That's so dirty of me

That's how dirty I am

Zahras?

Wait, this is like my real life. Perhaps what they mean is..

"Alvin?" I asked in a barely audible voice.

"Hahaha.yap, you know. The boy's name is Alvin, I'm right if you know Alvin. Yeah, right.." Andrini's laughter exploded.

Unlike Andrini, Latifa was silent.

The glare of her eyes that looked completely different at this moment frightened me.

What's up with today, huh,?

Why today is so full of things I hate.

All the humiliation that happened today made my heart ache and filled with painful wounds. Andrini and Latifa are acting very strange here.

Author P's. O. V

"But how is this Zahra?, I forgot the continuation of the story.ops.gue forgot also, but finally inget also if among the three of us is the most know the continuation of the story is not only lo doang," Andrini said in a passionate tone.

"So, you can continue the connection of this story." Tanya Latifa who had started to make a sound.

Zahra bit her lips bitterly, there was a sense of annoyance mixed with fear for bringing up her dark past.

"Lo who, Ann?" Tanya Zahra ventured.

Don't tell me that what I think is true, I'm afraid that Alvin is someone close to them.

Hearing Zahra's innocent question, Andrini and Latifa immediately looked at each other and laughed out loud. Laughing at Zahra's innocence that looks like an uncharacteristic Zahra.

"Lo why Zahra?, you look like you're not the Zahra I've known all along.." Tanya Latifa is fishing.

Zahra snorted annoyed at being treated like he was playing around by Latifa and Andrini.

"Shut up, Fa. I'm not kidding right now. I'm serious!" Zahra replied both annoyed and furious.

"Ann, who are you?" Zahra was still curious.

"Hahaha, Zahra, how come you're such a gini?. I'm the one who's not Andrini." Andrini replied with a crisp laugh.

Feeling dissatisfied, Zahra finally revealed what she felt when she first met Andrini. "Ann, at first I thought that all this time I just ngayal aja about lo similar to someone, but it turns out that today everything is clear without me even asking. Lo's Alvin's brother, right?" Zahra asked fearfully, believing that what she said was true. But still, he was still afraid.

Andrini turned her gaze into a focus of noticing Zahra.

"Son, you're wrong Zahra. I'm not Alvin's brother, I'm the brother of a man you killed.!" Andrini said sharply but clearly will highlight the cold.

"What did I kill?" Ask Zahra in shock.

They say I'm a killer?Inner Zahra shock.

The flash back

"Zahra what is my fault that you have always ignored my existence here?, replied Zahra, what is my fault that you are so willing to act like this to me?" Asked a man who was already standing in front of Zahra with his tired face.

Zahra smiled sinisterly looking at this man standing in front of her, in her smile Zahra was like underestimating this male figure.

"Udahlah Alvin, you are not tired what do I keep following me?. It's been 3 hours, you follow me on the road?" Zahra's snappy does not like the man named Alvin.

Alvin rubbed his sweat-filled face while shaking rapidly, breaking Zahra's conjecture of her frail self.

"Listen Zahra, I've been well for a long time and the doctors have sentenced me to a hundred percent cure from my cancer, I can guarantee it and I'm not a weak man Zahra, really. I'm Zahra's strong man.." Alvin said solemnly as he raised his hand to touch Zahra's face.

Sweat that flooded Zahra's face from exhaustion.

But Alvin's hand did not touch Zahra's face because Zahra immediately brushed off Alvin's hand rough .

"Basi, I know you're cured but for me, you're a cripple!understand lo!!" Zahra said cynically.

Alvin frowned confusedly.

"Cowok is flawed, what do you mean Zahra?. Didn't I have clearly been sentenced to complete recovery from my illness by the doctor.." Tanya Alvin did not understand at the same time did not accept if she was considered disabled by Zahra because it was clear her doctor stated that she had healed completely and only needed to come to the hospital several times.

"Hahaha, um lo budek or what the hell?, I've told you that you've been cured of your disease but you forgot one thing.." Zahra's laughter exploded hearing Alvin's plain speech.

Alvin was increasingly confused by Zahra's explanation that seemed convoluted.

"One thing, you mean.." Ask Alvin.

Zahra was silent.

