About the Heart

Mutely

"You can't go home if you can't make up. Talk from heart to heart!" Om Septian left his motor key on the desk and left immediately.

Silent.

The noise that echoed throughout the cafe because of the melody that sang hurt songs, unable to melt the ice between me and Dion. He who remains faithful with his cold attitude keeps me also fixated on the same position.

Pretend to enjoy a song that calls for wounds, but the heart like can no longer withstand the pain of the royal. Occasionally I play my HP, driving away the boredom that hit because no words were created. He was the same, preferring to dwell with a flat object in his hand.

No more warm lemon tea left in my glass. This drink I made the tumbal to restore my body temperature in the normal category. This cold night, it was getting frozen as we were riveted in silence. The warmth I should have gotten from him was painful when I had to be replaced by a glass of lemon tea.

Time passed, the minutes changed as if running after the clock that was increasingly leading to the darkness of the night. Neither word was spoken, as if racing against the roar of time in a race of silence.

Stiff and really mute. Let alone the word, the eyes were reluctant to just glance from the point of view of the sense of sight. Straight and down, that's the most favorite position of the heads of two humans named Rosalia Citra Atmadja and Dion Wijaya.

"Come, go home!"

Finally, two words came out of his mouth. It is not a word that refers to a move to start a peace, but a call to return home. Without waiting for me, he just stepped up. Stay away from the cafe area and go to the spacious parking lot that became a contest of the motorbike key that Om Septian handed over.

He was ready on top of his motorcycle seat with a typical CB motor exhaust backsound. Without waiting for orders, I sat myself in the back seat. Without a word from him I replied with no touch from me. Ah I don't know why we tested each other's strength in the mouth-locking race.

The motor starts to run at medium speed tends to slow down. Still silent, we still feel at home to not make a sound. Even when half the way home we had already passed, we still activated the silence mode. How long will this happen? I can't promise when that happens either.

The remaining half of the journey had already reached its finish. The motorbike we were driving started to turn towards the gate of the grand family residence of Eyang. The closed iron door is forced to make the tire must be willing to be touched rough by the brake. I cut the distance I had already stretched. Touching him was a abstinence as we silenced each other.

I went down and tried to open the gate. Unfortunately, the door was locked from the inside.

It seemed that Om Septian was serious about his words. There's no word to go home before we make up.

Realizing what happened, Dion got off the bike and walked to the side of the gate. Pressing the bell that was deliberately installed there.

Without waiting for long, the door was opened by a Father I knew, Mr. Man, that was his calling. He is someone whom Eyang trusted to take care of all the plants in this area of the house.

I smiled when I saw his face in front of me. I left Dion without looking at him. Walked towards Dion's house in desperation to get some rest. Unfortunately, my steps were blocked. There was Om Septian, Mas Rendra and Maya were chatting with laughter.

"I go in first, yeah. Sorry, can't join," I said as I made a smile as natural as possible.

"Sa," called Maya with a nose dive that made me melt too.

I took my seat next to Maya. He hugged me as if he hadn't met for a long time. "I miss you, you know."

"Shame, ah. The future mother is still spoiled like this?" my sindirku responded to Maya's sway in my hand.

"Tokcer really, it just happened last night. DP used to be like this," said Om Septian without sin.

"Who was it, dong? Rendra, so!" arrogant Mas Rendra while puffing his chest.

"Here, another broken heart!" call Om Septian when Dion passes us and is about to pass by.

Om Septian's hand managed to grab Dion's arm before he had a chance to step inside. His attempt to release his hand failed and was forced to make Dion resigned to listen to the notice.

"Is it better?" emphatic Om Septian.

Dion seemed reluctant to answer. Moreover, his attitude that does not singleness smile can already explain that we are still silent to each other. He let out a rough breath and was forced to sit on the seat that was the farthest away from me. And it further confirms that we still cannot relax the selfishness to talk to each other from heart to heart.

"Sa, if you break up with Dion mending the quarry with Rud, deh. The heart should not be left empty for long" Mas Rendra provokatori.

Sentences full of emotion that has not been able to swallow the victim. Dion was still sitting leisurely with his flat expression. Even he occasionally took a snack and swallowed it without any distress. As if to show if he is okay with our current status.

"I am also ready to be your new heart," I Om Septian raised his eyebrows.

"Om holding Dion's ex?" seloroh Mas Rendra.

Om Septian looked at me as he scrunched his forehead. "I guess, that bucinku pound has not tasted it yet" Om Septian quipped as he glanced at Dion who was more focused on peeling off the pea than listening to our chatter.

"Ah .. yes, maybe he was already before Rud," again Mas Rendra deliberately lured Dion to speak.

"Mas, don't say that, same feelings as Rosa," Maya tried to understand my feelings.

A woman's feelings are cornered due to mistakes rooted from her heart. A small betrayal that is increasingly ignited into a large fire that can eventually burn a relationship. Scorching a building based on love and knocking it down.

"No 'pa 'pa, May," I said as flat as possible.

That is indeed a reality. A free statement to deny. I confess everything, wrong feelings, made right feelings ignored and now I'm completely consumed with guilt. I took a deep breath, preparing myself to say a sentence that I never really wanted to say.

"Om, Mas Ren, May, Rosa's coming back to Jakarta tomorrow. Thanks for everything, a few days here gave me many unforgettable memories. May our friends stay awake, yes," I said while holding back the sensation of sadness.

I want my tears not to melt in front of them. Trying to keep smiling, although in the end the tears still melted as well. Maya immediately spat out my arms. Rubbing my back gently, giving strength with her touch. Not many sentences that he uttered but his embrace has made me understand everything he wants to say.

"Nothing's gonna change with us, Sa. You are still my best friend," she said in a voice holding back tears.

There's no word I can say to reply to him. I just held my arms, hinting that he still had the same position in my heart, whenever. Some time we were swept away in the depth of taste.

Slowly loosen my touch, give her a smile. Talk through my eyes that I'll be okay. After I thought there was enough time to say goodbye, I moved on. "Everyone, I'm in first."

Without looking at Dion, I stepped into the house. Exhaling rough breaths, relief. I've told you all. Stay back to Jakarta and open a new day unharmed. Let this lara I leave in Jogja with the owner.

*****

I immediately threw my body down as soon as I entered the room. The eyes want to be closed but the mind comes first. Showing scene after scene of my silence and Dion. I actually still want to fight but seeing you give up, I give up. I don't want to force my race if you don't want to love me anymore. Maybe you've been exhausted. Let my regret strike when that love begins to come.

I took a picture of you in my wallet. How to store the obsolete but this is precisely the depth of my race. You are everywhere I want to see you. I kissed the picture of you selfie, made me smile, made me miss that beautiful arch on your lips.

My tears are back. Realize that now my race to you is so deep. Scrubbing wounds and settling lara. I closed my eyes, holding your picture in my arms. My mind floated and finally sank into a dreamland that I might not want to leave behind.