Evelyn's Regret
Sixty Four
"How much do you want to have another baby?" Evelyn formed an abstract scratch with her index finger on Noah's chest that had since rubbed his head to sleep after exchanging their sweat tonight. Her discussion with Aira earlier made her desire to have a baby even greater.
She and Aira wanted to check on her best friend's pregnancy, but Darrel had invited Aira to come home soon. Looks like the man understood Noah and Evelyn to this town with the intention of honeymoon.
"Of course it's a very big darling" replied Noah half sleepy, seeming once that he was very tired.
"What will his face look like?" Evelyn muttered as yet had no intention to stop the chatter.
"Of course like my face or yours or the combination of our faces together is unlikely to be like Satria" Drowsiness made Noah speak. The surprised Evelyn immediately withdrew from Noah's arms. She looked at the face of her husband who still did not realize the anger of the wife's heart over her original speech.
"What do you mean by the name of Satria? I suspect I've been playing crazy with Satria?" For some reason Evelyn had a hard time holding back her emotions, Noah's statement really made her heart uncomfortable.
"Huh? what do you mean, honey, what am I talking about?" Noah who was surprised to see Eve as holding back a cry immediately realized. The sleepiness that attacked just vanished. He tried to remember the words that ignited the emotions of the wife.
"You said our son would be like you or like me or the combination of the two of us would not be like Satria" Evelyn repeated the sentence Noah said, the man seemed to frown in confusion. Well it can be said that word should not be thrown but it feels like a tongue sprain that he did not like that until Evelyn had to look angry and as sad as this.
"Sorry baby, I'm just sleepy so I didn't realize that I could say it. Please forgive me dear" There is no harm in admitting wrongdoing for the sake of the peace of the heart of his beloved wife.
"So my question is disturbing your sleep huh?" This time Evelyn's voice was sounding weak. Her tears even piled up.
"What kind of wife am I, insensitive when her husband is sleepy and needs rest" Evelyn's voice trembled with the cry. Noah again gawked, he did not understand why his wife behaved strangely as usual.
"Dear you why? I'm not at all disturbed. I'm sorry, huh?" Noah rubbed his wife's hair so gently.
"I'm sorry, I'm resting already" Evelyn said. Noah is confused as to what to do to restore his wife's mood.
"Well, do you want to sleep now or do you want to talk?" Tawar Noah's.
"Sleep, I'm sleepy" Evelyn hugged Noah again and closed her eyes. Secretly Evelyn also felt strange about her attitude. He did not understand why his mood tonight was so messy and so quickly changed.
Noah who is also still stricken with confusion clutches his wife's tiny body tightly. He kissed Evelyn's head and unceasingly rubbed her gently hoping it could treat Eve's annoyance at her speech.
***
But he was so agitated, he recalled the moment Darrel drove him home.
"Please think back to my offer Ra. My life won't be quiet if I don't marry you. I don't want to be plagued by guilt for the rest of my life" Darrel spoke up after silence colored their journey. Although they have tried to be as normal as possible after the incident, but still the awkward feeling they can not avoid it.
Aira sighed heavily, so pitiful as to be married for sheer penance. Can't he realize the dream he built long ago about his dream ideal marriage?
Aira subconsciously rubbed her stomach, if there really was a baby there should she slip away trapped in marriage with one-sided love?
Aira recalled her conversation with Darrel.
"Ra answered me, please lower your ego. Am I that bad that you don't want to marry me?" Darrel's tone of voice sounded desperate. Aira was very worried.
"But Rel, love is the life in marriage. I don't want to get married just because of responsibility. I want to marry once in a lifetime with the person I love and love me." Aira. And well Aira again had to swallow disappointed when Darrel was unable to refute his remarks. If only Darrel had said that he loved her even if only a lie Aira would have accepted.
Not much different from Aira, Darrel also could not close his eyes. The shadow of a hot night with Aira still haunts him. Although it should not be but in the least there is no regret for what has happened. It's just that he felt guilty to his best friend, especially when he knew he was the first man for Aira.
The guilt that he could only redeem by marrying Aira, he was so sure to marry the girl there was no doubt.
"Aira why must be stubborn like this" muttered Darrel, he was very tired of facing the rejections that Aira always did.
Anger haunted him when he remembered Tara, the girl who had betrayed him to make him forget himself and fuck Aira. But strangely the man's heart refused when he considered what he did to Aira to be limited to venting his pain in Tara, he did not deny that he was so enjoying his romance with Aira. He could not deny the fact that he did it with heart and soul.
Darrel squeezed his hair firmly, he was so restless and chaotic with the problems he was facing. He grabs his phone, opens Aira's contact, but hesitates to press the phone sign considering the day is so late.
"Good night Aira, good night. I hope you can soften your heart, suppress your ego and accept responsibility from me. Open your heart Aira" Finally Darrel prefers to send a short message to the girl.
Darrel sighed, He doesn't really understand why Aira always rejects her. Darrel is sure it's not that Aira has loved another man, she knows Aira has forgotten Marcell.
Is it that bad to marry a best friend to Aira? If Aira did not want to marry him then why did the girl not refuse when she was sleeping with him? can Aira refuse? because despite being overrun by alcohol Darrel is still quite aware of what is happening. He believes he can still control himself if Aira refuses to have that relationship.
***
