THE SHADOW OF THE PAST
BML part 26
#SHADOW_MASA_LAST
Part-26s
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"Thank you for everything that has ever been between us, thank you for our togetherness during these 6 years, thank you for all the love and thank you for this wound".
I got off Rangga's car, these tears I can't hide. I ran into my car.
This wound is deepening, but at least I've given my love a chance.
-----
I still calm myself behind the steering wheel, these tears seem to not stop, I have wiped them many times.
This heart still hopes that Rangga will pursue me, let me take the world for you. I'll put my wounds aside, if you come to me now.
I can only laugh at myself, it's Nabila, don't you wait, it won't come to you.
Release yourself, free your love from those who cannot protect your heart.
No matter how much he confesses his love for you, the truth is that he didn't choose you.
He puts your race aside, he ignores your love, he doesn't care about you.
Ah.. Rangga turned out to be only this limited my meaning to you.
I drove my car slowly, I went back to the boutique.
I didn't see Sintia on her desk, it was better. He's not gonna ask these puffy eyes.
I went straight into my room. Put my bag down and sit this down.
Still thinking about what just happened. Trying to encourage yourself, trying to be strong.
It still hurts more than before...
Nabila ... Nabila..
I put my head over the folds of my hand
Closing my tired eyes.
"Sister, sister Nabila"
The little wobble in my arms woke me up, I was lazy to open my eyes, Sintia was standing next to me.
"Sister sick?", he asked later.
"Just overslept Sint" I replied as I forced my eyes to open wider.
"Nobody's crying again"
"Yes, rather than being a disease, if it is crying, it seems to subside" I replied.
"Because of Rangga's brother again?"
"Dad met earlier, when my brother finished sending files to Satriya mas".
"Continue?"
Sintia sat in front of me.
"Sister take me home"
"Huh, continues? His brother?"
"No want to "
Sintia narrowed her eyes.
"So really, Nabila, say that, would you do it?"
I nodded, mad at my hand.
"Sister who is patient, Sintia believes God has prepared someone better for Brother"
"So don't go home, don't force it"
I nodded, Sintia is right I better calm myself at home.
-----
It is not easy to go through the day with all the wounds of the heart, and to enjoy this pain.
But there are those who are always there for me, who do not leave me alone in this pain
I am lucky to have people who care about me. Who always wanted my smile and laughter. And that always comforts me.
And Wira, I'm not insensitive as a woman, not that I don't feel, that she cares about me more than anything else. But it's more comfortable to build a sense of being a friend, not playing with feelings and having Feby, I don't want any misunderstandings to ruin their relationship.
Mas Firman, he was accompanying mba Ajeng to seek treatment in Singapore. But it's like taking medicine, 3 x in a day always ask me news, even though sometimes I just returned the night, since I knew Rangga and I separated his attention more than usual, he said, maybe he just wanted to make sure I was okay.
I love him, but I don't dare to want it, a complicated relationship.
What is the difference between me and Karina if I am the cause of the separation between mba Ajeng and mas Firman. Even though it cannot be equated but the context remains the same.
Although there was already Armand our baby, which until now he did not know. Sometimes there is pity for keeping the truth from the Word. And I don't know when.
But all I did was for my Armand, not willing to give hurt at his very young age. Let it be like this until he is great and can understand everything that has happened.
My divorce process also seems not much time consuming, we both use the services of lawyers, with my position as a resident.
Mas Satriya told me, did not encounter any difficulties so that in the near future all will be finished.
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[Bebz, I've bought a gift for Dian, we'll go to the hospital.]
That morning in a message from Vivian, our employee Dian just gave birth yesterday.
[Yes, I'll go straight to the clinic]
My reply.
"What are you cooking here?" I asked that morning, I was ready to leave.
I'm not usually comfortable with the smell of food. But lately, every smell of onions is so uncomfortable.
"This cook Sop mba, do you want breakfast?" Ask me. I'm dodging
"Please make some warm tea" I asked.
My coffee has Nini prepared on the table, but I'm not drinking it.
"Well, no strobery jam?"
Ninin was seen opening the refrigerator, and taking out one jar of jam I asked for.
"Tumben, usually Nini who ngabisin, like chocolate" he said when giving jam to me.
"Just take it" I said.
Nini brought back some warm tea and put it in front of me.
"Mba" said Nini to me, I answered by raising my eyebrows, for still chewing my mouth bread.
"That's a handsome doctor who comes here so often?" Nini asked about the hero.
I drank my warm tea after putting a cup of bread into my stomach.
"Entar mba tanyain to Wira" I replied
"It's not that" he said again.
I actually understand the direction of the question.
