THE SHADOW OF THE PAST
BML Part 23 - 24
#Infant_Masa_Then
#BMLSeries
LinDa Vin's
#BML_Part_23
Rangga did not return to Cempaka, he was looking after Karina for a few days. And just saying sorry can't see me yet. Operation Karina is scheduled.
When will this drama end. I seem to be getting tired. I'm not sure if Karina will keep her promise. What if she doesn't give up the baby? No problem for me. But Rangga, what would be separated with his son.
Just think my head hurts.
----
"Bebz, what time is it at Sandra's reception?". Vivian approached me who was already in the back parking lot of the Clinic.
"Oh yeah, the show's at 7, right? The environment is the most" I replied while putting my laptop in the car.
"Same Proud?" Ask later.
I shrugged my shoulders, I haven't asked her yet.
"Alone the most saiy, he's a lot of work" work takes care of Karina.
"Yes, let's tell ya, let's be there together, I'm the same Lody later" explained Vivian.
"Siyapp" I said in a respectful manner, Vivian sneered at my cheeks that had started to fleshy again.
"Sick saiy" I shouted, Vivian just laughed.
Our car went for a while. At 5pm, I decided to go straight home.
I called Sintia to tell her I'm not going back to the store.
Half 6 I got home, and went straight to my room.
My body feels fresh after the shower.
I pick my clothes while waiting for the adzan magrib.
I dropped the choice on the kebaya combination of dusty pink brocade, with subordinate batik cloth. Beauitiful...
I started berias after the magrib prayer.
I looked at my own face, like everyone else.
I'm not too brave to play color, find safe soft only ala korea he said.
Then look for suitable bags and also footwear.
It's almost 7 I'm coming down, right away,
Nini looked at me in amazement.
"Well, Nini thought the artist from where it was, really beautiful" he praised me.
"Thank you Nini" I smiled sweetly.
"Mba go kondangan first" said my
Vivian called me, asking if I had left. The building is not far away
from my house, about 15 minutes I've reached the Sandra reception.
I saw that Vivian and Lody had arrived, and were waiting for me in front of the receptionist.
Very beautiful my best friend, she came in a bright red dress knee-length.
"Haiy bebz, that's so pretty"
"Thank you saiyang" I replied.
"I've ordered not to use hill high". My protest was slow, as I looked petite nearby, Vivian laughed.
"Eh that's the Hero" pointed Lody at the new Wira.
He came with a beautiful girl in a hood.
"Well, something's coming soon". Temptation Vivian saw the Wira coming to bring a couple. The hero only smiled and the girl looked embarrassed.
"This is Feby"
Hero introduced his pairs.
"When" welcome me to the soft-faced girl.
We also entered the building. There were many other friends coming.
We were greeted by the Sandra family, and walked to the wedding later to congratulate the newlyweds and take a picture.
"You're beautiful too, if you're dancing gini" whispered Wira behind me as we were queuing photos with the bride.
"Hemms are usually ugly" I said slowly as well.
"Yes, manyun mulu end of this end"
"Ihhh. " my snort, Wira just laughed.
After the full moon arrives too, the photo turn with the bride. The photographer arranged our position. After a few professional camera shots and dozens of camera phone shots completed as well as photos.
We went downstairs but it turned out that the photo show was not finished.
Wira brandished her cell phone camera in front of me for a selfie, I put some experiments from pretty to silly.
Feby also took me photos together, I flanked by this matching couple. They look very similar. If the soul mate says it looks like his face.
Wira took pictures of me and Feby, me and Lody and also with Vivian.
And some other employees met there.
After that we separated.
Seeing them come in pairs my heart suddenly bitter. Mending Vivian still ngandeng Lody is me. hmmm
"That's a hell of a bitch?"
"Who?"
"You"
"Me?"
"Yes you, there is someone else I'm talking to here" he said, starting to get upset.
"I'm no longer dumb, so I don't feel it" I said
"What was that?"
"That's nglamun bambang" I said flatly.
