THE SHADOW OF THE PAST

The BML Part 2

Bulek Lulik thrust a brown envelope at me.

"Brought Sahrul the other day, he said divorce papers from the Word" clearly bulik.

I feel used to hearing it, for me the Word is gone and this feeling is dead.

"Tingal's signature right, bulek?"

I opened the app and signed the one with my name written without reading the rest.

I reinserted the file and returned it to Lulik's circle.

Leaving Armand to go back to my studies, it felt really heavy. Even though she knows me not as her mother but still we feel a strong bond of mind. Ahead of my departure Armand suddenly got hot.

"It's okay Bill, Armand's fine. Just want a pinter" said Bulik Lulik. "Wherever you are the mother and child there must be a bond of feeling, it could be because you want to go". Continue bulik later.

With a heavy and anxious feeling I say goodbye to my little man. He was sleeping with a compress on his forehead.

----

"Bil, your order that entered yesterday has been sent the same Wawan. Then ask for his recipe to him. Mba there is an event in Bandung 3 daily, mba titip you handle the store yes". Said mba Vienna " uh this manga brought the same Astri harvest at home" he continued while putting a plate containing mango that has been peeled.

"Yes mba Win, ready. Oh yes, I will transfer if I have WD yes" I replied

"The sweet stuff of mango" I continued after having a mango slices in front of me. The sweet girl smiled without making a sound.

Yes mba Vienna is a bulik Lulik college friend. He's got a clothing store. I used to help you clean up and sometimes keep the shop.

But I have been selling online for the past year and the results are enough for my living expenses. Even more.

Bulik Lulik also still continues to send me monthly money. I told you I had my own money and it was more than enough. But he still transfers my monthly.

I don't know what my big heart is made of. He was like an angel to me, and his best friend Winapun was just as good. He always introduces me as his sister.

Lecture begins a new place of new friends and a new atmosphere. This is one way to change my life, my spirit is so burning.

The first half I adapted quite quickly, already having a new best friend. Although I rarely had the advantage of going out with them but I was quite able to keep up with their chatter.

"Yes, once come with us why" Vivian protested when I subtly refused their invitation to go to the movies.

I feel bad for now, because I've always had plenty of reasons not to go before.

I finally agreed. The boisterous voice of my friend invited the eyes of other students.

"It's .. ayokk already" I pulled Anisa's hand towards the parking lot.

"Mi use your car ajha well, mine don't fit" Vivian embraced the big-bodied girl we always pangil Mami. Her real name is Naomi.

"Lu who drove yes, once wanted to be a passenger". Pinta mami, Vivian nodded in agreement.

Anis, Naomi, Vivian, Iche, Alin that's my best friend right now.

Among us Vivian and Alin are the most prominent, clean white skin, beautiful face kinclong. Vivian high slim. Alin is petite.

"Vi, I took a taxi from here, yes, I didn't take the bike" I said as we finished watching.

"I am anterin all ajha Bil, it is in the same direction." Vivian was greeted by other people.

"Well, add me" I said.

God gave me so many favors, the good people around me. I have entered my 2nd year of college.

And I've always been the best.

How is my dear life. I close my heart tightly. I try not to get too close to men.

My only activity was college, taking care of my online store that was getting bigger until I had my own admin. And occasionally go out with my friends.

Not that I went to Ge eR an but from the first semester already some guys who approached me but all I never cried.

I'm still traumatized and I don't want to think about it.

"Mba Nabila, the Winner's mother came out?" Asri entered my room."there's a guest, I just came I'm looking for a mother who doesn't exist" he continued.

"Yes As, again to Aunt Marta's house between orders" I replied."who?" asking the Vienna guest, Asri shrugged his shoulders.

I moved to the guest room. A man sitting on the living room sofa he was bowed engrossed with his cell phone.

"Sorry mas, mba Vienna is still out between goods" heard my voice the man shifted his gaze from the mobile screen. Then stand up and put my phone in.

"Oh.. is out, em .. Can I wait?" Ask later.

"May you please" I replied. The man extended his hand.

And let him sit back.

Starting from a stale chatter to break the atmosphere of cangung.

Chat becomes comfortable because Rangga person is good at chatting.

Almost an hour was not felt, until I heard the sound of a Viennese car. A moment later he was standing at the door.

"Assalamualaikum.. "voice mba Vienna is loud, "oh there are guests, sorry sorry" he said when he saw Rangga. We also met in unison to return the greetings mba Vienna.

Mba Vienna smiled and walked in.

"This guest mba Vienna" pangilku, step mba Vienna restrained. He looked at me. His right hand pointed at his chest. As a gesture of clarifying my words.

"Mba Win forgot? This is Rangga mba his sister mba Annisa" the man walked toward the Vienna mba. And regretted.

"Yes Pardon Rangga... Oh Allah, you are already single now" mba Vienna a little look shocked but then pat the figure in front of him.

Rangga just laughed crisply.

I also want to continue my work. Sometimes there was laughter from my room.

"Ssttt.." mba Vienna is standing in front of my desk. I looked up at him.

"There are greetings from Rangga" he said later.

"Waalaikumsalam" I answered accordingly.

"You didn't? he was from earlier nanyain you mulu" mba Vienna pulled a chair and sat in front of me.

I heard it but I tried to focus on the laptop in front of me.

"Cie cie cie". The Vienna mba.

"What the heck. "my cheek, but somehow my cheek feels warm. Though I have not felt any feelings to Rangga.

"So he asked for your contact but did not give love, the permission was the same that had" he explained later.

This afternoon chat with the Viennese mba just passed by. Until I get a message tonight.

"Assalamualaikum Nabila, this is Rangga" read the script on the screen.

Doubtful I reply, I finally just write greetings and say yes.

My phone rang again, Rangga asked permission to call me. But I haven't been able to answer that there is already a call in.

The crisp sound was across. It didn't feel like 10 o'clock. It's been almost 2 hours we've been driving.

He ended the conversation with a good night, don't forget to pray and have a good dream. I also feel ordinary.

Day by day we communicate more and more. Talking to him never ran out of material. Apart from that all Rangga is an interesting figure.

Very pleasing to the eye.

His stature was not very high, but white, his face was like an early semester college kid. Though he was above me.

It would be hypocritical if I said there was no sense in him. But I have my own fear of the shadow of my past. Which forces me to keep this feeling deep inside.

"Nduk no longer need to send money to Armand, not anything. But you better save it for your sister's school. God willing Armand doesn't lack anything" bulik refused subtly for the money I gave.

He was right that both of my sisters were still in dire need of a lot of expense. Maybe it's time I took responsibility for them to help my parents.

Bulik changed the call to video call, my little man was beside him. She smiled sweetly and thanked me for the toy I sent.

"Sir Nabil, thank you for the toys Armand likes. When's Nabil coming here?" That face can always make me smile, even though I will finally cry bitterly after the vicall ends.

Armand loves to talk about school. Well now he's kind of a TK. I have talked and asked a lot.

Time goes by quickly. Relationships without status are what I've been working on with Rangga. It's been three years but there's no commitment between us. It all just flows.

\=\=\= ---- \=\=\=

"The world is narrow, yes, and time passes by so quickly. Everything has changed a lot" said Ayu his face looks more serious.

"Bil, I'm sorry. I wasn't there when you fell" Ayu grabbed my hand.

"I myself did not know when my mother moved me to Surabaya.

I don't even know if you and Firman are married" Ayu pursed her lips. His eyes reddened, ah everything came back to dance in my mind. Little by little all the memories I had buried inside appeared in my head.

Seriate....