About the Heart

Seeking Answers

Hygiene ...

In this room that was just me and Dion, there was no chat activity at all. As soon as I entered the room and saw him sitting in his great chair, I could not speak. The slur of the question I had just addressed over the phone, suddenly I stopped looking for the answer.

"Mr Rosa, it's almost one hour now, until when will you just shut up? Don't you intend to go back to work?" formal insinuation.

"Why don't you give me my WA back?" ask me in the end.

"Sorry, Mom, it's in the office. I can't discuss matters outside of work, '" answered Dion, who was so stifling to my heart.

Without permission, I took my foot out of the room. I really don't appreciate my efforts. If you could be angry for no reason, I would do the same. Just look, how far you hold me.

*****

"What time is it, Miss Rosa? Why did you just come back from lunch?" asked Mr. Aryan pretentiously when I just arrived at my desk when the time showed at 14:00 WIB.

"Later I will overtime sir to replace my delay," I promised without seeing it.

"All right," he said and left me.

The huft!

One hour of overtime? Now just want to work in the mood, let alone extend the time.

Aarrgghh!

Why would he mess up my brain's work system? Dion was so great. I was just fucked up. While Dion I screwed up for ten years, he stood still as firm as a rock.

*****

My mind still can't make compromises to work overtime. Dion's cold attitude really made me confused. He doesn't usually shut me down like this. Usually he will spill all his tastes, whether it is anger or jealousy. All this time, whatever mistakes I made, he would always forgive me. Now then? Is ...?

I put my head on the table. I think I'd like to fall asleep for a while. Forgetting Dion for a moment and my problems caused by him. It turns out that a man's jealousy can be very irritating, difficult to understand. I gave my mother advice the other day.

My thoughts drifted on the activities I spent with Mr. Aryan last night at the night market. Looks like Dion's residence started from that second. Was there a mistake we made that night? What part made him dislike?

The voice of azan magrib, which sounded thirty minutes ago, still makes me lazy to go home. I'm also confused why I still want to be here, even though my mind can't work with me. Maybe I miss the guy who always picks me up moments like this.

"You, really overtime, Sa?" ask the person I'm sure is Mr. Aryan.

I still put my head on the table. "Kan, you told me to go overtime."

"What I see is that you sleep, Sa, not overtime" said Mr. Aryan.

"Father misunderstood," I said slowly straightening up.

Mr. Aryan was surprised to see my face. My scuffed face that befriended with eyes that showed residual sadness. Perfect is my ugly face in front of him.

"That's your face really tangled, abis broke up, huh?" ledek Pak Aryan's.

"Enak, aja, if the intention of the doain is fine, why the hell?" I said as I walked leaving him to go to the pantry.

"Wash your face in the toilet, Sa, not in the pantry" recalled Mr. Aryan who was following me.

"I want a coffee, sir," I'm short.

"Bikinin coffee, yes," pinta Pak Aryan.

"Why do you follow me? Go home, sir, waiting for the wife's child at home, tuh," as usual.

"My schedule is again my second wife, nih," he joked.

"Don't cause trouble, sir. Yesterday was not yet round, I'm dizzy nih didiemin Dion," finally I even vent.

"Which night?" Mr. Aryan took a look.

"Overnight, which we walk in the night market, sir. What we're calling for is eating meatballs. Which was then hit by Anggen. The problem is I don't know, which part makes Dion angry," I explained again.

"Should I help you explain to Dion?" haggar Pak Aryan.

"No need, sir," I said.

"Hopefully your problems run fast, yes. I want to go home first, come together!" said Mr. Aryan

"Father, go first" I replied.

*****

Night is the best time to drown out all the fatigue. Wishing dreamland offers a more beautiful story than a grueling reality. Fighting in a relationship is common. But selfishness often turns a small problem into an abandoned one and eventually into a thorn that can pierce into a larger dispute. I was guilty of enjoying a night together with Mr. Aryan but Dion was also not right to silence me without any explanation. Where's Dion who always misses me for his patience with me?

Is he getting tired of my selfish and powerful attitude? Is he going to leave me like Mas Rud used to? Do I have to go to him again to finish this? But why should I? Why wasn't he the one looking for an explanation for something that made him angry? Wh why?

I look at my HP again. Is there a message coming in to ask me? Nothing, absolutely no trace of him contacting me. When will his anger end?

I turned off my HP and I just left it on my couch. My step out onto the balcony. Look at the sky which also looks sad. It was as if I had promised with my heart to visualize the image of my broken heart.

