About the Heart

Messed

Mr. Dhe's words really messed with my mind. Although I have drowned my body in bed, but in fact this eternity still floats in my heart.

"Aarrggghhh!" i'm yelling.

"Father," always that word comes to my mind whenever I get an injustice.

My mind is still embedded, if none of this would have happened if papa was still here. If you hadn't gone this fast, I would still be able to enjoy my happy day without pressure from anyone. Moreover, the pressure with the word "Janda Child" that I really do not like horrified him.

I tried to open HP, I wanted to feel like I complained to Mas Rud. But my WA wasn't read. I think he's asleep. Tired of driving this afternoon. I'm looking for ways to reduce my mind's mess, but my mind is blanking out.

"Do I have to run away?" my illogical mind started playing.

I'm messing with my hair.

"But where are you going to run? Should I stay alone? gecko for example?" my brain keeps me thinking.

I didn't find an answer either. Until 04:00 I was still awake. My sleepiness is gone. I took ablution and faced the Most High. I'm talking about everything I can't tell anyone else. I let my cry go! I was caught up in a long prayer. Plead fully for the exit that I must get immediately.

*****

"Mbak Rosa, tumben early in the morning already up to the office?" Mr. Yadi, security office greeted me.

I replied with a smile and passed. It was still early in the morning blind. At this hour, I usually laze in bed. But the tiredness that was holding me, took me to want to leave the house immediately. I am usually the most at home, because Ardi home is the place I should immediately avoid.

My departure was also without my mother.

I'm totally screwed. My image as a good child will change the stamp of an ungodly child, if this situation will continue.

I know who I am! I'm a person who can't be forced to like something, especially matters of the heart. Big No for matchmaking!

"I'm sorry, honey, I didn't reply to your WA! What was? I didn't go into the office today. I'm out of town 2 days." WA Mas Rud's.

I'm not sure yet to tell Mas Rud about last night's troubles. Moreover, he's going out of town. I don't want to burden him first, because he must have some important business. I'll delay the time to tell her.

*****

"You, where is it? This hour of tumben has not come," WA I to Maya.

"I'm taking a vacation, Sa," Maya replies.

"Tumben, is there any ap?" kepo many.

"Nemenin Mas Rendra found his parents" Maya replies again.

I can guess what the next answer would be if I kept asking. At the very end is also about the application problem.

"May it work!" my prayer.

"Amijin!" Maya agreed with a heart.

*****

"Sa, don't BT, there's no us!" WA Mas Rendra later.

"Don't show off! Go back and back again! I lost a friend because of you!" reply me with a red-horned face emoticon.

"Don't get mad! 'Ni I sent you a photo so that your miss is treated," explained Mas Rendra.

5 Photos of us on the beach yesterday popping up in my WA. There is a photo of four selfies on the beach, a photo of 2 pairs of lovebirds hugging each other that we are the cast, there is a photo of Maya and Mas Rendra both, and, there is a photo of Mas Rendra and Mas Rud eating noodles level 10, and 1 more picture of me and Mas Rud playing the waves.

My heart is glad to see it. But there is sadness behind my pleasure. I am happy to have them. But I was afraid that one day I would lose them. Losing you to Mas Rud!

Ahhh mind what is this ...?