That's so dirty of me

Dupus

*I want to fly to embrace him.

However, every time I approached her, the thorns would stab me.

Goddess Asri Rahma*.

 

\-\-\-\-\-\-

 

Goddess P. O. V

After the first play came out, I decided to speak to Fia, Zahra's best friend.

Zahra was a very cheerful and jolly girl, everyone could see her.

But not for me.

For me Zahra was only masked in this school and she just pretended that nothing had ever happened as long as she laughed, but actually behind us all she was very lonely, very wounded.

When I first knew her I used to hear stories about Zahra, about her family who hated her. I didn't believe it at first, but when I read Zahra's diary I finally believed it.

The flash back

"Zahra, we're going to the canteen yuk."

Call Fia impatient like a hot worm.

"Gue's not laper, Fi." Answer Zahra casually.

I am a little amused to see Zahra's very flat expression responding to Fia's call which is already very similar to a overheated worm.

Fia took a breath, then with her spoiled she shouted out loud. "Aaaaa.gue doesn't want to know, Ra, you have to come with me to the cafeteria. Temenin me." Shouted Fia who already did not want to be rejected.

Zahra raised her face, looking at Fia with her flat gaze. A few minutes later, Zahra again lowered her gaze and refocused herself on a thick gray notebook.

Like a diary book, but where maybe Zahra the brandal girl is struggling with a diary book that in fact is a book for cupu girls, aka lonely girls.

Once again I wanted to laugh as I saw Zahra's still flat expression responding to Fia.

"Lo can be accompanied by Ann or Latifa,"

Zahra stopped her words, then turned to look at my face which was also looking at her face. For a few seconds he looked me in the eye, Zahra looked back at Fia.

"Also you can be accompanied by the Goddess or all four of you to the cafeteria." Connect Zahra.

Hearing Zahra's reply, Fia immediately reacted by putting on her original innocent face making me want to vomit.

"Ra, do you want to see me hit again with sister Yola?. You're not next to me, so he could have hit me again like yesterday." Fia whined, making her helpless expression. Seeing him makes me want to throw up.

Hearing Fia's reason, Zahra immediately stared intently into Fia's eyes until Zahra finally stood up and decided to accompany Fia to the cafeteria. Looking at that scene, honestly I am very envious of Fia.

Either way, it might just be my feelings or what but whenever Fia was in trouble, the first person to come to her aid was Zahra. Sigh, I want it.

After the departure of the two of them, I also intend to catch up with the two of them. However, as I passed the Zahra bench I saw Zahra's gray book lying helpless under the bench.

"This is a diary.." I muttered while picking up the Zahra diary.

"How did this book fall? oh, maybe when Zahra stood up she accidentally nudged the diary.." I guessed my own question.

I also intend to put back the Zahra diary, but because I was curious I also ventured to open it.

Hall 1

Dear, diary.

It's about my day, about my lonely journey. The empty will

love from them.

Dear?

Am I wrong to ask for a little attention, am I wrong dear?

Every time I think, why do I always feel that my luck is not the same as other kids my age.

They live at home with their families, I'm the same. They have parents who raised them so I'm the same.

But nevertheless, the,

They were raised with affection then why didn't I?

Dear, why didn't that happen while I didn't?

Zahra.

Without me noticing, my tears fell on the Zahra book.

Is this really you Zahra?

Really, you're so different here.

To clarify Zahra's outpouring of heart, I read the next page.

Hall 2

Dear, diary.

Do you know what happened today?

Maybe you don't know, but I'll tell you everything.

Dear, this morning Razi tested me again. Maybe the words of Razi that I did not think too much about yesterday, but the words of Razi today made me sick even very sick.

Do you know what he said to me?

He compared me again to Annisa's sister. So far I've always accepted whatever he told me but not anything related to Annisa's sister.

I don't know why I hate myself so much compared to Annisa's sister. I accept it if it's someone else, but not with Annisa.

Dear, it may be because of her change and they are because of sister Annisa. Because of sister Annisa, she made my handsome prince forget about me and because sister Annisa, abi and umi also forgot about me.

Dear, so far they always corner me when I make a mistake. I accepted the pain, but when the mistake I made was compared to Annisa's gentle sister, I thought I was never there in their eyes.

Every time I make a reckless act honestly it's because I want to test them, whether they're going to ask and find out why I'm like this or they're just going to be indifferent.

And yes, as you can see dear, my existence is only a comparison material.

Not more.

