THE SHADOW OF THE PAST
The BML Part 22
"Sintia, you handle the office first huh. Brother there is a need outside the city about a week, if it is not important not to try to contact brother"
That's my message to Sintia.
I told Vivian the same thing.
I packed up my stuff this morning, just one medium bag and one backpack.
"Where are you going? nini asked me to see me travel.
"There's business, if anyone asks anyone it answers don't know" I said to Nini.
"What's the MBA up?"
"The train, uh yes, ojek mba has arrived"
I ran out, my ojek was waiting.
"The station sir" I asked.
The train at half-time at 8am took me home. For some reason this heart misses so much, misses my Armand, misses my son.
"Dear mom came" if mom could say that while hugging you..
It's so beautiful life toying with me. All I can see is without me being able to hold it....
----
"When, why not bother if you want to go home, you why are your eyes as big as this, you have a problem?".A series of questions like a bullet that keeps firing.
"Not bullish, though,.Nabila misses the same family here" I replied
Finally arrived at home bulik, Armand still not home tutoring. I forgot how long I hadn't been home. Because the family here comes to my house more often.
"Bulik, Nabila can sleep in Armand's room?" my door. Bulik just snuggles.
He helped me get my bag to Armand's room
'If you're ready, tell me all the kidnappers, bulik knows since your wedding day you keep the problem, if you're ready"
Bulik left me in Armand's room.
I took my eyes off around, there was a family photo of bulik,om and Armand in large print attached to the diting.
Spelled there was a photo of Armand himself and another photo of the three of us, me, Armand and Rangga.
So much love Armand to me and Rangga.
I came here, so as not to think about Rangga. But it turns out. more sick when he knew Armand loved Rangga.
I went out of the room looking for a bulik in the kitchen who was preparing food.
"Belik, Armand home at what time? When do you pick up? " A quick look at the clock on the wall.
"Half a few more hours, tutoring on 11 Karimata road, want to use a motorbike what car?"
"Pake motor ajha bulik, When leaving now ajha yes, forget to remember the path hehehe"
Bulik gave me the key and STNK. Long time no riding the motor somewhat stiff.
Alhamdulilah until also in the place of tutoring Armand, still 10 minutes later just out. Not far from where I stopped, many mothers in groups, I also approached and greeted them kindly.
"Not out yet? " let me open the conversation.
"In the meantime, who's njeh?
ask one of the mothers.
"I picked up Armand" I replied with a smile.
"Oh handsome boy to, why njeh?"
"I'm Armand's cousin's brother" I explained
"Armand is handsome, polite, sholeh, diligent" praised one of the mothers
"Still small has become a mother-mak idol, big so the idol girl hahaaha" another mother chimed in, all chuckled, popular rowuh also turned out to be my son.
It sounded boisterous from the tutoring room, it seemed like the children had already left the classroom.
Some have been seen spilling out. My head occasionally looked up, Armand hasn't come out yet either.
"Sir Nabila" Armand shouted he was shocked to see me, but quickly he ran towards me.
"Kid Nabila how is he here?" he then asked, his breathing slightly panted.
I hugged him later. It feels so kangen.
"Kak Nabila had his work off, so replace his holiday brother here" I explained.
My little man seemed happy to hear me.
"Work up" I held Armand's hand.
I lighted my motor, Armand got up behind me, his hands curled around my stomach.
"Udah?"
'Udah brother" heard Armand's reply I ran my bike.
The story about that day led to our short trip home. Her tang that coiled my stomach once in a while I kissed.
"Well, my mother's son has come home" Bulik came out after the Armand greeting table, my little man immediately kissed the hand of the mother.
"Change clothes first son" Bulik told Armand to change clothes, Armand ran into the room.
"You took a bath there first" he asked me. I followed him into the house as well.
"Eh bulik, later if anyone calls to bulik, nanyain Nabila said he did not know yes" my message to him.
Bulik stopped his steps
"Ladders too?"
Especially her bathinku. I nodded.
I accidentally turned off my phone, I just wanted to enjoy my day, without being disturbed by anyone.
One whole week, I was here, taking Armand to school and tutoring, making food for him, taking him for a walk, accompanying him to study, and holding him while he slept.
Gathering with Mbah, my mother and all my family on the sidelines while waiting for Armand to return to school.