His eyes turned into a cold and sharp look.

Look serious.

"Lo sick guy, Alvin. You're disabled because you're a sick guy!. Even though you have healed or been sentenced to complete recovery by a doctor but still Al, still lo it is a sick man! " Zahra's emotions sounded hoarse as if he wanted to cry. To be honest he wasn't as bad as saying this to Alvin, it's just that this is the best path Zahra can take for her.

Alvin was very surprised by Zahra's words, he immediately bowed weakly realizing that he was always imperfect in the eyes of his heart adoration.

A small smile, "Zahra, do you know?," asked Alvin in an already weakened voice while lifting his face heavily. Staring at the heart with his own eyes.

"That I tried so hard to stay alive against the monsters that constantly gnawed at my body just because of you Zahra I was willing to do any treatment just for you Zahra!. Is there not the slightest room in your heart for me?" Alvin asked in a desperate voice.

"Zahra if it was someone else, maybe he would have preferred to die alone from dealing with that monster disease, maybe they would rather die than continue to do the treatment that makes us feel tired and sick!. But that doesn't apply to me at all, Zahra, it's because of you. Because of the people I love, so I have to keep fighting.."

Zahra turned her attention towards the highway.

"But unfortunately I don't care.." Said Zahra with a casual tone.

"Still, for me.lo is just someone with a disease.." Zahra said lightly while smiling dismissively.

Ignoring Alvin, Zahra gave a small smile as she carried her steps across the highway.

"Go, Alvin. I really don't need any presence in my life at all.." Zahra's message continued to walk away from Alvin.

Since there are people who need you more than I do, I'm sure being with him is the best option for you.

"And promise never to appear again in front of me because then I can live a quiet life.." Connect Zahra.

Zahra continued walking regardless of the circumstances around her. Until a box car with high speed in the direction of Zahra continues to accelerate without noticing anyone crossing the road.

"KITRAAAAAAA....WATCH OUT..." Shouted someone while pushing Zahra's body away and..

BRAAAKKK

The sound of a loud bang instantly resounded in Zahra's ears.

"What are those voices?" Zahra asked in fear with her body still lying on the ground.

"Gosh, dek...adek is fine, right.?" Ask a mas-mas in his early 30s to Zahra.

The mas along with two friends helped Zahra to stand up.

With a pale face and a body that continues to vibrate Zahra stepped closer to the crowd of people who were gathered next to the box car.

"Dec..this is the adek yah?" Ask a mother to Zahra.

"Friends?" Zahra asked with a troubled mind.

With his body still shaking Zahra entered into the crowd.

Alvin's? Inner Zahra was shocked to see the figure she had just met was already drenched in fresh blood.

Zahra immediately walked backwards while shaking her head strongly.

"Mmaaff.buk.he's not my friend.." Zahra stammered. He was scared and worried. He didn't know what to do because everything was so sudden.

Alvin who is still half conscious can hear the words of Zahra that are very cruel in Alvin's hearing.

"Dwelling.ra.." Alvin murmured before finally fainting and unconscious.

While Alvin is helpless and rushed to the hospital, Zahra leaves Alvin far away while assuring himself that he is innocent in this incident.

Flash back off

"Don't pretend amnesia deh lo!, I'm really disgusted at you as you basic girls have no shame!" Latifa's emotions instantly disperse Zahra from her bitter past memories.

"Son, you're wrong Ann.it's just a misunderstanding.." Elak Zahra from Andrini's accusation.

Hearing him, Andrini smiled thinly, more to dislike or annoyed.

"Misunderstand me?" Ask Andrini cynically.

"Hahaha.unfortunately we were both there.." Latifa laughter sounded forced and sounded crisp.

"You two are there?" Zahra asked in disbelief.

"Zahra, you think you can just lie to me, huh?. I'm there Zahra, I'm there!. I see clearly what you've done to Alvin, I see everything!." Shouted Andrini with overflowing emotions.

Yes, today is an opportunity that he could not have been in vain right after successfully trapping Zahra in his game he also managed to make Zahra hurt by humiliating him in front of many people. He had actually made Zahra's defense collapse in front of the crowd by convincing Zahra to reveal his one-handed taste.

