That's so dirty of me

Get far

Raze P. O. V

It's been almost two weeks since that night. The night that Zahra was acting weird and sleeping in my room. And from that very night I promised myself not to be swept away by Zahra's strange and spoiled attitude that always came together. I chose to stay away and keep my distance from Zahra.

I didn't mean anything else, it's just that I realized one thing, that Zahra was already tied up by someone else. And that bond will become clearer in a few days.

Yeah, you guys are right.

One more week, Zahra will be officially owned by someone else. Zahra is getting married. And one more week, I'll be completely gone from Zahra's life.

Negotiating with time and heart, in order to work together to release the feelings that I have counted for 12 years and hide behind the mask of a sister figure for him.

12 years?

What do you think?

Is it a long time or vice versa, not much?

Me?

If the question is addressed to me, then the answer is "I don't know."

Wh why?

Because the 12 years I've been through aren't what I think. Everything just flows, because what I know, if Zahra is my soul mate then wherever and wherever we split must be the end and eventually will unite.

That's my simple thought, everything I've given to the almighty. The most loving. The most romantic.

Tired up?

Of course, it's not natural.

No, that doesn't mean I'm bored or fed up with loving and expecting.

It's not like that.

It's just that feeling tired will come attacking me by itself when I find out that he's not for me.

No, nothing's wrong.

Allah's?

It is not God's fault for creating love for me, but it is completely my fault. It's my fault that I can't cultivate this taste according to the rules.

Zahras?

No, not anymore. Zahra is completely innocent here. He was an ordinary man and he only regarded me as a brother, because he only knew that, not the other truth. And it's clear here it's my fault. It was my fault that I could not control this feeling. Letting her grow up with false hope. I should have realized long ago, that Zahra would never consider my presence more than a sister. It should be like that.

The alif?

Don't let you think like that. He's innocent, I told you, not if all this is God's decision and plan. Not Alif's will and not Alif's.

So, all this is my careless mistake to let this taste grow and everything is set by God. The almighty.

Does pain?

I'd be lying if I told you that after all this I'm still fine. No matter how strong the man is, but if he is concerned with the affairs of the heart or has problems with the heart, then he will certainly be weak. Feeling a very painful tightness. The pain is not like the pain if physically injured. That's far.

When physically injured sometimes not to make us shed tears, especially men who do have a high enough immunity compared to women. But if it's the heart, whether it's a woman or a man, will be as strong as anything, will be as permanent as anything, the pain will inevitably lead to tears. And me, I went through and felt all that.

A feeling of tightness that is very painful and binding, sometimes I do not realize if my tears to drip. Sometimes I don't realize that just because of the affairs of my heart I can fall this weak, weeping wailing lamenting the fate of life exactly 14 years ago. When my only focus in life was called home by the almighty.

The pain is exactly like that. It might even hurt more because I had to willingly see and hear Zahra's life story with others for the rest of my life.

But it doesn't matter, as long as he's happy with his choice. It didn't matter as long as he didn't regret his choice. And again it doesn't matter as long as he can smile and remain my cheerful and spoiled little Zahra. That doesn't matter.

I wiped the tears that had dripped from my eyes. Then I got up from my seat and walked towards the balcony of my room. Look down and find Zahra laughing with her strange friends.

It's nice to see Zahra like this, and at least this is what's best for me.

Suddenly my right shoulder was patted by someone, making my activity immediately stop. I decided to turn around and found Abi who was smiling warmly at me. I let out a sigh of relief and gave her the best smile I ever had, for her.

"Razis. " Call her authoritative. He gave me a gesture to follow his steps and ended up sitting on the side of my bed.

I followed him and sat down on my bed.

"Zahra's wedding is counting the days again." Abi's voice started the chat. I kept quiet and waited for the continuation of Abi's words.

"And keep counting the days you'll be gone, son. " Continue Abi.

"Do you not want to talk about your departure to Zahra?, Abi reckon Zahra deserves to know all this. "

I nodded my head to understand and understand the meaning of Abi's conversation.

