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I woke up from sleep. I saw the clock showing at two in the morning.
I saw my phone screen on.
Before going to bed I pray istikharah, hoping Allah will give me the best choice.
I rubbed my face with both hands. Raise a little pillow and lean back.
I remember the dream I just had. Is this an answer? Mumbles.
I grabbed my phone that kept blinking. There were a lot of calls coming in and a few chats from my friend's friend.
You must have guessed correctly again who called me.
Yes, brother Arfan. She called me while I was sleeping, of course I didn't hear, because my phone was in silent mode.
I put my phone back on the nightstand, then scratched my non-itchy head.
"Yes, no, yeah, no, yeah, no." I muttered, I shook my head realizing my ridiculous behavior.
I take off the blanket and get out of bed. Step into the bathroom, clean yourself and berwudhu to perform sunnah tahajjud prayer.
After the prayer, I sat back on the edge of the bed. I grabbed a glass filled with drinking water that I always provide on the nightstand before going to bed.
I grabbed my phone again after putting the empty glass back in place.
I opened one by one the messages that Arfan sent yesterday. I read carefully.
O God, if he is You have chosen as my soul mate, and if this is the best, I will accept it with sincerity.
I picked up the Quran and started reading it. I don't think I can sleep anymore. My eyes won't support that.
Until dawn I prayed at dawn.
The clock is at half-five.
I stood tidying up the mukena replaced it with a navy hijab then grabbed a sweater whose size looks oversized. But it is that size. Warm clothes are the best choice at this time.
I stepped out of the room, towards the family room. I don't think I want to watch.
I intend to cook for breakfast. I finally went to the kitchen and started cooking.
I put it all on the table and closed it. Because no one is going to have breakfast. Maybe all are still sleeping or are performing dawn prayers.
I felt so lonely and confused not knowing what to do.
I finally stepped into Brother Vhen's room.
At the door I knocked and called my brother. But there is no lawfulness.
I sat in front of my brother's room door, leaning my head against the door.
brruck. I fell when my brother opened the door.
"Oh." Speak spontaneously.
"Geez, deck, what are you doing sleeping here?" Said my brother while pulling my hand to help me stand up.
"More playing hide and seek bang." I said annoyed.
"Huh? Same who? Horrified you deck, playing hide and seek no one. I thought you were playing the violin." Said my brother replying to me with his joke.
"Hadeehhh, use on the line again, when the round. Come on bang out, I'm confused about what to do."
My whine to Vhen's brother.