Andrini knows, Zahra must have felt a very painful wound because of having a lot of bad luck. He knows it.

However, his compassion has been covered by the veil of hatred that is getting bigger and bigger.

And now, Andrini has really felt up to the peak, only this stage remains then Andrini will be completely satisfied with his hard work for one year, he felt.

"So, you're wrong, I didn't mean to hurt Alvin at all. What you see isn't all true, Ann..." Zahra's objections convinced Andrini who was already very emotional.

Andrini is seen laughing crisply while clapping and circling Zahra's body.

He looked into Zahra's eyes sharply while smiling cynically.

"Oh, so what do you think my eyes are cataracts?, because what I see is not all true!. Oh, or maybe you mean my eyes are blind again because what I see is not true, right?. You mean that!". Jerking Andrini does not like. Andrini saw on that day how Alvin saved Zahra from the box car, but Zahra was so cruel to Alvin. after being rescued he left Alvin that day, act as if he doesn't know her at all.

Zahra was stunned, this was the first time she saw Andrini this angry and loud.

"Ann, you're wrong..Ann-"

"Enough!," Cut Andrini fast. He was a little irritated to hear Zahra keep dodging.

"Don't say my name again with that dirty mouth, I'm not both disgusted and disgusted.." Andrini doesn't like it.

"One year."

"For a year I kept holding back my disgust and hate while I was with you!. I almost gave up Zahra, almost because what I was facing was a monster whose presence was hated by everyone!. Lo monster Zahra, you're a disgusting girl and you're dirty." Andrini's words evaporate his emotions.

"The monster?"

"Lo is outrageous, Ann! you don't know anything, what you saw at the time wasn't necessarily the truth." Bela Zahra did not accept. He didn't accept being treated like this because honestly they didn't know anything.

"A truth if you're a dirty chick?, you really don't have Zahra's heart, you're a hypocrite." Andrini's sulut is getting emotional. Obviously Andrini did not accept so his remarks were doubtful of the truth.

"Gue has repeatedly said that these two are just misunderstanding me!." Zahra bellowed furiously, ignoring Andrini and Latifa's hateful gazes towards her.

"Alah, stale lo!," Broke Andrini did not like.

Diverting her gaze looked at Latifa who was also staring at Zahra's irritation. "Fa, from earlier I said that slalu was considered wrong with him. How come here he's right, yeah.." Andrini's question provoked Latifa's argument that had not spoken much and was dominant in watching Andrini and Zahra argue with each other.

"Yes Ann, I don't think you know her. He's that guy, stubborn and willing to win by himself." Answer Latifa as it were.

Latifa stood up from her seat as she walked closer to Zahra who was already unstable in her heartbeat.

"Ra, you know what?" Latifa asked with her casual tone.

Zahra raised her head to look at Latifa.

"Gue.gue is very envious of you," He continued with his casual tone.

"Lo is a beautiful girl, Ra. Besides being beautiful you're also great Ra, you're great at hurting everyone." Latifa sounded more serious.

Zahra silently did not respond, preferring to shut up and listen to Latifa's chatter.

"Alvin, my first love. I'm willing that he's more willing to be lo because maybe that way he can be happy." Latifa told a sad story, considering how hurt she was so knowing that the person she loved turned out to be expecting another girl.

Zahra frowned.

So, that girl is really Latifa?. Zahra's mind was a little surprised. He does know a girl who likes Alvin named Latifa, but Zahra never guessed that the girl is Latifa who was always with him at school.

"Even I thought you were a great girl. You can build up the spirit for Alvin to continue to survive and fight against his disease, yes, you are great."

"Will but, after I noticed for quite a long time it turns out that all this time I was wrong about lo. Lo it's actually poison to Alvin, you're a snake! " Latifa said in a regretful voice. If he knows that Zahra is not a good girl and giving Alvin to her is a big mistake, then he prefers to pursue Alvin's love.

"If you had listened to Alvin and given him the chance to stay with you, Alvin would still be alive today." Latifa said in a weakened voice. It sounded raucous as if it was holding back its sobs.

Not only did he hold back his cries, but he also had long since endured the pain that had been entrenched in his heart. It was hard to forget how her heart was helpless.