"Same to ajha siti .." Like a woman wants to pinch my nose.
"Eitss" my hand brushed her hand my eyes bulged.
"Where was Feby" I asked later.
The hero pointed towards Feby who was taking food.
"Aren't you eating?" Ask me.
"Ntar ajha, uh where was Vivian?"
We had to talk close together because of the noisy atmosphere.
Wira pointed to the right, Vivian was with the Atika doctor.
I walked up to them, Doctor Atika introduced me to her husband and son.
"Bebz, I rarely see Rangga" asked Vivian when we lived together.
"Kangen yes, nanyain mulu" Vivian laughed
"Saiyy spray" I continued
"You're okay, ajha, right?" Vivian put on a suspicious face, "No more trouble, right?"
"No we're fine ajha"
"But..." Vivian did not continue her sentence when Lody came with Wira and Feby.
Huff fortunately ajha. I grinned myself. relieved.
"Why are you, grinning that "asked Lody who turned out to see me.
"Who am I? Sporting face" I replied origin
"Step?" ask me to divert the conversation.
"He was full" said Wira.
"The basic houseboy, Junior High" I quipped
"Apaan SMP" asked Vivian to look at me
"After eating Home" I explained, they also
laugh, but for me it was crisp.
"Eh wait for a photo first" exclaimed Wira
"Can was already .." I protested.
"Rare to see Nabila gini, must be ignored. Vivian is beautiful every day"
"Thank You Doctor Wira" said Vivian Darisin.
"That's it... Flirty" I said while grinning.
Vivian laughed again. Seen Feby smiling at our silliness.
We went out and walked to the parking lot.
"Bebz be careful" Vivian kissed my left right cheek, then headed for the car with her cousin.
Wira and Feby are still beside me. I say goodbye to them, I put my right and left cheeks on the girl.
"I am first" I said.
"Be careful Bill" Wira smiled.
I walk towards my car. I saw the clock was still half 9.
I turned my car around aimlessly, suddenly my stomach was hungry. I was so excited to talk until I couldn't get a meal.
I looked to the left right, I remember when Firman brought me here. Yeah, there's a park up ahead, I'm turning my car into the parking lot. There is a meatball on the right side of the back of the park.
The condition of the park is quite crowded maybe because of the weekend, but I want to eat with clothes like this.
Haiyahh must be the center of attention, especially if I am alone.
I looked into the back seat, I've dropped my sweater to wash yesterday.
I just started my car when my glass door was knocked.
I took the 5,000 bills I always put in the drawer, I took my car glass down and gave it to me.
I was shocked when my ladder was pulled from the outside, my reflexes were pulled.
Between fear and anger I felt.
"When..."
But why does he call my name, like the voice of the Word.
I ventured to my right side, he lowered his face cover.
Hhh ..
I lowered my car glass wider.
"Mas makes when afraid of ajha" said I was upset, I put on my manyun face. Firman laughed to see me
"What are you doing here?" ask her later.
The pliers were placed on the window glass.
I'm still upset, I was really scared earlier.
I'm not answering any questions about Firman.
"It's so pretty, where?" Further again.
I chose to open the door of my car.
Firman stepped back as I got out of the car. I closed my car door and leaned back there.
"When hungry" I said as my stomach worms began to churn.
Firman looked at me without blinking.
"Look at it that way"
"You're so beautiful today" she later praised.
"Mas already the 1000th said that, pennilence When it's over"
"Truly" he said again
"Mas If laper" I said again
"You were here to eat meatballs?" Ask, I'm snuggling.
"Keep why you were leaving, not so"
"Cooking wear ginian clothes, which is on the lookout if all, especially if alone" said I.
Mas Firman took off his jacket and gave it to me. I'll wear it soon.
I immediately turned off the engine of my car that I was still igniting.
We went into the park.
"Why is this here?"
"Yes seek the wind of ajha" he answered
"The wind is sought" my boy
"You want to know you" replied Firman.
"Ihh gombal" mas Firman chuckled
"Where are you from?" Further
"From the marriage of the office minister" I replied.