My rough breath just like that. I just realized that Dion has had a huge impact on my life. His presence so far that I do not consider so special turned out to have managed to hold me in the confines of love.

"Sir, there's a guest downstairs," Kristy came to me to give me that info and turned back around without telling me who the guest was looking for me at 20:00 like this.

Between taking a shower or going straight to the guests who were looking for me, I finally decided to go down, see who visited these nights. I slowly set my foot on the floor to get to the living room. My feisty initial steps were slowed even to a halt when I saw Dion sitting on the sofa playing his HP.

Lousy. That's the feeling I feel now. I wanted to say hello first but I felt so reluctant. I'm still traumatized ignored like I was this afternoon.

"Sit down" she asked, which made me feel wrong.

Shouldn't it be me who greeted him first as the host. Yes that's ...

I sat myself on the sofa opposite him. This atmosphere was like two people who had not known each other, sitting far apart. Even though if we are getting along, we contested the single sofa.

"Last afternoon looking for me at the office, what's up?" Dion started talking.

"You're angry with me? Why am I calling you to ignore?" I began to pour out everything that was troubling my mind..

Dion had yet to make a sound, he fiddled with his HP and then placed it on the table. "What's this?"

At first glance I noticed a photo that appears on the HP screen. Showing Mr. Aryan eating meatballs in my hand. But because the shooting angle came from the right behind me, the photo seemed to show Mr. Aryan who was about to kiss me.

Apparently this is what made you silence me. All righty! I can understand your feelings.. Which man wouldn't be angry if his woman was doing that. "What happened is not what is seen in this photo. We can't do it, it's in a public place.

Highlight Dion's normally shady eyes, this time showing sharpness. There seems to be an improper selection of my words. Owgh .. I know!

"I mean, I'm not going to do that with Mr. Aryan, you know me and he's just a friend. Even if you're my fiancee, I'm just doing nothing more than a kiss" I explained, confirming the misunderstanding.

"You guys dating?" interrogated again.

Patience .. patience .. patience! Facing someone who is being hit with jealousy can not just be patient with the economy class. Moreover, the person he was jealous of was the person I said yesterday as a more established and handsome person than him. Tomorrow I have to be wiser with my words so as not to backfire like this.

"We just stopped by to buy gulali," my newspaper said.

Dion still stared at me sharply. "It doesn't look like gulali."

I exhale violently. "That's a puncture meatball."

"Says buy gulali, why be a meatball?" search continues.

Patience .. Patience ...! It turns out that business class and executive patience is not enough

"You ever walk, don't you, Di? If you look at good food, what is the intention to buy, what will you buy? everyone wants to be tempted" I explained.

"You mean, you also want to try Aryan? Am I not satisfied with you?" the jealousy is getting more and more unguided.

Is it wrong again? Ish ... how should you try to explain it? What language should I use?

"It's not a matter of not being satisfied with you but ...," I was confused to explain.

He still stared hard at me. That view makes it even harder for me to choose a word that can explain easily so that he understands what happened.

"Are you thinking of seeking satisfaction from him because I always reject you?" dion's question is moving away from the source of the problem.

"Yes, I can't stand it because you always reject me, so marry me so I don't seek satisfaction from others" I turned my back.

"Well, if that's the case I'll marry you as soon as possible" asked Dion.

"Come on!" my answer is full of confidence.

"Yes, come on, but not now, too, baby," reason.

Ish ... nolak but call dear. Fuck up!

"I want it now" I whine.

"It can't be so ..," Dion continued to reason.

"Can, come! Where's your car key?" my door stood up.

"Make what?" Dion was still sitting quietly.

I approached Dion, I pulled his hand so he could stand up. He also rose. I'll raise my hand. "Where?"

I didn't answer the question, it was just that my hand kept getting closer to his face. It sucks, Dion just kept quiet. My patience is running low, I found the car keys myself. My hands began to guerrilla from one pocket to the other in every inch of his clothes. At the top of the body cover is nil, because there is no pocket.

"Where?" ask again.

"I can't marry you right now" she replied, not according to the question I asked.

I turned her back to look for the key in the back pocket of the jeans she was wearing. I can't find it in both pockets either.

Between uncomfortable and before I finally decided to check in the front pocket on the right. I haven't had time to put my hand in completely, it's been patted by Dion.

"Would you like to*me?" ask him because I constantly care.

"At first, yes, but now that I've changed my mind, I've found what I'm looking for" I said after seeing the car keys on the couch before Dion sat down.

Immediately I held Dion's hand and pulled him away. "Come on!"