"But you hypocrite Zahra!, you chose to go and pretend not to know him when he saved your life!. Loebisa's here and breathing because Alvin, lo.lo is really Zahra's filthy girl!." Latifa screamed out her anger. He could not forget how cruel this girl was to the idol and that was why Latifa confirmed that, yes, there was no sorry door for this dirty girl.

Zahra's face instantly turned deathly pale. There was pain in his heart when he heard Latifa say about her dirty self.

He hesitantly asked, "Dirty girl?" Ask Zahra weakly. Hey, Zahra never gets dirty because she knows she's innocent. He never did anything and it was a pure accident. Even if Alvin saves her, it's Alvin's own will, not his.

"Yes, you're a dirty girl!. You haven't been conscious until now, have you?" Andrini's reply clarified Latifa's words.

Zahra held her chest in pain, there was a very agonizing tightness in it.

"Is it because I left Alvin's death at the time that you two came to the conclusion that I was a dirty girl?" Zahra asked carefully while drawing conclusions from herself. If it was true then it also could not be considered his fault because back then he was so shocked and frightened.

Latifa and Andrini immediately looked at each other which then ended with giggling laughter.

They think that Zahra is very funny today.

Ignoring their mocking laughter, Zahra explained what happened that day. "Ann, I ran because I was scared. I'm afraid everyone thinks that if I'm the unlucky bearer for Alvin, I'm afraid that if I'm with Alvin then Alvin will continue to get hurt." Zahra assured Andrini. Yeah, this is also one of the reasons he stayed away from Alvin. He was afraid that Alvin would be unlucky if he continued near him.

"LIED!," cried Andrini refused with harsh honesty Zahra.

"Gue knew lo Zahra and you weren't that kind of person."

"Ck.ck.it is fitting that everyone hates lo Zahra, think and reflect on all that you have done so that everyone hates your presence so much." Latifa spoke in her signature style.

Zahra narrowed her eyes in a sign of not understanding.

Frowning confused, "What do you mean, Fa?" Zahra asked curiously.

"Oh, you're too much to be a person!" Upset Latifa.

Take the initiative, "Let me just." Sergei Andrini.

"Zahra, you know not everyone in your family is almost desperate to face you who are very unwilling to be arranged and always defiant in your family."

Suddenly Zahra's body stiffened, but she tried to control her shock by acting silent.

"They are very confused to overcome your attitude that can sometimes cross the threshold in attitude." Smiling obliquely, Andrini began to play with Zahra's emotions.

"Lo, you're really outrageous Zahra. How the hell did you guess your brother got into the club?" Andrini asked inexhaustible with Zahra's attitude that was very late. He gives a perfect expression to Annisa who is the victim of the cruelty of Zahra, his sister.

"Hey, Zahra, you forget or pretend to forget that you and your brother are very different. You are not the same as him, just because you live there does not mean your brother must also be able to live there!."

"So, we don't need to wonder why Mr. Alif prefers Annisa over him, anyway their differences are quite large." Latifa spoke the words of Andrini.

Zahra P's. O. V

DEG

Annisa's?

So the girl Alif is going to marry is Annisa?

No way!

They must be lying. Well, right now they're in a state of emotion that makes them go overboard like this.

"Lies!, you must be lying." My elak guessed their thoughts. I'm sure that what they say is impossible, yes, although I know that Annisa and Alif know each other but that doesn't mean that the girl is Annisa right?

"Wow, the reaction lo cepet also well about Mr. Alif." Latifa said in a strange voice. I know he's mocking me right now.

Shit!

I hate them!

If I hadn't listened to them then none of this would have happened.

"liying?"

"Hahaha.dumbass. You still don't realize it either, you know where we got this info from?"

"Fia, I know from Fia."

The fia?

What's the matter?

Why is all this so confusing, who exactly is Fia?

Why he can be close and know who Alif is, including his secrets.

"Fia?" Ask me not to believe. Because if it were, Fia and Annisa would have known you a long time ago, but I don't know about it. I'm not sure they're friends behind my back.

"Yaps, Fia." Latifa replied quickly.