"Only alone?"
"seen it?
"alone"
"That's still it" I said manyun.
Firman laughed again.
Quite a lot of stalls, we sat a bit away from the group.
"Sir Bon, 2 yes "cried Firman to Mr. Bon, the man with the fat body gave his thumbs up. No wait long 2 magkok meatballs presented at the table.
So remember the first time I invited Firman here.
Hmmm the smell is tarnishing, sambal a lot of saos and soy sauce, steady. I really want to go, but I'm ashamed.
"Still laper?" Ask the Word as if it can read my mind.
"What a squirm?" Ask me with your face together.
Mas Firman moved his magkok stuffing to my bowl.
"I'm not very laper" he said.
I smiled and devoured quickly, some of this time my appetite was a bit less restrained.
A glass of warm tea closes my dinner
.
"How many days did you eat ?"
"A week "I answered.
Firman was astonished to see my meal.
"Dah malem mas,.go home yuk" asked me after being full.
As we moved, I waited for him near the garden fence while he was still paying. Don't forget my handkerchief to Mr. Bon with a smile and a nod of the head.
After paying, Firman walked towards me. Then we walked side by side along the road in the park.
"Thank you and Temenin when" I said breaking the silence. Firman just smiled.
"Mas come here often?"
"Sometimes only"
"Have you ever brought Ajeng here?" ask me to know.
"Where do you want to eat on the road?"
"Have you ever had a nawarin?"
"When do you go home, then?" Pamitku when we got back to the parking lot.
"Be careful" Mas Firman rubbed my head gently.
"Mas too" I replied.
I slowly drove my car leaving the Firman mas who stood staring at me.
Almost 11 o'clock I just arrived home, I just realized the jacket mas Firman carried again by me. Kasian must be cold.
I just wash my face, take ablution and pray directly. My forehead belly makes me so clenched. I threw down my body and pulled out my blanket..
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#BML_Part_24
I just woke up to pray the dawn and went back to lazing.
I picked up a phone I hadn't seen from yesterday afternoon.
"Hallo Assalamualaikum" my regards to Rangga.
"Where's ajha? Didn't you open the phone?"
"Yes, I rarely check my phone, what's the matter, baby?"
"You're not coming back here?"
"Karina doesn't want to see me"
"I want to see you"
"Yes you're here ajha"
"Karina can't be left out, yesterday's bleeding again"
"Terusss??" I'm starting to get upset. Rangga was silent.
"Udahh ah males early in the morning has made a bad mood ajha. If you want to meet here, if not already do not bother" my nagging directly I hung up my phone.
Ih sebel, hit with a winnow what the hell Rangga can submit to the same Karina.
Oh my God I am really tired, if indeed Rangga my soul mate may we be given the strength to get through this all..
If no???
I don't want to wish for something I don't want. I'm not as loud as people see.
5 Years with him, starting from my college Rangga was always there for me, almost every time he met, whether it was afternoon when he took a break or afternoon after coming home from work. He has always supported me, he has always been my back. The one who accompanied me from me was no one. Rangga is me, I am Rangga.
And now, he's transformed like a different person, he's not the one who fought the world for me, nor the one who can take care of my heart.
-----
" Dear, I'm in the hospital, Operation Karina is advanced" A message from Rangga was sent.
I still look at the messages on my phone.
Finally ...
Rushing I put my phone in the bag, the file I couldn't tidy up.
"Where are you going?" sintia asked to see me out of the room.
"No need, uh I don't think back to the office, please tidy up the file brother on the table yes" I said.
Sintia just nodded, I rushed down and drove to the hospital.
I approached Rangga and Karina's parents, who were standing in front of the operating room.
Their faces looked worried.
"Karina's bleeding earlier, said Doctor Siska should be immediately in Surgery" explained Rangga without asking.
I hugged Karina's mother, she looked very anxious about Karina's condition.
My phone shook, I moved away from them. Vivian called me, told me there was a meeting tomorrow morning.
