About the Heart

I Want to Say No

"Why not go in?" asked Mr. Aryan when he found me to pause a moment in front of Mas Rud's ward.

I bit my lower lip. "Can you go in first?"

Mr. Aryan looked at me. "Of course you can, you baper, huh?" asked Mr. Aryan then with a smile.

I didn't answer, I followed Mr. Aryan into Mas Rud's ward. Apparently Mas Rud was receiving another guest besides us. A handsome, handsome man was chatting with Mas Rud. The two of them turned their heads, as we stepped in closer to the two.

"Lord Aryan Satya Dharma," the handsome man greeted Mr. Aryan.

Mr. Aryan shook the man's hand in a friendly manner. "Mr Alexander Kemal Malik, how are you? Didn't expect we could meet here."

Mr. Alex saw Mas Rud. "I'm going to pick up my bodyguard."

Mr. Aryan nodded, understanding who Mr. Alex meant. "We would like to see your bodyguard, sir," explained Mr. Aryan before Mr. Alex asked the purpose of our arrival.

"Please!" Mr. Alex invited us to meet Mas Rud. I smiled at Mr. Alex, Rianti's husband who was also the boss of Mas Rud. Mr. Aryan invited me to sit on the chair beside Mas Rud's bed.

"This, Mr. Aryan, Mas, who helped me bring Mas here yesterday" I explained.

Mas Rud smiled and extended his hand. "I, Rud, thank you for helping me yesterday, Sir."

Mr. Aryan welcomed Mas Rud's hand. "Call Aryan, how are you?"

They were involved in a conversation about yesterday's incident. I don't know why I feel like they're so familiar when they just get to know each other. While they were chatting, I struggled with my own thoughts.

How could, Mas Rud, be Mr Alex's bodyguard? Why be a bodyguard? Why did he choose a life-threatening job? Switching from a manager to a bodyguard, a question I find hard to answer.

"Sa, you had a chat with Rud, I had a little business with Mr. Alex" said Mr. Aryan who then left us both, then sat on the sofa with Mr. Alex.

Smiling, it was the first thing I did after being alone with her. I was confused about what to chat about, because my intention here was only to restore his HP.

I took the HP out of my bag. "I'm here to turn this around, Mom."

I handed the HP to his right hand. But out of my mind, he suddenly clasped my finger and held it in his fingers. I pulled my hand but it was stronger.

Oh my God .. What else does he want? In situations like this, still looking for opportunities. Does he also not remember that here there is Mr. Alex, the boss. Did he not think what if his master saw what he was doing. Bodyguard how do you feel like a girl? The bodyguard should focus on his job. I really don't understand his attitude.

"Rud, we need to leave this hospital immediately, is your business done?" Mr. Alex came up to us and said with his voice full of dignity.

This opportunity I took to release my hand. But apparently Mas Rud was not disturbed by the arrival of his boss. He kept holding my finger. I feel uncomfortable with this situation.

"What is this, the woman who caught you off guard and got shot?" Mr. Alex smiled.

I just lowered my head but from the corner of my eyes I could still see that Mas Rud was smiling in response to his boss's question. He didn't answer yes or no. Mr. Aryan came closer to us. It seems our conversation also caught his attention.

"You cornered my pretty girl?" chirped Mr. Aryan later.

Mr. Alex squinted his eyes. "You're fighting over this woman?"

A thunderous laughter sounded from Mr. Alex. He looked at Pak Aryan and Mas Rud alternately. Maybe he was thinking why the usual me like this could be contested by two people he knew.

"Rud, you should ask for my help if you want to defeat him. I know Mr. Aryan is goodboy, never once did he sound like playing with women, so I'm sure this time he really loved your girl" Alex explained.

"I, who will win her heart again, Master," convinced Mas Rud as he glanced at me.

Mr. Aryan also did not want to be silent. "Dear Lord Alex, why did you open the card, I."

I was caught off guard hearing the three of them make me the topic of conversation. "I already have a husband, sir."

Instead of stopping, Mr. Alex was even more interested in continuing the conversation. "So, you two are fighting over somebody's future wife, you are so brave!"