"How-ever"

"Can you?, can you. Isn't Mr. Alif Fia's dearest cousin. They're a dear family." Clarify Andrini who immediately makes me silenced at the same time feel pain.

Why, why is Fia so bad to me?

Why did he never tell all this truth?

Why did he never tell me?

LT HURTS!

This is truly God's pain. What else is this?

What else do you want to show me?

Isn't it enough that everything that happened today?

Not enough?

"Why Zahra?. Oh, you shock well?, you are surprised because Fia covered all this from you?. Hahaha.lagian Fia where to be as good as you lo, lha wong pak Alif like Annisa."

"Oh, sir Alif how would Zahra be beautiful but dirty inside!, disgusting." Latifa said lightly.

Dirty?

"How can you say such a strange thing?. I'm not a dirty girl!." My elak broke their accusations against me. I'm not dirty because so far I've never done anything disgusting.

"Lo dirty Zahra, you're dirty. Can't you see it all clearly?, everyone hates your presence!even your family who incidentally is a person who slalu support you actually hate the presence of lo!" Andrini laughed cynically, saying these words easily and casually. As if this was something ordinary.

Ah, ja.

Hating me.

Ah, they're right. My family always ignored my presence at home. But that doesn't mean they hate me, does it?

"Because what is Zahra?, because you are a dirty girl and can't you realize all this from the beginning?, your actions that have trapped your brother increasingly make them hate you. You're different, they know the rules and you don't!"

"Gue is also not sure, as this time your family will not let you act any further. It could be you'll-"

This is bad, "ENOUGH!" My screams aren't strong.

There's a claustrophobic in here, so it feels and feels?

It hurts so much and can make me sick enough.

"Why Zahra, can't you accept that you're said to be dirty?" Latifa asked casually, there was an expression of victory there. I can see her.

THE BULLSHIT!

I hate this.

I hate being dirty!

I don't accept, I don't accept God.

"I'm not a dirty girl!!" My screams were full of anger. I've said many times that I'm not that bad, but they still don't want to listen.

"Lo.lo is really stubborn Zahra. Lo is evil Zahra, even all those who approach you will inevitably end up injured because of lo. Because what?, because you don't have Zahra's heart!, you don't have feelings."

"If you had any, none of this would have happened. Your family will not be angry, Alvin will not end up dead, your brother will not be injured and Mr. Alif will not feel ashamed."

"They all hurt Zahra, so don't be surprised if Mr. Alif prefers Annisa. Mr. Alif and Annisa are one level, equally educated. While lo? you're far from hope, you're dirty."

"It's only natural that no one really loves you. It's just natural." Andrini ended his words.

IT HURTS!!!

My heart feels like it's broken.

Wh why?

Why everything they say is the truth to me.

BUT YOU ALL DON'T UNDERSTAND!!!

You never want to find out and ask me why I'm like this. You guys are the same, thinking I'm the bad one.

"STOP..." My instructions can't stand it anymore.

I try to exert all my remaining energy so that my body can be lifted.

It hard.

My body is hard to work with today.

Too much chaos.

Too much weight that shocked this weak body. But what can I do. I have to be strong, I have to be strong even if no one supports me.

"Oh, lo-"

"STOP IT! don't you guys get it?, I said stop it!" Cut me mad.

Andrini was silent and did not respond.

Smiling wryly, "Alright, I'm the bad one. It's okay.." I muttered to myself as I walked away from their sight.

ICT.

I'm crying?, good.

At least they didn't see it.

God, am I really that dirty?

Am I really so dirty?

Is it true that my presence is poison to everyone?

Say God, that's okay.

Didn't you create me for this?

Haha..

For what I am sad, no one will really care.

Even God.

After I was completely away from the warehouse, I wiped away all the tears that wet my cheeks.

The feeling of coldness and loneliness now completely enveloped me. It's not like it used to be, it's like saying that I have nowhere to go back.

Andrini and Latifa were right that I was wrong. But that doesn't mean I'm dirty. I'm not dirty.

Someday, you will regret everything you have done to me today and I can confirm that. My mind is sad.

Author P's. O. V

"Zara.."

Zahra's steps stopped immediately.

He recognized this voice, it had not been heard for a long time but this time it suddenly sounded again.