Time feels so fast. Like just yesterday I came home, indeed 1 week can not replace the 9 years I lost with Armand but at least I have felt.
"Rangga is confused nyari you, Bulik so do not have the heart, it's your mother is also confused to answer" said bulik when I packed my stuff, because my vacation was over.
"But bulik has not said if Nabila here" I asked
"Yes not yet, bulik so pretend to panic"
Sitting on Armand's bed.
"What's the matter?, you don't want to go to bulik yet?"
"I'm sorry Nabila bulik" I said, I really haven't said.
----
Everyone came to take me to the station, there were tears that accompanied, it was different, I knew they were worried about my situation, even though I said fine, they could not hide their concern for me.
Armand as if to let go of me, he always hugged me until my carriage came.
----
I open my phone in the train, my phone to ngadat aka hang. I restarted it, I opened it slowly. I read it a quick glance and then I'm off.
I organize my heart and feelings, tomorrow I have to face again the thorny problems in my life. Avoiding it does not change anything, but my togetherness in this week gives me the spirit to face the bitterness of my day later for a light that will surely come.
------
The train arrived at my destination station around 9pm, I immediately took a taxi back to Cempaka.
"Mba where have you been? Mbak can not be connected all confused" recited Nini saw me coming.
He took the bag I was carrying, Wawan and his wife also followed me, Asri followed from behind.
They look tense seeing me. I looked at them in turn.
"Why?" ask them.
"I don't know why" I told them.
"Nin, what are you cooking, you're hungry" I said and sat down on the living room couch.
I lay my body on the couch. My body was quite sore, Nini came with a plate of vegetable rice and side dishes. I woke up soon, I was unable to eat on the plate.
"Bak wants to sleep first" I said, then went up the stairs. I opened the door to my room, Asri already put my stuff into the room.
Actually I want to go to sleep immediately, but my body feels sticky, I also take a shower before really resting my body.
I woke up at noon, because it was coming by the moon and was still tired of yesterday's trip.
My lousy bathroom. But I left my job a week ago. Warm water is enough to remove the sleepiness.
I was shocked when I came out of the bathroom, Rangga was already standing looking at me. I can't describe the look on his face right now.
"Where's ajha from ?" I thought he would scold me in a high tone.
Rangga hugged me who was still standing glued.
"You make everybody worry, you know what?" Rangga held both of my arms.
"I asked everyone, nobody knows where you are" he said, looking anxious.
"I'm sorry, I was wrong, I shouldn't have spoken so loudly like that, I'm sorry" Ranga said.
"Dear, I'm sorry too , I'm worried, what's important is that I'm here". I said, "I'm ready, get changed" I took my shirt from the closet.
I brought my clothes to the bathroom, somehow it becomes uncomfortable to undress in front of Rangga.
I complete my look with natural makeup in soft colors.
Rangga only watched me without daring to touch me as usual.
I took her downstairs, and offered her breakfast.
"I'm first, baby" she said, I nodded and kissed her hand. Rangga kissed my forehead, and I think it was hollow.
I walk to the dining table, Nini has prepared breakfast at the table.
"Nin, mbak ga sepet breakfast, you enter the box with ajha yes let mba eat at the office, mba wait in front" said I left Nini, I heated my car for a while.
Nini came with the bag I asked for and put it in the car in the back seat.
"Mba leave first, Assalamualaikum" I said.
Nini waved her hand after answering my greetings.
I slowly pushed out the fence and accelerated afterwards.
-------
"Sint" I said "Assalamualaikum" Sintia jumped out of her chair and hugged me.
"Sister.where is ajha"
"Sister asked for vacation permission"
"But sister's phone can not be contacted, brother Rangga confused nyariin brother, sister Vivian back and forth call me, until sir Andre asked me too, I myself can not contact brother" between annoyance, anxiety, relief so one on Sintia's face.
"So, I'm sorry to be anxious" I said as I opened my door.
Sintia's stalking me in the back.
"Kak Nabila did not tell Kak Rangga if he wanted to go" asked Sintia again.
I just nodded, pulled my chair and sat down. Sintia sat in front of me.
"Sir Nabila is fine, isn't he?" sintia's gaze was full of searching.
"Yes .. big brother is fine" I bet "oh yeah who stock our materials from bandung how?"