"Zahra deserves to know, Abi. But not now, not yet. " Answer me as calmly as possible.

"As you have been complaining for a few days, Zahra kept asking questions and being spoiled about me. I'm afraid if I tell you right now Zahra won't accept my decision. I don't want to make her lose the figure of an older brother she's been missing for 10 years. I don't want to, Abi. " I answered honestly.

I saw Abi speechless, but soon he returned to his voice.

"If you think like that, then what's the difference now with that day? Didn't telling her at the last moment hurt a lot more than telling her now?" Abi's question sounded serious.

"Don't hurt my daughter, son. Quite yesterday he was injured, but for now and beyond, don't. Don't make my daughter cry again Razi. " Submit Abi is full of worries.

Right, he's a father.

Protector for his family, especially his daughter. I understand where Abi's talking is going. As a father, he must be afraid if something to hurt his daughter. He would be very disappointed in himself if anything hurt his daughter.

Before answering, I sighed and tried to neutralize the heartbeat and nervousness.

"Abi, far from the bottom of my heart, I don't want to hurt her. As Abi knew, it was still the same. And getting stronger in me. It is always the first and always will be. " Answer me steady.

"But Zahra only thinks of me as an older brother, nothing more. Even if I tell you about my departure now, I'm afraid that the look on her sad face and the crying makes me weak in my decision. And if I tell him now and choose to leave, I'm afraid he'll shut himself up again and have no backup. But if it is tomorrow, after all the plans go well, then no matter how sad, you will still smile as a Zahra because at the time he already has a backrest. He's got Alif, Abi. Abi doesn't have to worry. " Obviously I.

Abi was silent, probably still pondering or thinking about my explanation. I saw clearly her facial expression which was displaying a puzzled expression.

What is confusing Abi?

What makes Abi so confused like this?

"Zara.." Abi's voice was staring at me.

"Abi sure has more feelings for you, son. He thinks of you as more than a sister. " Continue Abi managed to make me speechless.

It turned out that this made Abi like this.

I honestly don't know what to say. I want to be happy, but it hurts me. Zahra's brief remark upon receiving Alif's proposal has made it all clear. It is clear that what Abi and Dira say is not true. What they concluded was a mistake. That's not true and it makes me have to be aware of my current position. Yeah, I'm nobody.

"So wrong, Zahra is not that kind of person. He couldn't have thought that far, because he knew I was a big brother to him. " My elk is bitter. It hurts, honestly.

Ah, I know why Abi kept his argument to me. I know if he's afraid that Zahra isn't happy with Alif. He hesitated, maybe.

"Alif a good man, abi. Abi knows him well, doesn't he?s the man in charge. " My voice guessed Abi's doubt.

Abi nodded faintly.

"Let's know, son. But it feels calmer if Zahra lives with you, son. Abi believes that Zahra will always be fine by your side. " Responsor Abi.

Again I smiled bitterly at how much Abi trusted and expected me. But it is only hope because God has a way for me and for Zahra. We can't walk the same path.

"Abi was only used to being with Razi, so Abi never thought about anything else. But believe me abi, whoever is with Zahra is the one God chose for him. The best." My voice is sincere.

Abi was silent maybe still stricken with doubt.

Abi is just too scared to let Zahra off to the others. He still doubts. I can't blame Abi for being a father. Of course it was very disturbing his mind.

"Abi has failed Razi, your Papah once told Abi to marry you to one of Abi's daughters. And you chose Zahra back then." Abi's voice sounded disappointed.

I shook my head in disbelief, no it wasn't abi's fault. This is my path and there is nothing wrong here. Abi.

"Abi, how many times has Razi said that this is nobody's fault. Didn't Razi himself choose Zahra to love?, and this was God's plan not anyone's will. " I refute abi's thinking.

Abi breathed heavily.

"Then what about abi's promise to your parents, son?. They must be disappointed with all this. "

"Why did Abi say that?, it was impossible because by feeling this test I could learn to be someone strong and patient. Both of Razi's parents must be happy to see Razi get through all this. Razi was sure they would be proud. "

I smiled imagining that papah and mama up there were smiling happily seeing me get through all this. Being someone strong is like the message of Papah a few days before he is called home by God.