I went back to the front of the operating room, Rangga grabbed my hand.
My heart feels uncomfortable.
Siska came out of the Operating Room, she momentarily looked at me.
"The condition of the mother is still weak because of bleeding quite a lot, for the baby thankfully please in the first adzani"
Rangga rushed in, Karina's parents approached the door of the operating room. I'm still fixated, I don't know what I feel I can't describe.
Siska took note of me, then hugged me.
"I don't know what's going on, but I wouldn't be able to be you" Siska said.
"You know Bil, I didn't think you could be this strong" he said again.
"I'm ready to listen to you, if you need me"
Siska wiped her tears. And passed away me who was still fixated.
Not long after Rangga came out, I saw his eyes reddened. Looks like she's crying. But I can't decipher the tears.
Karina was seen being taken out, apparently being moved to the treatment room.
Both her parents followed and Rangga too without seeing me. Did he forget I was still here.
Then why am I here, I'm still glued.
I decided to leave, Karina's condition was also not possible to settle the deal we had made.
Drive my car towards the house. There's no way I'm going back to the office, I can't think of anything.
"Well, is Nabila sick?" tanya Nini saw me coming home in the afternoon.
I just nodded and went straight into my room.
I don't know why this fear is getting stronger. I felt very uncomfortable, like something was going to happen that I didn't expect.
Until the night Rangga didn't call me. Until I fall asleep in my hope.
When I woke up in the middle of the night, I looked back at my phone, nothing. So soon she forgot me.
Ah maybe the phone ran out of battery. I try to think positively.
The morning I woke up, the sound of birds indicating it was time to pray the dawn. I immediately got up and took ablution. Rangga hasn't contacted me yet.
"Mba Nabila breakfast first" called Nini when I saw me coming down. I'm getting ready for the morning.
My appetite was gone but Nini had prepared for me.
"You go into the lunch box ajha Nin, ntar mbak eat in the office" said I.
I sat down The living room sofa waiting for Nini to prepare my provisions.
On this sofa, usually me and Rangga chatting, here we usually share stories. Hmm early in the morning was carried away.
"Mba, Nini put the car in?" I nodded, Nini moved forward. Steps followed him.
"Nin, let's go first, Assalamualaikum" I said.
Nini answered my greetings and waved her hand.
I had a meeting at the clinic this morning, but it's too early. Along the way my mind flew everywhere.
I put my car parked in the backyard. Hurry to my room.
I checked my phone again. But Rangga didn't call me, I checked WA he was active a few minutes ago. Why don't you call me.
I threw away my ego, I contacted him but in the riject. I repeat the same several times.
Wh why?
"Tax need to contact aq again" a message sent to my counsellor from Rangga. This is not Rangga's writing. Means Karina is holding Rangga's phone.
Where's Rangga?
The sound of knocking on the door blew my daydream.
The hero appeared from behind the door before I said anything.
"Coffee?!" Bargain for me. He brought 2 cups of coffee in his hand.
"Why are you getting tangled up in the morning" asked Wira, I just nodded.
Canda Wira that morning still did not change my mood.
"Bil, what's wrong with you?" tanya Wira looks serious. I just looked at him, and back to the side.
"I'm ready to be horrified, if you need a storymate". Say the hero again.
I really can't condition my heart right now. I can't hide my misfortune.
"I'm sorry" I said to Wira. A nagging soul trying to understand me, I read there was anxiety in those eyes.
"Hour 8, meeting room now?" ask the hero later.
I nodded straight to stand up. We walked side by side without any conversation.
I wasn't focused at all, my mind was going nowhere. What Lody said was absolutely nothing going into my brain, not even until the meeting finishedi.
"Bebz, are you sick?" Vivian held my forehead. "Why you" he asked again.
I'm dodging.
"Saiy. I'm ahead of you" I said immediately.Vivian followed me.
"Bebz wait, what's wrong with you?"
I was confused as to what reason.
"Ntar I told you" I said, I passed away Vivian who was still confused by my attitude.
