PRISONER OF LOVE LOVE THE WIDOWER
Part 26's. Walking With Time
I saw Papa's shoulders shaken, unexpectedly their last meeting in this funeral home. Papa's wife stood by him, hugged me and said to mourn. I, too tired to cry, cried again to see their last encounter.
Their story doesn't end happily, Mama dresses up last now, but to say goodbye to everyone, with but no regrets seems... They have accepted their destiny. But the time to part still feels heavy for anyone.
The white color that marked the family's grief was bitter. I guess I'll hate the color white for a while it seems. I would hate the white, yellow and purple flowers that were scattered so much that day.
“Tata, Aunty thought Aunty could host you at home next month. But all our destinies don't know... “ A beautiful middle-aged woman named Yun Lan, spoke to me in English, Papa's wife hugged me to express her sorrow.
“Thank you Aunt received us so well.” I can only thank him for the kindness of his heart that had accepted our presence from the beginning.
“Your father is very happy that you can finally come to HK. Coming here is what it feels like to stifle..” I stood with him in front of Mama's coffin. While Papa was still in front there looking at Mama's face and praying for her.
Papa came to me shortly after. I hugged her, she hugged me, cried without a word being said, I knew we were both devastated. I'm sorry Mama can't see you like this, when she's not there – why this fate feels so bad now, if only I open my heart, listen to her words earlier.
“Your mama is calm and happy. We don't make it too sad.” A word I heard many times today as if it was absolute truth. This time from Papa.
“Iya Pa.” And as Koko said, you just have to step by step through this painful time.
“We sit.” Papa took us all to sit down. He has greeted all the family including my sister.
“You've eaten?” All Moms seem to have the same pattern they always ask if you've eaten. I'm just not really hungry...
“He hasn't eaten.” Ko Derrick pushed some food boxes in front of us.
“Eat. You should eat. It's still long..” He opened a box filled with fried rice from a restaurant in this funeral home, forcing me to feed the rice. “This is Derrick's three-day plan?” This funeral and prayer ceremony will provide an opportunity for Mama's friends who will serve, my friends, distant families who have not had time to come the first day. And give me a chance to accept this reality.
“Derrick, ask your people to help you these few days. Pity him alone.”.
“Iya Brorther rest easy.”
Strange, in that funeral home I spent a lot of time chatting, it felt lighter. Papa and his wife show respect to Mama, they come as part of the family, wear white clothes, Papa many business colleagues who come, I was introduced as the son of Papa, Papa, Mama was introduced as Papa's first wife. And his wife who is now has no problem with that. He was even attentive to me and my family.
But when all the guests were back in the evening, I sat alone with Mama again. Praying for her, Aunt accompanied me there every night sleeping with her in that funeral home. I was slowly able to accept the fact that this was indeed happening, able to pray to slowly let it go as the mourning went on.
Three days of mourning, the fourth day I have to let go of everything. My cry broke again, saying it felt so heavy, the prayer went to see the coffin lowered. And now I could only look at the wet ground along with the petals that covered it.
“Mama... Mama was happy there. Thanks Ma... Later Tata will be here again to visit Mama.” I whispered to him while touching his headstone.
That's all I can touch now. My solvent is gone.
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Hehe...Maap, mak also nulisnya must be ready tissue box. Whatever the story is, sometimes it just reminds us that there is a time when it all has to end. Don't forget to do good things for the people we love.
No regrets, happy people you care about now. May our time be enough, and may at the end of our time with our loved ones there be love left to remember. There is a beautiful memory that allows us to smile.
Death is not the end, it is just the beginning of a new life...
See you tomorrow's.