Maybe because there is something urgent.

"Fira, you kok-"

"I feel sorry for you, Zahra.." Said Fira coldly.

This voice was not what Zahra had heard.

"What the hell, you're not so clear as to be a person."

"I'm sorry, not to you but to those closest to you. To be exact, I feel sorry for your family.." Fira.

Zahra was getting annoyed with Fira's very unsubstantiated babble, he was angry.

"Eh, you're a person who really knows my life?. Who are you?, how dare to comment on my life that you do not necessarily know!" Zahra murmur emotion.

Smiling knots, "You forgot Zahra, I'm Fira,"

"Alif's biological sister." replied Fira coldly.

Zahra blinked her eyes in shock, Fira's recognition as Alif's younger sister further confused her.

"What?, Alif's biological sister?" Repeat Zahra not believe.

"But isn't it Fia?" Zahra did not understand.

"Fia is our cousin, I can't figure out why your parents are this strong against you who are so stubborn and selfish?" Tanya Fira started the argument.

Fira's question managed to hit Zahra's heart. How could Fira ask such an impossible thing to answer.

"What do you mean?, even if you are Alif's younger brother, I can't tolerate you if you also like this!" Reply Zahra did not accept.

"I'm so Zahra too, even though you're Annisa's younger sister, I can't tolerate you after what you've done to Alif." Fira replied that he did not want to lose.

Zahra laughed cynically, it felt like she wanted to grab the hijab that covered Fira's head.

"What did I do to Alif?, I do care with him.." Sulut Zahra does not want to lose.

"Care?. So the humiliation you had done earlier to him was an attitude of concern?. God, it's appropriate that he would prefer Annisa over you.."

Deg

There was a loud bang that hit the heart of Zahra the deepest.

Very feel.

"What do you mean?" Zahra's question weakened with a hoarse voice sounding like crying.

"Alif does not want to date and the principle is the price of death, you do not understand because you are an uneducated girl!. You only think of your world."

Zahra was silent and did not respond to Fira.

"Do you know?" Tanya Fira was serious.

"Your performance has tarnished his pride!. Especially with last night you managed to make him hate you even more!!!"

"You are the filthy girl Zahra!!"

"You're Zahra's unlucky bearer!!!"

"You don't deserve to be by their side!" Fira said to Zahra.

Zahra stepped back. Fira's words really have sliced her heart.

Zahra touched her chest slowly, feeling a tightness that increasingly second she felt the tightness was increasingly tormenting her.

Zahra P's. O. V

Did ya?

Is that as dirty as me?

Until my existence was hated by them. Am I very dirty?

Until my existence is poison as well as bad luck for them.

Why didn't they say it directly?. So that I don't have to go any further there. So that I don't have much more to do there.

So that I know myself, that I am dirty.

"Am I so dirty?" Ask Fira carefully.

Fira looked at me off guard, like there was an expression of boredom there.

I can see it.

"Yes, you're very, very dirty. Everyone hates you. I even hate you so much!. Do you know what?

Alif hates you too much.

every time I mentioned your name in front of him, it was clear there was a fire of anger there."

Alif hates me?

That's for sure.

As they say, because I'm not his level.

"Zahra, you really don't deserve to be standing next to them. You have no place in their hearts. No one really needs you there." Said Fira advising me.

MAT

Without realizing it, my tears began to flow down my face, again. Surprisingly, for this time I did not mind that I was crying in the wrong place.

All the truth I heard today left me deeply hurt.

I don't know, but everything Fira says is true.

The truth is there's no place for me there.

No one really thought I was there.

Well, I was wrong!

I was wrong!

I always hurt them.

But it's because of ak-k

"If you had a little bit of compassion, then everyone would understand you. But in fact, your heart is blind. The suffering of your abi and umi you just ignored, as if you had never done anything wrong, you were indeed savage and now everything has been completely destroyed, there's no place for you on their side anymore. On our side."

Did ya?

"Already Zahra, your tears will never change anything. You are a dirty and uneducated girl! whatever you do you're rubbish to them. No one really expected your presence, dirty girl." Said Fira coldly as she walked leaving Me alone.

I immediately sat down limp.

It feels like all this is a nightmare to me.