Zahra Affianisha

And again, this chest felt very tight reading this second sheet. I never thought that Zahra's life was this chaotic, really with Zahra's face always smiling cheerfully and laughing freely made me always think that Zahra's life was perfect. What else happened at that time made Zahra reveal her identity as the son of the biggest shareholder in this school. It was a fantastic surprise that could make everyone think that Zahra was a lucky girl. Beautiful face, complete and rich family. Who wouldn't have thought that if Zahra had laughed.

No one will think negatively if they see Zahra outside. But after seeing Zahra who in all those thoughts will instantly disappear.

Not wanting to linger with my thoughts, I decided to open the next page. But just as my hand was about to touch it suddenly Latifa clamorous screams were heard.

"Woi, come after me if you can."

"Wine! the four of them must be on their way here".

I decided to close the Zahra diary and put it back where it was.

Flash back off

It's not just Zahra's diary. However, sometimes I secretly watch Zahra while she is alone. That look, I can see it. Zahra's face looked gloomy with her own eyes, and one day I even saw her sitting alone in the back garden of the school.

I didn't know what she was thinking at the time, but that day she cried.

Crying out?

Not everyone has seen her cry and I'm lucky to see her.

Sigh, at least I know what Zahra's been hiding for a long time.

Author P's. O. V

"Goddess, are you here?. I've been looking for uh you even here. What's the matter, he said someone wants to talk to me? "

Ask a girl to call a goddess.

Surprised, Dewi gets Fia's confused face in front of her. "Ah, yes I am here-" the Goddess replied confusedly, looking thoughtful.

"Is there a problem? " Fia asked worriedly.

The goddess looked at Fia's face with a gaze that Fia could not understand.

"Wi, how come you are daydreaming? I answered dong."

Tegur Fia who instantly restored the consciousness of the Goddess.

"You really want to talk about me sehar-"

"It's about Zahra." Cut the Goddess fast.

After hearing the name Zahra mentioned Fia immediately responded quickly to the statement of Goddess.

"Zahra why, Wi?"

"Zahra's in danger, Fi."

"Danger, you mean, Wi?

I still don't understand. "

"So gini Fi, this morning I heard a conversation Andr-"

"Goddess!."

Call Andrini to stop the Goddess's speech.

The goddess immediately turned her face towards Andrini and Latifa who were already standing behind her.

"Ann, you kok-"

"Lo was called the same buk Yuli, told to go to the teacher's room he said" Putus Latifa.

Feeling confused, "Buk Yuli?" Ask the Goddess as if she was thinking.

"Yes." Yeah."

"There, instead of thinking about mending you to the teacher's room. Later if you get angry again with Yuli buk." Andrini's advice while pushing Dewi's shoulder away from Fia.

Although confused, he still agreed. "Oh, okay. Fi, we will continue later in the classroom" said Dewi while running to the teacher's room.

"Actually Zahra why the hell?

ah, the Goddess hasn't been perfect anymore." Kesal Fia while staring at the departure of the Goddess.

Hearing Fia's frustration, Andrini and Latifa looked at each other, coding.

"Ooo.emang Dewi said what to lo?"

Andrini tried to dig up information.

"Gue didn't know either, but he said Zahra was in danger. Ah, but I don't know what he means." Fia replied Andrini.

"Oh, that's it."

"Yes, I went to BK first. Called the same Goddess." Pamit Fia turned around and walked towards the BK room.

After Fia's back disappeared from their sight, they continued their conversation.

"Tu, did I say what!, the Goddess is a traitor, Ann!" Upset Latifa while staring angrily at the Goddess last time disappeared.

Nodding lightly, "Sigh, I've never thought so far," stared at Latifa who was now staring at her.

"We teach a little lesson, for deterrent effect. " Say Andrini relaxed while fiddling with her phone and after that she started smiling widely.

 

\\*

 

"Assalamualaik."

"Wa'alaikumussalam." Answer the Goddess.

"Mom call me?" Ask Fia politely.

Buk Dewi looks smiling when looking at Fia who is now standing in front of him.

Buk Dewi was amazed to see Fia's rapid changes, not only from the attitude but the uniform that Fia used had covered the aura even though he had not used hijap.

"Your mother?"

"I'm sorry, not me but Mr. Alif. Mr. Alif is in his room, if so, please excuse me. Assalamualaikum." Pamit buk Dewi while looking at Fia's chubby cheeks.

"Sir Alif?" Mumam Fia's.

"Please sit down, Fi."

Alif's instructions suddenly appeared and immediately sat on the existing sofa.