I began to shift the conversation to work.
"So sis for that one is sorted out, if the client sister, Sintia rescheduled tomorrow yes meeting, Byan has prepared some designs that you can offer" Sintia moved on, saying continue her work.
"Oh yes brother, the money report has not been checked the file is on the desk" he said when he arrived at the door
"Yes Sint" I replied.
Checking the stacked reports made me hungry. I opened the provisions brought by Nini earlier, 1 box containing rice with the other one containing toast.
I closed the rice back and put it in the bottom drawer for lunch.
Sintia knocked on the door she appeared with the cup off.
"Let's not sleepy, there's a lot to check about" he said while putting coffee on my desk.
"Hmm tau ajha anyway, thank you yes, uh I can bring a lot of bread" I bargained
Sintia took some "thank you sister" he said and returned to his desk.
I also returned to my work.
The work of a stack is time-consuming, consciously already at 5, when Sintia asked for a break. She can't overtime like me, because she has to take care of her sick mother.
There is still energy in Nabila?, I ask myself.
There was only my brain that was starting to heat up filled with numbers and counts.
Looks like before the smoke comes out of my head, I'll just relax. Tidy up my desk and my files.
I opened my phone, which I hadn't touched all day. I'm not too worried because all clients and office affairs are handled through Sintia. I don't know what I am without him.
Not all of them I read.
My finger stopped in a message from Karina, I want to read it at a glance but curious too, he sent some photos, WA indeed I set the manual download.
I thrust my finger to read the chat higher up and download the picture it sent.
I shouldn't have seen it because I wasn't ready.
Not a special picture, but if you see Rangga who initially refused the presence of Karina, and now he fell asleep while sitting next to Karina's bed and let the woman freely wipe her hair.
It'll be a pretty pinched image of my race.
If the sentence still thinks I accidentally made it fall, fondle me and ask me to leave Rangga.
I turned to Chat Vivian, always smiling at the expression of my best friend's annoyance.
There was a chat from Lody and Wira as well..
"Hallo Iangkuhh" I said as Vivian picked up my phone.
As I thought he would have nagged first.
"Yes yes saiyy, sorry yahh" I begged.
"Still in the boutique? tanyanya.
"Yes, this is coming home"
"I'll pick you up, Lody's birthday is going to eat out"
"Oh yes, okay" I replied.
I immediately put in my phone and my stuff. I turn off the lights and walk down the stairs.
Mr. Yon greeted me as usual, I rushed out towards my car.
I just closed the door after entering my lunch box, the motorcycle mas Firman parked behind me.
He took off his helmet against her.
Mas Firman was still sitting in his motor when I approached him.
I cupped my hands together, as an apology for not replying to all the messages. And she must be very worried about me.
"Where is Bil" he asked later, there was anxiety and upset in his voice.
"If you want your own vacation" my reason.
"But you don't have to turn off your phone" he said annoyed. "I asked Sintia she didn't know and couldn't reach you" he continued.
"I'm sorry" I said as a child.
Word got off his bike. His hands hold both of my arms.
"Thank you for the same attention" I said.
Mas Firman rubbed my hair slowly.
I saw Lody's car approaching.
"I'm sorry, if you go first, it's been picked up it's the same my friend"
"Who?" The eyes of the Word squinted.
"Vivian" answered.
Hearing the name of the woman I mentioned mas Firman looks relieved.
I walked towards Lody's car, Vivian opened the glass asking me to go up.
"Which other one?" ask me after entering, because Vivian is alone.
"Just like Doctor Wira earlier, eh that's who bebz is not Rangga right?" Vivian pointed with her eyes at Firman who had not yet moved from the side of my car.
"Andre" I replied briefly.
"Andre has a place we rent, right?" tanyanya then . I'm nagging.
"Well?"
"Ihh kepo very saiyy"
Vivian laughs.
"I saw her when the day she took her mother to the clinic, it was her mother's friend Aunt Mila"
Vivian's Story.
"Tante Mila Lody's mom?" Vivian cuddling.
"It seems not limited to rental relationships" said Vivian suddenly.
"Whether is he trying to get you gini nights?" Vivian began to suspect.
"He's my older brother saiyy, I must have known him" I said.