----
I decided to go straight to the hospital, walk slowly to Karina's room, I stood in the room where the door was slightly open, but enough to see what was going on inside.
Rangga was holding the baby, his face looked very happy.
The voice of Karina's mother
"His birthmark is the same as Karin sir" she seems to be talking to her husband.
I walk backwards, I don't seem to be bothered to see this scene. But not everything must be immediately solved. I put my feet back in front.
Knock that door with the remaining power.
"Son" Karina's mother's voice greeted me.
I went in, though not questioned.
"How are you doing Karina?" ask me and then approach him.
Karina turned her face away not wanting to see me.
I approached Rangga and the baby, I saw the baby's face, Beautiful.
Rangga looked at me with an unusual look. I looked back at him. I want to remind you of my deal with Karina.
I'm not comfortable actually having to talk in front of Karina's parents, but I really don't want to linger.
I stepped closer to Karina again,
she looks at me cynically.
"Today, remember the deal we made, right?" Remember me to him. Karina's parents looked at each other.
Karin was still silent and kept looking at me.
"I hope you don't forget, or need me to remind you?" ask again.
Everyone is silent.
"Well, I remind you, you promised me, if until you give birth, Rangga has no feelings for you, you want to leave our lives, and give the baby to Rangga and me"
Karina's parents looked shocked.
I walked closer to Rangga
"Darling.. ?"
Rangga was silent,
"Are you starting to love Karina, or the tone of the feeling of like or something?" my talk to Rangga, maybe he thinks not so soon I'm discussing this.
Rangga nodded, "Sorry Karina I never loved you" he said later.
Karina's parents look confused.
"When, what kind of woman are you, you want to separate a child from its mother" cried Karina.
"Today, you agreed to it yourself, right?!" Rangga.
"No. I won't give up my son, listen, if you prefer Nabila, don't expect you to see your son again"
"Let my son live without knowing his father, let him know his father has abandoned him".
Shouted Karina again, the threat of karina managed to make Rangga depressed.
"Now mas choose the baby or Nabila" Karina instead presses.
"Today, our deal wasn't like this" my chest jostled.
"Fuck Nabila, don't expect me to give up my baby"
Rangga looks fucked. Everything must be beyond her expectations.
"Alright, it's your decision, honey we're leaving" I told Rangga.
Rangga was glued, staring at the baby he was carrying. Her eyes are red.
"Get out of this room do not expect mas to see our baby again" Karina threatened again.
Rangga sculpted, maybe never terbesit in the slightest thought he would be in a situation like this.
"Darling I'm sorry, I can't go" Rangga's voice trembled, I approached and looked at him, reassuring my hearing.
Rangga.
"Darling, are you sure of what you're saying?" Press me.
Rangga nodded slowly.
I bit my lips hard to dampen the magnitude of the turmoil in my heart.
"Well, I accept what you've decided" I said "oh yeah, whatever happens don't ever see me back, never!" my firmness.
I went out, it all felt bad. These tears have come out. When I know you can deal with this, I tell myself.
My anger has subsided, although the pain is getting more overwhelming.
The time that has passed so long is meaningless.
Who would have thought fate would lead me into this strange relationship.
I'm taking my car, to the boutique. I will not dissolve my heart in this disappointment.
"Sister." said Sintia and stood up, as I approached her desk.
She looked at me with a face full of questions, but she couldn't tell me.
"Sir is fine" I said to her, forcing a smile on her.
Then I entered my room.
I took my seat and sat down as usual. I couldn't think, I just looked at the file on my desk, without touching it.
Backsound by Naff Terimpap Laraku
(My soul awaits
Considering all that's been passed
When you were on the side
Keep me in the warmth of your love
Slowly the time changes
Put my barrel here
Try to forget your shadow
Who always forces you to miss you
I tried for a long time
Putting myself aside my heart dimmed
Tired of holding back the pain I felt
Even though I know I still want you
Look at me here
Against the bitterness of my own destiny
Without you
I am weak and insignificant)
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