"Trust me, Abi. They must be proud to see me like this."

"How is.. " Abi's voice is worried.

I'm quietly waiting for the continuation of abi's words.

"What if you marry Annisa?"

I'm appalled. Of course, because I never thought I'd get that far. Marrying Annisa was a thought that never crossed my mind.

"Annisa is my sister. I never thought that far about Annisa because she was already considered a sister to me." Refuse me to be honest.

Abi was silent and I was the same. I know what Abi was thinking when he said that. He doesn't want to disappoint me. He didn't want to break his promise to my mom and dad. He wanted me to get what he promised. I-i understand.

"We'll talk about this later tonight and please son, don't stay away from Zahra for a few days. He seems very uninspired and always asks where you are. Abi beg you before you actually leave." Abi's voice as he walked towards the exit.

I just hesitated. Not sure what it's like to stare at Zahra's face for these moments. If I could I want to disappear from Zahra's life. My presence is enough to make everyone in this house hard to face the spoiled attitude of Zahra.

 

                            ***      

Zahra P's. O. V

"Zahra, if you want to cut off your hand here please, I won't forbid you. However, for now the event is raging, daydreaming you or some kind of postponed first after you finish cooking. " Sindir Fia to me. He didn't look at me at all. Busy with cooking shows.

I snorted dislikely and sped up the show cutting me off carelessly. My mood is really not good this week. So irritating.

My days have to go through cooking, studying and cleaning things. Just every day until now. I can't do activities outside the house, don't just do activities outside the house out is not allowed. Though I did not come out to play, but just buy the necessities of the house or snack in the super market in front of the house is not allowed.

And again every day I have to listen to all kinds of advice, advice, advice and nagging that sometimes end up irritating me.

"Eh, Ra, how come I never see Razi anyway?. Where's your brother?" Tanya An made my irritation grow goiter.

Not you, An. I'm the one who, as his sister, his family and the one with him, has not seen his nose for a few days.

I don't know what he's doing and where he's going I don't know. But for sure, every time I questioned his whereabouts they always answered that he was busy.

Busy what?

Busy why?

Work affairs.

Office business.

Pesantren cottage business.

And it always ends with that answer that's it. Is the business of work so important that it makes him rarely at home and always looks disappear?

At night, he came home late. I can't talk or just ask about her routine. Even in the morning he was gone when I woke up, hell as if he was avoiding me.

But is it true?

"Yes, Ra. I have never seen your brother from yesterday. " The voice of the Goddess breaks my daydream.

I shrugged my shoulders indifferently.

"Gue doesn't know. " I answered honestly.

They both frowned confused.

"Kok you don't know anyway, you adeknya, one more roof aka him." Wonder Latifa follow kepo and join us.

"Gue is great but that doesn't mean I have to know anything about him. And again he has his own life and privacy. " Answer me irritated.

What I'm saying, they must be surprised to hear my ignorance of Razi's whereabouts. I'm his sister's one more roof.

"Kok lo so wise gini anyway, you sick? " Why kok kesel yah? Having friends is a great feeling. This is wrong, by the way it is wrong. Feeling this same dinistain is slurred.

"Whatever you say, I don't care. Bodo. " Stop I'm tired.

They giggle unclear. Know what I'm saying, 'cause nothing's sorted out with their brains. Forgive dah.

"Gue knows! " They all stopped laughing, and suddenly Fia joined us. Maybe his cooking show was already done so he followed the nibrung.

"Sister Razi may be having a conversation with Zahra's future sister-in-law. "

Deg

How sick is it?. My chest is suddenly the feeling of tightness with the words of Fia. Am I jealous?

But what is it?

Isn't Razi my brother?

But why does it feel weird?. Why do I feel that Razi's brother is someone more for me. Why do I feel I hate when I find out that Razi's sister is close to another woman.

This is not the first time, while in the boarding house as well. When I heard Nabila talk about Razi's brother. I also felt very sick at that time.

