Miss To Move Diary

Munajat Overlay

It's been a few days that polar man hasn't appeared, and I haven't even received any message from him.

I wake up in a third of the night, performing tahajjud.

Tonight was more silent than usual, for some reason, aware of a quieter silence than usual.

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After carrying out tahajud, pray, and never stop being grateful for the abundance of blessings given.

I stood back up, though,

Bismilbornrahmanirrahim,,,,,

I recited the intention of praying istikharah, surrendering myself entirely to the Khalik.

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Oh God, my God,

God knows everything, all things,

Verily you also know how troubled my heart and mind are at this time,

Oh God, my God,

There was nothing I wanted to see in this world but seeing the radiance of happiness from my parents,

Looking at the mother who was not thinking about her daughter's future fate with worry, she,

At this age, he is,

he really wants his daughter to have a life partner who can guide to jannah,

Yes Rahman, God is loving, God is,

All these years I've been in a gray cloud,

life is full of love and longing for Your servant whom You have invited.

All these years, I have kept my heart and my eyes from turning away from it,

keep my heart from betraying my feelings for her,

All these years too, a servant of Mu offered his heart to me,

A servant whom I had neglected due to the absence of a sense of affection grew in this heart.

A man who has stolen many of my family's hearts,

O God, I ask You for choice with Your knowledge, I ask Your power to determine my soul mate with Your nature, and I ask for some of Your great gifts,

For thou art most powerful, and I have no power,

You know that I do not know, and You know the unseen,,

O Rahim, the merciful Lord, the,,

If this man is good for me, my family, in my religion, my life and its consequences for me, then meet us in a legitimate bond before You,

However, if this man is bad for me, my family, in my religion, my life and its consequences for me,

take him away from me, and bestow good on me and my family,

The clothes I was wearing were soaked with tears.

I can't cry, I can't,

All my business left to the Almighty, I could not do without the Khalik.

After praying, I sat leaning on the bed, closing my eyes for a moment. I opened my phone for a while until I fell asleep.

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**

"Assalamu'alaikum." I'm greeting someone across the phone.

"Wa'alaikumsalam, Yevn. Go to Aye's cafe."

"Huh? What time sir? I'm still in the office." Said Mr. Am to me.

"Yes, it's the afternoon, it's empty, right?" Answer mr. Am.

"Yes sir, it's ok." Reply agree.

I put my phone back where it was, on the table.

I resumed my work to check several event schedules, and the service will be followed by the regent and sekda pj.

As soon as I finished all my work in the office, I noticed the clock attached to my wrist.

Time shows at half-three.

I tidied up my desk, intending to be home early today.

Eva didn't go to work today, because she went home to her parents.

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As soon as I got home, I sat on the sofa in the living room, turned on the television while leaning back to unwind the fatigue that was attacking me.

Actually the work in the office today is not so much to make tired.

Because actually the tiredness I feel comes from my mind and mind.

These few days, my mind is so messed up, that joining my online friends can't shake this.

After cleaning and refreshing myself I perform the Ashar prayer.

...

I saw Mr. Am's motorbike parked not far from the cafe parking door and the studio. I parked my bike next to him.

It was seen Mr. Am sitting at one of the tables in the corner, as soon as I entered the cafe.

I kissed him and kissed the back of his hand.

We started throwing greetings and asking for news.

Me and Mr. Am told me a lot, until I got to the art show that I attended the other day.

It turned out that Mr. Am received many questions both directly and via telephone from the audience. Start formal or silly.

I smile and laugh every now and then at the story. Until the look of Mr. Am's face changed, his gaze was more serious.

"How are you feeling?" That was the sound of the question being asked me.

I just smiled not answering the question, Mr. Am. Because I really can't reach my own heart.

"He called dad?" I asked back. And Mr. Am just smiled at me. Impressed to give a similar answer when he asked me earlier.

"He didn't let you go or try to ignore you. Male father, he is male, many men from various circles that you meet, but have never seen such a stubborn one."

I guess where this conversation is going. I concluded that Mr. Am tried to 'woo' my mind even my heart to be touched by his story.

But obviously I can't deny it, because what Mr. Am said was true. The man I told you about was stubborn.

"He just gave you time to think for yourself, to calm your heart and mind without any jumble from him."

I again tried to digest the words of Mr. Amrisal which made me guess my own, struggling in my heart with my question, and looking for the answer.

Indeed I felt a little homesickness towards that stubborn cold man. But I'm not sure if this is really a feeling of longing?

Since his last arrival that night, I haven't seen him again. Even from the last time he spoke to me before he was going home, I didn't get a greeting from him even through a message.

Is this miss? Did I miss him?

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I woke up at exactly two o'clock in the morning, again.

Maybe it's a natural alarm telling me to pray at night. At times like this, God reminds me that He has my place to complain and ask for guidance and peace.

I did tahajud and istikharah after that.

The words of Mr. Am are back.

"What exactly do you expect?...."

After the prayer and worship, I tidied my face and prayer mats.

My eyes can't be closed anymore. I picked up the phone and saw the group chat in Noveltoon.

There are thousands of chats I don't open. I don't know how to show up and join in. I'm really in a daze.

D*crrtt....

I woke up as soon as I heard my phone vibrate on the nightstand. When did I fall asleep? I grabbed my phone, saw a call with an anonymous number on the phone screen.

I chose to ignore, and put my phone in silent mode. I saw the clock showing at 05:25. I blinked against the drowsiness that was still felt. I don't want to dissolve with my sleep until it's dawn.

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I'm looking for the small-sized hijab brooch I used to wear. I can't find it on the dresser. I was already wearing a pashmina, but the tip of the jilba on my shoulder seemed to dangle freely and messily.

I didn't find the brooch I was looking for.

Until I tried to reach into the nightstand drawer beside my bed.

"Ahaa, why do you like nightstand so much? Do you have legs or wings? I don't feel like I'm putting you in this drawer." I said to the brooch, 😂😂

I put her on, and looked towards the mirror of appearance and the hijab I was wearing. It looks neat. After feeling satisfied, I closed the drawer on the nightstand I opened earlier.

Until the movement of my hand stopped, as soon as I saw the contents in the drawer.

I grabbed it, put it on the dresser. I looked at the parcel that was now in front of me.

"Is that how much I hate him? Even the gift of his gift until now I did not open, the gift he gave with sincerity. Sincere? How could I possibly conclude that he sincerely gave me this gift." I murmured in my heart.

I opened the mini paperbag given by Mr. Kavin. How wicked and arrogant I am. I hate myself even now.

I opened this little box, you know,,

This,,,,,, this,,,,,

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Seriate.....