"By trus? Mba asked kesapa?, did you want to know the reason why Wira often here"
"Hiihh, mbak cook really do not feel if Mr. Doctor likes the same mba When" said Nini anxious.
"You know, if you don't like it, you can't be close, but everyone also likes the same beautiful and cute mba, Vivian, Lo...". I did not continue my sentence because Nini immediately resigned me.
I laughed at the expression on his face, which was upset.
"Nin, let's go first" I shouted.
There's no answer. Only after I said my greetings did he answer.
---
I've been waiting in my room, Vivian hasn't been seen coming. I also don't see the hero who usually comes in the morning.
Tumben.
"Assalamualaikum" my door opened with greetings from Wira.
"Waalaikumsalam" I replied.
"Tumben noon Doctor?" my question is, he pulls up a chair and sits in front of my desk.
"Yes kangen?"
"Ihh "reply me.
"It's usually early in the morning"
My next.
"He just arrived this morning, abis palkam". The answer.
Just remember he took 2 days off yesterday.
"I'll drop ya, make Dian" Wira gives a white aplop.
I took it and put it in my bag.
"Same Vivian ajha?" He asked, I answered with a nod.
The hero is watching my face. Makes me a little uncomfortable.
"Did you see that?" My murmur
"You sick?" tanyanya.
"No" answered.
I feel like my body is fine
"Your face shoots" he said again.
"What cooking?" I took my phone and saw my face on the front camera.
"No ah usual ajha, at least lack of sleep" I continued. The hero just shrugged his shoulders.
"Tomorrow can I not night?" Wira asked while looking at me.
"Where?"
"There's a wedding invitation, it's not nice to come alone".
"Feby can't nemenin?"
"His son again surveys the location of KKN outside the city"
I was still speechless, not giving an answer, until Vivian appeared from behind the half-closed door.
"For the Doctor". Go to Wira.
"Section bebz" wira seduce to Vivian.
"It's early in the morning already two-duaing ajha" Vivian said later with a wry smile.
"Yes cuzz yuk bebz". Take Vivian, I put my phone in my bag and hurried to my feet.
"We go first yes, Assalamualaikum" said I to Wira who was still awake from her seat.
"Greetings waalaikum" he answered smiling.
"Daa sir Doctor" said Vivian to Wira.
---
Ah this hospital again, why did Dian also have to give birth here, why did I blame Dian.
The memory of the past 2 months flashed back in my mind.
"Why bebz?" Vivian asked to see me daydreaming.
"Not anything saiy, eh Dian in what room?" I'm switching the conversation.
"In midwifery, Orchid 15" replied Vivian.
After asking one of the nurses finally met his room.
Dian was still lying in her bed, her smile expanding welcoming me and Vivian. The baby fell asleep in the baby box next to his bed.
"Cowok huh?, is that funny?" Vivian's question looks anxious.
"Yes Ma'am" replied Dian.
It's funny, so remember my Armand when I was a baby.
We couldn't chat for long, because Dian's family from out of town came.
"Oh yes, we say goodbye first, hopefully the mother and baby are always healthy, so the child sholeh debaynya" said my father.
"Thank you Miss Nabila, Vivian's mom took her time".
I regretted it and gave the custody of Wira as well as from me.
Me and Vivian came out after greeting all the members of Dian's family.
-----
"Saiy, ntar stopped by the fruit shop first huh?" My love to Vivian.
"What do you want to buy?"
"Yes fruit, cook rice padang"
Vivian grinned while looking at me.
"Not funny" he said.
It's not funny but it makes me laugh when I see the funny expression.
We walked along the corridor.
But always like this, being here in this hallway, heart like pinching, here I get wounds, wounds that don't bleed but the pain hasn't gone away until now, there's a sense of bitter, there's a sense of tightness.
"Bebz" Vivian broke my daydream with her bangilan.
I looked at him, he pointed somewhere with his chin.
Child NICU room, I narrowed my eyes a little. There was Rangga and Karina were also both Karina's parents.
I wanted to turn around but I heard someone call me.
Karina's mother turned out to see me, I paused my intention to turn around, I set my heart.
Vivian held my hand, as I continued my steps toward them.
"Nak Nabila"
I saw a sadness lingering on the face of the beautiful middle-aged woman.
"Assalamualaikum ma'am"
My greeting then kissed the butt of his hand.
The woman was crying.
On the other hand Rangga looked at me with a stiff and fixated feeling, his eyes were swollen.
Besides, there was Karina who still looked at me with dislike and cynicism.
"Who's sick?" I asked the middle-aged woman, even though I expected the answer.
"Kyla kid, kyla's sick" the woman shut her mouth. Holding back her crying voice.
Rangga's son was named Kyla.
I saw Vivian's sharp highlight towards Rangga and Karina, her anger was not also abated and could not be hidden.