"Yes but say ..auhh" Vivian did not continue her words. I pinched his thighs.
"Sick bebz"
"Biarin, I told you not to be still.." I snorted.
----
"Congratulations, may the long life healthy and successful always, nepet rose pelaminan" said I to Lody. This narrow-eyed man laughed.
I've been through everything there, one team at the Clinic.
Laughter intersperses our exciting chatter, it turns out that in the office jaim-jaim if it fits outside like this they leak too.
But exciting.
Every now and then my gaze collided with Wira, but she looked annoyed at me.
It was so exciting, I forgot to tell Rangga. But for what most he was also with Karina.
I peed, I immediately went to the toilet half-run. Good thing it's empty, uh relieved. I wash my hands and get out.
I checked my phone to see if Rangga was calling me.
Turns out he called me about an hour and a half ago.
He is still my husband.
"It's a shame that I had a friend's event at the Clinic, Lody's birthday, so the night I came home" my permission to Rangga. Press the send button
"I'm going home to Cempaka" I sent another message. But it's still unread.
I rejoined them. Until almost 11 until some people start saying goodbye first.
"Have been picked up by the husband in front" said Dr. Atika, Jenny and Indah also picked up her husband. Sandra was picked up by her boyfriend.
My husband???
The four of us, I'm Lody Vivian and Wira.
I knew Vivian would roll away if she drove me home, because it wasn't exactly the same way.
"Saiy I ordered ajha online taxi yes" I asked.
"I'm not the anter" Vivian said.
"Far away.You're the same Lody ntar back and forth in the distance" I replied.
"Wir, don't you cost me there too right?" ask Lody to Wira.
"Mau nawarin anyway Lod, fear of rejection" said Wira later.
"If you're with Wira not papa, but if you still insist on taking a taxi, I'm anterin"
Vivian.
I looked towards Wira, she just smiled.
Vivian pulled me away.
"Where are you going, can't you pick it up?"
"Ohh meeting outside the city" I replied
"Tempo the day he nanya in you bebz, I myself do not know where you are, hp turned off again "
"Your mother is next tomorrow" Lody approached me and Vivian.
The hero caught up with him in the back.
We walked to the parking lot, Lody and Vivian got out first.
The hero opened the car door and let me in.
After a while, he got behind the wheel.
"Jalan Cempaka ya" I told him . Like taking a taxi online.Wira snuggles.
Long enough he just shut up, usually he's chatty.
"I'm angry" I said slowly.
"I'm sorry I haven't responded to the chat" I continued.
"Seneng yes make people think" he said later.
"Oh. What dreams do I think of the Doctor" I chanted to melt the atmosphere.
"Yes that is not it, what is the difficulty of the news, so that people are not confused, not anxious, this goes nowhere, hp is turned off until a week" Omel Wira.
Ihh ngapain also he sampe segitunya ngomel, when Vivian kayaknya.
"Yes.. Forgive me Doctor" I've reached my own ear. The hero finally laughed at my behavior.
"Where are you from?" The question began to soften.
"Ihhh kepo yes, want to know ajha what knows" my god.
"Not both"
"Yes, what was the question before" I said manyun.
and again the hero laughed at me.
"You don't papa often come home this late" asked Wira later.
"Ordinary" I replied.
"Nobody waiting at home?"
I was silent for a moment. Yes me and Rangga starting from the beginning of marriage always come home late, it seems like we have never enjoyed dinner together.
"Heh was even dumbfounded" Wira grabbed my arm with her arm.
"Well, how many until Cempaka?" tanyanya.
"Oh. That's the black fence" pointed me out.
The hero pulled his car over in front of my fence.
"Thank you for the ride, Doctor" I said before descending.
"Together Nabila's mother" he replied
"Eh tomorrow want to be picked up?, he said his car in the office stay" he bargained.
"Emmh no need, ntar let me be escorted my driver ajha" declined me smooth.
"Yes, I slept" he said again.
He waited for me to get inside the fence.
------
Karina had to bedrest completely while waiting for the delivery schedule. Almost 2 weeks he was in the hospital, he was hospitalized, his parents had come to accompany him.
He can go home today.
From the time of the incident to today I have not seen him again. I never went back to Serayu. Rangga who returned to Cempaka occasionally.
"Honey, go home" Pinta Rangga that day through WA.
