Miss To Move Diary

The emotion?

Just like before, he was still standing in his position. I was confused by the ice man's stance.

*

Today I went to my father's grave, cleaned up the weeds that were so bad to see.

Sending prayers and telling stories as usual.

Let go of my constant sense of longing.

"Dad, everything's fine, bang Vhen is keeping us all well. Dad's daughter-in-law is also very nice, brother looks very happy."

"Dad's granddaughter has grown bigger and smarter. I'll teach him music if you don't mind. My training is also getting better, Yevn will remember Yevn's promise to father, that Yevn will only give good news to father. . ."

I bowed down, holding something back.

"I miss, Yevn really miss daddy's hug. Yevn misses dad's firm hand, Yevn misses yah.... With what miss this can be treated well?"

My cry broke, and I tried to keep it in check.

I stayed at my father's grave as soon as I calmed down.

Stepping out of the cemetery towards the parked car in the mosque across the street.

I immediately went to the Muslim cemetery where brother Arfan, a future husband who is still a filler of the heart.

Allahu akbar, Allahu akbar, Allahu akbar.

Two men that I can now only visit her grave.

Walk in the cemetery.

My tears began to trickle back when I saw the headstone from a distance.

I walked up to him, smiling as if he was welcoming me with his smile.

'Arfan Hadi Al - Ghifary bin Usman Al Ghifary'

His name was already visible from a distance of several steps.

"Assalamu'alaikum warohmatullah,,, brother."

I touched the head with my hand.

I smile even though my heart is fragile.

As in father's tomb, I chant a fine temple of prayer to the power of the deceased.

Stare at the headstone without saying, long.

Until the feathers flow into the cheek.

"Sister still occupies my heart sis, nothing has changed. Nothing will change it. It's all the same, I still take good care of it to this day."

"He still survives, even though I have said it many times. How could I replace your position with her. Let him find his saturation point."

"Sister, uhibopen fillah, Allahu ya'lamu qalbi."

My cry roared with his sobs.

Rabbi,,

My heart breaks with the longing that finds no saturation point,

A longing that still dominates all heart and body,

If not in the world, then,

Let us meet at your jannah,

As a person who is delayed,.

The soul who gave up everything to you,

As a servant who is always grateful and tawaddu',,

Yes Rahman Yes Rahim,,

Keep my heart from being negligent and overreaching,

Keep my heart to love you more than my love for her.

Keep my heart so that this love does not become a sin,,

.....

I set foot leaving the grave of Brother Arfan.

My crying has not yet subsided. I reached into the phone in my pocket because it was shaking.

I rubbed my cheeks, and my eyes were blurred by tears.

He was standing at the tomb gate, yes, he was.

Men are annoying and stubborn.

"Well?" I asked without a stale base.

I didn't heed it, passed by without looking at him.

"Yevn," He called and continued to follow my steps.

"I don't like being tailed, sir" I said without looking back.

"I'm not trailing, I'm just worried."

The answer.

"Last you've been here, drop straight away,,,"

"Mr took too much knowledge of all my privacy. And I don't like that." My words cut off his words.

"Obviously I know, Yevn. Because I care." The answer raised his voice higher.

prraaafr...

The phone that felt in my grasp, I slammed roughly into any place.

He was shocked by my actions.

"Astaghfirullah, Yevn."

He could not say a word after seeing my actions.

"I have my own life. You dig up everything about me from the people around me. Even you follow like this. You think I'm comfortable?"

I let go of my frustration and disappointment in him.

I picked up my cracked phone and then left it.

"Yevn, Yevn you're wrong." His words softened trying to keep up with my pace.

"Yevn," Call him.

I entered the car leaving him.

I'm driving the car home.

***

Bang Vhen knocked on my bedroom door.

I'm still loyal under the covers, because of the work holiday.

Brother came in as soon as I said.

Approaching me and touching the forehead check the temperature.

"You have a fever, deck?" So question.

"Hm, no. Okay, not fit" I replied not looking.

"Wake up, take a bath, have breakfast, take medicine." Said chattering. I covered my ears with a pillow.

"Awaited outside, hunted." Said brother while throwing a paperbag that had no idea what it was on the bed, right in front of my face.

After my brother came out of the door I checked the contents of the paper bag that my brother was carrying.

Cell phones. A cell phone, how did Vhen know my phone was abrasive and the screen cracked? Mumbles.

I eavesdropped out the door, faintly sounding bang Vhen was speaking and once said my name.

I didn't hear exactly what he was talking about.

I put on my hijab stepped out of the room. Do not forget the paperbag and its contents also I tenteng.

Alfandy was sitting there with bang Vhen.

I handed the paperbag to him.

"Sorry, I can't take it." My speech.

I turned to look at bang Vhen who was looking at me as well, Bang Vhen scratched his non-itchy head.

"Hmm, I'm staying, Fan." Bang Vhen said wrong.

I explained that I could not accept the gift. He said it was to replace my phone that had been damaged because of him.

I still can't take it, because my phone is broken not because of him. It was purely because of me.

He asked me to accept it, and I refused so hard, that he could not dwell anymore on my refusal.

***

I'm back in my second world.

I told the story that had happened to Megha.

Mom May responded as well. Mom May is a member of GC Ayu.

I have a family and have a son.

Often advised us not to stay up late, rest a lot and not eat late.

Fifit, Santi is also often reminded by mom May.

Fifit is one of the security committee of GC Ayu, as well as Santi.

Santi also has matters of feeling and heart. It's just the opposite of the problem I'm facing. 😂

"Mommy, hawker, brother Anast snack, all of them are Ruru hawker." 😅

This is Ruru Ayu's foster child. 😅😂😂

Fadhil, Nathan began to highlight their peers, of course, in addition to New the queen of Gesrek. ✌

I was silent and liked to listen while laughing. Here, my world changed.

****

I curled up at the corner of the bed, hugged my knees and covered my neck.

This is the time when I feel bad about my feelings. After what happened 2 years ago.

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Seriate

Applicable

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