"Ah, yes sir. But, by the way bap-"

"You don't have to be formal, Ra. I'm your brother" Cut Alif fast.

"But, sir-"

"Why do you have to open your hijab?. Why would you take such a big risk?" Alif asked to the point to Fia casually but sounded resolute.

"Sir, the problem is we're in-"

"Don't test my patience, Kira. I want you to be seius!."

"But, sir the problem is right now we're in-"

"LUTFIA ASAKIRA!!!" Snapping Alif can't take it anymore.

"I don't care where we are, which I care is your explanation!, why go this far, Kira?" Again Alif asked again, but this in a serious tone.

Fia gulped with a snatch of Alif. He thought that if Alif only just wanted to talk, but this time Alif was really serious about the question.

"Jawab, Kira!, don't let sa-"

"I know, but why go this far, Kira?. Aren't you afraid that if you know what you've done here, aren't you afraid that the family at the cottage knows what's really going on?"

"Gosh, what's this brother saying? yes, obviously Kira is afraid if umi same abi tau. But how else, brother, this is the only way that Kira can get close to him and also that's why you have to keep your mouth shut. Hm, not only brother, Razi also promised to shut up and sister Annisa also will not tell the family in the cottage if Kira same Fira like this."

Alif sighed heavily after hearing the explanation from Fia. He looked at his cousin's face with a weak look.

"Until when?" Tanya Alif.

"In shaa Allah, stay a little while longer." Sure Fia.

"Ok, while you're waiting for your appointment, I'm the same as Razi tomorrow going to the cottage again to take care of the study that will be held in a few more days at this school."

Fia nodded her head with excitement.

"Ok, you can go now."

Fia nodded her head again and prepared to leave, but her steps stopped because she remembered something.

"Guss.." Call Fia.

Alif looks widened his eyes after hearing Fia call him.

"I guess, it's in a non-school"

Turning his eyeballs mocking, "Tadi gus said that if gus did not care if we were where, well now kok gus care?" Fia asked while chuckling.

"Sigh, ok, what's up Kira?"

"Hm, gus, what about Zahra?" Fia asked with a curious face.

"Zahra, how's it going?"

"What about Zahra who is the future wife of Gus?" Fia fishing rod while judging Alif's expression.

Alif just shook his head slowly with Fia's question.

"It's not time we talked about this."

Fia shook her head quickly, not accepting Alif's statement.

"Why?" chase Fia.

"Because the bell has rung and it's time for you to go to class."

Fia smiled amusedly with Alif's attitude that looked wrong.

"Alright, I think enter first well gus, eits but Kira just want to tell you if you really like the same Zahra better be quick to take steps before the others start moving.." Fia's advice was accompanied by a mockery while running out of the BK room.

"Goddessa.." Alif shook his head slowly, trying to forget about Fia's question.

Feeling his heartbeat speeding fast and not usually happens.

O Allah, I feel it again. This feeling.feelings that should not exist before their time..

"Not only do they want you back, but I will continue to fight until God takes you back on a straight path"

Talented alif.

After a long struggle with his own thoughts, Alif finally decided to return to his desk and continue his work that had been delayed earlier.

 

\\*

 

The goddess came out of the teacher's room with a look of bewilderment and with an assortment of thoughts filling her head.

"Kok I feel like there's something weird about all this. Ann said that I was called Yuli buk, but after I found the teacher's room to meet Yuli buk, buk Yuli said that she never called me. And strangely enough, Yuli was a special teacher for the 12th grade, while I was in the 11th. So if you think logically Yuli buk can not call me, you do not know me Yuli buk" said Dewi spoke himself and made his own conclusions.

"Oh my God!, is this a trap?" Ask the Goddess worried.

"Yaps, you're right this is a trap that's special to you." Said Yola who was suddenly already in front of him.

The goddess stepped back slowly holding back her fear.

"Don't expect you to escape my ambush." Yola said while giving a warning to Rani and Lala to act.

Surprised, Dewi could not dodge because his body was directly flanked by Rani and Lala who voluntarily dragged the body of the Goddess into a room commonly called a warehouse by anyone who saw it.

"Let go, take me off!" Jerky Goddess.

Rani and Lala just laughed crisply hearing the Scream of the Goddess.

After arriving in the warehouse, Rani and Lala also push the body of the Goddess towards the floor filled with dust. Falling, Dewi felt if her knees felt sore and coughed because of the dust she accidentally inhaled when falling.

"Ow, it hurts?" The sound of applause accompanied by a clear mockery suddenly came from the darkest direction of the warehouse where he was now.