Too many wounds!

There is too much bitter truth!.

And all of that made me realize that I was a dirty girl.

I'm a wild, uneducated girl.

I was a very unexpected girl.

\*\*\*

Author P's. O. V

Zahra walked over with gontai as she entered her yard.

In the yard of his house, Zahra also found an abi car parked neatly in front of his door.

Zahra climbed the cold floor of her house feeling reluctant and hesitant.

Zahra P's. O. V

Do I have a right to set foot in this house?

I don't know if I'll try.

I also walked closer to the door. I hesitantly raised my hand so that I could reach the doorknob, but I had not yet touched it suddenly the door was opened from the inside by someone.

"Miss.." Call me spontaneous because I find that the one who opens the door is Umi.

Umi only responded to me with her dear gaze, it seemed like she was sad.

Umi let me go inside and instructed me to go to the family room. The ones over there I found abi, Razi and Annisa were gathering.

This is not usually the case, such gathering events are very rare if you do not talk about serious things.

I was invited to sit on the middle sofa by Abi.

It's kind of a trial to me.

After all the family members were declared complete by Abi. Abi also started to open the conversation.

"Zahra, abi heard today you're making trouble again at school.is that right?" Abi asked in her distinctive stern voice.

I also understand where this conversation is going. As I thought, this is a trial for me.

"Making trouble?, Zahra never felt like making trouble in school just now, bi" I replied evading the accusation abi. Because like I said so many times, I don't feel guilty about what happened this morning.

Abi sighed heavily, holding something back.

"Stop, Zahra. Just get here you're playing around, it's time you got serious." Abi said firmly with his heavy voice.

I was a little surprised by Abi's words, it's like he said that I was just playing around.

"I mean abi?, Zahra doesn't understand." Ask me honestly.

Abi was heard gritting his teeth, this is a sign of abi's emotions being unstable.

Next to abi, umi continued to rub abi's shoulders gently. Like hinting to stay patient.

"First, you framed your sister Annisa to go to a nightclub. Second, exactly today you have insulted and humiliated your teacher at school.is this not a problem for you, Zahra?" Abi asked with her firm face to me.

I sighed softly preparing to explain everything clearly.

"Abi.abi misunderstood. Zahra brought sister Annisa to the club that night just for fun, but abi tau sendirak Annisa kak manjanya kayak how.di giniin dikit aja directly nangis-"

"Zahrah!!!" Snapping abi to me.

I was immediately bearded in shock to hear the scattering of abi that was very frightening to me.

"All right, bi.kalo kak Annisa spoiled.."

"Enough Zahra! this time you really crossed the line. Abi was very disappointed in you!" Cut the abi quickly with his emotions.

I laughed at Abi's words.

"Crossing the line?, Hahaha.why new now?.

Why did Abi realize it now.?" Manya challenged.

"Goddessa.." Abi said with his right hand while stroking his chest.

Seeing that Umi instantly acted by bringing abi's body back to sit on the sofa.

Author P's. O. V

"We miss our little Zahra.." Annisa suddenly made a sound.

Zahra was stunned to hear Annisa's words.

"Our spoiled and cheerful little Zahra, we miss her a lot. The little Zahra who always dyed this house with her joking and cheerful laughter. Come back to being our old little Zahra." Please Annisa be gentle to Zahra.

Zahra did not respond.

In his mind just kept swirling the memory of his beautiful childhood.

"I'm sure deep inside you is our little Zahra. I know that.." Sure Annisa's soft while touching Zahra's hand.

Zahra realized with the last words Annisa said. In Zahra's heart, there was an old wound that Annisa had raised.

A deep wound that turned him into the present Zahra.

Wounds they never knew and understood.

Zahra brushed aside Annisa's hand violently while giving her a cold look.

"Right, the little Zahra you missed is still alive and breathing. Oh, I'm sorry I mean that little Zahra is dead!" Zahra said fiercely.

"The little Zahra you long for is dead, this Zahra that is before you is Zahra who is now with her free world!"

"What do you mean, deck?" Annisa's asking weakly.

"Your little Zahra will never return, she is dead with her dreams!"