I'm still confused, I don't know what I'm here for and why I need to be reunited.
"Patient ma'am" I rubbed the woman's arm.
Rangga and Karina appear to have gone together, as a Doctor came out of the room.
I don't know what was explained at the beginning because far I didn't hear it. Me and Vivian stepped closer behind Karina's parents.
"So it must be immediately in the blood transfusion, sorry while the hospital stock is currently empty, in the PMI for AB bloodletting is also empty" said the doctor.
"What blood type? Ask to Karina
"I'm B doc" Karina replied
"Oh, if the father of A or AB asked him to Rangga" Rangga's face was surprised.
"I'm O doc" replied Rangga
"Kok can, If Father O mother B should have blood type O or B children as well.
If blood type AB, because mother B should be father A or AB" explained the doctor. He looks tangent.
I'm still looking behind them. Rangga could not hide his shock. Vivian and I looked at each other.
"Please contact another relative, or a friend, should be transfused quickly to the baby" the doctor added.
"I'm AB Dok" I don't know what prompted me to say that. All eyes are staring at me.
"I am AB rhesus negative "my deuteronomy.
"I'm also AB Dok" said Vivian, I went to my best friend.
"healthy? Not having a period?" ask the doctor.
"Yes Doc, healthy born and bathin" I believe,
Vivian also nodded her head.
Vivian and I followed the doctor who led us into a room.
A nurse asked me to lie down on a bed, and Vivian was next to me.
"Mba Relax yes" the teary-eyed nurse smiled kindly. I also returned it with a smile.
Vivian's the same in check as me.
" Have you ever donated?" Ask me to nod, and then he checks my blood pressure and my nad. His forehead looks crispy.
"Mba is married?" Ask me, I'm yelling.
"When was mestruasi last?" he asked again, I tried to remember it, it seems like this month I have not come the moon.
"I forgot to just, lately my period is less regular" I said.
"This Donor can not be done, try mbak later check again, it looks like mba is pregnant, but more certainly mba can check to the doctor first or can be tested first" he explained.
I was silent to be happy or sad, Vivian looked at me. But as I remember after I had last contact with Rangga it seems like I had a period, although not as usual, less and faster.
I got out of bed and sat still with a difficult feeling to describe.
Vivian selesei with her donor process, she sat down for a moment. Then come down to me.
"Bebz" Vivian was speechless she hugged me, her tears were warm I felt.
The two nurses looked at me and Vivian with astonished gazes.
Vivian took me out.
Karina seemed to be waiting for me, her eyes turning red.
Suddenly he walked quickly towards me and pushed my arm. I looked at him confused. Vivian pushed back Karina.
"Surely you changed my son?, didn't you?, tell me where my son is?" Karina is like an infidel.
"Do not pretend not to know, you must be in cahoots with your friend who is the doctor" he shouted.
He'll push me back but Vivian's got me.
"So, don't talk to you, I've never traded your baby or anyone's baby. Don't just talk" I'm starting to lose my temper.
Several nurses were seen coming out of the room. Heard our commotion.
"You must be in cahoots with your doctor friend, you must have changed my baby"
Karina is getting crazy. Rangga and Karina's Old Man were seen running over.
A slap I gave him, because he's been talking wrongly about Siska.
"You hear, watch your mouth, I can put you in jail for your mouth, never speak ill of Siska, and do not turn the blame on others. You check if it's your son or not"
My anger is unbearable and I cannot control it. I pulled Vivian to walk quickly leaving them. Vivian's hands are clenched.
"Bil, If" Rangga was chasing me, I sped up my pace, but still lost fast to him.
Vivian wagged the hand of Rangga who wanted to attract me.
"What else do you want?" Vivian.
"But not satisfied you hurt Nabila" he continued.
I turned around, and faced towards Rangga.
I just looked at him, from my eyes he would know I was very angry.
"Can we talk?" rangga said later.
His face looks very messed up.
"What else?, would you say, too, that I've exchanged your babies" I sting.
"No, I'm sorry" he said later.
"For what? For our parting, I've forgiven you" I said, my chest still shaking. Vivian embraces me.
"Our relationship is over, and you chose it myself, I've asked you to choose that moment and you didn't choose me, I'm still dropping my pride asking you to come back with me but you're not coming back to me, so now please don't bother my life again "even though my eyes are hot but there are no tears anymore.
"Let me alone, please don't ever come back to my life again" I said
I covered both my hands begging him.
Vivian pulled me away from Rangga.
"Bebz, look I won't forgive you, if you go back to that guy, whatever the reason" Vivian said, looking very upset.
My chest felt tight, my head hurt so much, I saw everything dark and empty felt faint faint faint faint Vivian's voice was disappearing.
Seriate.