I'm not willing to but isn't this wrong?

I'd never feel this feeling if it was Alif. I've never been this noble about the heart if it was anything other than Razi's sister.

Is this natural?

I keep the taste to my own sister. But haven't these feelings been around since I was a child?, ever since I dreamed and imagined that one day I would marry Razi's sister. I..love Razi?

"Pdkt, what do you mean?" The voice of the Goddess sounded impatient. I realized from my daydream, ah today was really draining my emotions.

"Whoa, ****. Lo think what?" Fia replied with her irritated face.

I shut up and chose to hear their chatter.

"Lha, do you know where Fi from if Razi again pdkt same prospective sister-in-law, Zahra?" Demand Latifa not believe it.

Fia rolled her eyes lazily, she looked very cute if it was like this.

"Ih, you on why on so plain impromptu like this?, wonder me. This is well I explained, why Razi sister-in-law nyari for Zahra because Zahra would be willing to marry again, so as a sister he did not want to lose to his sister. Do you understand?"

They nodded understandingly.

Me?

I'm still busy with my crazy thoughts about Razi. How can I act like this, loving my own sister? It's very painful.

I love Razi.

What should I do with this feeling? Do I have to reveal it to Razi?. After I reveal will Razi be disgusted and hate me?

Will he stay away from me?

Nah! I won't be able to. Not meeting her for a week just makes me so fucked up like this. I won't be able to.

"Then.. " My voice hesitated.

Everyone was silent, they looked at me curiously.

"Who is Razi approaching right now, who is the lucky girl? " Task me timidly.

"When. " Answer Fia sounded sure.

"Most likely he is Nabila. "

Tik

"Zahra, why are you crying?" Shocked Goddess.

"Huh? " My voice was in shock.

No, this can't happen.

I'm not willing.

"Lo cry, Ra. Wh why? " Task soft Fia.

I wiped my face in a hurry and right, I cried. I cried over the unusual course of my life. Loving my own sister and ending up having to let her go with the others, I couldn't.

I'm not willing.

I won't be able to.

"Yes, Ra, why?. Are you sad because Razi married Nabila? Don't be lo, Ra, we are all also sad to wriggle Razi brother marriage is the same Nabila tomorrow. Brutal and shameless girls are not suitable for Razi. Razi's brother fits you better, Ra." An Voice.

"Huh, same me? " Shock me.

"Sama lo?, it's not that, when you want to marry your own brother is not funny, Ra. "

Stabbing this talk, son. If you like it, I think so too. It's not funny that I married my own sister, but what about how I feel?

"Asstagafirullah.kalian why on gini huddle?. Instead of helping sister clean-up kitchen eh even on fun gibahin people. " Take me, sister Annisa's soul came out with our impromptu rumpi show.

We all immediately disperse do not want to horrify the soul of sister Annisa who came out more acute again.

They all helped Annisa put all the cooking on the dining table, while I would rather get out of the kitchen. To calm the heart.

"Zahras. " Just a few steps out of the kitchen have been intercepted by Annisa.

"Yes, brother. " My voice is lethargic.

"Please call Abi and Umi to join us at the dinner table. " Bondage.

I nodded in understanding and immediately walked towards the living room. Usually this kind of jam Abi and Umi spend their time together in the family room. Talking about family or business problems they must be in the family room.

"Come, Um-" I'm surprised.

"Zahra's? " Shock them all. Yes, there are not only abi and umi, but there is Razi's brother who also looks very shocked to see my presence.

"Sir, when were you there?" Ask her to panic. They seem to be hiding something from me. It was evident from the expressions on their frightened faces.

"just now. " Answer me as it is.

I looked at Razi who was also staring at me, I missed him. If I could right now I want to run and hug her.

I'm a little disappointed.

"Why, baby? " Return Umi asked me. Umi stroked my head gently.

"It's lunch time. " Answer me.

"And you need to get to the dinner table before the food gets cold." Connect me.

Umi smiled warmly and nodded in agreement to my words.

"Come, bi. " Take Umi while leading abi out of the living room.

