About the Heart

Alone

The atmosphere of the office was completely deserted without them. I muffled the chaos of my heart and chose to focus on the heaped work. A cup of coffee sits next to my laptop. I shaved it while it was hot to get rid of the drowsiness that stuck tightly in my eyes.

I became indifferent to my health. My lunch, I just missed it. My appetite is minus, no taste.

Office hours that have ended, do not necessarily make me move to leave. Blowing yourself out is the most appropriate answer for me. Until 20:00 I stared faithfully at my laptop.

"I still have to go home!" muttered.

I clean my desk and I walk away from my room. Step by step, it finally led me to a meatball shop at the end of the street about 500m from my office.

"The meatballs and orange angetnya, Ma'am," said Mbak who delivered my order.

Yes ... This food will inhabit my stomach all day. This bowl was so quick I emptied it. Hoping that with the empty bowl, my HP that had been quiet would be a little crowded. Even after I wait it's still "ZONK".

*****

My desolate days became perfect with a silent night as well. There's no word from Mas Rud.

"Maybe he's busy" I'm trying to positively think.

I tinker with my HP, hoping there's WA coming in.

Sepi ... deserted .. deserted ....

How to torture this loneliness.

There is no Mas Rud that I miss. There is no Maya and Mas Rendra who are ignorant. And there was no mother I loved, though I often had disagreements with her.

Yes ... Mom is staying at home. And that makes me so scared. There will be a bigger tempest, which will happen after this. I'm sure mama's facing court at the house.

*****

Day two goes like yesterday. My loneliness was higher, thus lowering my work focus. There was no breakfast, no lunch and maybe no dinner. I'm also confused as to why I don't feel hungry.

There was no food in my stomach, in line with no news from Mas Rud. I don't know where the lover I love is!

*****

Day three, my loneliness became more acute. My indifference to food is also getting out of control. I forgot that I was a man who needed to eat. I don't know when was the last time I put rice in my mouth.

All I had in mind, was the sudden disappearance of Mas Rud. I read it but it was not answered. My phone was left without an answer.

What the hell's going on?

*****

Day four, though,

Mas Rud should have been back from yesterday, but until lunch hour there was no sign he would come to the office.

Maya and Mas Rendra were lost to the earth. Why do they seem to have planned to leave me without any news? There's a big question running through my brain.

My brain is heating up because I'm forced to keep thinking. My head feels dizzy and goes around in circles. My stomach feels wrapped around and getting more and more unbearable pain. My body weakened and I lost control of my consciousness.

I feel it all blackening. My eyes were dark and I could not see. But my ears, I can still hear from a distance. The voices calling my name. Once, twice and over and over again. My nose keeps smelling the distinctive aroma of eucalyptus oil! I wanted to open my eyes, but it felt heavy and heavy.

I'm powerless.