a fortune teller huh?” I raise my eyebrows.

“Can Ra's application?”

“Not answered yet!”

“Oh.. “ Bang Ryco bells.

“Why is his expression like that?”

“Jeran only! One problem has not yet arisen another problem, your fate Ra... Ra... wonder again your problem is in one round, why not? What is not right so the brother-in-law who nglamar you, and later he will be your brother-in-law although it can be avoided not to meet someday will still meet in a moment.“ I can't say anything just through Bang Ryco's true words.

Flash back off

“Diving drink water! We have no time to hang out anymore!”

“At any time I am also afraid if something goes wrong again Boss!”

“You can just Ra! I'm sure it's not!”

“I'm still traumatized, Bang! Hehehe!” I giggled trying to tease Bang Ryco.

“Iya, especially as tomorrow there is also a meeting for our officials. There was a bird that accidentally fell into my ear. Prepare Ra. Just maybe!” Bang Ryco warned me, and I knew what Bang Ryco meant.

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“Ra, set this on the meeting table downstairs.” Mr. Febrian gave me orders.

“Ok, Sir.” I try to respond casually.

“Ra,” Mr. Febrian called out to me hesitantly making me stop my steps.

“Yes, what's up?”

“No,” I continued my steps back, leaving his room. Maybe he was worried about something similar, like what Bang Ryco warned him about yesterday.

“Yes Allah, strengthen me O Allah. Keep making me strong to hold my head up, publish a smile on my lips and emit an eye without pain.” My mind goes down the road, to the meeting room. Passing through the tightly closed room, the room that my heart dwellers used to inhabit when he was here.

I stepped without turning my eyes, in the deserted passageway. The meeting schedule is just two hours away. I laid out the files and provided drinking water to every seat, without me noticing that someone had entered the room and I saw that the door was closed. I just looked at the person who approached me.

“Ra,” Her greeting is painful in my heart. My eyelashes blinked when he got in front of me, looking at me not far away. Without realizing it, I was a step back.

“Darling,” I once again realized I was starting to avoid it, my heart felt uncomfortable mixed up should how I behave.

“Mas wants to talk to you,”

“Sorry, but I'm working.”

“Meeting is still a long time, sit down Mas want to talk to you dear.” I looked at her with question mark full of her choice of greeting to me, without complying with her request. He called my name my heart hurts, he called me darling I also questioned where my affection was.

“But my work is still much.”

“Mas knows this is not the right time, but Mas is afraid you do not want to meet Mas.”

“Have you asked?”

“Tu right, you have changed your language, is Mas wrong if Mas think like that?”

“I just want to put myself, sorry.”

“Darling, (I looked back at him until my eyes met his eyes, there was a deep sadness in his eyes ) Please, do I need to kneel?”

“ Won't change the existing reality.” My answer to ketus added to the sadness emanated in his eyes, making my eyes flooded.

“Mas please, (Mas Ferdian kneels in front of me who is still standing looking away from his sight) give Mas a chance to talk to you.” My heart was torn to shreds at her pain-filled words, considering that Sister Rinna had not been touched at all. My tears can't stop.

“Mas, don't be like this. Stand up.. “ I stretched out my hand, forgetting he was already the husband of another woman.

“Please promise if you want to talk to me. I won't stand if you don't want to talk to me.”

“Don't be silly, do you realize if your actions are not in accordance with your age?”

“Mas knows, Mas doesn't care. I know if I am selfish. Mas will remain like this if you have not promised to Mas, until all the meetings come in the beginning Mas will remain like this.”

“Kony!” I stepped up trying to leave him on his knees. He had no movement at all.

“Are you going to be as serious as what you said Mas?” my inner.

I waited for him outside the room, peeking at him he might be standing up soon after my departure, I waited for him outside for a quarter of an hour. But he wasn't standing yet, making me open the door handle that sounded hard enough not to take his eyes off who was still staring at the floor.

“Mas, stand.” He looked up at me, still not intending to stand up.

His eyes looked red and there were still traces of tears that had dripped down his cheeks. I knelt down on my knees teaching my body in front of him, looking at his gaze.

“Mas, let's stand. Your legs must have been tingling.” I held her thigh and rubbed her cheek that had been crossed by tears. He held my hand that was still stroking his cheek, grasped my hand and kissed it.

“I love you, Dek.” Her tears flowed without orders. I just nodded my head, sure of what he said.

Next episode yes,