Razi's sister walked after abi and Umi, but before she passed me, I held her left arm to stop.

I feel if Razi's body stiffens, for what reason I don't know. But for sure at the moment I want to straighten things out.

"Sister, we need to talk. " My voice demands.

Razi looked agitated, something was hidden.

"Sure, but not now. Brother laper, eat. " Reply softly.

I nodded in understanding and let go of his arm. I was thinking that right now, Razi had no intention of staying away from me.

"We'll talk after all the brother's business is done today, okay?" His question sounds like normal.

I nodded weakly.

"When?" Indict me.

I want to ask for an explanation for everything Fia said. About the woman he chose to marry.

"After brother's business is done. " the answer. I bit off her fidgety lips, dissatisfied with her very hanging answer.

"When? " Return me.

"Zahra big brother is serious if big brother is going to talk about everything, but not now, big brother has to finish big brother's business first. " His voice sounded frustrated. Even when he spoke, he refused to look me in the eye. Don't look at me, just to see my face he won't.

"I know, but when?. Remember, you reneged on your big brother's promise a few weeks ago? " My words are hurt.

Yeah, I still remember her. The night that I received Alif's proposal, the proposal I received without thinking about her carefully. That night I knew I had to finish the whole procession and talk to Razi. Yes, that is the reason why I acted recklessly by accepting the proposal.

I'm ill.

"So, I'm not sorry for that day. " His voice was soft, I saw the dimmed look in his eyes. Spoons.

"We'll talk tonight, brother will see you if you're still up. " disconnected.

"Come, let's go to the dinner table. Everyone must have been waiting for us. " Take Razi and walk ahead of me.

I stared at the straight back of Razi who looked very shady.

"I know you're trying to get away from me. "

                           ***                           

Raze P. O. V

I stared at all the documents of my move from Indonesia to Egypt. I'm not taking care of my citizenship transfer, but this is just my Egypt residency permit for about 3 years to finish my studies there.

All the documents were complete and some suitcases that were neatly filled with my clothes and personal items were ready.

I smiled with satisfaction and breathed a sigh of relief, how exhausting today was. Draining your thoughts and emotions simultaneously.

I have the lyrics of a watch that has been adhering sweetly to my left wrist. It's showing at 11:18 p.m. Zahra must be sleeping by now.

Yeah, as you know, I promised I'd see her after all my business was done. But looking at the clock that already showed midnight, I paused my intention to meet him.

I glanced once more at all the documents of my move that were strewn across the bed before closing my bedroom door.

Like my plan with Umi and Abi that we will finish our talks that were delayed due to the sudden presence of Zahra this afternoon.

"Assynolajet.. " Greet Umi and Abi in the guest room.

"Waalaikumussalam.. " Answer them.

"How is Razi, is Zahra asleep?" Umi's voice asked softly.

I nodded in agreement, as I saw earlier that there was no sign; the sign of Zahra was still awake.

"Razi was sure that Zahra had fallen asleep." My voice is calm.

Umi nodded in understanding.

"Razi, have you finished all your moving business? " Ask abi to the point.

"Abi, Razi just finished it." Answer me honestly.

"What about where you live? "

"Alhamdulillah.Razi's residence has also been obtained. Very close to the Razi campus, even the apartment that Razi will occupy has complete facilities. " Answer me.

"Alhamdulillah.." Thank goodness Umi.

We all fell silent.

"Your papah nature and attitude declined well to you." Abi's voice started the conversation.

"Right, your papah used to be just like you. If you have decided something, you will be very firm in maintaining your decision. He's very stubborn. " Continue chuckling reminiscing about the past.

I smiled faintly, this is not the first time they have told me about my parents.

"But.. " Abi's voice hangs.

"Wouldn't you regret this decision one day?" Raut abi is worried.

I shook with sure.

"In shaa Allah will not, abi. " Answer me sure.

