Just A Wedding

Chapter 44

Assalamualaik............

Sorry new up. Happy reading.

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I went back to my room. I came home when I saw me well and healthy. Although I look healthy but I am very sick in my heart. Ma'am Ayunda accompanied me to the hospital that took care of me until the third day of the day. For home business all done by my sister Arsita. sometimes I'm alone in this hospital because Mbak Ayunda came home to see his children.

On my own and alone with my son, I felt very compassionate. This baby will be three days old tonight but until now Mr. Satrio did not ask how I and my baby are doing.

I tried to smile and hold on as if I was okay. Deep and deep, my heart is broken. I don't want to begging for any more attention from him, that's enough for me. I've taken my own path. I wanted to take care of this baby myself without or with her presence. Without or at his expense. I strengthened my hand not to be moved to call or give WA messages to him.

Tough little cry is very strong in my sling. Yes, my little baby I named Tough. You can guess the meaning of the name. I want this baby to be tough on everything. He was also tough from the beginning he was inside my body. My brother had gone home to his house in the village when I was allowed to go home by the doctor.

I took time off at the end of my pregnancy so I could be with my son for three whole months.

If another woman after childbirth is spoiled by her husband and family not with me. I have to do everything myself. Starting from washing clothes, ironing and cooking. I have to be strong and healthy for my son and my family. To find a housekeeper for me is impossible. Because of our circumstances, not less but not more enough. So I have to save, a new journey begins. For the future of my son. The feeling of loving a mother began to grow in my heart. It was as if it had just disappeared the regret of hate that had once stopped in my heart considering how tough the presence in my life was. Although his biological father never wanted to hear the news about Tangguh. I have to be a mother and a father to him. You can and will and can.

If anyone asks me if my family knows about my situation and Mr. Satrio who is far from harmonious. Yes they all know, but they gave it all to me. Never asked when Mr. Satrio came to see Tangguh his son. Or just asking if he called me asking me if I and our son were talking.

I must be strong with everything but can't I sob a little with my situation. Not complaining just about telling a story. If daylight isn't so crowded in my chest. But if that night starts to come, I feel very alone taking care of Tough. If another young mother keeps her baby crying in the middle of the night with her husband or mother, not with me. I often cry when Tough wakes up in the middle of the night. I feel myself raising this baby.

This morning as usual after the morning prayers I cooked. Tough still sleeping soundly. It doesn't feel to the beholder but to me it's very heavy. Today is three months of tough age. As soon as I finished cooking I put it all on the table. I took a towel and took a shower. My black net was blown away instantly when I saw a grown man whom I had been waiting for for months. My lips quivered with a loud cry that broke in silence this morning. I can't help feeling this happy and moved. Yes the father figure of my tough son. Until I ignored Jhoji's screaming voice.

" B........Om Satrio............"

" b .......Om Satrio...........".

My net seemed to have been directed at the grown man in front of me. I myself do not know that hatred, the feeling of not wanting to meet again, the feeling of disappointment, resentment, the desire to remove him from my mind just disappeared when I saw him coming in front of me. And Merta I ran towards him who stood before me. I hugged the body of the man in front of me. I hugged tightly and cried out to the man who was the husband and father of my son. I am powerless with a fragment of love still in my heart. This taste fragment turned out to be able to destroy all hatred and revenge on him. Don't ask me why I'm like that, because I don't know either. Why can I lose my sense of ego who once said not to want to consider seeking his attention. The feeling that once said did not want to meet or tell him. I was still crying and crying in his arms. It was as if this chest could breathe again. Many times he rubbed my hair and said softly.

" I'm sorry.I'm sorry I just came to visit"

I nodded with my face to him.

" There's a thousand sorry for you........."

He was getting closer as if he did not want to let go of me. Father and Jhoji were silent to see the two of us. I was the one who was still crying and was led to sit in a chair. Then he greeted and shook my father's hand

There was no question from my father why he had just arrived. Let us keep this matter in silence and the forgiving matter is also erased by his present presence. The clumsy atmosphere changed after the Resilient cry sounded loud. I hurried to the room followed by him.

" He is very handsome .....," exclaimed Mr. Satrio quietly with a look on the face of Tough.

" Tough,"

I said that without any questions from him.

" What a great name......"

" His full name ? "

ask him again carefully.

I'm shaking.

" I have not given a long name.just tough. Deed and birth certificate was deliberately not taken care of."

" Why.....? asked Mr. Satrio with a frown.

" Because I believe mas came and gave him a name," I replied quietly with fixed eyes looking at the Tangguh who was beginning to fall asleep again.

" How about Tough Adi Panengah ?propose him to me.

I smiled in agreement.

" Yes.a good name."

Mr. Satrio also smiled because I agreed with his proposal.

" I want to kiss and hug Tough, but I want to shower first".

while walking towards Almari he opened the wardrobe.

" My clothes are still there, right ?" ask him as if he wants to know.

" aaaahhhhh is still complete and neatly arranged," he continued to answer his own question that he asked earlier. Yes, I did keep her clothes neatly arranged in the closet. I intentionally didn't pack it up and stay in place. Because at the bottom of my heart. I still hope he comes and comes back to me even though thousands and thousands of layers I cover hard and firm if I no longer need him.