"Have you forgotten?, your little Zahra you killed!. You made him die, Annisa!,"

"And this Zahra who is in front of you is a different Zahra."

Looking at her brother's face hurt, "You know because you all hate me. Because you're all people think I'm trash!, because of you, I don't have the slightest place here.you're selfish Annisa!"

"Aappa mean you, deck. How can..?" Annisa did not understand.

"It's all because you're Annisa, it's all because you always want to be understood. If only you hadn't existed, if only you'd been dead"

"ZAHRA!!!"

PLAAKKS

A slap struck Zahra's cheek and knocked Zahra to the floor.

Zahra held onto her cheek that was flushed from the slap.

One drop

Two drops

Her tears began to fall from her beautiful eyes.

Meanwhile, Razi looked at his hand with a surprised and regretful expression.

What have I done, God?

Razi shook his head strongly as he retreated backwards, afraid that he would never imagine being rude to the woman he loved. Feeling chaotic, Razi prefers to turn around, walking quickly as he climbs the stairs intending to return to his room.

Seeing Razi's departure, Zahra could only laugh. Bitterer.

Realizing that she has absolutely no place here makes Zahra feel funny.

"It's okay, sister.this doesn't hurt." Zahra shouted loudly after seeing Razi enter her room.

"Zahra get up. It's time you went to the boarding house.." Abi said firmly.

JEEDDDEERRR'S

As in the lightning strike Zahra felt if his heart was broken into pieces.

"Is it because I'm so dirty?" Zahra asked carefully still in her position sitting on the cold floor.

"Stop talking Zahra bullshit, this is because you do need a tighter education there." Answer abi honestly.

"Hahaha.I forgot, if I was dirty. Until you guys feel so disgusted with me.iya right, bi? abi is disgusted by Zahra?" Zahra asked with a small laugh, but rest assured this was her agonizing laughter.

"Zahra knew if you all really hated Zahra, Zahra knew that Zahra was only seen by the TRASH here by all of you!. Zahra knew that, but why did you have to go to that place to throw me away?. Is there no other place besides the PRISON?" Zahra asked in her weak voice.

"Umi, Annisa's got Zahra in the car.while Razi's gonna get Zahra's suitcases.." Abi's instructions walked away from Zahra.

"Why is this in a hurry, Abi?. If Abi wants to throw Zahra away.please don't throw Zahra into that place..Zahra prefers to be dumped in the street.." Shouted Zahra.

But Abi continued to walk away from Zahra without turning back in the slightest.

This is exactly what you all did 10 years ago to me. Inner Zahra is wounded.

Zahra felt sorry to find herself being treated unfairly like this.

The wound is deep and growing.

"If you hate me, just kill me directly instead of you sending me to that hell place.you better kill me.." Shouted Zahra hysterically.

"Come, kid.." Take Umi while lifting up Zahra's body and lead her into the car.

"Umi, Zahra knows that you all hate Zahra, but please.don't throw Zahra into that prison! just dump Zahra in the street..Umfucking.." Tangis Zahra asked her umi sincerely.

Umi just shook her head sadly, her tears that kept flowing from her face illustrating how deeply hurt she was by the departure of her youngest child.

After Zahra actually entered the car, then the car left for the boarding school location which was quite far from the city.

In the car, Zahra's cries were no longer as loud as in her house. Zahra became even quieter and her eyes were just staring at the outside.

"if you can never give me love, at least please grant me my wish. Because then I would feel that if my existence was a little precious in your eyes and in the same way, I could break their words regarding your attitude. That's at least." Zahra murmured bitterly.

"It turns out, everything they say is not a lie. I'm a dirty girl, so you guys who are my family would rather throw me to a place I hate so much.."

Is that as dirty as me?

until I have no place on your side.

Am I very dirty?

so much that you wanted to throw me into that place.

Am I so disgusting?

so you guys really want to send me to that place.

Is there really no place for me here?

Am I really the bearer of disaster for all of you?. Am I that dirty?

Until there's no place for me to go back but to that dumpster. Will you really get me out of your life?

Is there not a single question in your hearts about why I became like this?

Am I really not worthy?

really?, I think yes.

"Is that dirty me ?." Zahra murmured to herself.

SERIATE...