"Abi please. "

"You know?, when your parents were alive, we made a promise. That you will be married to one of Abi and Umi's daughters. And the funny thing was that the promise was kept by them until that day came. They really ask umi and abi to look after and raise you. We did not refuse even at those moments we kept our promise to match you with one of our daughters. And as it happens today, you chose Zahra for it." Umi ended her story.

"Razi, forgive us for not being able to keep Zahra for you, son. Forgive us. " Sesal Abi's.

I smiled knotty, no. I told you there's nothing wrong here.

"Sir, there's nothing to forgive. You guys have taken care of her so much just like this makes me so happy. And also Abi, we've talked about it not if Zahra also needs happiness for herself. He chose someone who could enter his heart. Surely it's all God's plan, so there's nothing wrong and you don't have to worry about anything."

"Marry Annisa, son. " Pinta umi with her warm and sincere gaze.

"Then we can keep our promise to your parents. "

I shook firmly.

"Annisa I've considered my own sister and I'm not going crazy to want to marry my own. And you don't have to be like this about your promise to my parents. You've kept that promise well, I'm standing here in a state of well-being that makes my parents proud. So don't think about anything else. "

Sighs, "This is what makes us hesitant to let go of you, son. We've looked at you like our own son. " Truth Umi while taking me into her arms. A warm hug and not much different from a mother's hug. No, they're the same people. My parents. Who raised me and loved me with all my heart. Two of the best angels the world has ever seen. And I am grateful to be with them even though I am not their real child, but believe me they behave like parents to me. And I'm happy about it. I don't know when God will give me a chance to repay their kindness. I hope my time gets to that day.

"Truthfully so did Razi, Umi. It's hard because for Razi you're Razi's parents. But for a science it must be sacrificed, is it okay not abi? "

Abi smiled warmly. And nodded slowly approving of my words.

"Of course, son. " his voice.

I smiled at how happy this self was beside them.

Mah, pah, thank you for trusting me in their hands. Thank you for having great people like them be your friends, Razi is sure that Allah is pleased with your friendship.

                            ***

Zahra P's. O. V

a few minutes after Razi came out of his room and met Abi and Umi in the family room.

It's already at 11 p.m., but signs of Razi's arrival are not yet visible. Remember not that he promised to see me this afternoon?, I hope you remember.

And for now I'm really scared if Razi breaks his promise again. Although this is a trivial thing for you but do not forget that I have more feelings for Razi. So naturally I would assume this was the thing that hurt me.

I glanced at the clock once more and decided to go out to see Razi.

I don't know what business he is doing so he takes a lot of time like this. If I were his wife I'd make sure he could never touch all the office documents that unfortunately are the biggest problem for me.

Some of the lights in the house have been turned off. Like the others are resting. Is Razi also resting to see the state of a very quiet house like this.

I set my foot toward Razi's room, after I tried to knock on the door slowly. Afraid that he is disturbed.

Geck.. Geck.. Geck..

"Sister? " Call me.

"Sister Razi? " Call me again but there is still no word from within.

I stick my ear to the side of the door but there is still no sound inside. Out of curiosity I dared myself to open the door to Razi's room.

Cclek

Not locked.

I opened slowly and entered slowly. Blank.

There's no one in this room. I walked into the kitchen to check on Razi but it was also empty.

I spread my eyes to all corners of his room. Very nice for a boy size.

"Shopper? " My surprise was when my gaze was fixed on two suitcases that stood firmly on the side of the closet.

"Why? " My confusion while checking the seal of the suitcase that looks new, even the smell of the shop is still.

"Watchpad? " My amazement grew when I saw that both suitcases had been closed and padlocked neatly.

Out of curiosity I opened all the cabinets and found them empty.

"Where is Razi going?" Fear me. I was so shocked by all this that my gaze fell upon some documents scattered on the bed.

"Passport? " I can't believe I saw all this.

Here there are passports, residence permit cards and documents for moving from Indonesia to Egypt.

Whatisthis?

What he has always called busyness, always disappears every day just to take care of this.

I can't believe it!

Does Razi intend to go to Egypt?

When's?

Andwhy?

Why has he never talked to me about this?. Why didn't he ever tell me all this?