Squinting her eyes, the Goddess immediately widened her eyes in shock upon learning the person who was mocking her was someone she knew. "Ann?" The Goddess stared in disbelief, she clearly knew that Ann would indeed act like this but she did not know that she would be this quick in acting.

Smiling sinisterly, he stared back at the Goddess' surprised gaze with ridicule. "Yes, it's me. The heat of all this. " I answered lazily.

Shaking his head, a heavy roar of breath could not help but be heard from him. "Lo.lo is completely outrageous, you're overstepping the line, Ann!." The Goddess was inexhaustible as to why Andrini should do something like this just out of a small grudge. Thinking further, one could judge that what he did was something that crossed the line.

"Crossing the line?, "Latifa made a sarcastic voice.

Staring at the expression of the Goddess with a clear expression of ridicule, "This is a natural thing for the betrayal that you sell to us, a little play is okay right?"

Frowning her forehead, the Goddess never felt if what she did was something wrong. He just wants to protect Zahra from the evil of his best friend. He did not betray, did he?, he only helped Zahra to escape the snare of a heinous plan just because of a small grudge.

"Traitor, you say I'm a traitor?" The goddess repeated her question, there was a sense of unwillingness she was stamped as a traitor.

Yola who sat opposite him gave a lazy look, thinking the drama played by Goddess is a cheap drama that has become commonplace in life. "Yes, you are a traitor, this should be the obvious thing since you think of helping Zahra. "

Staring angrily, he turned his gaze towards Andrini and chose to ignore Yola's provocative remarks towards her. "Hey, you realize you're not the one who betrayed that you're not me." The goddess said cynically, there was a thick satirical tone in it.

"Include me?" Tanya Yola with her bagok face.

"Not lo, begok," Dewi denied full of emotion.

"Oh. " Yola nodded with a mocking expression.

"Ann, Fa, I don't know if you completely forgot the promise of the five of us. I hope you won't forget. "

His hearing made Andrini laugh wryly, "Promise friendship?"

"Lo sure I would take such an idiot seriously?. Wi, I know you know very well the way of my mind all this time. I'm not including a bunch of idiot humans like you who just want to be fooled by him. "

The goddess growled furiously, she did not accept being said to be an idiot because as long as Zahra was not such a person. "Take-off"

"No drama, please, "Yola stood up from her seat, and then with a proud step she walked towards the Goddess who was sitting scared on the floor.

"No wonder, Yo, he's a ftv victim so feel again playing tv he mah. " Scoffing casually, Latifa also walked over to Yola who was now coolly staring at the Goddess' terrified expression.

Not knowing what to do, Dewi can only give up because far from inside she knows that fighting the three of them is not something easy. "What do you really want?"

Yola and Latifa immediately looked at each other as soon as this question came out from the little mouth of the Goddess.

"Of course, stay away from Zahra. " Answoring casually, Yola silently noticed the sad expression of the Goddess had now turned into an expression of anger.

Staring in disbelief, "Stay away from Zahra?, "There is anger tucked into his tone.

"Son, I can't." Deny the Goddess without thinking.

Hearing the rejection of the Goddess, finally Andrini who had just watched the demonstration began to not take it anymore. Died of her seat, Andrini took her steps towards Yola and Latifa who were pressing on Dewi.

Arriving there, Andrini immediately crouched in front of the Goddess. Carrying his hand to stroke the Goddess' smooth cheeks, he smiled faintly as a sincere welcome. Seeing Andrini smile like this made Dewi feel a cold feeling and managed to make her guts even smaller.

"My request is not difficult and very simple, I just ask you to stay away from Zahra and not kill your parents,"

The Goddess did feel a sense of fear because of being bullied Andrini, but the feeling of not wanting to protect Zahra still dominated the Goddess. Slowly he shook his head slowly, subtly refusing Andrini's unreasonable request.

Furious, Andrini immediately grasped the Goddess' hair without compassion. Interestingly, there was a menacing look that he directed at the Goddess.

"Refuse me, you must know what consequences you will have against me. You know what kind of person I am?." Threatening, he took off the clutches of his hand in the Goddess's hair. Then, touch back the smooth cheeks of the Goddess while giving a soft clap.