I actually prefer my own home, but that's my husband's order.
"Yes, honey" I said briefly.
--
I haven't seen Rangga's car in the yard, it looks like he hasn't come yet. But the house lights are all on meaning Karina and her parents are already at home.
I said my greetings when I entered the house, mother Karina welcomed me from the living room. Will he be angry with me too?
The beautiful woman welcomed me warmly.
"Just come home, son?" Greeting her with a smile, I kissed her hand, and she hugged me and kissed my cheek.
Sometimes the thought goes, Karina is not their child. How people as good as them have children like Karina.
Karina's mother flanked me in, her father looked fresh out of the room and rushed over to me. I salim him too.
"Have you eaten?, I cooked but yes home cooking"
"When you change your clothes, ma'am" I replied.
The woman smiled. I rushed into my room.
Still inexhaustible, lest their children be switched, but Karina's face inherits the beauty of her mother.
I looked around my room, pacing back and forth indistinctly with a towel in my hand.
I still haven't been to the bathroom, even though I've been in the room. Just sitting in the corner of the bed, with a mindless mind. It's not very comfortable.
"Dear"
I never heard when my husband came.
He stood beside me, still glued.
I hugged Rangga and leaned my head against her.
I seem to be very tired of everything that happened.
Rangga rubbed my head slowly. I fell silent and closed.
I don't know what I'm feeling. A nothingness.
"Darling, have you eaten?"
Ask Rangga later, I nodded.
"I took a shower baby" I took off my arms from Rangga and went to the bathroom.
I'm actually still angry and upset with him. This pain cannot just go away.
But this is part of the consequences I have to face for accepting karina in our lives.
Long time I stayed in the bathroom, until finally Rangga call me.
"Darling, you're doing nothing, right?
"Yes, just a little more" I replied
I immediately finished my bath, and went out.
Rangga was not seen in the room, I went out of the room, I saw him chatting with Karina's father, saw me out of the room, Karina's mother stood by me. He's holding me in the dining room.
"If you've eaten ma'am" I told her to refuse subtly. My appetite is gone.
"Son Rangga hasn't eaten lak if it's temenin huh?!" Said later.
Rangga followed me to the kitchen, mother left us both. Rangga pulled up a chair and sat down later.
I brought him food.
I pulled out a chair and sat in front of him.
"Darling, don't you eat?" Ask Rangga, I nodded.
After eating I went straight into the room, Rangga followed me.
"Darling" pangil Rangga saw me continuously speechless.
I'm staring..
"Honey I'm sorry for everything that happened, sorry to bring you into this situation" he said, looking up in my eyes.
"I don't have any feelings for karin, I did it just for the baby.
Rangga reassured me, but everything did not immediately make my heart relieved.
-------
"I don't want to see it" cried hysterically Karina from inside the room that morning, after learning I was home. His parents tried to calm him down. He cursed me with a swearing oath. I was still stuck in front of my bedroom door.
Rangga just got out of the bathroom
"What's wrong?" I'm just dodging. Rangga immediately entered karina's room.
Sounding rowdy inside, Karina seemed to be hurting herself. The cry of karina's mother. And also the cry of Rangga.
I immediately tidied up my things and put them in the bag. I've been going crazy here for a long time.
I went out, they didn't realize my departure.
Shit, my car can't get out. Last night I came first.
I've been very upset. I quickly walked out the fence.
Trying to order a taxi online, why is the server busy this morning.
My phone shook, Rangga called me, it seemed like he had noticed my departure.
I'm lazy to lift it, I'm still walking on the street housing, I try to order back to keep the server is still busy.
Rangga's car stopped in front of me, he opened the glass door and called out my name. I just caught a glimpse of it and walked back.
"Honey, come in first" he said, following me.
Too upset to not pay attention to my surroundings, many pairs of eyes look at me, finally I was forced to climb into Rangga's car.
"Darling.." said Rangga grabbed my ladder, I wagged it.
"I was in Cempaka until Karina gave birth, rather than being driven mad, see me as a demon ajha" I said.
"Do you still believe that I harmed her?" I stared at Rangga sharply.
"I don't have such thoughts, I know you more than anyone. I apologize for the incident" Rangga said later.
I took a long breath. My frustration is not gone.
Seriate..