Is he going to stay away from me?

But for what?

Hix..

I want to deny that this is real but I am definitely in this place. With a number of documents named Muhammad Affianka Razi.

It´s real.

Hix.. Even everything he has prepared neatly without my knowledge. Is this fair?

No. gabe.

Of course this is unfair.

I need an explanation, I need an explanation for all this.

I stepped my foot out and went down the stairs in a hurry. I almost fell down because of my carelessness.

I took my hasty steps into the kitchen, but there was no one. In the living room, there was no one until I heard someone talking from the family room.

"Razi, forgive us for not being able to keep Zahra for you, son. Forgive us. " That's Abi's voice.

Why did Abi apologize to Razi?. Then, why should they carry my name in this matter?

What's the matter?

"Sir, there's nothing to forgive. You guys have taken care of her so much just like this makes me so happy. And also Abi, we've talked about it not if Zahra also needs happiness for herself. He chose someone who could enter his heart. Surely it's all God's plan, so there's nothing wrong and you don't have to worry about anything."

That's Razi's voice, a firm but tender voice. My choice?

What does Razi mean by Alif?. What's with my choice?

Razi thinks I'm happy? Nah!

You're wrong, brother, I'm not happy at all. I'm not happy, I'm only happy if I'm by your side.

"Marry Annisa, son. " Outama pinta.

Marry Annisa's sister?

Whatisthis?

why can Umi say such a strange request? Isn't Razi our sister, then why can Umi easily ask Razi to marry Annisa who is clearly her sister.

"Then we can keep our promise to your parents. "

Both parents, Razi?. What do you mean if Razi is not our older brother?. So we're not blood?

Our... Not brother?

"Annisa I've considered my own sister and I'm not going crazy to want to marry my own. And you don't have to be like this about your promise to my parents. You've kept that promise well, I'm standing here in good health already making my parents proud. So don't think about anything else. "

"So, right? So he's not my big brother.. Hix.. " I shut my mouth with my hands so that my crying voice would not be heard by them.

"This is what makes us hesitant to let go of you, son. We've looked at you like our own son. "

It's insane!

Why do I feel like this is a game?

I harbored a feeling for the person I thought was my older brother, and stupidly again I became the only person who looked stupid with this feeling that I was craving.

They hid a fact that Razi's brother was not my brother cruelly.

I can't figure out why they did all this but why am I the reason umi and abi apologized to Razi?

Guard me?

What do they mean that Razi harbored the same feelings as me?

Did ya?

So he's been acting like this to me all this time to avoid me, stay away from me by choosing to go to Egypt?

I won't let it!

I step my feet slowly away from the family room so as not to make a sound.

And immediately walked towards Razi's room, entered and turned off his room light.

Author P's. O. V

Zahra buried her puffy face in the embrace of her knees. Sayup-sayup heard the sound of Zahra's sobbing that hinted at a disappointment.

Well, tonight he had a surprise that he had never thought of before.

A fact where he finally found out that Razi was not his biological brother, but his adoptive brother.

In the darkness and cold of the night he spilled all his bitter feelings in Razi's room.

Until the sound of the door being opened intruded on him.

He was silent without a wiggle. Even opening his voice was reluctant even though the sound of sobbing could still be heard even though he tried to hold it.

Pips

Sound switch light.

"Zahra's? " Shock Razi.

Zahra did not budge and was still reluctant to raise her head.

"Dec, what's wrong with you?" Panic Razi.

"Why are you crying, hem?"

Razi asked increasingly worried because he did not get any response from Zahra.

"Sister.. " Zahra's voice sounded hoarse.

Razi quietly waited for further remarks from Zahra.

Slowly Zahra lifted her head, revealing her beautiful face that was flushed red from the fatigue of crying.

"Aren't you going to stay away from me?" Ask Zahra pilu.

"Ap.pa you mean deck? " Panic Razi.

Zahra smiled wryly, rubbing her rough face with her trembling hands.

"You're satisfied, aren't you, after making me look stupid like this, you decided to leave me.. Hix.. "

Seriate...