"But, An-"

"Gue hope you know what I want. Just staying away from it is not something that breaks the law. After all, even if you're around, you'll never be seen in Zahra's eyes." Cutting fast, Andrini looked at the Goddess with a look of pity. He said the truth he felt to the Goddess. No one has ever been seen in Zahra's eyes, not even those around him. To Zahra, they were all insignificant and useless. Only one person, yes, all this time that Andrini got the only person who was able to make Zahra talk casually was Fia. That strange girl, she always hid her family identity. No one knows where he came from, even those who always attended the meeting of parents were only the cleaners of his house and not his parents who he still kept his figure secret.

Shake slowly, "Lo's wrong, An-"

"Stop, I don't need your bullshit anymore. Shut your mouth and carry out the orders I give then your life will be fine. " Standing up, he patted his clothes cleaning the dust. There was an impression of disgust that he threw at the Goddess who was sitting pensively.

"Yep, guys. It's time we unplug, I can't breathe in a place this late. " Didn't want to argue, Yola and Latifa could only nod their heads while walking out following Andrini's steps.

But before Andrini actually came out of the door of the warehouse, Andrini stopped her steps and turned her body to face the position of the Goddess who was still sitting pensive.

"Wi, look, I never promised you'd be okay after disobeying my orders. And instead, obey my orders then everything will be fine. Because you have already interfered, so you should be able to look at safe tactics when playing. " Seeing cold Goddess who is still strong shook her head, Andrini knows Goddess is only still stubborn.

The goddess smiled slightly, more to the miris facing the haughty and stubborn attitude of Andrini. "Lo not only hurt Zahra, but the people around him too." The Goddess tried to melt Andrini's heart even though she knew it was impossible. As he said, the wounded were not only Zahra but the people who were around her as well.

Laughing little, Andrini stared arrogantly at the Goddess.

"My goal is just Zahra and not the others. However, if anyone is hurt by what I do it means he has dared to interfere in this plan. For those who are brave I will make sure to get the rewards, including lo, Wi. If you still want to live a quiet life then you have to carry out my orders, but if you are still stubborn then you will get the consequences of what you do." Finishing his words, Andrini immediately took her steps leaving the Goddess who was directly staring at him with a dazed look.

Silently, suddenly the sound of sobs sounded. Out of nowhere it came from, an extremely stifling feeling instantly embraced the trembling body of the Goddess.

"I'm sorry, Ra. I lost, I lost!. They're too strong, they're too evil, and I won't be able to do anything with any of this." The Goddess felt helpless.

"The thorns are too sharp for me to pass, so what do I do with all these defeats?"

 

\\*

 

Zahra P's. O. V

I can't stop paying attention to all the activities in my room.

"Innalallahi, your room is a mess of gini, deck? I can sleep again." Umi's comments saw my room as messy as a broken ship.

It feels good if Umi does this babble every morning, surely my days will be fun.

Again, it was all just my dream. It's never gonna happen, ever.

"Eye." Call me in a slightly raucous voice.

However, Umi still ignored my calls and was more busy with my messy stuff.

Feeling a little upset, I called him again. "Umi's.. " Call me with a loud cry for me.

"Goddessa.." Surprised as he touched his chest.

"Hehe.." My laughter is grim.

Umi just shook her head with my behavior.

Walk, "What's the matter, baby?" Ask Umi as she approaches me.

"Umi, it was that morning.sister Razi.."

"Yes, baby this morning umi nitipin something to you and happened to be this morning umi there is a need so can not directly nganterin you dear." Umi explained and managed to make me regret asking.

Sigh. I've guessed that it couldn't have happened. I was too big of a head to expect something that was impossible for me.

"You cry, son, why you baby?" Tanya umi who immediately disperse my daydream.

Groped my cheek, "Huh, cry?, I cry?"

And sure enough, when I touched my cheek it was wet and warm.

I cried?

In front of umi?

Ah, shit. I have to find an excuse, however I must not look weak in front of him.

"Why son, does your stomach still hurt?." Umi asked worriedly.

Ah, yes, I can use this as an excuse

"Hm, umi. Zahra's stomach still hurts." Answer me reasoned.

Umi looked at me pity and shuffled hugging me.

It's been a long time since I felt it last time.

"Yes, I've come out first well want to help Razi nyiapin his clothes. In the meantime you rest, son."

Shirtpins?

Where is Razi going?

How-how long?

Till when?

Because I do not want to be confused, I also dare to ask before Umi leaves.

"Miss.."

"Yes.."

"Where is Razi going?"

Umi seemed to think before answering my question.

"Razi equals abi wants to go to the boarding house, there's business." Umi replied before finally greeting me and closing my room door.

To the boarding school?

Razi?

Abi's?

What are they doing there?

Is it possible.ah, shit!

This is really crazy.

SERIATE...