Just A Wedding

chapter 31

Assalamualaik..........

Don't forget to be happy today............

Happy reading......................

After dinner I went back to my room because my body was not fit properly. I can't wait to get big. Yes besuk me home. I've missed my hometown. The city where I was born. A city where I enjoy my joy and sorrow. I miss the street - the street is full of street vendors offering food. I miss my town in the morning and I miss my job.

Back I heard the rhythm of the song "mariage de amor" played nicely by Adrian. This piano sound reminds me of Henry. The smell of his body still lingered strongly on my skin. If others knew it would certainly laugh or even denounce. I keep it in plastic without washing it. The clothes I used the last time I was at the park with him. On the shirt was the smell of Henry's perfume that was still smelled. If I miss him I open the plastic bag and kiss him back. I felt Henry holding me warmly. Right now, I really want to be hugged by Henry. Talk anything until morning.

Adrian piano strains still rhymed and sometimes changed with the sound of the violin. The door of my room opened.I turned my head.Satrio's smile was on its back with his cherry while greeting me.

" Not slept ?"

" Not yet, but already sleepy.." I straightforwardly answer his question.

Mr. Satrio immediately entered the bad cover I used. Hugged me from behind and smelled my hair. I took a deep breath. There is another insult tonight. I smiled in the tears I could endure. Slowly Mr. Satrio opened one by one the pajama buttons I was wearing. I'm letting. I am tired of fighting and avoiding. Nor would I ask him to do his duty as a husband. I'm without what now is like a newborn baby. Nothing he did was just hug me from behind.

" I want to sleep here. "

A notice or request he made. I can't interpret for sure.

" Here's the chamber, man,"

I tried to get my pajamas back for me to wear. But Mr. Satrio gently forbade it.

" Let it be like this,"

" I want to sleep like this" the tighter Mr. Satrio hugged me as if I was his bolster. I'm getting used to being treated like this. Insulted because it is only seen. But tonight he wants to sleep with me in a situation that I find very strange. He stays neat with his pajamas. As for me, it feels like I'm a cheap woman who accidentally climbed into the bed of a moneyed and perverted man. I try to loosen his embrace.

"crsssssstttttt"

" Let's go to sleep, morning we go" he asked me gently. Her net was closed reluctantly Open.

" But I'm not comfortable......"

" Just secured, just stay bristled kok bothered,"

" I'm sorry just this time I can accompany Dik Rin to sleep"

I just smiled but remained invisible to Mr. Satrio because I turned my back on him. Yes it is only tonight as a husband and wife I sleep one bed with him. No hard heart beat. There is no broken heart. I'm used to this humiliation. I closed my eyes in Mr. Satrio's arms. Adrian's piano still sounds not tired he plays his piano. But this piano sound as if it were ushering in my imagination that the one who hugged me was Henry.

" I'm sorry brother,"

" I can't do my duty either"

" I guess by getting married, being able to forget Dik Asri was not able to"

" Now I feel more sinful already begging Dik Asri"

" I myself do not know why I can not do with Dik Rin and can only do all with his mother Adrian"

I was sobbing with bad breath. This man who was hugging me. Why so honest or deliberately insulting me. I can accept being insulted by taking off everything I wear but why do I feel insulted as well. I've had enough of being insulted like a cheap woman. Why is it now insulted again that I cannot take his place as wife. I'm not the one asking for this marriage. I'm not the one who started this relationship. Why is it like this ? Why not as beautiful as I imagined ? I wanted to cry but tried hard. My tears did not come out may have been caught off guard by this situation.

Very tight in my face. I want to scream as loud and as I want. I want to curse with all my swearing. I'm tired. Yes ....is this my punishment for wasting Henry's sincere love. Maybe fate laughed loudly at me like this. Fall, rise and fall again. The more I drown in the complexity of looking for love. I just want to be loved sincerely. I just want to be like other women who are spoiled by their partners. Are my dreams exaggerated ? Am I dreaming too much ? Can't I get a man who loves me ? Who would marry me with love ? Am I in a hurry to take steps to get married soon ? Because there are many bullies around me, my age has passed from the age of marriage. Do I feel lonely to rush to get married to get the love of a man ? Or am I trying to escape the fact that Henry can't be with me ?

I've been toying with Ravi for so long. I love Henry but I can't get it. Now....and now, again I am made into a game material by men I just knew how ironic I am. I began to want to love him, but firmly this feeling was immediately withdrawn. This feeling still sprouted with the hope of new hope. I try to control my bad breath.

" Before we were married. I've married Siri again to her mother Adrian without my parents' knowledge,"

Destroyed my life with a few words strung together in one magical sentence just now. Destroyed is my wish that I ornamented beautifully and want to make it real.

If only I could I would want to rebel to hit hard this man who is none other than my rightful husband.

" Why choose me.....?"

" We didn't know each other before,"

" Why choose me who is never wrong with mas and mbak Asri?" Rebellious to me with a slashing voice and crying that chime into a rhythm of attitudinal instability. Disappointment rhythm. Rebellious rhythm. This voice was like a lascar - a war soldier who was exhausted from training not because of war. This voice roared, torn apart by injustice.

" I'm sorry to have Dik Rin involved in my troubles with Adrian's mother"

" One day if Dik Rin meets a man who loves Dik Rin. I'll take Dik Rin off"

" But let it be for a while like this first.we just got married"

Mariage de amor played Adrian is increasingly slashing and slicing hearts that have been tattered camping. Now getting sliced small and small to dusty. What am I supposed to do with this heart ? Where should I take this heart ?

I'm Mr. Satrio's legal wife but my position is only as his second wife. Before marrying me, he married Siri first to his ex-wife. Sister Asri, she is the wife of my husband's series but the position of first wife. Who is the third person in this story.

? ik?Who is the actor in this situation ?

I struggled to let go of Mr. Satrio's embrace but he strongly hugged me and kissed me"

" Let it be like this, brother,"

" I want to sleep like this with you,"

" Let's sleep like a husband and wife tonight,"

I closed my eyes tightly trying to find the image of Henry in my eyes. A few minutes Mr. Satrio fell asleep. We didn't do it. Again we did not do it. Mr. Satrio as he has - has only done as he pleases to insult me. I came out of his arms and re-wrote my pajamas. I walked into the kitchen. I thirst...I am not only thirsty body but my mind too.

seriate.................