I feel like I want to get rid of myself in front of them as soon as possible. It could be that these men cornered a weak woman like me.

"Hi, Rud, let go of your grasp, she's someone's future wife. I can find you another single woman" Alex bargained.

I forgot my hand was still in his hands. I immediately withdrew my hand but again Mas Rud held it back. I looked into his eye bead. "Let go of my hand, Mom," I softened my voice.

Mas Rud brought his face to my ear. "Now that I let you go, when I'm healed I'll come to see you."

I closed my ears to all the words he said. I turned towards Mr. Aryan who was chatting with Mr. Alex. "Let's go home now, sir." After seeing me, Mr. Aryan also said goodbye to Mas Rud and Mr. Alex.

"In that case, we say goodbye first, Rud may soon recover. Mr. Alex, we'll step down first."

I simply smiled at Mas Rud and Mr. Alex. Then I stepped ahead of Mr. Aryan's step, to get out of his room immediately. I no longer allow my eyes on Mas Rud. It was enough today that he made my heart growl in fog. It was as if he had left a wound and had just said he would be back without a burden. What is my heart? He can come and go as he pleases.

Mr. Aryan is embracing my shoulder. "A good friend will strengthen a weak friend, let alone a weak heart like you."

*****

"Why did you bring me here?" many confused.

I was too focused on my heartbreak, until the time I spent getting out of the hospital, in Mr. Aryan's car to get here felt like an empty memory. Inhere? Yes, a deserted city park. Mr. Aryan and I were sitting on a park bench that offered a clear view of the fountain.

"You, you need to clear your heart, Sa. That's why I brought you here" explained Mr. Aryan.

Right, my mood is fucked up. I need to clear my mind of the waste of past love. I don't want this but somehow I can't control my feelings. The embossed taste sank for Mas Rud.

"Take a meal, don't let Rud think, you're thin. How am I gonna take responsibility for your Dion, later?" seloroh Mr. Aryan.

Mr. Aryan brought me my favorite "Rujak Cingur" plate, a menu that I had enjoyed together with him in the city park, yes in the city park that I now occupy. I didn't realize when he was leaving and he suddenly came back. Like Mas Rud, he suddenly left and now came back with a plate of disturbing taste. Ah, why Mas Rud again?

"Why, Father, do I have to take responsibility for myself to Dion?" I was slow to respond to Mr. Aryan's question.

"Because I'm your friend" replied briefly, densely and clearly Mr. Aryan.

"You, still love her, Sa?" ulik Pak Aryan's.

That question was a question that was also lodged in my mind all along. A question I haven't found the answer to. The real question I want to answer is no, but I doubt the answer is no. The questions I have to answer are no, no and no.

"I don't want to love her anymore, sir," I'm honest.

I took a breath and I spouted the spicy chirpy chirp into my mouth. I hope that the rumbling of my feelings can be muffled by the spiciness of the food I chew. In fact, this feeling is deeper. I take my long breath again.

"Nobody can control feelings, Sa. You, just follow your heart. That's the right thing" Mr. Aryan said.

"My heart is confused, sir. Ohya, you just advised me or confided, sir?" I tried to joke around to get rid of my misfortune.

Mr. Aryan smiled smirkingly at my innuendo. "Yes .. You know how I feel about you."

"Don't go on, sir, I've been dizzy thinking about Mas Rud, don't force me to think about you too" I asked.

"I'm a mature man, where might I do that. I realized how my position between you guys, I was happy enough to be your friend" he said as he continued to feed the chirping to his mouth.

L saw. "If you can already consider me a friend, you must immediately find a future wife."

"If I find one woman like you, I will definitely marry her soon" explained Mr. Aryan with a flickering eye.

"Say, you want to be a weathered bachelor, sir," I said casually.

Mr. Aryan glanced at me spoiled, his hands shuffling hair at the top of my head. "If you're chatty, I can change my mind."

*****

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If you want to know more about Mr. Alex's story, please visit the novel Marriage Contract by Tya Gunawan.